Cordell P.O.V
I sighed putting my face more into Cévon's neck as he slept in the bed next to me. I had my arms him and was gently rubbing his side as he slept.
He moved in he sleep making me open my eyes and lol at his face which was frowned up. I placed some kisses on his shoulders seeing him tense up before breathing hard.
"Cev, wake up baby. You having a bad dream," I woke sitting up as he ignored me and continue to sleep. "Come Cev,"
"Please...," he whispered still sleep making me shake him gently again.
"Wake up," I spoke again watching as he sat up quickly hyperventilating and holding onto his neck and chest. "Cev?"
He stood up out of the bed, but was too wobbly and panicky so he didn't make it far. He backed up against the wall sitting there breathing hard with tears falling.
"Hey. You ok. It was just a dream," I told him as he ignored me freaking out. I got out of the bed and got next to him watching as he tried to get away from me quickly making me grab him and look at him concerned. "No, no, no. Hey look it's just me. Breathe Cévon. You were having a bad dream ok? You were sleeping it wasn't real. Comere. Shhh I gotchu,"
He moved into my embrace slowly as I held him close to me rubbing his head. He moved out of my embrace and laid his head down on my lap making me sigh and rub his arm. We staid like that for about 30 minutes until he was finally calm and cleared his voice.
"Thanks," he mumbled making me give him a small smile.
"Of course. Don't thank me though. I'm doing what I'm here for," I told him as he nodded his head.
"Cordell, you not gonna hurt me right?" He asked me as I shook my head.
"Of course not baby. I would never. Why are you asking me that? You had that dream again?" I asked him concerned as he nodded his head.
"It happens so often and it's so vivid and life like. You shoot me two times and then you choke me out. It makes me nervous to be around you. Like what if this is all a game and you playing me. What if you still east side and setting me up. It's not like I would know and honestly I don't even know if I would care. You make me feel so good now even if it's pretending I love it. I wouldn't even care you hurt me. If all-,"
"Stop talking like that Cev. I'm not a back door and I love you Cévon. I'm in love with you and you know that so don't play with me. I'm not gonna shoot you and I don't know why you keep having this dream, but it's not a sign that I'm gonna hurt you or back door you. I could never hurt my baby," I spoke sitting him up and pulling into my lap. He put his face in my chest as I held him close to me kissing his head.
"Can you take a shower with me?" He asked me in this small voice making me nod my head and slightly pout. I hate that he's going through this. I need to talk to Cortlen because this nigga is insane.
"Of course Cev. You wanna go now?" I asked him as he looked up at me watery and red eyes. "Imma order us some breakfast too. You need to eat. I'm not taking no for an answer,"
"Ok," he replied sitting up and wrapping his arms around me hugging me tightly. I managers to stand up while still holding him feeling him wrap his legs around me. I carried him into the bathroom and turned on the hot water in the shower.
"You getting down? We gotta take our clothes off," I spoke as he shook his head on my shoulder. I felt my shoulder getting wet letting me know he was crying. "Baby, look at me,"
He shook his head again making me walk over to the counter and sit him down on it. He still wouldn't let me go making me have to lean down as he sat there. I rubbed his back kissing his cheek as he sniffled.
"I love you so much Cévon. I'm so happy I'm with you again. I missed you so much," I told him as he nodded his head.
"I-I love you too," he replied. "I'm so fucking sad bro,"
"I know baby and that's ok. This pain won't be forever. I promise you'll feel better, but it's still fresh. Today is Christmas Eve though. Do you want to do something? Maybe it'll take your mind off of things," I spoke as he shrugged.
"Christmas was my favorite holiday, but I don't really feel like I'm in a Christmas mood. Whatever you wanna do is fine," he whispered as I nodded my head.
Operation Christmas is in full affect. He needs a little Christmas cheer.
I took his shirt off him after wiping his face and took in how much weight he lost. I didn't say anything, but he crossed his arms in front of his body making me squint my eyes at him.
"What are you doing?" I asked him as he shrugged. "Why you covering up?"
"I see the way you look at me. My body is too skinny I don't want you to see me," he mumbled.
"You still gorgeous and I understand that you were going through something. Don't worry though because I'm gonna make sure you start eating again baby. I'm
not judging you," I told him as he stood up so k could take his pants and underwear off. I took my clothes off too grabbing two wash cloths and then stepped into the shower with him. I started washing up and watching him as he just stood there looking at me. "You checking me out?"
"Mhm," he hummed with a straight face really watching me take a shower. I chuckled and nodded my head as I continued to shower. When k was done with my shower he walked over to me holding up his towel making me chuckle.
I guess he wants me to wash him too. I made sure I washed him good before holding him close to me as we stood under the water. I felt him kiss my chest before laying his head on it and sighing. He looked up at me and wrapped his arms around my neck resting his chin on my chest.
"What?" I asked him as he shrugged.
"I...never mind," he spoke making me squint my eyes at him. He stepped out of the shower letting me go and dried himself off as I did the same turning the water off. I dried myself off and then watched as he walked to the bedroom naked.
