HEAVEN'S POV:
"I was distracted by... how good it felt. I was wrong. "
My heart pounded audibly in my chest, guilt building up as I spoke, getting down on my trembling feet. My stomach is yearning to feel that heat build up in it and my thighs feel torn without the armour of his fingers between them.
God! How bad I wanted this man to do what he was doing to me. I had submitted to him already but fortunately it dawned on me what I was going to do.
None of us was going to like it when he'd probably forget what we did tonight. All that'll remain, will be guilt and regrets. I don't want to be the reason behind that feeling no matter how good this feels right now.
He didn't say a word, stepping aside as he vowed not to touch me. This was getting awkward and so embarrassing, knowing the fact that we shared a moment so close to complete intimacy and it brought out the version of me that even I didn't know existed.
Pulling my dress down, I rushed over for the door, cautiously and closed the door shut behind my back.
A breath in air, after breathing in the fragrance of his scent and whiskey, felt strange. It's going to take me a lot of time to recover from this.
I hurriedly found my way back to the crowd, finding Dante right next to the exist, talking to the bodyguards with a look of frustration on his face.
"Lui è matto. "
He held his head, turning around to find me right behind his back, catching my breath. [Translation- He's crazy. ]
"Heaven, where is Julian? What did he say? You're alright? "
I nodded to his last question, acting like I didn't hear the rest because answering that is not a suitable activity for the moment.
"Let's go back now. " he ordered and I quietly followed him back to the car.
"Ariana passed out when she saw Julian in here. " he laughed, opening the door of the car, directing his hand for me to enter.
"He must be fuming. Don't mind him he's just not in too good of a mood, maybe. " he shrugged.
"Oh! No, he was pretty calm. " I affirmed, walking past him to get inside the car.
He paused for once and I glanced at him looking down at my neck, right on those hickeys. I almost held my breath, looking away.
"I see. He must have found ways to calm himself, I guess. " he hinted with a grin on his lips, raising his eyebrows. With a gentle laugh he shut the door close and I was left there in complete silence, embarrassed.
"God! What is wrong with this night. " I sighed, glancing by my side to find Ariana completely blanked out, asleep by the window.
A smile occupied my face thinking of that moment when Julian walked inside the club, the face she made, it was hilarious.
I held her head and gently adjusted it rest on my shoulders. I might not be a complete fan of this experience but this one did teach me to live the thrill, to enjoy the very moment.
Maybe it did teach me a lot more than I could handle. Probably that's why I can feel that lesson still stroking my thighs, sneaking its fingers under the dress to explore those unread letters of my chapter.
I bit my lips, closing my eyes. Is this what thrill feels like? When you jump over the boundaries and find a way to entangle yourself with the odds, with the wrongs, does it lead to thrill or doom?
WEDDING DAY:
HEAVEN'S POV:
I have no idea on why or even how he agreed to do it.
Julian's Dad will be walking me down the aisle.
I walked over towards the door, dressed up in the gown that encircled me in a trail of lace. The trail of the skirt following me, placed elegantly on the floor. The veil on my head fell over my shoulders and dispersed as I took another step.
Holding Julian's Dad's arms with my sweaty hands, I flashed a bright smile up at his emotions less face before we walked off.
Every single moment of this wedding is being recorded, preserved like an evidence that I actually went through this. I was the focus of this event still I couldn't help my mind that wandered off to thinking how it would have been if dad was here instead of this man who's as still as a stone with his emotions. He would be so happy to see me in this dress.
I held onto the bouquet as we walked through the door into the bright daylight to face hundreds of guests facing me, cheering and chatting. I couldn't force a smile anymore. I was shivering. This crowd will witness my wedding into this world, to the man who owns this kingdom, but I'll not be his queen, rather a puppet who has given the strings of it's life in fingers of a Lozano.
"It's not that difficult. " Julian's Dad mumbled, under his breath, flashing me a sharp look.
I felt bad. He is being so mean to me for no reason. Only if he knew what it feels like to marry someone who's a complete stranger to you and act like everything is perfect, he'd know how difficult that is.
"For you. " I whispered back with bitterness, looking away from the crowd to stare in a distance, at the alter that was bedecked with hundreds of flowers.
The man dressed in all black, forced my eyes to gravitate towards his strong figure, standing still like a wall as he watched me take every step towards him.
