IGLESIAS
I came from the base lastnight pretty late. It's morning now and I only slept 3 hours. Elvira is still sleeping and I'm suprised that her little friend woke up early. She's at the bathroom and I saw what room she got out from. So I went over to see how they filled this empty old room,I'm curious. I walk over to the room and lean on the door frame with ny arms crossed to my chest. My heart squeezed. Hard. Disgust and agony flushes through me so quickly and I can feel the blood draining throughout my face as I get pale. I cant move. My heartbeats are echoes in my chest and it's loud. Almost too loud. I hate this. So much my head is spinning with colors and memories that I tried to Bury away and not think of them.
Maria's room.
This was Maria's room ,my little sister. I remember leaning the same way I am right now over her door as I watched her showing me her flower collection and her pearls. They are still here. The pearls. I force myself to fight back the vomit I haven't been in this room for so long I always never dared to open it , cause if did. I will always always hear her voice. It would be either her screams. Or her laughter. Or he cries. And I didn't want to hear none of above. Because they killed her and I was naive. A coward I couldn't have done something about it immediately and save her life . I couldn't. That doesn't mean I won't make up for it.
That girl comes out the bathroom with a towel in her hand drying her hair with it "uhm goodmorning?" "Goodmorning. "
"What are you doing here , do you like my room or something?"
"Yeah I do. I'm suprised you didn't take the pearls out. Or the curtains " "nah I think they are cute " I force a smile and look at my shoes as I slip my hand in my pocket "you know..." She puts on a confused look. "This. This was my little sisters room." "Oh. im sorry does she want it back?"at this I laugh.
"No, it's yours now" "where is your sister now by the way" "I freeze. And my blood runs cold.
"She ..isn't around anymore."
"Ahhh" "How old is she "
It was a terrible mistake to mention my sister. I cant form the words to her saying that she's dead. That is the only thing that I can't do. I wish i could wipe her memory about me telling her about my sister because I am stuck. I don't know what to say I can't get myself to speak I dont want to carry this on I can't tell her that she's dead. She could have been 16 now liliana, just like you but no too bad because she died at 12. I cant say that , matter of fact I haven't said that fucked up sentence to anyone. I want her gone- "liliana..I've bought you some new clothes-oh and you said you wanted to see my room? You can see it now go!, I will catch up with you" "yess ugh finally I need to judge " Elvira smiles at her as she runs to our bedroom almost too exited. I'm glad elvira helped me. I wasn't handling that quite well and she heard. She heard what liliana asked and she knows.
I sigh as soon liliana left and drop my head in my hands "gosh..thank you." "Oh well goodmorning " "how are you elvira " she looks stunned. "I-uh im fine?" "So..it was her room ?" "Yeah. So long ago feels like yesterday " "im sorry" i drag and hand over my face "its not your fault." "Iglesias. I know how much you dont want to talk about this , its okay lets just brush it off and go downstairs shall we?" When im aroud her,my heart kicks into the calm zone. Automatically,she knows what makes me uncomfortable and she knows how to make the moment better
She looks effortlessly beautiful. Even in the morning with her hair a little messed up and her eyes still tired ,yet I can still see the spark in them, her eyes are absolutely gorgeous. Blue very dark blue that you have to put her in the sun to realise that they are blue .
i think i adore her,and it's suffocating me.
...
ELVIRA
I woke up. And When i did something caught my eye , the side next to me on the bed is rustled which can mean only one thing,Iglesias was here. And he slept here. And this time he woke up before me again.
I get out of my room and i hear liliana and Iglesias talking ,this is interesting to know what they might be possibly talking about while im not around, might be a arguement since its liliana. But its worse. Its about maria,how could they possibly end up talking about maria "how old is Maria ?". That's when it completely hit him. His face went pale. Like he actually went all white. His breathing are getting only heavier by the more I look ,his hands, trembling. His eyes are filled with fear and surrender. I cannot let him be in this position any longer no.
...
Liliana is actually helping the maids set the table. Gosh this girl. She smiles at them as she places the plates on the table in a fast motion and setting knife to knife and fork to fork. I let her do it for a little longer before I tell her to let it go. She looks happy as she looks at me at laughs at something she heard. "New maid just hired". "WHAT". I drag a hand over my face ,close my eyes ,laugh and shake my head. At her ". Why are you helping the maids Liliana they are paid maids for a reason,". " Because I want to help-PAID MAIDS why am I not getting paid?". "Because you're not a maid. They don't need help,". "oh . You're right. I thought the poor creatures were doing it for free ,sorry maid #3 I'm gonna sit down".
