Sophia's POV
I wasn’t even sure if everything that was going on was real.
Those three men seemed like they genuinely cared about me. No one ever held me like that. No one ever kissed me. No one ever hugged me. No one ever fed me pancakes and asked me what I wanted. No one ever smiled at me like that.
Most importantly, I’d never felt safe with anyone, but I felt safe with them.
Mostly with a man called Alexander. I was pretty sure that’s what his name was. There was something about him that made me feel calm. His embrace was warm. His voice was soothing. His words were reassuring.
The man called Elijah had the warmest gaze I’d ever seen. I felt relaxed when he looked at me. I felt loved when he caressed my cheek. I felt like I mattered when he asked if I was hungry.
There was something so innocent in the third man. I wasn’t sure what his name was, but I could tell that he was the youngest of them all. Maybe that’s where his innocence came from. He made me feel free. He made me feel like I could come to him with any problem I was having. I wasn’t sure if he would be able to solve it, but I was sure that he would hug me and make me feel like that problem wasn’t as big as I thought it was.
Alexander could solve any problem that I was having. I was sure of it.
But it was all too good to be true.
It couldn't be true. I was probably dreaming. Maybe I was dead and this was some alternate reality that my brain created. Maybe James finally hit me so hard and I was just lying on that basement floor, waiting for someone to find my lifeless body.
But why did it create those two other men that I was terrified of? Why was my brain torturing me even after I died? Why was I in pain still?
“Sophia?” an unfamiliar voice called my name.
I blinked and focused on the man who was sitting in front of me.
I had no idea where I got the courage to look at him without being ordered to. I was even looking at my brothers without them telling me to do it. I had no idea why. Maybe I was too confused to pay attention to the rules?
The new man smiled at me warmly.
“Hi, Sophia,” he said. “My name is Seth and I am your psychiatrist.”
I gulped and gave him a small nod to let him know that I heard him. I was somehow able to look at him without being ordered to, but there was no way that I would be able to speak to him without being ordered to. I was still paying attention to that rule.
He glanced up and smiled again.
“I am your brother’s friend,” he said, looking back at me. “We work together at the hospital.”
I nodded again.
He smiled and looked at the rest of my brothers.
“I am not sure how productive this session will be with all five of you here,” the psychiatrist said.
“I am not leaving her,” the youngest man said as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
The psychiatrist sighed and looked at me.
“It would be best if we talked alone, Sophia,” the psychiatrist said with a small smile.
It didn’t really matter to me, really. I wasn’t going to tell him anything anyway. I wasn’t even sure what he wanted to know.
“Damien,” Seth said, looking up at him. “Can we please have a moment alone?”
There were a few moments of silence before Damien spoke.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s give them some privacy.”
My eyes widened. They were really leaving? They were leaving me alone with this man?
My heart raced and my stomach twisted painfully. This was it, wasn’t it? They were pretending all this time and they would leave me with this man who would hurt me. He wasn’t even a psychiatrist, was he?
My mind started coming up with every possible scenario. How would this man hurt me? Would he use my body just like James did? Would he hit me? Would he cut me?
My breathing picked up slightly.
I knew James. I could predict his moves. I knew how it felt when he…
I didn’t know this man. I wouldn't be able to predict his moves. I wouldn't know what he would do. I wouldn't know if…
“I am right here, baby,” Alexander’s soothing voice distracted me. “I will stay. I am not leaving.”
I looked at him and I almost started sobbing in relief. I never cried. I wasn’t allowed to cry.
But I wanted to cry at that moment.
Alexander smiled at me and caressed my cheek. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
“I promised that I wouldn't leave, baby,” he said softly. “I am right here and you are safe.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder and he kissed my temple. My insides were shaking. I was sure that they would let him hurt me. I was sure that this was the end.
“Are you okay, Sophia?” the psychiatrist asked softly.
I looked at him and gulped. I gave him a small nod.
He glanced at Alexander worriedly.
“You are allowed to speak, baby,” Alexander said as he ran his fingers through my hair. “You don’t have to wait for us to order you to answer his questions.”
I gulped and kept my eyes on the psychiatrist. That was going to be really hard for me to do.
“Your brothers told me a little bit about what happened to you, Sophia,” the psychiatrist said. “I saw your chart at the hospital.”
I clenched my fists and tried to remain as calm as possible.
“I know it will take some time for you to trust me, Sophia, but we need to start somewhere,” he continued. “We need to start talking. We need to start getting to know each other.”
I didn’t want to get to know him. I didn’t need to talk to anyone. I needed to be left alone.
The psychiatrist gave me a small smile.
“We don’t have to talk about what happened, Sophia,” he said. “Not yet. Not until you are ready.”
I would never be ready. There was nothing to say about it anyway.
“I would love to get to know you better,” the psychiatrist continued. “Can you tell me something about yourself?”
I furrowed my eyebrows. There was nothing to tell. I was nothing. I was no one.
“What was your favorite subject in school?” he asked, keeping a small smile on his face.
I gulped and Alexander tightened his hold on me.
“It’s okay, baby,” he said softly. “You can answer. Nothing bad will happen.”
I took a deep breath and gulped.
“History,” I mumbled quietly.
Alexander kissed my temple and the psychiatrist smiled brightly.
“Great, Sophia,” he said as he leaned forward. “Tell me more. Were you more into sports or art?”
Why did he care?
“I loved playing piano,” I mumbled quietly.
I would sometimes sneak into the music room during lunch. I never had anything to eat anyway. I would use that time to play.
“Our mom played piano, baby,” Alexander said, making me look at him. “I know how to play it too. Maybe we could play together sometime.”
Why would he want to do that?
I gave him a small nod and he smiled brightly.
The psychiatrist asked me another question and I turned back to him.
I spent the next half hour forcing myself to speak. I answered every question and I could tell that both of them were really happy about it. I wasn’t sure why, though. Nothing would change just because I spoke for a while.
My fate was still the same as it was before the psychiatrist came. Nothing changed. Nothing mattered.
Nothing mattered without a future.
And I didn’t have one.