A/N: TW! Mentions of suicidal thoughts.
November, 1944
𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 her memories, and released the details about something she never wanted to tell anyone. Something everyone knew rumours about, but didn't really know about.
September, 1942
It was the first week of her 5th year. After a long summer at the orphanage, Daisy was delighted to see the wondrous halls of her school. It was becoming harder and harder for Daisy to spend time in the orphanage when she had two people to avoid: Tom and Mackenzie.
Well, actually, just Tom now. Mackenzie hadn't been back to the orphanage for the past 2 years, and Daisy had no idea where she had been spending her time instead. It was Mackenzie's 7th year now, and Daisy knew this was her last year to speak to her.
After the sorting of the new 1st years occurred and the students had eaten, they began filing away to their respective common rooms. The 15-year-old girl ran into the Gryffindor crowd, where she stood out like a sore thumb, but searched until she found a blonde head identical to hers.
Her hand shot out and wrapped around the older girl's wrist. Mackenzie gasped and looked back, her face draining of colour at the sight of her younger sister. But surprisingly, she didn't pull away and merely let her younger sister pull her into an empty corridor.
Before saying anything, Daisy just drank in her sister's image. Her hair had turned into a darker blonde, and she had grown long and slender in the past 2 years, becoming unimaginably beautiful.
Daisy swallowed with a dry throat, feeling a sewer rat next to Mackenzie. But then again, this feeling wasn't new with her. Mackenzie was always the pretty one, while Daisy was the cute, innocent one. Mackenzie was the clever and charming one. Daisy basically stole parts of Mackenzie's personality, because that's just what younger sisters do.
Looking at Mackenzie now, the blonde knew that even though years had passed since they were civil with one another, she would always feel the remnants of admiration.
She remembered sitting in her sister's room while Mackenzie spent long moments before the mirror, picking out every single insecurity about herself. Daisy couldn't understand how her older sister was blind to her own beauty.
"You haven't been at the orphanage," Daisy rasped, suddenly losing her ability to speak and forgetting what she wanted to start with.
"Yeah, um," Mackenzie looked anywhere except at her. "I've been staying with my boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" she echoed, eyebrows rising in surprise.
"Yes, we've been together for 2 years now."
"That's great," Daisy smiled happily. "I remember how excited you were to have one."
"Look, what is this about Daisy?" Mackenzie said in a tired voice, passing a hand over her face. "I'm have Prefect duties to get to."
"What is this about?" her brows furrowed in a tired manner. "This is just me trying to talk to my own sister. Is that too much to ask for?"
"Look, sisters grow apart okay–"
"No, that is not what happened!" the younger witch shouted, anger starting to sizzle within her. "You pushed me away. This was no something we did. It's something you did. Only because of your prejudice for Slytherins!"
"It wasn't for Slytherins, it was for you!" Mackenzie yelled back. "I saw you change right before my eyes, from the second you befriended Riddle! I wasn't even surprised when you landed in Slytherin, with him."
"What does that even mean?!"
"It means that you have something evil in you, like him. There's something wrong with you, Daisy. And the worst part is, you've had it in you your whole life, he just managed to pull it out more."
Daisy breath caught inside her throat. She knew exactly what Mackenzie was talking about. The darkness. The feeling in her gut when she angry at someone, really angry. She didn't want to find what would happen if she didn't cover up the feeling with goodness.
But to have her own sister not give her the benefit of the doubt? To not believe that she was more than that? This time, Daisy couldn't hold back the feelings, and she didn't want to.
Her chest heaved up and down, and before she could register what was happening, her wand was out and she was pointing it at the girl she loved her entire life. The girl who now looked at her younger sister in complete terror.
"W-what are you doing?" she stammered. "Get that out of my face!"
"You think I'm evil?" she fumed. "Let me show you just how evil that is!"
Without thought, without a pause, without stopping to think about what she was doing, Daisy reached deep into her brain where a word was reaching out to her. A spell, but one she had never heard of before.
She spat it out, the name burning her throat as it came back, and watched as it shot towards Mackenzie. The older blonde's eyes widened in shock, as if she couldn't actually believe that Daisy had actually dared to hex her. She attempted moving to the side, but the spell hit her in the upper arm.
The scream that the girl released was so ear-splitting that it shook Daisy out of her reverie and gape at what she had done.
The veins in Mackenzie's arm were quickly turning black, the conundrum spreading upwards until it almost covered her whole arm. The skin was starting to peel and fester, and Daisy needed to act fast. Somehow she knew that the spell would escalate and span to cover Mackenzie's entire body.
She made a quick slicing motion with her wand, whispering a spell under her breath and watched with a nauseating look as her sister's arm was cut off. Mackenzie's screams grew louder as she stared in absolute horror at the severed stump on her own body.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" she cried out, her voice hoarse and oozing with terror.
While they had been alone in the hallway mere minutes ago, students were starting to fill in, curious by the loud commotion. The Kennedy witch turned towards them angrily and yelled at them to get the nurse.
She tried to cauterise the wound to stop the bleeding, but Mackenzie would not let Daisy get near her. Her eyes burned with hatred as she glared at her younger sister, filled to the brim with aversion and fear.