"Liliana where are you from?". Iglesias asks. "El Salvador". "It makes sense ". "What did you say?". He pinches the bridge of his nose and blows a breath. Romeo comes out if nowhere. " Alla base c'è un grosso problema ". ( At the base , there's a massive problem).
"Che cosa?". Iglesias has a disappointed look on his face as he swears under his breath while he looks down. "Well shit call rivaldo to open the gates for us I'll be there in 15 minutes". "On it.".
There's a problem at the base and I don't know what is it about. Romeo didn't say anything but Iglesias looked like he already knew. And this can't be good. Iglesias looks too unsatisfied to this be good.
He rests his hands on the table as his head is dropped down looking at his shoes. His shoulders growing and shrinking as he breathes he's stressing. He's stressing so hard about something I haven't figured out yet. I wish they could give him a break to breath. A break for him to realise that he can breath freely without worrying . I really wish that.
"What's wrong?" I ask
He turns around,hands still on the table but other way ,now he's facing me and his breaths are the same ,loud and heavy, he looks me straight in the eye with a mix of worridness and anger . "Elvira". He manages to spit out. "I'm going to have to leave. Something... something happened"
I can't ask him what happened because hell he looks like he don't want to talk any bit of it. So I just nod and try to look as understanding as possible. He walks over it me and holds a grip on both of my shoulders and looks me deep in the eye. "It's your turn to be careful okay?". No . No it's not I have nothing to be careful about . "Just tell me what I can't do"
"You can't leave the town ,If u want to go out ,take a bodyguard with you alright? I have to go". He lets go if my shoulders and nearly runs upstairs .
Liliana's face is un-describe able .
Her eyes are wide and her lips are slightly parted as she looks at me
"That was intense."
"Oh Liliana". "It was ! Oh my god the way he looked at you and how he spoke damn girl ". "I don't know what happened". "it's fine he will handle it"
"That's what everyone expect from him" I mumble under my breath slightly getting irritated. "What?- Elvira. What is going on what are you thinking-". "Let's just let him leave okay. Then we will talk ". The response was a sound of a car driving off. Iglesias just left. "Okayyy. He's gone. How about we eat and you talk and I'll listen?". " It just that . People like his dad and not just his dad expect so much from Iglesias god it's so tiring. And I know how it feels. I really do ". "Well Elvira he was born for this life he's every well trained to do this right?". "no one was born for this life. We was born with a hard life so we can make it better. Life is a test it tests you so hard that the people in the aslyums lose their minds trying to get out the hard part of life ."
"We both didn't deserve to be born with a life like this ,I mean gosh I've seen him wake up at nightmares Liliana. The way I used too and it's killing me .". "Hey ,can you-calm down?". "Please, everyone from a mile away would see Iglesias as the strong and smart man he is ,he knows how to handle things okay?"
"How about we look around town after we eat?" She recommends.
"But he said to not-".
"I heard what he said Elvira he said to not leave town. We are not going to leave town".
Yeah. He didn't tell me to not get out the house he told me to now leave town . It's so good having Liliana around again. I don't know what I would be possibly doing right now if she wasn't here and I was stuck in this situation. Probably bite my nails and worry my guts off till he comes back .
Why am I even worried .
...
Liliana is gasping as she goes through my wardrobe,gasping at every piece she picks up "okay you are wearing this-OH MY GOD. Elvira you will look stunning in this.". "Really? We just have to look around town not go to a wedding .". "Oh it is a wedding we have a bodyguard and a expensive car are you kidding me ?! ". I drag a exhausted hand over my face and a smile creeps on my face as I close my eyes and shake my head. "Fine. It is a wedding then , you can wear any of my clothes you want ". I say as I turn around and head over to the bathroom to get changed ,I can hear her squeal and scream "thank you" as I close the door. A happy giggle escape my lips as I lock the door and get dressed.
I'm ready , and so is she , gosh she looks amazing. The dress she picked out is short light pink. And it fits her perfectly better than it fits me, she's so beautiful I always say this in my mind whenever I see Liliana , because she is truly breathtaking . I say it to her often but there are moments where I don't and I just smile at her and she's confused why I'm smiling .
"let's go. Where's that bodyguard thing'
"Thing?? That's a man liliana let's go he's outside "
And we drive off .
