To Find Something True

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🏆 THE AMBY AWARDS 2023 TOP PICKS - NOVEL FANFICTION CATEGORY 🏆 📚 FEATURED IN THE AMBASSADOR'S NEWSLETTER "... Daha Fazla

preface
thanks to; to readers
short info; casts; disclaimer
※ one
※ two
※ three
※ four
※ five
※ six
※ seven
※ eight
※ nine
※ ten
※ eleven
※ twelve
※ thirteen
hints to subplots
i have a question 🥲
※ fourteen
※ fifteen
※ sixteen
※ seventeen
※ eighteen
※ nineteen
※ twenty
※ twenty-one
※ twenty-two
※ twenty-three
※ twenty-four
※ twenty-five
※ twenty-six
※ twenty-seven
※ twenty-eight
※ twenty-nine
※ thirty
※ thirty-one
※ thirty-two
※ thirty-three
※ thirty-four
※ thirty-five
※ thirty-six
What is Sexual Coercion?
※ thirty-seven
※ pride month special ※
※ thirty-eight
※ thirty-nine (pt. 1)
※ thirty-nine (pt.2 ; BONUS CHAPTER)
※ forty
※ forty-one
※ forty-two
※ forty-three
※ forty-four
※ forty-five
※ forty-seven
※ forty-eight
※ forty-nine
※ fifty
※ fifty-one
※ fifty-two
※ fifty-three
※ fifty-four
※ fifty-five
※ fifty-six
※ fifty-seven
※ fifty-eight
※ fifty-nine
※ sixty
※ sixty-one
※ final
※ epilogue
letter from Jess to Jiah
Q&A [open]
Special Chapter

※ forty-six

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The journey to Shinhye's house was filled with chats and laughter. There were times when they had nothing to talk about, and soft-volumed music became the thing that loosened the quietness.

Once in a while, Jiah clicked her phone's power button, wishing her best friend would respond to her messages and missed calls. However, they were already twenty minutes away from her house, and her phone hadn't rung. The closer they reached her house, the more anxious she became. Negative thoughts filled her mind.

The sight of a plain white bungalow with a blue wooden door had her pointing and saying, "That's her house."

Seokjin slowed and pulled over his car in front of the short concrete fence. Jiah squinted her eyes at the small door in between the fence, recognizing it was opened. She pulled the door's lever and hopped off the car. Seokjin followed suit.

Approaching the gate, she got startled by the sound of children crying. She also heard a loud yet distant "appa!" Hurriedly, she thrust the gate open and strode to the door. She spun the doorknob and was met with the sight of her best friend lying on the floor. Blood puddled on the floor, just beneath her head.

Her teenage brother was cowering on the floor as her father repeatedly hit him with a flat surface of a club. Shinhye's ten-year-old brother was hugging his seven-year-old sister, both crying at the corner. The boy was even begging his father to stop in the midst of his cry.

Jiah's heart palpitated furiously against her ribs. Her fists trembled. Her eyes reddened and pooled with tears. Without hesitation, she strode toward the skinny middle-aged man, pulling him by the shoulder. Once he faced her, she sent a loud slap from one hand and another punch; it landed on his nose. The older man fell on his back.

Without a blink, she took a step towards him and kicked him in the ribs and stomach as many times as she could. Seokjin had two of the children outside of the house, and upon noticing Jiah's wrath, he called her. But his voice sounded distant, and the only thing that was getting louder was her yelling profanities.

Her wrath had become uncontrollable. The old man spat blood, and that forced Seokjin to pull her away. It was easy to pull her by the waist without tumbling backward due to her small physique.

Jiah's eyebrows scrunched up, tears flowing unstoppably. She was struggling in Seokjin's embrace until he yelled, "Snapped out of it, Lee Jiah!" Gradually, she calmed down but still sobbed and stared at the weakened man, disgusted.

She had so much to say to the man on the ground, but she was unable to find the proper arrangement of words. For Shinhye, she was awfully angry.

"Jiah noona!" called the fifteen-year-old boy, Jinyoung. Bruises on his face covered with a worried look as he sat beside the oldest child of the family. He said, "Shinhye noona's not waking up!"

Jiah whipped her head toward the two oldest siblings' presences. She pried Seokjin's arms from her waist and scampered to Shinhye. Kneeling down, her jeans were damp with blood. Tears continued to roll, but she quickly wiped them away. Placing her palms on Shinhye's cheeks, she softly slapped them. A brittle tone escaped as she called out her name, "Han Shinhye? Shinhye-yah. Shinhye-yah!"

No response. Thus, she placed two fingers under her nose. Soft air could be felt. Her red eye rims looked at Seokjin. "She's breathing. We need to bring her to the hospital. Please help me carry her."

Jiah moved to the side as Seokjin approached and squatted, carrying Shinhye with his arms under her legs and neck. He instructed the children to help open the door. The boy ran to his car, opening the door while the girl stood there, watching them with dampened eyes, her index finger in her mouth.

Jiah faced Jinyoung. She said, "We need to get you treated."

"How about my father?"

