T H E O
"And we are looking, smiling, crying - and everything inbetween" Aimee's assistant instructed in a sing song voice as she showed us how to walk down the isle
I wanna say her name was Annie, or maybe Anna, I couldn't remember - something that started with an 'A'
Pfft, Annie or Anna, regardless, she was annoying me slightly, it's not like I don't know how to walk, how hard could it be?
I get it, it's a big event and it's Aimee's big event so everything needed to be perfect, but- my god I would've just stayed at home if I knew that was option.
I was all for Ollie and Aimee getting married, but sometimes I just needed to take a step back because I like my peace.
These past few weeks of wedding prep have been fucking intense and I mean like military Sargent intense.
"So Ollie, Elijah, Theo, Crawford-" Anna, or Annie, whichever it was, started talking again and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. She was like Aimee times by ten, you could only take her in small doses.
As I stood in line at the top of the isle, opposite the place where the girls would be standing not too long from now, I kept glancing at my watch. God only knows why because this wasn't going to be over for at least another few hours - because we still had the rehearsal dinner to get through and like I keep saying, it just had to be perfect before we left
The wedding was happening any day now and nothing could go wrong.
It was due to be the wedding of the year according to every tabloid.
And any day now I'd be in an uncomfortable tux, repeatedly tugging at my collar as it would definitely irritate me the second I put it on. I hated tuxedos, - well ties to be more exact, they never sat right around my collar no matter how many times I'd undo and redo it, it'd be crooked or too long or just all round too tight and I didn't like them full stop.
The only one I could just about stand was- well, it was one tied by a certain woman before one of my football award nights back in university, but she wasn't here to tie my tie anymore and hasn't been for a few years.
Not since I let her go...
"Alright everyone, please follow after me to the reception area!" Aimee's assistant called out, ushering all of us along
I paid no mind to anyone else and pulled my phone out of my back pocket to at least answer any messages I may have gotten
There were a few from my coach telling me that it might be a big wedding but it was prime football season and as soon as the wedding celebrations were over, it was back to training as normal.
We had big matches coming up.
Some messages from Stass, I was quick to respond back to them, whilst following after everyone outside to the reception tent kind of thing, as the text messages were about Nonna and Nonno - who I definitely needed to see soon.
It'd been far too long since I'd seen them in person and I wanted to-
"Theo you're going to be sat here" Aimee's assistant instructed, ushering me to my seat at a table filled with everyone closest to Aimee and Ollie.
I was never one to take notice of decorations or colour schemes and stuff, but from what has already been built, the reception area was outside, lead from a cobbled path - it descended into a mosaic of tables and chairs for guests, all the way up until a square marble dance floor - which had a small stage infront of it.
It looked good. I could see why Aimee was the it girl for weddings.
As I approached the table, I smiled inwardly at the sight of the many familiar faces gathered for such a big event coming up - who haven't been in the same place at the same time in a long time, and yet we all looked so drained from this tortuous day. But at least it was a unanimous agreement without even having to say it that this wedding was going to be a big party - one to put our university days to shame.
The table was actually the only thing I didn't like, well the position of it. It was right at the front of the reception room, where all eyes would be on the main wedding party - as Aimee and Ollie were also seated at the table.
Glancing around, I realised how many people the couple were planning on having, looking at all the empty chairs set up in preparation for a few days time.
Fucking hell - it had to be a good thousand, maybe two.
And then there was just us. Us - the main wedding party of around 7, sat down like students listening to Aimee and her assistants instructions of how the day would go.
Blowing out a heavy sigh, I relaxed in my chair slightly, knowing it would be best to get comfortable for this.
I even let a little smirk tug at my lips as I saw Crawford doing the same, but the lucky bastard had an empty chair next to him so that he could stretch out his legs.
Hold on, empty chair?
Empty chair, who wasn't here-
Oh.
How could I forget.
But what I couldn't understand is why they weren't here. Why this certain individual - who was of such high importance to the bride to be wasn't here. Why that very person hadn't shown up and no one had said anything about it.
A certain individual who I- okay yes I was thinking about her.
Yes, I wanted to know why she wasn't here.
I can't lie to myself and say that I wasn't keeping an eye out for her, because I fucking was.
Every single clickity clack I heard from anyone's heels on the pebbled floor - I turned my head like an owl - craning my neck - just to see if it was her.
If she'd finally showed up to the rehearsal dinner.
But so far nothing, just builders for the reception - or venue staff.
Zero sign of her
And the annoying thing was that I couldn't exactly go and ask someone about her because why would I be asking? What would I say in response to a simple why?
That would lead to more questions.
Like why?
Why did I want to see her?
Why did I? Truthfully, I have no fucking clue.
No clue at all.
I just - I don't know, it's been so long that I want to know.
I want to know if there's something there-
If she's, if we're-
Closure maybe? I don't know.
I should've gotten closure the moment we ended the phone Call but I didn't.
I haven't and I can't keep lying to myself.
I want to know if she really and truly still
If she's still...
FUCK! I wanted to bang my head against the wall a thousand times over with the way she hadn't even stepped into my proximity and yet I couldn't get her off of my mind
She fucking consumed me and I-
"Bro, she's not coming" I heard as I almost snapped my neck, turning it at an ungodly sped to find the source of who knew the information I wanted and how the hell did they know I wanted it
"Huh?" I asked, trying to play it cool, frowning my eyebrows in confusion because I could've gotten this all wrong, maybe this conversation wasn't about her, maybe they weren't even talking to me
But little did I realise that I had spent so much time letting my thoughts run wild about a certain woman, eyes fixated on the empty chair, everyone had dispersed - grabbing water and snacks from the nearby table because I assumed we were having a small break.
"I know you're looking for her" he stated the obvious that I couldn't hide even if I wanted to at this point. I tried to keep my face neutral, but I'm guessing that my expression gave it away
I definitely felt my cheeks flush ever so slightly at being caught out and I couldn't help but instinctively reach up and scratch the back of my neck nervously out of habit.
"She's not coming" he repeated in a low voice, making sure that our conversation wasn't overheard
"I-" I opened and closed my mouth hoping to overcome this mental stump that was the topic of conversation of the woman I hadn't seen in 5 years and yet I couldn't
I don't think I ever could
"I can see it on your face - she's clouding your judgement, your eyes say it all." They smiled at me
Come on, get a grip! Stop obsessing over her!
"I don't think anyone's told you, but she's busy today - so she's not coming"they clarified as I nodded my head slowly
After a brief silence and me awaiting to see if they had anymore information, they finally said. "She'll be at the wedding though" with a definitive tone
"You won't be waiting on her too long now" Crawford smiled as he gave me one of his boyish grins that used to mean we were up to absolute mischief bsck in our uni days, but now - now it meant something else
It meant that he was routing for me
For me and her.