The story of my life is about to get very dark. Yes, even more dark than the current present has become.
At this point, one would be forgiven for thinking I had an alright childhood. Sure, I was kidnapped and yes, I am hated or tolerated by a majority of my captors. But I have a warm bed, constant meals, servants to wait on me. I live in comfort, which is more than I could say about my life with my mother.
But when I was a child, it's hard to see the danger right in front of you. That's what happened to me. I spent years getting used to my new normal, not realizing that it was all a mask. It was fake. I was learning to live with the fake life that is projected to the world. And I got away with it because I was a child and my siblings were not cruel enough to expose me so young.
But then I turned six. Still pretty young, but I was beginning to grow more of an identity on my own. I had already become accustomed to fights in school. Which was largely ignored by my father because he didn't wanna deal with me. I wasn't malleable yet. And I wouldn't ever get there before he lost me forever. From this moment on, my life went from a prisoner with comfort to tortured and exposed. This was not a life for children. But the problem was I'm the only person in the family now who's a child.
And when that's the case, the adults are playing a completely different game. And that's when you notice the disconnect. That was the case for me.
So I'm gonna go over a day I was not only made familiar with the concept of death, but also the rules in crossing Giles Clarke.
I was in my room playing with the new Lego set Mortimer got me for my birthday. Which I still wasn't allowed to celebrate. Elizabeth's rules. I was the only one home. Or at least that's what I thought. Because when I heard the elevator ding and the heels frantically clicking across the floor I knew my father was going to be interrogating some poor lady.
At first, my morbid curiosity got the better of me as I pressed my ear to the door. But I couldn't make out the woman's voice, nor what they were talking about. They were shouting really loud, the woman was screaming and she sounded desperate. It became too much and I needed to know who it was. But as I started to open my door the harsh sound of a slap echoed throughout the house. In an instant, I closed my door back up and went to my violin. I needed calm. I needed peace. I was scared now. Father must be really mad.
The screaming starts up again, but I just hum to myself as I play. Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine.
When the screaming finally stops I try to return to my Legos but a quick knock on my door stops me. I carefully look through the peep hole and see Hailey on the other side.
All my fear melts away as I smile and open my door. The previous argument I heard forgotten. "Hi, Hailey!"
She smiled down at me. "How would you like to go on an adventure?"
I yelled out. "Sure!" But that resulted in her putting a hand over my mouth.
"It's more a secret mission." She whispered and I nodded. She took my hand and the two of us quickly left the house. She was fidgeting a lot as we walked passed the guards in front of the building. But she calmed down again when we got to her car.
I was curious. "Where are we going?"
She clutched the wheel tight. "We're going to get Luna and Celeste. They're at a friends house right now."
"Are they a part of the adventure too?" I asked. "What's the adventure entail?"
She gulped. "Viktor is missing. I don't know where he is, but your father is worried. He-uh-he wants me to get him back and I needed your help to do so."
Viktor was missing? That didn't make sense to me. "Why would my father send you? Doesn't he have like, hundreds of trained militia?"
She shook her head. "He wants it to be a secret. He doesn't want anyone to worry."
I looked down at my phone, contemplating. "Should we tell Alden or Mortimer? They could help us too-"
"No!" She yelled suddenly as she grabbed my phone. "Your-uh-your father doesn't want his siblings to worry." And in one swift motion, she threw my phone out the window.
When we got to the friends house, the girls were very confused. Then we started driving again. We drove for a long time. I kept asking where we were going, but she never answered. I was starting to go in and out of consciousness. But as I laid back with my eyes closed, I could faintly hear Hailey repeatedly calling Viktor. Only to get voicemail every time.
We drove through the night, I only woke again when it was light out. "Hailey? Are we there yet?"
She sighed. "Almost." That made me happy. I would finally get out of this car.
When the car stopped, we were in some kind of desert. No buildings in sight. I wondered why we were there. The girls did too. "We'll be safe here. Until I can reach Viktor and his father can forgive him."
I was confused. "Forgive him?"
She looked at me and sighed, feeling no need to continue the act. "My husband has done it again. Gone on a bender. Only this time he messed with your father while doing so. One billion dollars has disappeared and Giles is on a warpath. I knew it was only a matter of time before he used me as a punishment. My children. I had to get off the map. And I needed you as extra leverage."
My anxiety was growing. "What do you mean leverage?"
She laughed. "I thought maybe if I had you in my custody, he would be less likely to kill us. I don't know how much it would work, but it was worth a try."
So I was kidnapped again. But that wasn't what my brain focused on. "You think he'd kill you?"
She shook her head at my naïveté. "He's done it so many times before. It's how he settles with people who cross him. Anyone who breaks his rules ends up in a body bag. You should know that more than anyone."
Her words scared me, because I could already tell where it was going. "No I wouldn't! He hasn't hurt me! I haven't crossed him!"
She sighed. "Not you, Libby, but you're a smart girl. You have to know by now." I shook my head as tears started to form. "Your mother."
I covered my ears and cried. "Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!"
She grabbed my hands and forced them down. "She's dead, Libby! Your mother is dead! She tried to hide you, give you a normal life, and so he had Alden take you away and then he killed her for sport. She broke his number one rule, and now she's gone." I started sobbing. "Did you think she was still alive? That she wouldn't fight like hell to be with you? Did you think she abandoned you? Mothers like that would never do that. And she already proved how protective she was. You would've seen her by now. But you haven't. You can't live in a fantasy, Libby. You have to wake up to the people you are being held captive by. This is not some cushy new life! You are in a nightmare. We both are."
"Hailey!" In an instant I felt my body move as she grabbed and pulled me against her. She turned me around so that I was facing the new voice. I saw Alden, and he was pointing a gun straight at us. And then I felt the cold metal against my head. "Hailey, drop the gun. This isn't you."
She gasped in desperation. "I don't have any other choice. He's going to kill me."
He shook his head. "So what? You killing a kid is going to change that?"
"I won't have to kill her if he just leaves me and my babies alone!" She shouted at him.
Alden's face was getting red. "All you're doing is digging your grave faster. Libby is innocent. Drop the gun and we can talk about how we move forward."
She was still frantic. "It's too late! Just leave me alone. Let me go somewhere off the grid. I'll return Libby when I feel it is safe."
Alden shook his head. "I can't do that, Hailey. Look at yourself. Look at what you're doing. Is it worth it? Killing a child?"
"Not just any child." She gritted. "His child. If he wants to save his child, he has to listen to me."
