Returning to Windhaven was far worse than Theia had thought. The moment they were walking into the home, Theia felt like dropping to the floor. Her chest felt heavy, her eyes burned with tears, and she realized she had never wanted to come back. Nyx had ushered her upstairs as she shivered and dressed her in his own clothes. Theia couldn't help but stare at the left side of the bed where her mother had once laid.
Nyx tugged the wool trousers up her thighs and rolled the bottoms so she wouldn't trip. He looked up at her, a frown on his lips. "It's a new bed. I got rid of the old one."
Theia stared down at him, her own lips in a frown. "Nyx, I don't know if I can be here."
He stood, taking her face into his hands. "Where do you want to go? Your home? I could come back to speak with Zen when she gets back from training-"
"No, I don't think I can be in Windhaven. It hurts. I never realized how draining my home is for me. As soon as we got here, I felt like my body wanted to fall and my chest hurts. My head hurts, too, and I can't catch my breath," Theia rambled, squeezing her eyes tight and sucking in a shallow breath. Nyx pulled her into his chest, his lips against her hair.
"You're panicking, Theia. I've got you, there's no need to panic. It's a new bed, a new life, and we can leave as soon as I speak to Zen."
Windhaven was her past. Every part of her, the good and the bad, lived within this village. It was as though their travels made her feel so light, the weight of reality was too overbearing. Theia clung to Nyx, trying to breathe in his scent. The sea, the wind, the stars. He was everywhere, but she couldn't grasp him.
"Come here," Nyx cooed, lifting her onto his hips and stepping back. He sat on the edge of the bed, letting her curl onto his body like a frightened child. She felt weak, broken. That's all this village ever was for her. Her fists shook as she held the linen fabric of his shirt, her body curled into a ball in his lap. Her lungs felt like they were a fraction of their normal size and the pounding in her head wouldn't leave.
"Nyx," she cried, pressing her face further into his chest.
"I've got you. There's nothing to worry about. I'm with you, nothing can hurt you. We will leave. I'll tell my father that he can come to me, we can go anywhere you want."
She wanted to believe his words but there was no truth to them. Rhysand wouldn't track them down. He would send Azriel after them to drag them to Velaris. She'd never be free of this court, not when she loved the male who'd once rule it. It would be hers, too, but she couldn't feel further from it.
Nyx kissed her head, ran his fingers down her hair. He held her so tightly, he was practically her personal armor. Perhaps Velaris wouldn't feel like this. Maybe it was just this damned village, this damned house. She'd been drowning in Windhaven for centuries, and now that Theia had tasted what other parts of Prythian were like, that wave crashed over her upon their return.
The front door slammed shut, the sound of boots thudding against the floor. Theia sucked in a breath, pulling her face from Nyx to look at him. He was staring past her, to the door.
"Cassian is here."
Another weight was added to the ones dragging her below the surface. With a sigh, Theia crawled from his lap and looked to Nyx. His jaw ticked, his hands sliding down his thighs as though preparing himself for a battle.
"I'll come with you," Theia murmured. His eyes snapped to hers.
"No. You already feel like this, and I don't know what he's going to say. I don't want it to get worse for you. Stay here and I'll be right back, okay? I promise," Nyx responded. His voice was thick, as though he was trying to make it sound much softer. Theia nodded. Her hands were grabbing at the hem of the large shirt, her throat tight. Nyx stood and ran his hand through his messy dark curls, a breath rushing from his lips.
Before he made his way out, he planted a kiss to her hair. Theia watched him walk out the door. His back was stiff, she could see the muscles fighting beneath the thin fabric. His wings were drawn in tight and she knew he was stressed.
"Oh, you're back from galavanting across Prythian? You look dark, Nyx. Did you enjoy basking in the sun?" Cassian's gruff voice sounded from where Theia guessed was the kitchen. She crept out the door, leaning against the wall beside the railing to listen.
"Zen wanted to see me. My father expects me in Velaris within the week, as well," Nyx responded. His voice was low, as though he was trying to somehow assert dominance. Theia could imagine his posture. She knew his back was straight, his shoulders back and his hands in his pockets. She knew his eyes were set on Cassian's, because Nyx's undivided attention was terrifying.
"I spoke to Az. You brought her with you? You piss off your father and decide to take a vacation and bring her with you? The one that started this all? Be smart, Nyx. Your father may have lied but that female tore everyone apart-"
"She did nothing. Theia has been tortured by my father for centuries. I brought her with me because she fucking deserves to see a few days of peace. Her life has been hard enough, she doesn't need your fucking attitude." Nyx voice was louder, and Theia knew he was speaking through gritted teeth. It was silent for a moment, and then a few foot falls from Cassian.