"Don't mind him!" she yelled.

"You'll get in jail if something happens to appa!" Jinyoung yelled back. That got Jiah mum. She only stared at him with her chest deeply rising up and down.

Finally, she stood up, shaking her head and fished out her phone from the jeans' pocket. She dialed the emergency service number and within a second, her call was answered. The operator greeted her, asking her what her emergency was. Explaining someone was injured, telling the address and situation, she even added, "There will be their neighbor waiting for you."

**********

Seokjin insisted that he would pay the hospital bills for them when they found out the bills were higher than they had expected. To lessen his burden, Jiah suggested splitting the bills with her. He was adamant at first, but when she told him that having him pay for everything would make her feel bad, he finally gave in.

The seven-year-old Yina fell asleep on Jiah's lap. Her head rested on her chest, and the petite body was secure in Jiah's arms. On her left, the ten-year-old Chan also fell asleep; his head rested on the side of her arm.

On her right, there sat fifteen-year-old Jinyoung. A big, square bandaid on one of his cheeks and forehead. His eyes, arm, and the corner of his lips remained bruised even after treatment.

Knowing that a soft voice would echo in the hospital, she spoke carefully, "I haven't been able to reach you guys." She turned her head to Jinyoung. "Why is that?"

Jinyoung inhaled a deep sigh. He let his sigh echo in the silence for a while. "Appa sold my phone. He smashed Shinhye noona's phone when she threatened to report him to the police," he explained.

"But there's a payphone nearby."

"Appa took all of our money... He didn't even bother to leave a coin. Once we were desperate, so we knocked on the neighbor's house. But no one opened their doors."

That detail hurt Jiah. She released a sigh. Then, she asked, "Have you guys been eating well?" Jinyoung peered at her with hesitancy. "Please be honest," she said.

"No," he whispered. "I managed to steal from the supermarket, though."

Jiah looked at him, stiffened. "Does your sister know?"

"She does. Noona was mad at first. But I told her I steal food for our younger siblings," he said, looking at Yina in Jiah's arm and allowed a pause. "They are so young and always hungry. If stealing isn't a crime, I would have continued doing it for them. And noona doesn't have to come home tired every day."

"Why did she resign from working at the café?"

Jinyoung looked at her. "I think noona told you about her issue with the café."

Jiah nodded and said, "She did. Something happened?"

"The boss's wife assaulted her. I was there when that happened," he said. "She accused Shinhye noona of things she didn't do and pulled her hair. Even tried to scratch her face."

"That lady is sick," Jiah spat.

"Obviously. I heard that her husband hasn't given her enough attention, and she was jealous her husband has been treating the women staff nicely."

Snorting, she said, "The way you said that, goodness! You sounded like you're forty."

Jinyoung let out a breathy laugh.

"And how's school?" Jiah asked.

"I skipped school," the younger boy answered.

"Why?" Her voice echoed louder in astonishment.

"We can't afford to pay for my school fees."

"How about Chan's?" she asked, her eyebrow creased at him.

Lips curved downwards, Jinyoung shook his head side to side. Then, he said, "We homeschool. When appa wasn't around, noona would teach us." Despite the bandaid on his cheek, he smiled and said, "don't worry! We're still learning things. Thanks to Shinhye noona."

Replying to his smile with a light one, she said, "that's fine then." Silence rang through their area this time, having Jiah deeply thinking of ways to help them. Then, she remembered her father. Carefully not to wake Chan beside her, she tilted her body to Jinyoung's side. She asked, "Can you help me get my phone in my pocket?"

Jinyoung looked down on her lap and fetched her phone. He passed it to her.

As she unlocked and clicked the 'contact' app, she said, "I'll tell my father to let you stay the night at my house. So, go find my father at the barber, okay?"

Jinyoung's eyebrows creased. "You don't have to."

"You better listen to your noona," Jiah said in a warning tone. "Ask my father to cook for you. I know you're hungry. There are many snacks in the kitchen's upper cabinet. Get them for Chan and Yina. Don't give Chan the sweet ones. Turn on the TV if you want to watch. Ask my father for the barber's Wi-Fi password if you need internet. Okay?" Jinyoung's silence made her squint her eyes at him. She repeated, "Okay?"

Jinyoung droned, "Okay."

"Don't go back to your house. Not until Shinhye is fully recovered."

"Okay," the boy droned again.

Jiah smirked, holding back a laugh. Then, she clicked her father's contact number to call. Attaching her phone on her ear, she heard it ring before her father's raspy deep voice came through. "Huh, Jiah-yah. Why'd ya calling?" her father asked.

"Are you busy?"

"No. I've just done with a customer."

"Great! I'm sending Shinhye's siblings to our house. Can you let them stay there for the day?"

"Ah, that Joonyoung tall boy, Chan, and Nina?"

"It's Jinyoung, Chan, and Yina. My goodness!"

Mr. Lee chuckled. "They can come over. But that's so sudden. Did something happen?"

"We're at the hospital right now. No one will be taking care of them if Shinhye's gone."