"Do I now?" A new voice entered the picture as Giles got out of his car. Her hold on me felt stronger. "Am I taking orders now?"
Her voice was wavering. "If you don't want me to put a hole in Libby's head."
Alden did move his eyes as he spoke to him. "Father...."
"I've got this." He said back as he made a hand motion for his men to open the back door of his car. Two of them pulled out Viktor as they restrained him. "Is this what you want? We found your deadbeat husband."
She screamed out. "You bastard! How could you do this to me?"
He looked very regretful. "Hailey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. But you need to let my sister go."
She shook her head. "The second I do, he's going to kill us."
"No he won't." He rejected. "We made an arrangement. He's willing to talk. But you have to let Libby go first. Hailey, I promise everything will be alright. Just don't hurt her! Drop the gun and let her go!"
She gulped as she stared into his eyes for a long time before making up her mind. She slowly lowered the gun and released me from her tight hold. I didn't waste any time running to Alden's outstretched hand. He held me close as I cried, letting out the fear that ran through me as he lowered his gun on Hailey. "You're alright, Libby. You're safe."
Hailey looked at me in horror of what she just did. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to live. Oh god!" She was crying too. I didn't understand why, I was the one being threatened.
Viktor tried to console his wife. "It's okay, my love. It's over now."
Giles smirked. "Yes it is." And with a snap of his fingers, more of his men came out to restrain Hailey.
Viktor was frantic. "Father, no! You promised! You said she wouldn't be harmed."
Giles shook his head. "That was before she threatened to shoot my own daughter. Tried to make demands of me."
Viktor shook his head. "She was scared! She wouldn't have done it. She was just scared! Hailey! Hailey, it's gonna be okay. Everything will be okay."
As they wrestled the gun away from her, all she could do was cry out. "Viktor, the girls!"
In an instant, his eyes went to the car. Where more guards pulled out the two small children. "No! Father! They're just kids! They're innocent!"
Giles showed no emotion. "I was willing to spare my own grandchildren, but after your wife's sickening display, I feel the need to punish you both at once." They shook their heads as they cried out to their babies. "Consider this a lesson. Do not cross me. I know your hearts. I know your weaknesses. And they are mine." I felt Alden put his hands on my eyes as two gunshots rang out. I flinched as I closed them even further, shaking my head in fear. I heard Hailey screaming in agony and Viktor yelling out to his wife. Telling her it would be okay. But then the last gunshot rang and Viktor's cries were echoing in my mind.
The next time I could see, I was in the car. I didn't want to look, but my stupid curiosity got the better and I dared a peak. What I saw shook me to my very core. I saw Viktor cradling Hailey's body which had a massive hole in the head. He was incoherent as he rocked her back and forth. He didn't look like the Viktor I had come to know. He was broken. And in the months to come I would learn just how broken he was.
He no longer would quip with Mortimer, or continue his feud with Alden for father's attention. Or try to be the mediator for Angelica's crazy. He shut down. He was quiet, only saying a few words a day. He had nothing left to live for, and yet he was still here.
I wondered for so long what could have been so strong that it destroyed his entire soul. But I knew what did this. Not Giles, even he doesn't have the power to do that. No, the culprit was simple.
It was love.
Love did this. He loved Hailey, he loved his children, so much it consumed his entire being. And when that happened they were so easy to be used by our father. Viktor had dug his own grave. And he was the only one.
I used to wonder why none of my other siblings had relationships. Why none of them had partners or children. Some of them are emotionally incapable, but for those who are the reason became so clear. It was to rob Giles of having those pieces. To use against us.
And that's what made me realize that sacrifices must be made in order to be stronger. Stronger against him. I had to give up love.
So that's what I did. For ten whole years.
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The holidays were over, but that didn't stop people from leaving up their Christmas lights all the way into the new year! Libby didn't understand the customs of lazy people, but she was at least glad it was over. Winter break was almost over which meant going back to school.
She was having a hard time seeing any joy in such a task. Alex was still in recovery though he was finally strong enough to be conscious. Tyler had begun seeing him in the hospital to keep him company, even though he wasn't in a state where he could cognitively respond. Jess still wasn't coming back yet even with the break. Sheri was still in juvie and it was unclear to her if the girl was going to come back to finish her senior year. And she was still not talking to Clay. She was waiting for his apology. He'd break sooner or later. In the end, all Libby had to look forward to was Tyler and she saw him everyday anyway.
So yeah, Libby was not looking forward to the break ending. Which resulted in her resolve to get as drunk as possible in her room for New Year's Eve. Tyler had declined the offer to join her only because he had to be with his family for the holiday. Which Libby didn't understand. This was the excuse for every adult to get utterly intoxicated, why did they wanna be with their kid? The Down's had some weird traditions sometimes.
Anyway in order for Libby to get stocked up she needed more of the good stuff. She kept her fake ID close in hand as she entered the familiar convenient store.
She was acting older even though realistically the cashier didn't give a fuck if she was underage. It's not like she was buying a gun.
Let's see, vodka is a definite. Perhaps get some fruity drinks to make cocktails. It's times like these she wished she had female friends to do this shit with. But Jess' parents still refuse to let her leave the house alone and she doesn't seem bothered by that rule at the moment. And of course Hannah is dead. Skye maybe, but that girl does not know the meaning of restraint and Libby doesn't wanna get blacked out tonight.
"Libster!" Her entire body jumped at the familiar nickname. "I didn't know you still shopped here. Long time no see."
It's been a bit. "And I have treasured our time away."
He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "Don't be like that. Listen, it's good you're here. I've been meaning to ask if you would come to my New Year's Eve party tonight. The guys miss you too. You've been blowing us all off."
The fact he was not mentioning their last encounter was very unnerving. "I actually think that's the last thing I wanna do."
He whined. "Come on, Libs! You don't wanna celebrate the new year with us? It's a milestone! 2018!"
She rolled her eyes. "And what's going on in 2018 that you think is important? There's a midterm that I still can't vote in, will just miss the cut off date. Trust me, Brycey, we're in for another nothing year, which I will take over a year as bad as 2016. The earth moved around the sun."
He groaned. "You're such a pessimist! Can't we enjoy all the fun shit that comes with surviving a whole year. We're gonna drink our asses off, play some pool, and watch the ball drop. It'll be sick!"
She squinted at him. "Why do you want me to go so bad?"