"Zenova is furious with you. You know she's going to hate Theia for being the one to take you away when she needed you."
Theia's heart dropped. She felt sorry for the young female. Theia had once needed someone and never had it when she was young, and it was devastating. She hated herself for being the one to take that from her.
"Theia didn't steal me away. I was going to leave with or without her. Do you know why? It's because I couldn't fucking stand to be in the same court as you, my father, Azriel, any of you! I was lied to for centuries. I almost killed the female I love because of some elaborate story my father created. And then you beat the fuck out of me and Az ties me up? You're lucky I even fucking came back."
Theia fell against the wall, her eyes wide. She knew Nyx loved her, but hearing him scream it at someone so close to him made it far more real. Her eyes turned to the landing on the stair case. Theia didn't want him to fight this battle alone, but she didn't know how to help.
"Do you forget I work for your father? I am loyal to him above all else. If you lunge at him with a fucking sword, I'm going to take you down. Heir or not, you were a fucking threat. And did you say love? Nyx, open your eyes. You met her as a child, you manipulated her as a child, and now that you don't hate her, you love her? It's not fucking real, you just want the control-"
Cassian's voice was silenced with a loud thud. Theia gasped, her eyes snapping to the bottom of the stairs. Trying to swallow around the lump in her throat, she crept to the staircase and down the top few, peering beneath the wall divider. Nyx had Cassian by the throat, the large male's back against the cabinets.
"Don't fucking say that. I love her. Just like you love Nes, and my father loves my mother. I would do anything to keep her safe, including tear your fucking throat out so she can't hear the shit you spew."
Cassian had a small smear of blood on his lip, feral eyes trained on Nyx's face as he bared his teeth. Theia knew she needed to stop this before Nyx followed his own words. Collecting herself the best she could, Theia stood tall and marched down the stairs. Both male's heads snapped to her, Cassian's lips curving up.
"Oh, look. She's wearing your clothes, Nyx. Is that another way for you to claim her?"
Nyx snarled, pulling Cassian forward and slamming him back against the cabinet. Theia gripped the railing, her wide eyes on him as she tried to convince herself to make the last step down.
"Theia, go back upstairs," Nyx snapped. His eyes never left Cassian.
"No," she tried to say, but her voice was a whisper. She cleared her throat and said it louder. "No."
Nyx's head turned to her, his lip curled like a predator ready to bite its prey. Cassian took the chance to shove Nyx off of him, straightening his jacket as he looked to Theia.
"You have been nothing but an inconvenience. What you should do, is go back to your home and let Nyx settle this issue with his family. You have no part in this other than starting it. Let Nyx finish it," Cassian spoke, his brow raised like a father scolding his child. Theia glared at him. Cauldron, she hated him.
"I am not here to make anything harder. I wanted to be here for Nyx, because confronting Rhysand is going to be difficult for him. You should be doing the same. He may be the heir, he may be mature, but he is still that male's child. A child that was lied to for more than half of his life. I am so tired of you and Azriel blaming me for this. I did nothing but try and change the course of every female's life in this court. Which, you should be grateful for, seeing that you have a young daughter."
Theia didn't know where that energy came from, but she was fuming. Nyx's eyes glinted with a hint of pride as he shot Cass a look before marching over to her. Nyx slid a hand below her wing, angling his body so he was still in front of her. Cassian's lips parted but Theia wasn't finished.
"I only made Rhysand angry, but he chose to lie about me to everyone. He chose to lie to his son. Why is it that Feyre still cares for me when the rest of you still blame me? She sees through his lies, but the rest of you are still blinded by your loyalty. I was not the one who started this all, Rhysand was. I am not the victim, Nyx is."
Cassian glared at her, and it should've terrified her. He looked at her as though she was the enemy and he was leading the armies straight to her.
"I won't say that you're right, because you still are the one on his arm when your name has caused a rift in a family that has never been angry like this. I will stand aside and watch what happens, but I don't forgive you."
Nyx stiffened, but Theia beat him to it. "Forgive me? I have done nothing to you, Cassian. There is nothing for you to forgive. You're simply a bystander who is far too angry about a situation you are not in."
Cassian's lip curled. His eyes narrowed on her as he moved to leave the kitchen. Nyx still shielded Theia from him, though he didn't need to. As he rounded the wall and aimed for the door, Cass snapped his gaze to Nyx.
"The one person who deserves an apology is at the bakery with her friends. She will be back soon, and you better apologize to her. She hates you right now. I'm flying to Velaris to let your father know that you've returned."