Daisy didn't accompany her to the hospital wing. She told herself it was for Mackenzie, that the older girl would want to be alone right now. But the truth was, Daisy needed to be alone. To process what she had done.
To process who she had become.
November, 1944
"They couldn't repair Mackenzie's arm," Daisy finished hollowly. "And I believe she has a muggle prosthesis now."
Dumbledore nodded gravely, his heart heavy as he took in her story. It was clear that there was something wrong with her, something...unnatural. But one thing was still unresolved. She had not yet explained how she got her scar.
He assumed the story she had just told was relevant to it somehow, and didn't want to ask, but Dumbledore was feeling quite impatient that day.
"Ms Kennedy, I am glad that you have shared this with me, and I want you to know that I hold no judgement or disdain for you. In my eyes, you are just a young girl who is dealing with something she has yet to understand, and then control," he began, and she nodded at him, slumping down in slight relief. "Now, I don't mean to be blunt, but how does this memory refer to your scar?"
Daisy looked down at the desk, her teeth biting the inside of her lip as she thought of a way to answer.
Most people would have presumed in the beginning of her story that the scar was something given to her by someone else, Mackenzie being the largest subject. Most people would not have presumed that she had given it to herself.
September, 1942
After Mackenzie had gone to the hospital wing, Daisy had ran to the Astronomy tower, praying that the fresh cold air would bring her to a calmer state of mind. She peered over the balcony, willing herself to feel anything but this deep shame and guilt. Pleading her brain to calm the storm within her head without other thoughts.
After a several minutes of breathing heavily in and out, Daisy knew she would have to force herself to release her emotions in a way that required a more aggressive approach.
She had read that pain was an excellent but last-resort method to stopping a whirlwind of emotions. It caused the nervous system to release endorphins as a coping mechanism, and was said to release feelings of mild euphoria, and even relaxation.
Palming her wand, she slowly took it out and aimed it towards the inside of her wrist. She muttered an incantation and hissed as the skin was ripped open, bright red blood blooming in its place.
For a few seconds, Daisy just stared transfixed as the crimson liquid pooled and dribbled over the side of her wrist, forming a thin vivid river of blood.
But then, small flutters of panic washed over the blonde, and she was quickly reminded of all the blood that had come gushing out of her sister's arm. If she didn't fix this quickly now, it would scar, and forever remind her of what she had done.
For a small second, just a small, stupid second, Daisy thought about how this would never have happened if she didn't exist, and that it would never happen again if she wasn't alive. How easy it would have been then, in her fragile and vulnerable state to pitch off of the astronomy tower and let her body succumb to the quick and cold death.
Daisy tried to think about any single thread that would cause her to want to remain in this world. Any person that tied her to this Earth. With a bitter laugh, she came to the fast realisation that there was no one.
Sure, she had friends, but they would get over her quick enough. She never got close enough to any one of them anyway, not enough to feel like their first choice in friendship.
Well, there was Gabriela and Anika, but they were only two people, a pathetic amount compared to the potential number of individuals she could hurt.
Daisy stood up on shaking legs, and inched closer to the balcony. With a rebellious surge of adrenaline, she hooked one leg over, half of her body hanging over the ledge. A burst of butterflies erupted in her stomach as she marvelled at the sheer drop of it.
A few seconds and it would be over. So fast she might not even feel it. And if she did, God knows she deserved it.
Daisy never really did get to find out what she would have done, because just as she was veering towards a decision, an owl cut through the misty clouds, flying straight in her direction. She lost her balance as she tipped over the railing, her shoe hooking around the balcony at the last second, hands shooting out to grip the cold metal.
Crying with relief, she pulled herself up and sat on the floor inside of the tower, shaking with the idea of being so close to death. One good thing had come out of it, Daisy surmised, she did not truly want to die.
Wiping her tears, she stared down at her arm and whispered a healing spell. She watched in dismay as the blood dried, but it was still too late, the skin had scarred.
And even though Daisy didn't want to end her life anymore, the memory of the scar would weigh down on her for the rest of it.
November, 1944
Daisy swallowed uncomfortably, having not told Dumbledore anything in reply yet. She knew that she still had not answered his original question, but she didn't think she would ever be able to tell anyone how she got her scar.
"I'm not comfortable sharing that with you yet sir, I'm sorry." she whispered. "But I think it was still helpful to explain my first real incident with this power manifesting within me."
"Yes, yes it has been helpful. Don't fret, my dear. You can tell me when you're ready," the older man concluded. "Why don't you come find me again when you're ready to talk. Or just if you're feeling those feelings again."
She nodded, grateful to have someone in her corner. She bid Dumbledore goodnight, as it had gotten quite late now, and walked out of his office in the direction of the Slytherin Common room.
It was completely silent as the girl walked back, and Kara was left alone to her melancholy thoughts. Today had washed up memories of her sister that she had dared not think about in over a year.
Settling into bed an hour later, she laid in the suffocating silence, restless with reflection.
She remembered that when she was younger, her brain was never fully silent, because she had always had some silly song stuck in her head due to Mackenzie. Her older sister had adored to sing, and was always humming a song under her breath that used to get under Daisy's nerves.
Now Kara wished more than anything that she had one of her sister's songs stuck in her head , at least to keep her company in the dark.