IGLESIAS
He's tied to a chair, his hands attached to the arm rester of the chair ,wrapped with a hard rope and a thick chain,just to pain him a little .
Same goes for his legs, strapped to the legs of the chair and his torso is tied back with chain only to keep him straight and look up . I didn't do this I just gave out orders , he's attempting to escape but he can't,he's not facing me and it's irritating me pretty fastly I want to shoot his face already but no,I need to have a word with him. I put my hands behind me and stand Infront of him
"who sent you here"
"None of your business"
"Wrong answer"
"I hate you" he says through his teeth as his eyes widen .
"Oh no don't think that I feel the opposite, you're getting tortured man"
"Or ,you can speak and I let you go "
I lie. If he speaks ,says any information that is possibly useful i will still have to kill him .
"Again,shall we ? Who sent you?"
"I came by myself " I shut my eyes close in frustration before I collide my first with his jaw and he almost falls together with the chair.
"Guess I'm going to do this the hard way" I take a fistfull of his shirt , searching for a tattoo, that's when I see it. On his fucking neck there's a snake in a triangle shape , this is Valerio's gang. I should have known.
That bastard sent this asshole to sneak into my base and he thought I wouldn't notice? Bad decision. Bad bad decision.
"I'm not going to kill you. "
"Until you look like you're really suffering from the pains I'm going to give you "
His eyes widen as they fill with tears and he screams and wobles in the chair and shakes and he shouts more and more , being in denial . Too late
First we started slow,mostly only me.
I've set my lighter on his fingertips and his screams ringing in my ears only made me want to make him shout louder. The blood dripping from his finger tips , flesh sizzles from the burn,tap tap tap ,sounds of his blood on the floor ,like a half closed faucet. He was squirming too much that he managed to fall together with the chair, and that made me stop burning his fingers and he thought this was over. No,they picked him up back in place and I went out of that room and let him sit with the pain for some time. Only so I can return. And he looks like he saw the devil for the 5th time today when he saw me.
I've attached jumpleads to his skin and he's already screaming even thought I haven't turned them on. He knows what's he's about to face. Turned them on maximum and sat back in my seat Infront of him as I watch him suffer as he gets electrocuted,
a smile creeps on my face . I'm enjoying this too much.
I look at him longer , too long that it disgusts me. I cant be staying here any longer or else i might vomit. Feels like deja vu. Like something my father used to do ,to no one but me . I get out of the room immediatly before i tell them to turn off the electricity from him.
I get to my office and close the door. I look at my chair before closing my eyes and sinking myself in the chair. Wherever i am right now,my mind isn't in the same place.
I feel like im slowly losing my mind slow by slow day by day. I can't focus. I put my mind to something,another thought comes comes ,i dont have any control over my self ,i get really mad,only things that calms me down is, alcohol and cigarettes, im disgusting myself. I know that drinking only reminds me of my father and how im turning like him and i still do it. I dont want to become like him ever but im scared. I dont know what might happen to me in 10 years ,i dont want to be like my father,but im very much afraid that my mindset will change,exactly like it changed when i was 15. I do not have my mindset that i used to have when i was 15. And im afraid that i wont be having the mindset i have right now at 30. My father used to torture me for not being man enough my whole life,and when i say whole life i mean while i was a kid. Mainly,all the scars that are located on my body are only because of my father. And im not feeling pity for myself not at all because i was a coward. I was a coward for not being able to follow up my fathers twisted strategies of how to be a man and mostly,i couldn't save her life. Im being cruel,pyschocatic,heartless for a reason .im taking people's life for a reason ,i do whatever the fuck i do because i have a reason , a good reason ,they killed my little sister in cold blood and i wont stop until im covered in the blood of who did this. My reasoning is acceptable,but my father,no his reason for torturing his son was always
"I want to make you a better man" he gave me a traumatic past that he expects me to forget about it , that easy.
I take one more sip of cold whiskey before get up and leave the base.
T
he man i just tortured is still in that room tied to his chair,im leaving there this night just so he stay with his burned fingers and electrocuted body. I'll deal with him tomorrow .
...