When he didn't answer, she moved to leave as he stopped her. "Okay, okay. So I'm inviting Chloe to the party but with Jess gone she'll be the only girl. I thought I'd ask if you'd come so she might feel less uncomfortable. Zach's bringing Val too so it wouldn't be just the two of you. I just don't wanna scare her off, and with those rumors about me, I want her to feel safe."
Libby's eyes were wide in shock. "So to clarify, you're just gonna pretend like I didn't listen to the tapes and know exactly what you've done? Worse off, you think that I would go to your party as a buffer so Chloe doesn't know the truth?"
He smirked. "Now you're getting it. Look, Libby, you can know and think whatever you want. You and I, let's just stay in our own little ponds where nobody can touch us, alright? Because judging by the way you haven't told anybody I don't think I need to worry about you. There's something on those tapes which means you have as much to lose as I do. So for whatever reason you decide to come, you'll make the right decision. We don't have to be friends, but as long as you understand that I think things are gonna be alright."
She huffed in annoyance. "You know what's the worst thing about you, Bryce?" He tilted his head. "It's that you're smarter than I give you credit. You're smart enough to know threats won't work, but you're not threatening me." He's threatening Chloe so she cooperates. Either she makes him look good or let's another girl down. "I'll go to your stupid party. But if you ever touch me like how you did our last conversation I will make you sorry I came."
So that was how Libby got pushed into attending a Bryce Walker party. An idea Tyler wholeheartedly disagreed with. He didn't care about Chloe, Bryce had hurt her in the past and tried to assault her once that they know of. He didn't want her taking any chances. But he also knew he couldn't control her choices.
So for the first time since the night Justin told the truth, she was standing next to Bryce's pool. The glow illuminating her olive skin. She brought her cocktail mixer because these boys didn't know how the mix drinks for shit. When she walked through the door, they all cheered. "Libby!" The guest list consisted of Monty, Scott, Taylor, Jamie, Luke, Charlie, Diego, Zach, and Val. With Chloe on the way.
Monty was laughing. "Are you seriously making us those girly drinks?"
Libby rolled her eyes. "If by girly you mean actually taste good then yes."
Val did not hesitate. "Good to see these."
Diego backed up Monty. "You don't drink for the taste, Clarke."
Monty and Diego high five as he laughs. "Girls can't hold their alcohol if it doesn't come with a little umbrella."
Libby rolled her eyes at their behavior. "Go put your dicks away."
Monty joked. "But the party just started!"
Scott nodded encouragingly. "You just need to power through it. You get drunk way faster that way." He referred to Taylor and Jamie, who were both already incoherent.
Charlie decided to back her up. "I do like something sweet paired with my drink. Which is why I brought us a cake to munch on throughout the night."
Monty groaned at the man. "Charlie, your faggot is showing real bad, and you need to stop before I beat your ass."
Libby threw a pillow directly at his face. "What have I told you about using that word in front of me, de la Cruz?"
He rolled his eyes. "Sorry. Charlie, this baker persona you have is really faggy and it's making me want to hurt you. I understand Libby doesn't like it when I use the full word."
Before Libby could speak, Luke brought his head up. "It is pretty gay, St. George."
Charlie's eyes looked down in sadness as he started putting the cake away. Val defended him. "Actually, baking is one of the hardest things to do ever."
Zach looked at his girlfriend. "For real, babe?"
Libby nodded. "She's right. You have to get every single measurement correct for every single ingredient or the whole dish could be ruined."
Diego was unconvinced. "Ruined is a bit dramatic."
Val nodded. "It's true. Especially for certain dishes. And besides the measurements, some meals are very sensitive to things like talking and movement. God forbid you try making a soufflé."
Scott was confused. "You can't talk?"
Libby nodded. "It can prevent rising, which gives that volume that makes it taste good." She put a hand on Charlie's arm. "The point is Charlie pulled off an incredibly hard task and should be praised. Because this cake looks perfect."
Charlie beamed. "It really wasn't that bad. I've been making this recipe since I was little."
Luke coughed out. "Gay." But he was ignored.
Monty rolled his eyes. "If baking is so taxing, then why do only women do it?"
Libby scoffed. "Because we're used to doing the actual hard stuff in life. But the real reason is that baking requires a lot of math and most men are too fucking stupid to get it right." She looked at Charlie. "Not all." He smiled.
Charlie looked down. "So do you not want the cake?"
Scott immediately launched up. "No, we want the cake!"
Charlie smirked. "That's what I thought."
That's when Bryce bursted in. "Okay, Chloe is almost here. Good, Libby has arrived. I need everyone to stop being idiots for a little bit so I can ease her into the vibe. Are we good with the plan?"
Diego laughed. "Pussy!"
Bryce rolled his eyes. "I really like her and I need this to go well. Don't fucking ruin my chances, assholes. And ladies."
Libby was shocked to see how many were willing to go along with Bryce's request. They really did love him. As Chloe walked through the door, Bryce introduced her. Despite her and Val knowing her from cheer. She was nervous. "Hi."
The boys just stared at her, wide eyed, their brains moving a mile a minute. Which was an exercise for them. Libby couldn't help but laugh. "Pleasure to see you again, Chloe. Monty? Diego? Is there anything you two would like to say to our guest?"
Diego just flipped her off as Monty cleared his throat. "Sup!" And more silence ensued.
Charlie tried to break it. "Do you like cake?"
Bryce cursed. "Jesus Christ!" He turned to her apologetically. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want them to be assholes at the jump, but this is just getting weird."
Libby nodded. "Can't argue with that."
Chloe laughed. "Thank you for trying at least. So Val, how long have you and Zach been dating now?" She took a seat on the couch as a Bryce followed her.
Val blushed as Zach wrapped his arm around her. "Almost three weeks now."
Chloe squealed. "That's so long! Are you two happy?"
Val smiled but didn't answer as Zach looked uncomfortable. "Chloe, don't embarrass him in front of his friends." Libby was shocked by her assertiveness. She's never been so direct. Zach was staring at the girl as well with a small smile creeping in. "Which makes no sense cause I don't see any of them with girlfriends."
Monty tensed up and got defensive. "You women can't cage me down!"
Diego backed up his boy. "Damn straight!"
Charlie shrugged. "I'm just waiting for the right girl."
Monty snorted. "Yeah, girl."
Charlie glared. "You got a problem, man?"
Monty shrugged. "Relax, man, it was just a joke."
Scott tried to diffuse the tension. "I'm also waiting, but I'm cool with doing other stuff while I wait."