"What happened to the kids?" Mr. Lee asked, his tone laced with worry.

"It's a long story," she said. "Make sure you prepare some yummy food, appa! No bland soup!"

Her father's laugh rang through. "Alright, alright. You coming home with them?"

Jiah kept quiet for a brief moment before saying, "I don't think so. Not until Shinhye's woken up." At that time, Seokjin was on his way to their waiting area. "I'm hanging up, appa. Don't do anything silly!"

Her father laughed once again. "Alright, my daughter. See ya!"

"Yeah," she drawled and hung up. Seokjin was already standing in front of her that time. She looked at him and said, "I'm sending them to my home."

"Ah," Seokjin whispered. "Do you want me to send them?"

Jiah shook her head as she said, "it's fine. I'm lending them my fare card." Then, she patted Chan's lap and softly called him, "Chan-ah, wake up." He stirred.

Jinyoung stood up and sluggishly walked to Chan. "Chan-ah, we're going home," he said. Chan's eyes opened and glimpsed at them one by one before rubbing his eyes.

Chan hopped down from the chair and held his brother's hand. Just as Jiah was about to pass Yina to Jinyoung, she woke up. She looked blankly at her brother before reaching for him. As Jinyoung got his youngest sister, he groaned and joked, "why are you this heavy?" Yina whined with the bottom lip jutted out.

The scene had both Jiah and Seokjin chuckling. Jiah passed her fare card to Jinyoung and sent them out to the entrance. When she returned to Seokjin, he looked up and smiled at her. She sat beside him.

Seokjin asked, "are you okay?"

Her lips twitched a smile. "Yeah," she said.

"Your knuckles are still red."

Jiah looked down at her knuckles. She released a brief chuckle. "I've never sent one punch to someone that hard. I've never kicked someone that hard either."

"You broke his nose and ribs. And he had internal bleeding. You're lucky that he survived, or you'll get charged with assault."

"To be honest, I don't mind if that makes him learn his lesson. That's the least I could do to protect my best friend."

"But that mister doesn't look like he'd learn his lesson."

Jiah smiled. "That's the point. If I go to jail, I can tell my attorney and the judge what he had been doing to his children."

"You don't mind if your sentence is heavier than his?"

"I don't," she said, shaking her head.

Seokjin hummed and said, "that's not a good idea. I don't want to lose someone like you."

Giggling, Jiah drawled, "I'm just joking. Of course, I mind. Who will help my father and Shinhye?" She paused. "I used to tell you that violence isn't a solution. But here I am. Letting my wrath control me all over."

Seokjin chuckled. "You're lucky that I'm with you. I can't imagine what kind of monster you'll transform into." Squinting his eyes, he joked, "are you Darth Vader?"

Jiah threw her head back and laughed. "Darth Vader isn't a monster!"

"Oh, really?" He asked, faking a surprised expression. "My bad!" Her laugh dimmed in the silence when she stopped, allowing the hospital's coldness to drape both of them.

It was comfortable yet worrisome. If she was alone waiting for Shinhye in the ward to wake up, she didn't think she would still sit down at the waiting area comfortably. Her mind would restlessly revolve around her best friend.

Seokjin seemed to have grasped the atmosphere too. In a soft tone, he asked, "are you sure you're okay?"

She took a moment to ask herself mentally first. Her throat felt tight, her nose grew colder. Her eyes threatened to release wetness. She tried to hold back, but her vision turned glassy.

Without looking at Seokjin, she tried to stably say, "I don't know." She paused. "When I saw my best friend laid unconscious with blood, I was... I turned insane. I never expected her father or I would behave that far. I can feel the amount of protectiveness I have for my best friend." She swallowed painfully, finding herself unable to express more.

Seokjin only sat there looking at her sadly.

"Jinyoung had to steal for food. All the kids had to skip school since they can't afford paying the fees. They don't have a phone to reach me too. They had no money for anything." She was afraid to raise up her head, not wanting to show the tears that had escaped and dropped on the denim. "It hurts me to know these," she said. Her lips quivered, holding back a sob.

Seokjin softly held her chin with the side of his hand, forcing her to raise her red and wet face. They locked eyes until Jiah burst into tears, and sobs finally flowed out. He scooted closer, pulling her into a hug. A palm stuck on her back, stroking it softly. Another hand behind her head, softly inviting it to land on his broad shoulder.

Sobbing, she uttered, "I'm so mad. I'm frustrated. I'm hurting."

His palm continued to pat and stroke her back, shushing her softly as she bawled like a child.

**********

Non-family members were not allowed to stay for the night with patients. Thus, the nurses urged Jiah and Seokjin to go home. Jiah requested to give her a call when Shinhye woke up and signed herself as Shinhye's guardian.

However, that night, they drove to the police station first to lodge a report against Shinhye's father. With the police's request to bring in the victim, they picked up Jinyoung to let him give a testimony. Jiah had a hard time coaxing Jinyoung, but at the mention of Shinhye and the younger siblings, he decided to listen to Jiah.

Shinhye's father was charged with child abuse and would be arrested once he regained consciousness.

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