The air inside the room was humid; you could've blamed it on the English summer heat but it wasn't that. It's because Mason's hand was splattered flat on your back, his arm resting on your protruding hip as his head rested on the pillow closest to you.
It was difficult trying to hold yourself back from placing a kiss on his pouted lips, the pinkness a contrast to his light skin colour. He was a light sleeper, therefore, you didn't want to disturb his night-time rest - the recent move to Man United taking a toll on his health.
"Do your best out there, Mase, I'll be rooting for you." You said, whispering, hoping that he catches the words in his dreams.
"That means a lot, Y/N. Thank you."
Widening your eyes at his sluggish reply, not expecting him to be awake, you adjusted the pillow so you could see him - in all of his glory.
He squinted his eyes, probably, trying to adjust to the dark. It didn't help that the moon shone through the thin curtains behind you, just creating a silhouette of your figure. But, as soon as he started to make out the features of you that he really liked, he brought his face closer to yours.
"Promise me something?" He asked, eyes boring into your soul.
"Yeah?" You replied, eager for his next words.
"Stay with me until the end?" He said.
Biting on the inside of your cheek to hide your smile, "Who said you could get rid of me that easily, Mase?"
He offered you one of his small smiles, the kind that is only reserved for you, as he pushes you closer to his body - closer than you were before. His fingertips that pressed against your back burned through the cotton pyjamas you had on and you, then, wrapped your arm around his neck. The action brought your faces just millimetres from each other, already, being able to feel his breath on your lips.
Closing your eyes, you patiently waited for the kiss that it never came.
"Mason?"
The name slipped out of your mouth, by accident, and you found your arm laying over your eyes. His face disappearing from your vision as soon as you lifted it up, and took in the surroundings of where you actually were.
Nowhere near where Mason was, at least.
Sighing, you flipped the thin sheets from your body as it bundled on top of the person sharing your bed. There wasn't enough time to search for your bed-slippers, therefore, you walked on the cold tile with your bare feet - appreciating the shock to your system.
How long has it been? A couple of weeks since the break-up, since you fucked up and ruined the relationship.
It's t laughable, because, the guy you ruined your long-time relationship with Mason was still sleeping in your bed while you longed for another. For the very man that you betrayed - Mason.
You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, the blanket at the end of the couch, your phone and a pack of cigarettes on your way to the balcony. It had always been a sanctuary for you, a space in which you felt safe and could spend hours upon hours with your thoughts - without feeling restrictive.
The space was still clean from when you cleaned it earlier in the week and you could, comfortably, snuggle under your blanket as you swiped through your contacts.
Mase <3
You didn't have the guts to change it, so you left it as is. It didn't feel right that you changed his name despite not talking to him in a couple of weeks — ever since he caught you cheating. For you, it felt like a million years had passed as you began fixing yourself up and looked up to see Mason standing in the doorway. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hand, a bag of take-out in another, and a smile that disappeared so quickly as he noticed the other man in the room with you - fixing his clothes.
No words were exchanged during the encounter but you had understood the betrayal in his eyes — an immediate break-up. He didn't even need to say anything as he dropped the items in his hands and fled your apartment.
That was the last time that you had seen him.
But, he had constantly invaded your mind. It kept you up at night because you swore you could feel his touch, hear his voice and see his face. Until, you had to snap yourself into the unhappy present and, directly, stare into the consequences of your mistakes.
Blaming it on your guilty conscience, you pressed on his contact and the screen changed into one that called him. You couldn't lie, your heart dropped down to your stomach as you heard the ringing tone.
No matter how many times you tried to call him before, it had never gone through. All you got was the dial tone - you should've been grateful that he hadn't entirely blocked you.
"Hello?" His grubby voice spoke into the speaker, and you froze.
What could you do? You hadn't expected to get this far, and to think you had planned what you were going to say before.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" His voice seemed impatient, an edge to it over the speaker. "I'm hanging up now."
"No!" You yelled, wincing at your loud and demanding tone, "It's me..."
"It's me, Mason."
The silence on the other side of the phone was deafening. Never, in your life, had you felt that awkward over a phone call and one to such a familiar presence in your life.
"Y/N..." He said your name sternly. "Do you know what time it is?"
At first, you shook your head but realising he would not be able to see the action, you cleared your throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you this late." You lied.
He sighed into the speaker, "Don't lie to me, please. We've had enough of that, and you never do things out of impulse."
"You're right..." You laughed, sounding wetter than usual. "...I forgot that you know me so well."
"I thought I knew you well, turns out, I was mistaken."
The words stabbed and twisted a knife into your heart but there was nothing you could do about it - you slept in the bed with another man, so, you were gonna have to learn how to deal with it.
There was a few seconds of silence before you broke it, "I'm sorry, Mase, I'm so so sorry. I couldn't do this when it happened because you walked out and I didn't see or hear from you in weeks but this is something I felt like I needed to do."
"Is that all?" He asked, monotonously, as he breathed heavily into the mic.
"I'm sure it's not but I don't know what else to say. Everything else is going so seem like an excuse, but, I can't do that to you. I won't justify my actions or blame it on anything - I'll take full accountability for what happened."
Biting on your thumbnail, you waited on his response. There wasn't much you were waiting for, considering what you did, but anything from him would be acceptable.
"Okay, Y/N, what were you expecting?" He asked, rhetorically, as he huffed on the other side. "Did you expect me to say I forgive you?"
"No—" You began but he cut you off.
"Because I don't, I don't forgive you. I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did— Jesus, Y/N, you cheated on me!" The bass in his voice increased and yours, all-together, disappeared. "Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? It hurts, it hurts so fucking much because I loved you. But you trampled all over that — all over my love, my heart, and my fucking trust."
All you could do was nod your head as tears slid down your cheeks, "I'm sorry..."
"The more you say sorry, the more it loses its meaning. Y/N, I want you to know that no matter how many times you apologise, I'll never forgive you."
Hearing Mason sniffle on the speaker, you let out a cry you were holding back. It never dawned on you how much you had hurt him, until, you heard it from him.
"I know you've been calling for these past few weeks. I've had your number memorised—" He deleted the nickname he had for you. "—and I can see it's you. I've only allowed it because I knew I wanted to talk to you but after this, we're really over. I don't want to talk to you ever again, and this is our last line of communication, do you understand?"
"Yes." You said, hoarsely. "Yes, I understand."
"I really did love you, Y/N, I'm sorry that you didn't see that."
The line ended just like that, and you knew, that you had lost one of the best things in your life.
"I love you, Mase." You whispered, into the breezy air, hoping and praying and wishing that the universe could do you one last favour and send it over to him.