Bryce smirked. "And who are you waiting for, Reed?" Libby did not like the way all the boys stared at her all at once.
This also gained the attention of Chloe. "Libby! Who are you with tonight?"
She shook her head. "Nobody. I was just invited."
This caught her off guard. "You're not one of their dates?"
Libby sighed. "I don't date."
And of course Zach couldn't help himself. "Didn't stop you at the winter formal." Her glare was very heated.
Monty laughed. "Oh yeah! Brycey, you won't believe what we saw. Libby Clarke was full on sucking face with. Wait for it....Tyler Down!" Everyone in the room started laughing.
Bryce was gobsmacked. "Tyler? Holy shit! So the rumors are correct? You're fucking Tyler Down?"
Diego was laughing. "That's priceless! I didn't know he fucks. Does he bust the second he's inside you?"
Monty smirked. "Bro, you're giving him way too much credit. I bet he'd bust in his pants the minute he sees her tits!" More laughter.
Libby was taking deep breaths to control her anger. "I do not listen to rumors."
Bryce decided to be direct. "But yes or no, are you fucking him?" She didn't respond. "Holy fucking shit, it is! Little Ty-Ty is getting it good right now! How long has that been going on?"
She was going to kill Zach. "That is none of your business. None of this is." Then a thought came to her head. "If that were true, wouldn't that make you all who've fucked me on the same level as him?" That stopped the laughter immediately.
Monty was the first to speak. "It's still a funny thought. How crazy would that be, huh?"
Diego nodded. "Libby and Tyler, fucking hilarious!"
Bryce nodded. "As if he'd last anywhere close to us!"
Zach stared at them all in disbelief. What the fuck just happened? They know what's going on! They're not hiding it at all anymore, and yet these fuckers are more concerned with being compared to the freak than giving Libby shit? That's their favorite thing. He watched Libby give him a triumphant look and he grit his teeth as he pulled Val closer. "Y'know, Bryce, you really shouldn't be talking about that shit right now."
Scott looked at Zach in shock. "There had to be more to what Justin was saying. Weren't you there?"
Zach looked at Libby and sighed. "I think it would be better for Bryce to tell his side."
All eyes were on him, especially Chloe's, as they waited for Bryce's perfect explanation that would exonerate him of everything Justin accused him of.
Bryce took a deep breath. "I didn't really wanna bring this up because......I'm really ashamed of my actions that night. You remember Jess' party back in September. Well, when I went upstairs I wasn't alone. Jess and I.......we both snuck up individually to her room and......we hooked up, alright? I slept with her that night. While Justin was downstairs. I never mentioned what happened because......I was fucking disgusted with myself. I was drunk and horny, but that's no excuse for what I did. I fucked my best friend's girl. I slept with her while the man I saw as a brother was on the floor below. How sick is that? I wasn't the only one who regretted what happened. Jess was mortified by what she did, and so when she couldn't keep it a secret anymore.....she told Justin that I raped her that night. It's my fucking fault. I should have stayed away from her, or not let her try to push me into sex. Justin was my boy and he turned on me in a flash. And now no one knows where he is. He could be dead in a ditch somewhere. Fuck! This is all my fault!" Bryce got emotional, but his eyes remained dry as not a single tear fell from his face.
Libby was enraged. There was one big storm erupting behind her eyes as she glared daggers into Bryce's heart. And as she looked at Zach the feeling was mutual. She decided to risk it. "So Justin didn't know anything before Jess told him? He didn't see you two at the party? I know I left early, but I'm surprised you were able to leave his side and he never suspected such an awful thing."
Bryce stared at her for a moment. "As far as I knew, he was oblivious. A part of me wishes it stayed that way. But I also know I couldn't have lied to him anymore either. But I wouldn't have thrown Jess under the bus and said she raped me to do it."
The boys stayed silent as the looked at their leader in sympathy. Monty was the first to speak. "Damn, man. What a bitch!"
Scott was quick to scold him. "Monty-"
But Bryce beat him to it. "I'm not angry at her. She was scared to lose her boyfriend. As much as she hurt me with these lies, I can't bring myself to resent her because I know how scary it is to lose Justin because.......because I did."
Chloe took his hand in comfort. "We don't know if he's dead. He might just be busy right now."
Bruce shook his head. "I pushed him to this. I pushed him to run away."
Libby couldn't take it anymore and so she walked out to the pool. She passed by the hot tub and with carefully fingers, ran her hands over the water. This is where Hannah was raped. And nobody will ever know that. Bryce didn't even have to give some bullshit story.
"Libby-" She flinched. "It's just me!" She turned around and saw Scott. "I just wanted to check on you. I'm sorry about everyone giving you shit earlier. Tyler's a lucky guy."
She squinted. "You're not being cruel to him?"
He shook his head. "Why would I be cruel? I barely know him."
She laughed. "Nobody knows him. No one ever gives him the chance."
Scott nodded. "I will admit he weirds me out a bit. But if he makes you happy that's the most important thing. It's what you deserve."
She sighed. "Scott, stop. I know what you're doing."
His eyes widened. "What? I'm just saying Tyler's a lucky guy to have you and that you deserve someone treating you well."
She carefully took his hands. "Scotty, listen. You're a really nice guy. Very good looking. You can get any girl you want, and be very happy. But you can't get me."
His face drops in sorrow. "Maybe I don't want just any girl. Maybe I want someone special. Beautiful, strong, graceful. Loyal to a fault. Do you know how perfect you are?"
She rolled her eyes. "I get told so everyday. I don't wanna be a heartbreaker, I never mean to be. Dating was never my thing but I ended up getting your hopes up anyway. But then I found this guy and everything changed. And the thought of hurting him in any way makes me feel like my heart is bleeding out on the floor. So no, Scott. This is never gonna happen. Because as amazing and kind and funny as you are, you're not him."
He looked so downtrodden that it was hard to look at, but then he suddenly smiled. "Really. Really lucky guy."
She laughed. "Yeah, he is. And I'm an equally lucky girl."
She left the party that night before it even reached midnight, and found herself at the window of the only person she wanted to see. He opened his window in a rush. "My parents set me free. What's wrong?"
She laughed. "Does something have to be wrong for me to want to see you?"
He shook his head. "Your texts sounded desperate. Not that I don't wanna see you either. I'm so happy you wanted to come."
She wrapped her arms around his torso as he leaned his head on hers. She smiled. "Bryce made up some bullshit lie about Jess and him hooking up which will be all around the school as soon as we're back and it pissed me off. How he could act so normal after what happened."
