"I knew you,
Leavin' like a father,
Running like water"
──────⊱⁜⊰──────
"You get the cheeseballs?" Mateo asks Tk as we're prepping for our 126 night and Catan.
Tk turns to look at Mateo in disrespect "No, I didn't get the cheeseballs. Why would I get cheeseballs?"
Mateos's shoulders slump in disappointment and he whines out a small "Why not?"
"Because Mateo, my boyfriend goes to a lot of trouble to make us healthy snacks and provides us with a safe place for us to gather so we can at least have some human interaction in this uncertain age, and I'm not gonna spoil that with cheeseballs. Also, I forgot." I pat Mateos back in comfort as he leans down and pretends to sob.
His acting show is quickly over when he remembers the other thing that he asked for. "Did you remember the orange juice?"
"Yeah, I got it."
"Oh, you remember the orange juice,
but you forget the cheeseballs." He throws his hands up in surrender and looks and me with an 'unbelievable' look.
"It's not like they have all the orange stuff
in the same corner of the market, Probie." Marjans voice reaches Mateos's ears and he drops the subject.
Carlos and I are standing in the kitchen while Tk slams the groceries down on the bar. I look at Carlos and then shove him forward towards Tk to take care of him. "You seem a little stressed."
"Is it that noticeable?" Tk looks at Carlos and rubs his eyes.
"I noticed, and I'm pretty sure I haven't looked at you since you walked in." Marjan and Paul are both staring intensely at the screen as they fight to the death with their characters. Tk walks over to the living room and plops down in the chair.
"I had some trouble getting out of the house."
"Again?"
Paul takes his eyes off the screen for a second a looks at Tk. "That's still going on?"
I scoff and sit down on the arm of the couch next to Paul. "Please, it never stopped."
"Oh, if anything, it's worse. This morning Dad accused me of stealing his Naseberry Eye Exfoliant" My brother exaggerates the titles with his hands. Carlos brings his hands to Tk's shoulders and starts messaging them.
I shake my head at Tk's words "God do you have a death wish."
He throws his arm up to me "Exactly, but then this big argument started because Mom was on a call and Dad was too loud, and then Dad called Mom a squatter and—"
"Oh shit."
"Wowza"
"And then blamed Dad for me getting shot, and then I just left."
Carlos rubs his fingers through Tk's hair to try to calm him down which seems to be working. "I'm sorry, babe."
"So why is she still here?" Marjan asks
Mateo's eyes are now stuck to the screen and his voice comes out monotoned. "Yeah, doesn't she run a big law firm in New York?"
"Well, New York was rough at first, and like most people, she's taking her meetings online and she doesn't have to be anywhere. Plus, my dad got cancer. She wanted to come and support him."
"By giving him another tumor?" I laugh at my joke but Tk only looks over in frustration.
Carlos sits down on the couch where Marjan was once sitting. "I don't know. I-I've seen them together. I think they like sparring. They're pretty well matched."
Tk throws his head back and shakes it up at the sky. "Oh, there is no sparring. Nobody's wearing gloves."
Im looking down at my phone texting Myles about a case today at work when Tk interrupts me.
"But I think it would be better if I had like a sibling— like a twin that could help take some of this pressure off the whole house."
His mouth falls open in fake surprise. "Oh wait, I do. And she just happens to be sitting right here with me." My eye raises to look at him but everyone else's eyes are now on me.
Marjan looks at me in shame. "You haven't been over to see your mom and dad together yet? It's been four months." I set my phone down and look at her and roll my eyes.
"I have been over multiple times."
Tk cuts me off "three"
"You done? Okay, I have been over there on multiple occasions, and I'm always there when Cap has an appointment."
"But you leave almost immediately after." My brown eyes reach Tk's but are filled with guilt and bitterness. It's silent for a few seconds before Tk speaks out again.
"I just think that maybe one time, you can come over for a long period of time and take some of the tension off Mom and Dad and move it to you and Dad." I look at my brother with my eyes wide and my mouth gaping.
"You wanna use me to ease the tension off of Mom and onto me? Is that what I'm hearing." The whole room is silent except Tk and I but Mateo is quick to ruin it.
"No offense Raya, but you do have some problems to sort out with him. Why not do it when your moms here."
Paul backs up Mateos's statement. "Mateo is right. I haven't heard you call him 'dad' in months. It's always Cap or Captain, or him." I look over to the whole room and look at every one individually.
"Fine, but you're staying the night too." I point to Tk and then stand up to go to the kitchen. Tk exhales a deep breath of stress and relaxes.
"I could use a cheeseball right now," I mutter as I pour a glass of orange juice into a cup.
"Yeah, I heard that," Tk yells out and shakes his head.
