Dinner passed by uneventfully.
We all just sat and ate.
But I did notice that Audrey had a sulking face and the glares that Xavier kept sending her way. Andrew ate in complete silence ignoring Philip and everyone in the room. Philip ate a few spoons of his food, before pushing away the plate and walking away.
Uncle Vincent, me and Koa seemed to be the only people in this place without a clue eating our meal.
Or was it only me who was clueless.
Was I being ignorant like I always am?
"You are going to be queen? You neither know your siblings problems nor do you know how to solve them as an elder sibling."
"Queen my ass."
I swallowed the thick lump that formed in my throat.
I was always slow with socializing and understanding others problems. It was one of the main disadvantages I had.
I had been home schooled all my life. Because that will help me with time. And I could learn my royal duties and responsibilities best. I never went to school. Never sat in a room filled with children. Never made friends who were not among noble ranks. Never made someone who wanted to be my friend just because they liked me. Never had my own graduation. Never went to university.
And now look where I am. I had always prided myself to be at least the best elder sister to my siblings.
I remember the day Audrey was born. I was barely three years old and dad had let me hold her in my tiny hands. I remember her giggling as soon as she was in my arms. I remember smothering Audrey with wet and sloppy kisses and her opening her eyes and cooing at me.
Today the same Audrey was sulking and I not the single clue why.
I remember when I was ten years old and Philip was just a six year old and would follow me around the palace. Everywhere. He never left me alone even for a moment.
Big sis this. Big sis that.
He would often hit into walls. And start crying until I hugged and kissed his booboo's away.
The same brother now walks away from the dinner table without finishing his dinner.
What was I?
"A failure."
The voice at the back of my head told me.
I complete my meal. And retire to my bed chambers after greeting everyone a very good night.
As I shut the door and am greeted by the darkness and emptiness of the room my heart thumps hard in disapproval.
It beats with the need to turn on every single light in the bedroom.
"You a queen?"
"Have you seen princess Syera?"
"Who hasn't? We get forced to spend time with her."
"She is so prim and proper."
"She is like a puppet."
"No she is a parrot. She repeats what the people teach her."
"She can never be the ruler of Silenus."
Laughs.
Laughs.
They echoed through the room. They reverberated through every wall. The fear of failing consumes me whole again.
I switch on all the lights at once and spin around the center of the room. While running my hands through my hair and screaming as loud as I could.
I hoped that my scream could pierce through every other voice in this room. The pain. Flowing through me. The panic.
I look at my disoriented self in the mirror in front of me.
Hair messy. The ribbon that had been holding my hair discarded on the floor. My pale skin had red spots on it because of screaming so loudly. My eyes bloodshot and the tears rolling down my face.
"Queen and me?"
No way in fucking hell.
I quickly walk into my shower and turn it on. I stand under the water as my mind starts spinning and spiraling into the depths of the thought and memories that always came in them. It cooled and dulled under the coldness of the water.
My heart beat loudly as the numbness fills my mind.
After standing there for what felt like an eternity.
I crawled into my bed without bothering to change.
To exhausted by the world.
To exhausted by trying to be perfect.
To exhausted by failing.
Failing again and again.
To exhausted of having a title.
To exhausted to care about how the attendants would talk how the perfect crowned princess slept at night with her wet clothes and without changing.
I let my eyes close and let sleep take me.
I let my mind try to find temporary peace.
.
.
.
"Selena come out!"
Dad yelled at the car as the petrol leaked rapidly. Blood rolling down his forehead. But his eyes fixed on mom.
"Alex... leave me be. Go!"
Mom looked into father's eyes. Not a single tear or a flicker of fear in her eyes.
"How can I leave you, My queen?"
Dad asked his eyes tearing up. As he desperately clasped mothers hand through the broken window and he sat in the debris and ruins of the car. He brought her hand close to his lips and kissed it as he broke down.
The king broke down.
The king bent for his queen.
"You must leave Alex. If you want to take care of our children. Always remember I loved you and only you. I loved you to my hearts content. And I will love you even after death. In every life I want to be yours. I loved being your girlfriend. I loved being your wife. I loved being your queen. I loved being the mother of our children. Tell them that I love them. Always and forever. And you Alex. I want you see me die with a smile. Not tears."
Father sobbed hard and took a deep breath as he knelt down and kissed mother.
"Selena. I started my life with you. And it ends with you. Our children are strong enough. They have each other. But don't break me by leaving me alone. I promised death do us part. But I am selfish. I am not going to part ways with you. Lets do this together. My queen. There is no King without you."
He looked at the spark that's started in the car.
He hugged my mother and closed his eyes. With a serene smile.
"I was always ready to die in the love my queen."
And the car blew up.
It exploded. It burnt.
The fire burnt until it robbed me of my everything.
Mother!!
Father!!
Don't leave me!!
I yelled as I kept trying to reach them in dark.
Only my hand in sight.
Syera!
Syera!
Syera Annabella Florence!!
My eyes snap open and I look into the most beautiful pair of eyes I had ever laid eyes on.
Koa Callisto was hugging me tightly in the middle of the corridor in the middle of the night?