Tyler stroked her hair. "He's a monster, beautiful. He doesn't care who he hurts, all he cares about is himself."
Libby nodded. "I'm gonna find a way to take him down."
He smiled. "I have no doubt in my mind that you will make him pay."
So the ball dropped, announcing the beginning of the new year. 2018 was upon them. A new year to fix the past, right the wrongs. Make a difference. Libby made her resolution. Her and Tyler were kind of out, Bryce Walker was going down, and anyone who messed with Tyler Down, Clay Jensen, Jessica Davis, and Alex Standall were going to feel the fury of the overly paranoid and violent Libby Clarke.
Because if there's one thing she knows, it's how to survive. And from the ashes, she will burn down the world.
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Warning. This section mentions sexual assault of a minor. If this triggers you in any way. Skip to a further section or the chapter as a whole just to be safe.
Things hadn't been the same since that day. The day I was held hostage by my sister-in-law and could have died if Alden and my father were not there.
Viktor has chosen to express his grief at the loss of his wife and children in a weird way. Smoking a bunch of rocks in my bedroom. Yes, for some reason my room has become his favorite place to stay and get high.
He told me not to tell the others. They couldn't know he relapsed or else he would get in trouble. He told me I ruined his life enough and that I owed it to him to keep his secret now.
A year had passed and nothing changed in him. He was a broken doll who I didn't think would ever be fixed. I had turned seven, but I still felt like I was an idiot in the eyes of my new world. But something in me wanted to fix him. Maybe I thought it really was my fault or maybe I just couldn't stand to see someone in pain. In the end, it was my downfall. Trusting people. Something I learned to fight back when I was older.
But that didn't help me that night. The night Viktor went into my room and the next thing I knew my violin was gone. That was my peace, my center of home. I couldn't lose it, I didn't know where I'd be if I lost it.
My brother hadn't left yet, his car was still in the driveway, so with my small stature I snuck in the back of the car. I tried to spot my violin real quick, but I wasn't in time as the car door shut and locked itself. I stayed flat on my back as the car drove off. On the bright side, I finally found my violin. I clutched it close as I prayed myself to a happier place. It didn't work.
When the car stopped and the back door once again opened. Viktor's eyes went wide as he stared at me. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
But I held my ground. "What were you doing with my violin?"
He paused. "Now father's gonna think I fucking kidnapped you! Not that he can take anything else from me." He suddenly grabbed on my leg and pulled me out. "Come on! I'm not getting saddled with losing you."
I tried to fight it off, but he wouldn't stop. "I don't want to!"
He rolled his eyes. "You should have thought of that before following me!"
He clutched onto my arm as he dragged me into a large house. A bunch of guys in really smelly clothes greeted him. "Aye! Whatcha got for us now, rich boy?"
He looked down at me with a look that made my skin crawl as Viktor sighed. "She's not for sale, but I do got some good shit." Then he pulled me into another room. "Stay here until I'm done. Understand?" I nodded wordlessly.
At least I had my violin. I tried to play something to calm down, but my hands wouldn't stop shaking. But the little noise I made captured some attention. "What pretty sounds you make, girlie." I turned around to see a very dirty looking old man come in with several equally disgusting people walking behind him.
"Man, you're scaring her." Another one said.
He laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry girlie. How can I make it up to you?"
Another licked his lips. "Maybe we should try and calm her down." And he started to pull at my skirt.
I swatted at his hands. "Don't-don't touch me!"
One of them came from behind and started pulling at my shirt. "Don't be like that, pretty, we just wanna see what you're hiding underneath."
I started to cry. "L-leave me alone!"
He snickered. "The little lady doesn't like us."
Another whined. "Are we making you sad, pretty little girlie." And in one swift motion, took a clump of my hair to his nose and breathed in.
I wanted to go home now. "Viktor! VIKTOR!" But a hand clamped over my mouth.
"Don't be mean! We just wanna play." I was in a nightmare. I had to be. Sooner or later I would wake up and everything would be fine.
Except that's not what happened. Instead more and more of these dirty filthy men were picking at my clothes until I was in nothing but my underwear. I did my best to cover my chest with my violin case. But that only resulted in them taking it away. That's when they took turns spinning me around, taking every opportunity to touch my body. Then one tried to stick his fingers in my mouth. So as fast as I could I sunk my teeth down into the flesh. He screamed before backhanding me with his bloody hand. I was flickering in and out of consciousness, but what I could feel was hands. So many hands on me, inside every inch of my skin. I tried to push myself to get up but my body was screaming at me so I screamed harder. One man was on top of me, so I took the chance and kicked him in the balls. He doubled over as I ran as fast as I could. I didn't even grab my violin. I couldn't take the chance.
I ran into the first bathroom I could find and locked the door. As luck would have it, someone left their phone i there. It had some white powder on top, but it was still usable. I didn't know who I could call. Alden didn't pick up so I tried Mortimer. "Hello?"
I tried to keep my voice level. "Mortimer, it's me."
He paused. "Libby? Who's phone are you on?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. Can you come get me?"
"You're not at the house?" He asked.
Before I could answer, there were bangs on the door. "Get out here, girlie. We don't wanna hurt you, we just wanna play!"
I cried out. "Please come get me."
He was frantic. "I'm not the tracker, but I know someone who can. I'll get her right now. Stay in the room." I nodded even though he couldn't see.
I waited. For a long time. The banging kept going until I heard a large rummaging and a soft feminine voice was heard. "Libby? It's Angelica. Open the door." I bolted as fast as I could to open it. When my sister saw me she gasped. "Where are your clothes?"
I was nervous. "In the other room. With my violin."
She grabbed me tight. "Show me."
I was scared to go back in there, but she reassured me it would be fine. When we were back in the room, one of the guys looked up. "Ah! Blondie's even prettier." And in one swift motion, Angelica had punched the guy in the throat. He started choking on the floor.
She quickly picked up my shirt and skirt and covered my body so I could change. Once I had she grabbed my violin and dragged me to the exit. "Where's Mortimer?" But my question was answered as we got to the exit and my brother was beating everyone with a baseball bat.
She sighed. "Mort, I got her. Time to go."
I pulled lightly on her dress. "Are we getting Viktor too?"
Mortimer huffed in anger. "No. He can find his own way home. Or not. I don't fucking care." And he took my other hand as we left.