"Alright, who's ready for Catan?" Carlos jumps up and everyone cheers.
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Tk and I are standing at the door waiting for someone to answer it. My heart is beating at the speed of lightning, and I'm not even sure why. I've seen both of them together before but I never really stay to watch.
I turn to look at Tk "I'm sorry, Teek. You should not be carrying all this weight of the two of them, I should be here more."
Tk is about to talk but the door swings open revealing my mom.
His face brightens as she sees the two of us standing there.
"Awe, my precious twins, oh I missed seeing my babies together. Raya I haven't seen you in so long baby." She opens the door wider and waves us in.
"Mom I was here like 3 weeks ago." She pulls both of us inside up and then pats both of our cheeks in sync.
"3 weeks too long." She scolds me. She walks in between us and makes her way into the kitchen where the computer is set up and my dad is leaning over staring at him.
"Owen, we still have 3 minutes till it starts you're gonna hurt your eyes staring at it that close." My dad rolls his eyes but leans back and stands up straight to look at the two of us. His eyes trace mine and then I look away and walk towards Mom.
"Mom, Tk, and I were thinking about staying the night tonight if that okay? We thought we could watch a movie and make cookies." My mom spins around and looks at me with a huge smile on her face.
"Well it doesn't matter to me, but you need to ask your father because it's his house." I stare at my mom for a few seconds and lean back on the bar in annoyance.
"Or you could just say yes for him." I hear a short warning cough from my brother behind me and take a deep breath in through my nose and out mouth and turn to my dad.
"Can we stay the night here tonight?" My voice is short and colorless, while my eyes stare at my dad's eyes with no emotion.
He stares at me for a second before shrugging his shoulders and leaning back down. "Doesn't matter to me."
I look at my brother in success but I can see the irritation lacing his eyes.
"Alright it's loading, gather round. Come on hurry."
I make my way to the open computer screen and lean against the bar just like my brother is doing.
"Strands, Hi. How is everyone?" We all mutter a good or a well.
"Now, it's been a month since you finished
your last round of immunotherapy, and it's at this point we can begin determining
the efficacy of your overall cancer treatment plan."
"That's doctor speak for, "Did any of this stuff work?" My dad speaks to all of us.
"Now, I won't keep you in suspense. Your blood work and your pulmonary function tests look good, but the CT scan is the real bellwether. Looking them over, what I'm seeing here is...Frankly, it's not..." The screen freezes causing the sound to lag out and skip.
"Oh, God."
"Hey. No, no, no. Come on, come on. No. Hey." My brother is slamming his finger into a button on the keyboard to try and get it to unfreeze.
"Ughhh, screw you covid."
The screen unfreezes and the sound returns "The gravity of this, we usually recommend counseling."
Our faces all drop and sadness leaks into our bodies.
"Uh, so it's... so it's bad? My cancer spread?"
The doctor looks at us and then shakes her head. "What
"What?"
"What? Shoot! Wait, did I freeze?"
"Yes, yes! You freaking froze! We didn't hear the whole..." My mother yells out to the computer screen that holds the doctor's shocked face.
"Oh, I am so sorry. Technology has allowed me to make house calls, but it has been hell on my bedside manner sometimes. No, no, your cancer has not spread. Your tumor has been reduced
by 73%. Captain Strand, your lung cancer
is officially in remission." I look up to Tk in happiness and then to my dad.
"I'm sorry, but what were you saying about counseling?" My dad shows only slight excitement and continues talking to the doctor.
"Well, because sometimes good news is just as difficult to process as the bad news."
I lean over to the computer more and speak to the doctor. "Are you saying that— That he's cured?"
"Mm, he's in good shape. We could even do a wedge resection surgery soon to remove the tumor completely. Captain Strand, you're going to get your life back."
The whole room is gobsmacked with the great news. "Wow, um..."
"Wow, indeed. Go, why don't you take some time to celebrate? We will get another visit on the books to discuss further steps." My dad rubs his mouth with his hand and rests his other hand on his waist.
"Thank you. Thank you so much, Dr. Jacobs." The telecall ends and my dad shuts the computer.
"Oh, my God. Dad, that's amazing. Everybody at the firehouse is gonna freak out!" Tk jumps up and hugs my dad.
My dad lightly laughs and pushes him off "Look, let's just— Let's just hold off a beat,
'cause I wanna get a second opinion. And I don't wanna do an end zone dance and have the ref call the playback."
"Whatever you say. You did it!" Mom claps my dad on the back and then he swivels his head over to look at me.
My head is so filled with emotion that I stutter over my words.
"Oh wow Dad, this is— wow. Oh my god." The tension between us slightly dissolves as we hug but is still resting between us. Tk walks away and I can hear him celebrating around the corner. I lift my body and sit on the corner edge of the counter.