Don't get hard man. It's not the time.
I walked behind him and quickly went through my clothes to find some underwear.
"Yo clothes still in my drawers. I didn't take none of yo shit out," he mumbled as I smiled at him grabbing my underwear out of his drawer.
"Thank you. Put some lotion on. It's winter," I told him as he handed me the bottle sitting on the bed naked. I out my bóxer briefs on and stood in front of him with the lotion and put some into my hands. I started with his arms and then made my way to his chest and stomach. He turned around on the bed laying down so that I could do his back. I rubbed the lotion in lowkey massages him as he sighed. "That feel good my baby?"
"Mhm. Better than at that spa Nori made me go to," he spoke making me chuckle.
I continued massaging him for a bit before going down as putting lotion on his ass. Cant have ashy cheeks. I watched as he moved his ass a little bit making it jiggle slightly. I felt myself growing hard as k moved down to his thighs lotion them. He moved his lower half up making me look at it and rub it. He was face down ass up.
"Can you help me?" He whispered as I sighed.
"Baby, maybe we shouldn't right now. You in a vulnerable state and I don't want you to use sex as-,"
"I mean, I'd rather have sex with you then do what I've been doing. I've been drinking and smoking my life away and you know addiction runs in my family. I'd rather be addicted to you than drugs or liquor and I already am. I just need you now," he spoke softly as I nodded my head. "I haven't waxed and I know I'm-,"
"Im not worried about you being hairy. Imma grown ass man my baby," I told him rubbing his ass before taking my dick out of the dick hole in my underwear and placing it in between his cheeks. He pushed back on it causing it to slide up and down his crack as he laid there. I tapped it on his hole a few times before spitting on his hole and my dick watching it wink at me.
I slowly pressed myself into him watching as he moved back on me whining as I started to stretch him out. It's been a minute. He moved back and pushed more of me into him pushing out and tightening up like eating me up. Damn baby boy. I pulled back out and placed my right hand across my body on his left hip and slowly started fucking him.
"Mmm. It's been so long," he whimpered gripping the streets as I gently smacked his ass. "More,"
I pushed my self all the way in him holding it there as he moaned loudly making his arch deeper.
"Yesss, Cordell," he moaned moving back against me making me furrow my eyebrows at the good feeling.
"Keep fucking me back baby," I spoke speeding up as he did the same clapping his ass against my dick quickly as he moaned out letting out a string of cuss words and whined.
"Don't stop. Please," he cried out shaking slightly as I rubbed his back pulling all the way before slamming it back in seeing my dick covered in white. I pushed it back in making him cry out as his hole and crack was covered in his own cream and juices. Such a perfect site. "Im gonna cum,"
I kept fucking him feeling him tightening up around me as he moaned out shaking more as more cream protruded making me moan as fucked him.
"Mhm. Keep making that hole talk to me baby," I said to him as I stoped moving while he threw it back. "Keep going my baby. You making me feel so good,"
"Mmm, d-daddy," he whimpered lowly making me look at him confused.
He said that kinda low. Am I tripping or did he just call me daddy?
"Whatchu call me baby? Who's ass is this?" I asked him tagging him in his spot. I know it was his spot because of the sound he made.
"Daddy. It's yours," he whispered whining out before clenching you around me and freezing as I continued fucking him.
"Let me have that shit baby. Gimmie that nut," I said to him as he continued to cum onto the sheets under him while his hole continued talking to me. Damn I love this man.
"Yessss, nigga," he groaned letting out one of those loud deep moans before hopping off of my dick breathing hard. "That felt so good,"
"You done baby?" I asked him rubbing my dick in my hand since I didn't get to cum.
"Yea...I'm beat. Literally. Did you cum?" He asked me quietly as I shook my head. "I'm sorry. Comere,"
"No that's ok baby. That was for you. I wanna be yo stress reliever. I'm good," I told him leaning down pecking his lips a few times.
I'd do anything for him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Next year we gotta get a real tree. I don't do this fake tree shit," I spoke as he rolled his eyes at me putting ornaments on the tree.
"I never asked you though Get off my tree," he relied making me chuckle. We had went into his basement and pulled out all of his Christmas shit and were now decorating this fake tree he had.
I was just tryna give him a healthy and fun distraction.
I had ordered us some groceries and had some shit for us to make a Christmas dinner and treats. Right now we had some big ass mugs filed with hot coco, marshmallows, and whipped cream.
It was a blizzard going on right now too so we decided to just have a nice little day at home. He was definitely smiling more even though I know he was still broken. I was gonna help my baby feel better. If this is his Favorite holiday then it would continue to be that. I wanted him to think of this time as a celebration and not something he should hate. I get that it was alot, but him asking me to take his gun was scary. I just want him in the best mood.
I can't believe there was a chance that I would have never seen him again.
"Now I gotta get off yo tree? I thought we were doing this together," I spoke as he shook his head.
"This my my tree and you talking about it. Be nice to my tree or get off of it. Yo side look trash anyway that's why you worried about a real tree. You don't know how to decorate," he spoke making me grab some tinsel and wrap it around him and pull to me.