When we got in Mortimer's car, Angelica sat in the back with me. "Are you okay? Did they touch you?" I couldn't find the words as more tears came up. I nodded. She took a deep breath to hide the anger. "Where did they touch you?" I pointed to all over my body. She let out a scream. "What the fuck is wrong with him?"
Mortimer shook his head from the front seat. "He wants to fucking die. That's the only reason I can think of for why he would do something like this." He laughed. "Who's gonna tell Alden?"
Angelica sighed. "I'm not doing it. You're the one who brought it up. He's gonna kill him himself."
When we got back to the penthouse, Angelica had run me a warm bath, taking the time to clean me herself. When the bath was over, she stood over me until I fell asleep. I didn't know why it brought me such a safe feeling. My sister has been nothing but passive aggressive and rude to me since I came into her life.
But just for tonight, I got to see a different side to Angelica Clarke. And I liked what I saw.
Even though I couldn't sleep that night. In fact, I couldn't sleep properly for six months after that night.
Mortimer had arranged me to talk to a psychiatrist who issued me sleeping pills. She also talked to me weekly about my trauma and diagnosed me with PTSD and anxiety disorder.
This was not how my life was supposed to go.
><><><><
A couple weeks into the new year and Libby was spot on in her predictions that Liberty High would go right back to draining her soul.
Everyone had believed Bryce's story about Jess cheating on Justin and calling it rape. She knew Jess wasn't there to refute it but the way students so quickly took his side after months of deliberation on Justin's story was nothing short of disgusting to her anyway.
The monotony of this school was beginning to feel colder with the lack of her friends. Sure, she treasured every second with Tyler, but besides him she had no one. Zach was devoting himself to his first real relationship and she still hasn't spoken to Clay. That was changing today.
"Jensen!" She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into an empty classroom. "I'm sick of your stubbornness."
He laughed. "I could say the same about you."
She shook her head. "As always, I have to do everything."
That finally made his face fall. "Libs, I...." He sighed. "I do miss you. It's just hard to know what to say to make you forgive me."
She rolled her eyes. "You could start with an apology."
He scoffed. "Why do I have to apologize? I'm not the only one who ruined that date. Do you know how hard it was to explain to Skye why I sent the picture? She thought I was turning into some bully picking on the weaker man. She didn't have a problem when I keyed Zach's car."
She nodded. "Because Zach and Tyler are two very different people. Zach is one of the head honchos and Tyler gets shit from everyone everyday. The fact you started getting revenge by taking your anger out on someone who already deals with enough is not heroic, it's just cruel."
Clay rolled his eyes. "Even after what he did to Hannah?"
Libby scoffed. "Tyler was telling the truth that day, he admitted what he did to Hannah was wrong and apologized. He just didn't feel it necessary to go through you. Maybe if he had you wouldn't have done it. Is that what you're telling me? No. You loved Hannah, but this continued anger and resentment towards Tyler cannot just be about her. Nobody else on the tapes gets it like he does from you. Tell me the truth, Clay. What is it about Tyler that sends you into such a rage?"
He finally blurted out. "You, alright! I'm worried about you!"
She sat down, he joined her. "You still believe that he doesn't love me? That he's just using me?"
He sighed. "The day I confronted him in the red room, when I tried to get answers on Hannah, I found a folder with pictures of you. He had dozens of you and not all of them were posed. I freaked out and accused him of doing to you what he did to Hannah. That's when he told me he was fucking you. The way he said it, the way he flaunted you like some fancy accessory is what scares me. Did he tell you about that?"
She gave him a skeptical look. "Not in so many words. He also had a lot to say about that encounter. How you berated him about his obsession with me, how he was crazy to think I would ever give him the time of day, or my personal favorite how he was deluded if he thought I would ever want to fuck him. How wrong and stupid that idea was."
Clay's eyes widen. "Libby-"
She cuts him off. "You'd think if he was just using me to be seen with a popular girlfriend, your first indication that we were together would not be almost a year afterwards. Or that the first outsiders to learn the truth would get that information from Hannah and not him. That you wouldn't be the only person he's told and only did so after you questioned not only his sanity but mine. Tell me something, Clay. From what information you have, it looks like Tyler is using me? But I'm the one who told him to keep it a secret even from the people he loves. I'm the one who pretended like he wasn't getting shit because I was worried about my popular friends getting suspicious. I'm the one who took his virginity. With all that, you'd be forgiven for thinking I was using him. Which I'm not in the slightest. But that doesn't change the fact that what I did was wrong. But you're saying that he is using me. Why? Because I'm a woman? Because of what he did to Hannah which has nothing to do with me. We are not perfect, Clay, but Tyler Down loves me. I don't claim to know everything, but I do know that. And I love him back. And you're supposed to be my brother, my family. But family is supposed to support you no matter what. If he makes me happy, that's all that matters. You don't have to like him, you don't have to spend time with him, but for the sake of me, please. Support me." She was in tears by the end of it. Her words gone.
Clay was listening intently as guilt rose up in his gut and a sick feeling grew. Fuck! This is the last thing he wanted to happen. He just wanted to protect his sister and instead he hurt her bad. "Libby, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry I made you feel like I didn't support you, I do. I just worry for you because you always said you never wanted to date and then suddenly I hear that you're with one of the biggest outcasts in school. It raised alarm bells that he might be manipulating you into doing stuff you would normally never do. But you're telling me, that you just fell in love with him? That's why you changed so much?"
Libby nodded. "Love will make you do crazy things you never expected. He's everything and more, Clay. But I won't gross you out with the details. Do you trust me?"
Clay didn't hesitate to nod. "I trust you."
She smiled. "Then believe me when I tell you that if Tyler Down was manipulating me into fucking him, I would not comply so easily. You know that nobody can control me."
He felt like an idiot. "I know. You're a fighter. One of the strongest people I know." He let's out a breath. "Seriously, Libs? Tyler?"
She laughed. "It could've been worse. It could have been Monty or Bryce."
He cringed. "You'd never fall in love with guys like that. And I guess Tyler is not a guy like that. He's different. And I don't like that different. But you do. And I love you."
She laughed. "Now you're getting it! Does this mean we can leave this messy chapter behind us? Can you be chill about everything now?"
Clay thought for a moment. "And you promise I don't have to like him?" She nodded. "Then yes, Libs. I won't say shit ever again. No matter how tempted I may be."
She gave him a big hug. "Thank you, bro. Thank you so much. I didn't wanna lose you too." He let out a few years when he realized what she meant.