ELVIRA
I showed liliana where me and iglesias first met, gosh it feels like yesterday. If only i knew who he was when i saw him. We went shopping for candles and books, we got a lot and we also laughed alot and i havent laughed like this in a long, time. We are back home now and we went and put our stuff in our rooms , lit some candles and started talking about our favorite part of this day. "How does those bodyguards always have a blank face ?" She asks
"No idea,it's a pretty talent though "
"Yeah,i wish i could do that ,my facial expressions give away my emotions "
I look at her with my eyebrow rised up
And she widens her eyes and we both end up laughing "definitely gave it away"
I rub my eye with free hand and yawn as i drop my head on the bed ,im exhausted.
"Soo does he normally come hime really late?" She asks worriedly for me.
"What? Ofcourse not ..sometimes."
"Gosh theres so much drama" she drops her head on the bed next to me and states at the ceiling with me. "No there's not " i deny as i turn my head to look at her with my brows slightly furrowed
"Is this shit slow burn?"
"Liliana. "
"No because does he even ..like you?"
I close my eyes shut.
"I..dont know and liliana i dont care as long we get along we are good. " i turn my head back straight to stare at the ceiling.
She gets up and props her elbow to support her weight on it "i heard the way you talk about him, you definitely feel something for him Elvira its not a crime to admit."
It's not a crime to admit.
It's not a crime to admit.
It's not a crime to admit.
I can't.
"No" i breath out fastly suddenly getting up
Frantically.
"You can't- you can't say that liliana "
I get up to my feet now and face her and i feel my bones shaking,my blood runs cold and hot i cant tell it right now but i feel like im going to burst
"You can't- OH GOD LILIANA YOU JUST WONT GET IT." My hands are caught in my hair
"What do i not get ? Tell me."
"NO! YOU CAN'T-I CAN'T. SO WHAT IF I FEEL SOMETHING FOR HIM? " im shaking tremendous from rage ,tears prickling my eyes. "He wont feel the same,he hates me you know? And liliana. Iglesias derek is a cruel man, he has no feeling and even if me,his fiancee would have feelings for him he wouldn't care. " i sit back down slowly next to her as i shake and look at the floor
"Thats why i don't..thats why i train myself not to fall for him and this is going to go just fine. I won't fall for him and i wont get hurt"
She rubs my back and pull me in a brace. She hugs me as she rest her face on my shoulder "dont push yourself too hard Elvira its okay, breathe everything is fine"
I nod multiple times ,choking on my naive tears. A car sound , a creek of a door echoing from downstairs, echos of footsteps, he's here. He gently knocks
"Fuckk go in the bathroom I'll handle this"
Liliana whispers to me as she helps me get up and go in the bathroom. I lock the door for no reaskn and i hear liliana opening the door for him
"uh hello ?" " where is Elvira "
"Oh Elviraaa ,shes in the bathroom , is everything okay?" "She isn't hurt or anything?" "No!why would she be?"
I cant no lomger hear what they are saying i can only hear muffled voices now.
I wait for liliana to finish and tell me to get out now, i sit on the floor waiting.
He's not cruel. What i said to liliana about him upsets me , hes not cruel at all he has such a warm heart but he wants to hide it.
He freezes his heart from the outside but the inside is only warmness.
They other things i said to liliana was true, i don't love him ,no not like that ,i want to know more about him . More and mkre and find out what hes hiding and what hes afraid off,who are his enemies, where he was born, wha hes done,how many exactly people did he kill and whats his favorite color.
I don't love him just yet.
A sharp knock on the door interrups my thoughts and liliana whispers " you can get out now" i get up amd unlock the door amd when she sees me she gasps
"Mija your face is covered in mascara you haven't washed your face yet?!"
See,i even forgot to wash my face
I turn back around and wash my face with cold water and take a deep breath,look in the mirror, then away and i leave the bathroom.
"Yeah you look better now " i reply to her with smile " "im sorry but he was asking heavily about you" "he was!?" My face breaks "yeah...he thoight you got injured from something or someone because you went out " "thats funny" i scoff "he thinks that if i breath too hard my ribs might break" she drops her head in her hand and shakes her head.
...
I am in the livingroom sitting on a couch, romeo's and liliana's voices are filling the room ,meanwhile me and igkesias are quiet. I mean i laugh at their jokes but Iglesias hasn't shown a emotion or said a word. I can't help but look a him when hes not looking, studding him closely,his eyes are filled with frustration,but his face is calm and his breathing tell me that hes calmed down but his eyes don't. He catches me looking at him and i look away , he stares at me for a while and I feel like hes taking all of oxygen away. He looks away.