With each step, the sight of him was clearer than ever and also the thought of this fact that he's a disguised villain of my story, twisting it to his ways and then finding a way to make it seem like he helped me out of it.
Just before the steps of the alter, I turned my face to look at Julian's Dad and voiced,
"I didn't want to be here in first place. "
This one sentence tore that frown of his ego on his forehead to make him raise his eyebrows in surprise as he let go of my hand to let Julian take over.
Slight relief reached me as I expressed myself, taking my place in front of Julian. He didn't let go of my hand, holding onto it stroking the back of it.
I could see conflict in his eyes, the one that I saw when he was at the club. It was hazy but the mystery was now giving clues, making this moment even more intimidating for me.
I could see he was confident, wearing that suit as finely as he does, always. It suits him and he's capable of creating that aura to perfect the blend of it with his sculpted face and body.
I wonder what he sees right now? Can he see my nervousness? Just how unattractive this under confidence looks on me, over this expensive dress.
The celebrant welcomed everyone and described the beauty and essence of this moment and how truly sacred a marriage is. But I barely heard anything. I was counting my breaths, taking my mind off the obvious, this wedding. The fact that he seemed more invested in this wedding than I did, divided me on my thoughts about him, once again.
He payed attention to every word being said and knew well I was clueless and nervous as he let me hold onto his finger firmly for preventing me to act impulsively.
The pace at which this ceremony went made me comfortable, fast enough to stress the moment too much. Those same planned things being said again and again, those vows those promises, all being said to merely fulfill the need of the moment
"Heaven, do you pledge to acknowledge your love, your honour, care and truth to Julian Lozano and promise to be by his side in his triumphs and sorrows, for all your life? "
My heart paused and it felt like even the time itself waited for my reply. How beautiful this vow sounds, but the reply I have to give is the flaw to it's beauty.
"I do. "
I let go of Julian's hand, contrary to what I just vowed to do. The taste of lie felt bitter, not on my tongue but in my soul.
The celebrant worded the vow once again and I held the bouquet close of my chest, realizing the real meaning behind every word in it.
"Do you take Heaven Eloise to be your wife; to love her, comfort her, honour her and be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live? "
"I do. "
He held my hand again and gently placed a kiss on the back of it as he secured it, stroking it delicately. My eyes couldn't meet his anymore. I felt a sudden weight on my fingers as we exchanged the rings.
The radiance the grand diamond on the ring offered sat like a reminder of this moment on my finger. I was now someone who I never thought I'd be. I've left the Heaven from past and become Heaven, wife of Julian Lozano.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride. "
I waited, wishing for it to take place just as flawlessly as evey thing else but it didn't. He didn't bulge from his place, nor did I.
"I've made few promises before. I need to follow them. " he hinted.
The crowed cheered and clapped for us anyway. The stillness in air merging with the roar of claps cut this awkwardness short.
I didn't have energy to notice my surroundings anymore, it was tiring thing to do after I used all my energy to look like a happy bride for the photos. I just wish to escape this, have some rest and wake up when life makes sense.
•••
JULIAN'S POV:
"Are you sure you don't want to know where she is? " Dante asked, giving me an offer to rethink my decision of not wanting to know Heaven's whereabouts.
"Well, she's not in her room and I'm pretty sure not anywhere else in the mansion too." He informed.
I walked away from the scenic beauty of rain pouring onto the valley, over to my canvas.
"She's capable of thinking about herself. "
"You really wanna act like she's not in her room on the very night of her wedding? You really don't seem to care much about her. " he frowned.
I don't care much.
Not much to think of her constantly since that moment at club. Even if I can faintly remember a word, I can remember me unleashing my wicked tricks on her and how well she took it, accepting every touch.
All I can hear is her asking me to explore her further. I can't take my mind off her anymore and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more.
I wanted more of that corruption in her, I wanted to see the surging flow of desire seize control and bind her denial to the edge. Her walking away as she pushed me away, the faint cry from build up, the lust, I remember it all.
"If you're not interested, maybe I can try my chances and -"
"Another word Dante and you'll pay the price. " my blood spiked, hot again.
"Well, in case you haven't noticed yet, that girl has you lovesick, Don Julian. " he laughed, walking out of the room with another set of tease.