"You're not gonna lose me." He promised.
They held each other for a few more minutes before Libby pulled away. "As much as I would love to spend the day with you, I need to get back to practicing."
He looked confused. "Practicing?"
She nodded. "For the recital tonight."
Clay's eyes widened. "The orchestra recital is tonight?"
She blinks at him. "Yes? Why do you ask?"
He lightly shoved me. "And you weren't gonna tell me?"
She didn't understand. "Did you want to know?"
He laughed. "Of course I did! I want to be there!"
He was really throwing her for a loop. "I didn't-I didn't think...." She cut herself off and shook her head. "I guess I'll see you there." And quickly ran out before he could question her.
The auditorium was louder than usual as Libby was helping set up chairs and stands. Others were practicing certain parts and asking the instructor for any last minute notes. When Libby had finished getting everything ready, she snuck a peak out of the curtains to look around at the audience.
She spotted the Down's first, noticing Tyler had something in his lap. She just assumed it was a camera for the yearbook. She spotted Clay and his parents next, Laine and Matt looking so proud of a child that wasn't theirs. What Libby didn't expect to see next to Clay was Tony. This is not normally his scene. What was he doing here?
But the biggest shock of them all was seeing Jessica sitting in between both her parents in the back row. She looked excited yet scared to be around this many people again. Did she come for her?
The orchestra went as well as it always did. There weren't enough students on clarinet to make a difference in sounds, but they all tried their best. Maybe if Liberty gave them any representation they could sound good for once. But Libby wasn't in the orchestra to sound good, she was there because her music has been her outlet and escape since she was very little. That hasn't changed.
When it was over, the first person Libby saw was Jess. She smiled at the girl. "You showed up?"
She smirked. "You might have mentioned this offhand when rejecting a possible sleepover and it hadn't left my brain. I can't believe you didn't tell me. Of course I showed up!"
Libby became insecure. "No one ever really came to these stupid things so I just stopped asking."
Jess shook her head. "Well, a lot has changed."
She turned her head. "What do you mean?" But Jess just pointed behind her. Before Libby could turn around a set of arms were wrapped around her tight.
"You were amazing!" Tyler picked her up and twirled her around with so much ease it made her blush. Why hadn't he ever done this before?
She smiled as she cupped his face. "Seeing you in the audience, how could I not be?" He put her down and gingerly pulled something out of his bag. She assumed it was his camera. "Get any good ones?"
He was confused at first. "What?" Then he realized. "Oh, no! I mean-yes I got some shots, but tonight wasn't about that for me. It was about seeing you." She blushed as he pulled out a bouquet of roses. "These are yours." And handed them to her.
Libby was speechless. She's seen friends and family of her band mates hand out flowers all the time, but she has never been given one herself. Her eyes started watering. "You didn't have to do this."
He shook his head. "You deserve them, Libby. You deserve everything."
She broke down as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. With the hand that wasn't holding the flowers, she stroked through his beautiful curls. Jess looked on in envy. She wished to have even a morsel of a relationship like that. It was breathtaking. Absolutely breathtaking.
Their hug was interrupted by Clay and Tony. "Libby! You were so good!" She pulled away from Tyler with a peck on the cheek and turned to her friends. "Though I must say, it would have been so much better if it was just you up there."
She laughed. "I'm not that good."
Tony scoffed. "You blew everyone else out of the water. And I'm not just saying that because you're my friend."
She blushed. "Thanks, Tony." She looked around at both parents and peers that all came to see her. "Thank you all for coming."
Clay nodded. "This is important to you, so it's important to us. And we're not even the only ones. I'm sure Alex would be here too if he could."
She smiled at the thought of what she had now. A family. A real family. People that fought for her as much as she fights for them. If she was shown this as a child, she would have thought it a dream.
And it was. A dream come true.
><><><><
I wasn't talking as much back in those days. After the night at the drug house as my brain associates it as, I had begun to feel less happy and more reserved.
Viktor had come home later that week with no memory of myself even being there. A day in the training room with Alden and Mortimer and he remembered.
He hadn't spoken to me. Not once. And I sure wasn't going to be speaking to him. Not after what he did. I wouldn't say I trusted him, but I at least had somewhere deep in my heart that believed I would be safe with my family. Maybe not happy or content, but safe. And he ripped that fantasy out of my head.
I hadn't seen Angelica either after that night. She had been so sweet and gentle for the first time since I came to this city. And as quick as she came, she left again. I couldn't figure her out.
They told Giles what happened to me, but he wasn't angry. Instead, he showed his contempt in other ways. Viktor was forcibly sent back to rehab where he was to stay indefinitely. But Mortimer said it would only be a matter of time before our father released and forgave him again. Viktor was special like that.
No, as of now my biggest problem has and always will be Elizabeth. Due to my several encounters with trouble, I was given closer proximity to her which she hated. She still hated me. It didn't frighten me then, but she sure did after a year of torture.
First was the razor blades lying on my bed as I would get out of the shower. And not just on top they were underneath the covers, pillows, the bed frame itself. Rosa had to deep clean my bed in order to ward them away.
Second was the faulty wiring in just my room. I had nearly electrocuted myself several times trying to turn my lights on and off. And my lava lamp almost burned my room down.
Third was the most upsetting to me, which was that someone cut all the strings of my violin. I was able to get them replaced, but the wood was slightly scratched on the back. This was my first violin and I had to put it away for good.
I didn't know it was Elizabeth at first. I originally thought it was Viktor. Mad that I got him in trouble yet again by making him pay for his own actions. However, once Viktor was taken to rehab the threats only worsened and I was starting to fear for my life once again.
The only solace I had was in the worst place, school. I could no longer remember why I wanted to be there so bad. Ever since Luna and Celeste left I had no friends to play with, and after the attack I suffered my patience had evaporated. Girls who found out what happened to me called me weird names like slut and whore. I didn't understand them or what they meant. But the way they were saying it made me feel like I was nothing. I hated school, but it was the only place I could escape the horrors of home.
I finally caught my step-mother in the act when I found her cutting up my clothes. I had enough. "Why do you hate me so much?"
She looked at me in disbelief. "Is that even a question, Eliza? After what you did to my family? To my husband? How could I not hate you?"
I shook my head. "My name is Libby! I'm not my mother! I'm sorry she was in my father's life, but maybe you should blame him also!" That for me a slap to the face.
She was breathing heavily. "Don't you dare blame him for your slutty behavior! You're the one who approached a married man and fucked him like the common whore you are! You ruined my fucking marriage!"