And i look again . Only for him to look back and this time i don't look away,I look at him knowing that he's seeing me , he gestures with his finger to come next to him and he looks even more frustrated. I don't wanna go but at the same time i do. I get up slowly and head over there and sink into the couch right besides me ,I cross my arms over my chest and stare across the room waiting for him to speak up first,but all I hear is Liliana laughing at Romeo . She gets along pretty well with Romeo, they get along so good it's almost cute ,I didn't expect them to become friends but here they are .
"Where were you". His voice lingers into my mind and my ears ,cold and sharp no hidden warmth into the tone. "Out ,flower store ." "mhm,what happened?" He's still not looking at me. "Nothing,we just came back home.". He shuts his eyes and grits his teeth and looks at me , there's a fire in his eyes, hes furios , frustration on his shoulders I don't know what got over him. "Can you not fucking lie to me ?" He chokes out those words in such frustrated tone. He's really angry.
I haven't even talked to him that much today so how could I possibly lie to him? I am not lying about where I went or what happened he's awaking a rage inside of me that is not so welcoming. "I am not,lying to you". "why the fuck were you crying then ?" He has a disgusted expression as he says that ,and now he's louder , and I don't know if he's shouting at me but he clearly is and Im just in denial ,but it's true here , he's shouting at me for crying. He heard me cry in the room when he came by and he sure did hear me get into the bathroom. I don't know what to tell him I don't know why I should even tell him about this it isn't his business!
"You're invading my privacy". I mumble deadly as I look down tears already dancing fastly in my eyes and I get ready to get up and leave ,my vision blury and I can see my lashes I need to run I need to breath I need to lock myself in something,any room , I need to be alone ,but I never get what I want. He grabs my wrist frantically before I could even had a chance to run away ,he holds into my wrist tight and his face is in shock. He must be saying "i cant believe she chose to run away from me!". He stands up and his face cringes at my actions. "No." He says. "No this isn't happening no!". "what is not happening Iglesias tell me !". "you can't just keep stuff from me like that ,you can't just run away from me like that NO." he shouted at me but I didn't flinch. My breath just came out too fast and I need to catch I Lt and out in back into my lungs and bite down a breath and as I do-my chest trembles and it shakes and falls back down and my eyes widen as I look at him , disgusted. " Like you would care." I spit out he looks at me in absolute disbelief "what!?" He shakes his head "yea you can't even say that you care ,". "Say it Iglesias say it " silence "I SAID SAY IT IGLESIAS GOD DAMNIT" I'm shaking now really head from both fear and rage . I knew this was true. He is heartless. He got mad at me for not telling him stuff but now he can't even say that he cares about me. Pathetic. He should have let me drain out my own blood in that sink that night I wouldn't have regretted a moment.
"I can't ." He said it . And I nod because I didn't expect more from him . "Then don't. And d-don't fucking touch me" I say as sobs somehow managed to escape my mouth even though I buried then deep and set locks in them they still got out. Betraying my emotions. Liliana is watching. Romeo is watching they are all watching , liliana looks angry and stunned at the same time. Romeo is fed up . But stuck in place without saying any word.
I turn around and prepare myself to run .
."Elvira please" he says with both sadness and pure frustration in his voice. I did not dare to look back I ran upstairs, in liliana's room ,closed the door ,locked it in a fast motion so fast that it hurt y fingers as sobs are escaping my lungs to fast and my face is covered in salty years choking me drowning me ,i back away and my hands are trembling I back away until I reach her bed and kneel down on the floor and sit there. I pull my knees to my chest and I wrap my hands around them . Only to panic. Only to suffocate on my own breath or tears . My chest is getting really high as I try to take a breath but it's not enough.
I was too dumb to think that Iglesias was a little misunderstood, because he can be vicious at times, no not times, the whole time . He just plays along. Why did he do this? Why did he choose to get engaged with me?
And I try to avoid that thought but it's true.
This is just the beginning Elvira.
He will do things more horrible than this.
He hates you
He hates you
He hates you
If he hates me then it doesn't mean I don't hate him either.
It takes two in a dance but I prefer ballet.
I'm too twisted too see the good in him. Because I still see good in hi. But he does stuff like this that make me hate both me and himself .
I look down to my wrist and it's round red mark around my wrist like a bracelet. He didn't meant to hurt me no he didn't he couldn't he didn't I'm not even hurt I'm just exaggerating
I think I'm panicking
He can't make me hate him like this because this isn't me.
A/n: LONGEST CHAPTER!! 5,000 words and it's 5 am.