Even before I could think of picking up the brush and continue the painting, the strong urge in me took me out to find her. I wish to see her again, that glow on her face that I saw when I slid the ring over her finger, that innocent quiver to my slight touch, I wish to see her again, just to satisfy that one want.
My steps took me back to her room. The door was closed shut yet I opened it, the room was dim with just the light entering from the window.
Nobody was in here, like Dante informed me already but how much I would want to see her dressed up in her wedding dress with that slight blush, walk over to me from one of these corners.
Walking in, I closed the door behind me. The blend of earthly fragrance with a hint of lavender scent embraced my presence, making this room come alive.
It's just been few months and she's made this place her home. Warm and inviting like her, this place feels so different from earlier, when it was just a mere corner in this mansion, now her room, her world of fantasies and imagination.
I walked over towards the window, staring out at the sky storming and thundering. My eyes followed down the hills, situated far in sight, panning down to catch the glimpse of something strange in the garden under the shade of a tree.
That white veil, flowers scattered all over it, the one that I saw on Heaven. There was no sight of her anywhere around. My fingers tightened around the corners of window frame. I rushed outside, walking down, outside in the garden as soon as I could.
Rain poured down my hairs over my neck, down on me as I took few steps to the sight of Heaven, drenched, sitting with her body exposed to the pouring strom.
Petals of white roses stuck to her hairs and glistening wet skin as she hummed like a bird to the rhythm of falling rain.
I couldn't take my eyes off her like I'm dreaming of a Nymph walking down the land of paradise to sing a song for the world. Her voice wasn't anything less than a drug already and now with this melody, this feels like elixir, like it can rescue something in me.
She closed her eyes, smiling slightly like she knew she was messing with my mind and liked it. Her hairs fell over her back snaking down on the ground, over the grass. She was a sight that nobody would have witnessed ever and nobody will, other than me.
She's my wife now.
A sudden spark, an urge, spiked in me, making my lips curl in satisfaction. This foreign feeling knew nothing of the contract, nothing of the words of promise, all it knew was possession, desire and obsession.
HEAVEN'S POV:
I have to wash my hairs anyway, why not enjoy this moment God blessed us with.
I lifted my dress up to expose my feet to the cold drizzle, immersed in thoughts that finally found a way to synchronize and come to this conclusion that sometimes letting go of some dreams is better than holding onto them till they make your present vulnerable.
Other than the part of the fabric of this dress clinging onto my body, I love this moment. I've sung about seven songs by the time I was here. I must have changed out of this dress first but it's not like I'm going to use it again. Instead of packing it up in the closet with just the memories of my tragic wedding day, I can preserve it as the dress I wore when I sang for the rain, accepting my fate.
I think it's time I go back in and change. It's getting dark anyway.
I got up holding the dress firmly by the edge on my waist. It is going to be a task to carry it back inside.
I took in the breathtaking view of the garden, wishing I could just run free, spinning and skipping around in the pouring rain. Maybe I'm not that happy to be doing it right now.
I walked back towards the mansion with my dress gathered from the sides in one hand with my drenched hairs in another. I don't remember where I kept the veil, probably back in my room.
I opened the door to my room and hopped in, walking right inside the shower.
I took a hot shower, ripping out some pins in my hair that I forgot to take out earlier. My body reacted to the warm water with a shiver, still it felt soothing after a natural cold shower.
My bed was already piled with dresses and lingeries as I walked out of the shower.
The thought of the wedding night made my toes curl up as I squirmed to my imagination. It is all in my head. I have barely seen Julian after the ceremony. Maybe, he is serious about the contract after all.
I sat down on my bed, wrapping a towel around my chest. I picked up a red lingerie set that caught my attention because of how flattering the colour was.
For a moment, a thought of me wearing this, that night in the club, flashed before my eyes. It was so shameless of me but I couldn't help but let that heat capture me again.
I placed my fingers over my thighs, trailing it up exactly like he did. It felt so real even with just imagination of him, I could feel my legs quiver again. How good will it feel to have him do it to me?
“God! No! ”
I straightened my back, snapping out of my twisted imagination. He's not interested in any of this Heaven, that's what the contract is for.
To that, I can give about hundreds of reasons to why this would be wrong. Maybe this wicked imagination of mine will forever have to be a secret.
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