I stood tall. "I didn't ruin your marriage! He did my sleeping with my mom! I didn't ask to be born I just am! And if your husband had no part in what happened then why did he take responsibility for me?"
She was speechless. "How dare you talk to me, Eliza! You turned him against me! You turned him against our child! Viktor is is a psych ward because of you!" She was sobbing now.
I rolled my eyes. "Viktor is in rehab because he's a junkie in need of help. If you were a good mother, maybe he wouldn't be so fucked up!"
She let out a shriek as she tried to pounce on me. I quickly grabbed my broken violin and held it up in warning. Her face morphed into so much frustration as she slammed my door behind her. I let out a breath of relief.
I thought it was over. But I couldn't get any sleep that night. All I could hear was yelling and screaming from Giles' office. I knew the other voice was Elizabeth. I had no idea what she was telling him, but come morning I would learn.
"Libby, come inside." I walked hesitantly into his office. "As much as your time here has brought something new to this house, I'm afraid it must come to an end. You have encoded unimaginable grief onto my wife and I can no longer ignore it. This has resulted in her now causing me grief and I cannot handle her when she continues to act like this. What I am trying to say is that you are no longer welcome in my home. You will have to leave. Take all of your stuff with you as I place you in the hands of someone far away who will protect you."
I gulped in fear. "I don't understand."
He shook his head. "This is not up for discussion. You will go to live with my sister, your aunt Millicent, until you are of age to come back and work for me. Alden will transport you to your new home. It's a small town, I'm sure you'll love it."
I shook my head. "Why do I have to go?"
He sighed. "You have hurt my wife for the last time and I cannot deal with her anymore. I'm sorry, Libby." Why did that apology actually sound genuine? From him?
There was no debate to be had. Rosa had finished packing all of my things into a truck. She held me close and for a long time as I cried into her shoulder. I didn't know if I would ever see her again.
Alden was quiet as we drove away from New York City. Four and a half years I spent growing up here, and yet I still felt like a foreigner to the bustling place.
I turned to my eldest brother, the one I spent the least amount of time with yet ended up being the one I trusted the most. "What did I do to deserve this?"
He shook his head. "It's not you. Sometimes life isn't fair and you just gotta run with the current. Make an unsinkable situation into your own by taking charge. A little self sufficiency goes a long way in eventual happiness."
I lightly cried as I thought of the life I was once again leaving behind. Would I ever have a place to call home? "I'm going to miss you."
He blinked at me in shock. "We barely saw each other."
I nodded. "But every time I did you were protecting me. You've saved me so many times. You're a good man. Why else would you be assigned to look after me once again?"
He laughed. "I'm not good, Libby. I never have been."
I shrugged. "You're good to me."
He shook his head. "Kid, you have got to raise your standards a bit more. You're a Clarke. We deserve the best."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not a Clarke. Not in anything but name."
"And I think you're more like us than you realize." He rejected "In the time since coming here you went from a meek toddler to standing up to my banshee of a mother. Which no one has ever done, not even our father. You protected yourself against so much evil and justified that you are still here. A fighter in the face of those who would see you dead under that bridge. But you're still here, and some credit for that belongs to you."
I smiled at his words. "Thanks, Aldy."
He snorted. "Don't mention it, Libby."
When we finally arrived I was shocked to see the town. Giles was right, it was much quieter than New York. The houses were smaller and didn't touch the sky. Businesses were less crowded as well as the streets being cleaner. We stopped at one of said houses as Alden knocked on the door.
There was a voice on the other side. "You aren't getting my bloody teeth, de la Cruz! I don't care how big your dick is, I paid you back your money!"
Alden cleared his throat. "Aunt Millicent! Is that you?"
The door suddenly opened and a woman appeared. "Who the fuck are you tots?"
I smiled. "We're your niece and nephew."
She rolled her eyes. "Bloody Giles!"
Alden once again cleared his throat as he handed her a letter. "From your brother."
She read it carefully before dying me up and down. "He could have given me a warning instead of dropping her on my blasted doorstep!"
He sighed. "This was short notice. She needed to go. For her safety and ours."
Millicent snorted. "Elizabeth always was a crazy bitch." She opened her door wider. "Alright then, love! Come on in."
I looked warily inside as I turned to my brother. "How long are you staying?"
He sighed. "Just the night, kid. Then I gotta get back."
I nodded and turned to my aunt. "My name is-"
She cut me off. "I know your name, it says it in this stupid letter. Now come in before I let in more of a draft!" I quickly walked inside at her order.
The house was a mess, clothes everywhere strewn about the place. Alden scrunched up his face. "Not the safest place to live."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, I didn't know I'd become a guardian overnight, did I? Had you given me prior warning I might have tidied up a bit."
Alden rolled his eyes. "Somehow I doubt that's true. Where's your maid?"
She scoffed. "Do I look like some Hollywood Hills skank? This town is the rustic utopia of your dreams. I hope you haven't bred her in privilege."
I huffed. "I can do things myself." As I started putting the clothes in random baskets and putting the dishes away as Alden and Millicent chatted about my circumstances.
Millicent sighed. "Aren't you the little helper? I don't have a bed for you right now, but I got a cot upstairs for guests you can use in the meantime." I nodded and thanked her to the hospitality.
The cot was rough and hard, a paring must have been faulty because I slept on an air mattress under a bridge that was comfier. But I didn't dare to complain.
I couldn't read Millie yet. She was rude and uncouth, but wasn't being cruel. She refused to help me fix her own house, but she tried to help me. Sure, with the least amount of effort, but at least she tried something.
I woke up early so that I wouldn't miss Alden. I had a fear that he would try to leave without saying goodbye.
I walked outside to him before he got in his car and without warning gave him a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you."
He was stiff in my arms. "I'm not good with goodbyes."
I shook my head. "Goodbye."
He sighed and I could almost see a look of sadness on his face. "Goodbye, Libby." And he got in his car and drove off.
That was the last time I saw any of my family, last time I heard from any of them for five years. I never saw them in the flesh again. They were too busy with their own lives to visit. I tried to understand.
My time with them was long and exhausting, but it taught me a thing about life.
It sucks.
><><><><
And another chapter of Libby's life has passed on! And the last chapter begins.
I've enjoyed this little break, but I'm starting to get antsy and excited for season two! But for now I will bask in the cute moments and building relationships with those who are around. Stay tuned! We're almost done!
Written: 07/14/23