"What was that? Who you talking to?" I asked him as he looked up at me.
"I mean I'm talking to you. Who the fuck are you?" He asked me looking at me up and down.
"I'm daddy that's who according to you," I spoke pulling him closer to me before kissing his lips.
"I never said that," he replied wrapping his arms around my neck before looking up at me.
"You didn't I could have sworn you did," I said back to him as he rolled his eyes.
"I say and do anything when a dick in me. I wasn't myself," he spoke making me laugh at him as he gave me a small smile.
"You so goofy," I spoke kissing his cheek. We finished decorating the tree and then started on our dinner.
A ham, Mac and cheese, and some greens. Something light, but delicious.
I watched as he grabbed the knife and started cutting up some onions making me stare at him a little bit.
I just wanna make sure he's good. He's worrying me.
"Why you staring at me?" He asked me looking at his knife staring at it now.
"How about you do this? Get started on these cookies and they better be the most delicious thing I've ever tasted in my life," I told him as he mumbled something under his breath before sitting the knife down.
It grew quiet as we started cooking our food while listening to Christmas music. None of this was gonna take too long and I'm happy too because I'm starving.
After getting everything into the oven I sat on the couch with Cev as he sighed leaning on my shoulder before groaning.
"I be feeling like crying, but I can't get no more tears out. I feel so numb man and I know you trying yo best to make me feel better, but I just can't get that image outta my head. Will it bother you if I wanna talk about it? Cause I don't wanna make you uncomfortable," he said to me as I shook my head.
"Nah go ahead Cev. You can talk about whatever you want to. That's what I'm here for and that's all I want from you," I told him as he nodded his head laying back with his feet on my lap.
"I keep seeing Itrez laying on that floor covered in blood man. It's crazy because even though it want my house it felt exactly how it did with Cash. Like it was the same thing. The way he touched my face and everything and the wya he smiled at me before dying. It was all the same. I felt that...this is kinda stupid, but I felt that maybe Cash had went into Itrez to talk to me in person before he dies or something. The shit he was saying and the shít that he did was the exact same and it really felt like I was talking to Cash. Like he was trying to guide me one last time. I haven't had a dream about either of them since it happened, but the only nightmare I've been having has been about you killing me. I don't even get it. And uh...you too my he knife from me when I prepping the food...I wouldn't do none in front of you, but thanks. It stoped the thoughts and you didn't even bring it up I guess to try not to embarrass me. Thanks," he spoke shyly as I nodded my head.
"Of course baby. I don't wanna see you hurt at all. I just thought that giving you another task instead of saying it wildly would have been the wrong reaction. I didn't wanna make a scene or anything and s decided to just give you a positive redirection. And maybe it was Cash talking to you even though you've said it spiraled that's Itrez was literally a crazy version of Cash. Man, I miss Itrez too honestly. We used to talk about our goals and shit and he honestly had good advice," I told him truthfully thinking how we talked about what we wanted in the future and how we called eachother sometimes.
"Yea...I forgot to say that I'm sorry for your lost too. I truly am and I know you didn't know him like I did, but having someone to talk to is important...you could try talking to me only if you wanted to though. I wanna know yo dreams and shít," he spoke making me smile at him as I started massaging his feet.
"Well I really Wanna be a therapist for kids and teens or like a counselor or something. A lot of people have the problems, issues, and trauma that they do now from not properly dealing with it when they were younger. Now of course me being one wouldn't guarantee that could solve everyone's problem or that I would get a bunch of clients , but I would like to at least try and help the issues at hand. I like to help people and seeing how our childhoods went maybe if we had some therapy we wouldn't have ended up on the word that we did," I told him as he nodded his head.
"You know what's crazy though? As much bad shit happened to me it all led me to you so I don't regret shit happening. Of course I want my brother to be alive, but I love you and shít had to happen for us to meet. I really love you Cordell and I hope we spend eternity together," he spoke moving over to me so that he was sitting on my lap and then pecked my lips.
"I love you too baby and I know we are. Whether it's here or in the afterlife. We're never gonna be apart again. I love you," I told him as he smiled at me.
"I wanna get a couple of new tattoos, but after we get our new house. I wanna get something related to you and something related to Itrez," he spoke nervously.
"You would get me tatted?" I asked him as he nodded his head.
"Yea. Of course," he spoke making me nod my head.
"Damn. We're really locked in huh?" I spoke rubbing his head as he cuddled into my chest.
"I'm already calling you my husband in my head. We might as well do it at our new place. We're meant to be," he spoke making my heart beat fast as I felt so much love and joy in my heart.
"I'm fine with that hubby," I replied making him chuckle and kiss me.
Yea, I would do anything to protect which is why tomorrow my brother and I need to have a little talk.
I couldn't have him doing anything more to Cev then what he's already done and now I wanna make sure he knows how serious I am.
This is my baby and not letting ANYBODY take him away from me.
I love you Cortlen, but Cévon was my world. I hoped he loved me enough to see that and back off, but if not...
I would have to handle it.