Two days in a row!? Who is she!?!? LOL, enjoy this next part!
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I woke early the next morning to my nurse taking my vitals and offering pain meds which I gladly took. Just as Colton promised, he was right here when I woke up. He slept through the entire ordeal, his mouth slightly open, only waking when the nurse began to help me get up to the restroom.
Colton was quick to come around the bed and take over for the nurse. He heaved me up by my armpits, seemingly the only place that didn't scream in pain when touched.
The walk to the bathroom was slow, and Colton continued to support some of my weight while the nurse trailed behind us, a hand to the small of my back.
My entire torso screamed with every movement, and the trip was anything but graceful. I had long passed the point of being embarrassed as I peed in front of the nurse and Colton. I knew they didn't care in the slightest, and Colton would have fought to stay and help me anyways, but it killed me to be so dependent on people.
When I finally got back into bed, 15 minutes had passed and I felt like I could barely breathe. Every deep breath felt like knives in my side even with the pain meds kicking in.
"She seems worse than yesterday, is that normal?" Colton asks, watching me clench my teeth through shallow breaths.
The nurse nods in sympathy, telling Colton what I already knew. The few days following an injury or surgery the pain gets worse before getting better, although it does worry me how hard it is to breathe. I already couldn't breathe from being pregnant, but this feels like a different ball game.
Colton nods at the nurse and thanks her, studying me again. The nurse also studies me, seemingly counting my respiration rate, which I know is high.
"Dr. Anderson, is it okay if I grab another set of vitals on you?"
"Please just call me Faye." I say, nodding.
It felt like everything was making my anxiety worse, and I genuinely couldn't tell if I was having actual breathing problems or a panic attack.
I closed my eyes and tried to relax as she took my pulse ox, heart rate, and blood pressure, but I knew my blood pressure was going to be elevated. I mean whose wouldn't be elevated after the shit show I lived the last 24 hours?
I feel the automatic blood pressure cuff release and brave a look at the vitals machine. I bite my lip as I take in the numbers. Blood pressure of 157/94, heart rate of 117, and shockingly a normal oxygen sat of 99.
"Well that's not ideal." I murmur, trying to keep my focus on my breathing.
Colton looks like a deer caught in headlights as the nurse pulls out her hospital phone to message whom I assume to be the doctor.
"What does this mean?" Colton asks, moving closer to me and grabbing my hand.
"It means I'm probably going to get a special visit from the OB doctor and some more tests to see if something is causing the high blood pressure and heart rate. My guess would be it's because I need more pain control. Since I'm pregnant they're going to work me up for pre-eclampsia as well." I state, giving Colton's hand a squeeze.
The nurse smiles, slipping her phone back into her scrub pocket. "You pretty much nailed it Faye."
I send a small smile back. "It's a blessing and a curse knowing what's going on." I say.
She nods in agreement. "Truer words have never been spoken. To go along with the eclampsia workup I'm going to check you over for swelling, other than the bruising you have. Have you noticed any new swelling?"
"Other than the purple and blue I'm now sporting, no." She nods, going over my arms and legs before replacing the blanket.
Colton only lets go of my right hand to allow her to inspect it before it's back in his hand. I can't even imagine what the last 24 hours have felt like for him. He's mister fix it, and not a damn thing has been in his control through all of this, other than the upped security in our lives.
I rub my thumb over Colton's hand, hoping to relay the message that this is probably nothing, and just from pain and exertion from moving around.
The nurse draws blood and takes the urine sample I had thankfully just given before letting us know the doctor would probably be by soon.
When the door closes I can practically sense the hundreds of questions Colton has.
"I'm going to be okay, I'm just in a lot of pain and these meds don't do much other than make me sleep." He nods, and I can see his jaw grind before he lays back in bed beside me, carefully placing a large hand on my baby bump.
"What happens if you have pre-eclampsia?"
I swallow, pushing the negative thoughts away before answering. "There's really no cure. They can try and manage the symptoms but more than likely we would have to deliver the baby prematurely." I say, my voice cracking.
Colton places my head onto his shoulder and places his lips to my head. "Whatever happens, we'll be okay. We have some great people taking care of you."
I nod in agreement. "What time are Andy and my brother supposed to come by?"
"Roman said they would be here as soon as visiting hours start at 8am., which gives us about 30 minutes." Colton says, checking his watch.
"You should go home and get some rest while they're here, I would wager they're going to keep me for another night or two of observation." I can already feel Colton shaking his head no before I even finish talking.
"I have clothes and shower stuff here, I'm not leaving your side." I swallow the argument, knowing him being at my side is probably keeping in from feeling the terror I know he felt yesterday.
Colton gives my hand a soft squeeze, a thank you for not fighting him on this. "I saw a glimpse of what my life would look like without you Faye, and honestly I don't think I would have survived,"
I let the tears flow freely down my face, keeping the sobs at bay to preserve myself from rib pain.
"All I could think about when Michael had that gun pointed at me was you and our baby, and how we never even got a chance." I say, pushing myself more into Colton's side.
"We get one now, and I promise you I am going to live every day for the rest of our lives thanking the universe for that chance." Colton says, wiping my tears.
I jolt as I hear a knock on the door, and Colton helps me wipe away my tears as the doctor comes in.
"Hi Dr. Anderson, I'm Dr. Soules. Your nurse told me you had some elevated vitals this morning so I would like to try some different pain medication and management and keep you here for another night or two. Even though you're not exhibiting any pre-eclampsia symptoms I would still like to test for it just in case."
I nod in agreement, thankful he doesn't seem concerned with pre-eclampsia being the cause.
We discuss pain management for a bit before deciding on a different class of narcotics and seeing if I react better to them.
As the doctor leaves, my brother flies into the room dragging poor Andy behind him.
"Faye, tell her it's not her fault and she needs to stop punishing herself for something she had no control over." Roman fumes, and I startle a bit at the site. I could count on my right hand how many times I had seen my brother this angry in my life.
My eyes move over to Andy, who looks like she hasn't slept in weeks. There's still some light bruising on her face, and she looks like the shell of a person I once knew.
If it were possible I think I would have heard my heart crack at that moment.
"Oh Andy it's not your fault, it's no one's fault but his, and he will spend eternity in hell paying for his sins. We can't kill ourselves paying for sins that aren't ours." I say, unable to hold back a sob. The pain from it has me seeing stars, but I don't take my eyes off Andy, hoping I got through to her.
Andy looks hesitant, and tries to pull her hand from my brother's, who just holds on tighter.
"Andy, look at me." I say firmly.
She does, and it almost takes my breath away. For a second I can see all the pain she's been masking, and this time I'm pretty sure I really can hear my heart crack.
"Have I ever lied to you?" I ask, pointedly looking at her.
She shakes her head no, moving towards my bed, and finally getting Roman to release her hand.
"This is not your fault, it's not my fault, the only person at fault is in a morgue. Living while blaming ourselves isn't really living."
Andy finally lets a sob free and moves to my side, carefully hugging me.
"It's over." She chokes out, and I swallow the lump in my throat as I hug her back.
As soon as she pulls away she's replaced by my brother, who too allows himself to cry.
"We're all going to be okay, and we're all going to move on together." Colton says, placing a kiss on my forehead.
It feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest, and for the first time in my life I don't worry about what later is going to look like.