"You know this is good news, right?" My mother is the next to hug my dad and the hug is a little longer than usual.
"The best."
"I'm so proud of you, Owen. The way you fought through those last rounds of chemo.
You never complained, you never felt sorry for yourself." My mom rests both of her palms on my dad's face and tilts her head to look at him.
"It'd be hard to complain to the woman who's holding your barf bag. Thank you. Thank you."
"No, you did this. You did this. You were so strong. I knew it would turn out well today. I knew you'd beat this!" I can tell my mom's words are leaning up to something bigger.
"Mm-hmm."
"Which is why I, um... I bought a ticket
out to New York for Saturday."
My dad narrows his eyes at her and sadness fills his body.
"You know, TK's gunshot wound healed a long time ago and now you're in the clear,
so I feel like it's time that I get out of your perfectly coiffed hair."
"Well, um—it has been a pleasure
sheltering in place with you." My mom smiles and ruffles my dad's messy hair.
"But I do have one more request before I leave."
My dad nods his head at my mom "Anything"
"I wanna have dinner with everyone, and I'll cook something that everyone likes and we can set up a table in the backyard. It will be nice."
"Okay sure, like the four of us. Or like the team? Who?" My mom flattens her blouse out and looks over to me and then leans against the counter so she can see both of us.
"Yes, Yeah the team. And Carlos and Myles can come." I drop my head at her words and shake it.
"Mom I don't think that's gonna work. Why don't we just stick with the team."
My dad looks up to Mom and agrees with me. "Yeah, I think the team will be good. And Carlos."
I tilt my head at his words and pull back my face at the insult. "So Carlos can come but Myles can't. No, that's not how that works. Myles and Carlos can come or just the team."
My dad is about to speak out but my mom steps in. "This little bullshit feud between the two of you needs to end. It's about time. Neither of you can hold eye contact with each other for more than 2 seconds, and what I've heard from Tk and Carlos you don't even talk at work."
I look at my mom and shake my head. I hop off the counter and reach for my phone and keys to leave before this gets out of hand. "Mom, he's my Captain. I have to talk to him."
My mother is full of anger now which draws my brother from downstairs. "He is also your father, Raya. So you need to show him some respect." She points her finger at me and I scoff.
"I need to respect him? What about him respecting me? I am 26 years old Mom. Why should I be expected to give him my respect but him not give me any?" I round the corner of the island and start making my way towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Dad stands up next to Mom. I stop in my tracks and look at him.
"I'm leaving 'cause I can already see where this is going."
"That's not what I asked."
"I truly don't understand you. Our whole lives you gave less than a shit what we did, but all of a sudden it's like you want to know everything going." I rub my sternum up and down.
"Raya, calm down." Tk reaches out to me to relax me but I shove him away.
"No, Tk I'm not gonna calm down, because I have a right to be angry. And I was trying to be civil at work, but you turn around and don't even give me directions on what to do, and you threaten to suspend me when you know you have been late more times than me."
Dad steps closer to me and Mom stands in front of him in case things go sideways. "You call me petty, but look at you," Dad says in a low voice.
"Where the fuck do you think I get it from?!" I scream at my dad and throw my arms up to the side.
"Now you watch your language, Raya. Do not yell at your father like that." My mother points her finger at me and then shakes it. "You two need to get over this hissy fit that's been going on for months. How do you think your brother and I feel." I look at Tk who is staring at me a far away look in his eyes, and then to my mom who is staring at me.
"Mom I will be at the dinner whenever you want to have to, but if Carlos is there, Myles will be too." My mom and I meet halfway to hug each other. We pull apart and I look at Dad.
"Congrats Dad, on remission. I am proud of you, and I'm happy. Really. And I'm sorry I ruined the day, but can you blame me?" I turn around and open the door and look back to Tk who is just staring at me.
"Are you coming or staying?" Tk looks over to our parents and then back and me. He grabs his phone and wallet and hugs Mom, and then Dad.
"I'll see you later."
I walk out the door leaving it wide open for Tk to close and make my way to my car. I get in start the car and buckle up. I'm sitting there waiting on Tk with my elbow resting on the car door and my fist holding up my head, with my other hand gripping the wheel.
I don't move from my position until I pull into my apartment parking lot alone and turn off the car. That's only when I move both my hands covering my face as I cry.
I sit there a mourn in my self-pity because I miss my father.
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A/N: this chapter was truly hard to write because I grew up with one of the best fathers in the whole world. He literally gave me the whole world and nothing can replace the bond I had with him. I miss him so freaking much, and tbh the grief never fucking leaves my body.
Also, I'm changing my updating schedule to Thursdays and Sundays so it's a little more even.