The Way to Love (Camren)

Chapter 9: Promises

IX.

Lauren blinked. Something painfully sharp was digging into the small of her back, twisting and screwing itself against her flesh. While her vision began to clear, she whipped her head from side to side frantically, a weak attempt to determine where she was. Blurry surroundings started to focus, and Lauren found herself standing on a dingy sidewalk, with her back smashed against an iron gate. Everything was negative, black where it should have been white, and vice versa while the sky above was a blood red.

"What the fuck?" Lauren grunted as she tried to turn and look behind her. She had full control of her eyes, but the rest of her body was completely immobile. Even the expansion and recession of her lungs felt involuntary. After a few moments of confused silence, a scream pierced the air.

"Lauren!"

The Latina frowned when the familiar voice rang out, full of panic and borderline terror. Her stomach flipped when she matched the voice to an all too familiar face.

"Camila?" Lauren asked incredulously. "Where are you? What's going on?"

There was a moment of quiet, then another scream tore its way to Lauren's ears. "Lauren, help me!" Camila's voice tapered off into a wail. "Please!"

The girl bit down hard, grinding her top teeth into her bottom lip and narrowing her eyes. Two figures came into view, one larger, and towering over the other, who was curled on the ground. It took Lauren no more than a number of seconds to realize what was happening.

She tried to lunge forward. "Get away from her." The Latina growled. She never thought she would be tired of saying those words. "Get away from her, or I swear to god I'll..."

Lauren was cut off when the man began to kick her roommate in the ribs. Hard. Over and over again, releasing scream after scream of sheer pain. The green eyed girl froze for a moment while her body registered just what was happening. "Stop..." Lauren uttered, her voice a low, deadly rasp. "Get the fuck away from her... leave her alone!" Her voice escalated into a roar. The girl tried her best to move, wrenching every single limb so hard that her body began to roll into a heated burn.

"Lauren..." Camila croaked, curling her body up and tucking her chin into her chest.

Lauren's pupils began to shake within the sclera, moving everything she was seeing from side to side at a sharp pace. She couldn't do anything but watch as the man grabbed Camila by the front of her shirt and hoisted her into the air, shoving her up against a non-existent wall. "Fuck." Lauren swore to herself as he snagged the hem of her shirt, pulling it down slightly to reveal the same bra she had worn to their pre-exam party. She shut her eyes, but the image was etched on the inside of her lids as well. She knew it was nothing but a lucid dream, but Lauren just couldn't watch Camila suffer.

Camila screamed one more time, and Lauren tore through all the barriers before her to get her body moving. "Camila..." The girl whimpered to herself as she began to dash towards the man, ready to shoulder him out of the way and smash his face into deep into the ground.

When she got closer, she noticed that Camila's naturally dark eyes were white, while her own were nearly black under the colour change. It looked like a scene from a horror movie, and the faster she moved, the farther away they got. Lauren knew she was fighting a battle she couldn't win. The fierce Latina hissed a number of expletives the moment everything around her turned to a high-speed blur and her surroundings changed.

"I'm going to lose her." She opened her eyes again, forced to watch her mother cry as she let her husband hold her tight. The green eyed girl lay still on the white of the hospital bed, her other siblings huddling in the corner, both trying their hardest not to cry. There was the steady drone of the heart rate monitor, the soft pump of the IV, the bustle of the hospital inhabitants outside. Everything was placed perfectly, to depict a parent's greatest nightmare.

***

There were a few things that one should never wake to at two in the morning, at least as far as Ally knew. Knocking on the door, a phone call, and sirens of any kind were a few she could name off the top of her head, but at the top of the list was screaming. Screaming was a big one, and the sharp sound that echoed through the vents woke her immediately. Ally yanked the variety of brightly coloured bedding off her body and jumped to her feet, rubbing her eyes to adjust to the dim light of the outside. It was freezing, so she grabbed the fuzziest piece of clothing she could feel around for, and rushed to pull her door open.

"Ally?!" Normani was already awake and standing in the doorway of her room. She had a confused look on her face, and was dressed in a standard white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "What on earth is that?"

Ally took a moment to pause, waiting until another scream pierced the air. It trailed off into a desperate wail and a series of hacking coughs. "I... I don't know. It kind of sounds like someone's having a nightmare."

It took all of three seconds for Camila and Dinah to appear in their bedroom doorways as well.

"What the fuck is that?" Dinah whined as she pulled her hair up into a bun. "Is someone shouting?" She looked over at Camila, who was blinking sleep out of her eyes. "Mila, was that you?"

"Nope." Camila yawned, shaking her head. "I thought it was you."

When a third scream sounded, Camila's head snapped up and her eyes widened. Her voice was a mere hiss. "Lauren..." When Ally looked over, the tiny brunette was already halfway down the stairs, moving at top speed.

"Shit." Dinah began to follow her, while Ally exchanged a quick glance with Normani before heading down as well. "Mila!" Dinah whispered frantically. "Don't... !"

But Camila wasn't listening. The door to the basement was yanked open, and the three were forced to chase the Latina down to where the sound became greater. "Holy crap." Ally breathed when she got a look at Lauren. The girl was wrapped up in her sheets, her pillows and blankets were flung all around the room to add to the pre-existing mess. Before Camila could make as much as a move, Dinah surged forward and grabbed her, slapping a hand over her mouth.

"She's having a nightmare." Dinah whispered through gritted teeth. She had an arm wrapped around Camila's waist, and was speaking in her ear. "You can't just go in and wake her."

When Dinah removed her hand, Camila breathed. "But..."

Most of Lauren's face was buried in her arms, but from the way her brow was furrowed, it looked like she was in pain. Her hair had fallen from its tie from the movements, and her body was trembling. Ally could hear her breathing from where she stood.

"She's right." The Texan whispered. "It's like when you run into someone sleepwalking."

"But she's..." Camila's voice broke as Lauren began to groan softly, turning over so her back was to her roommates. Her arms went down to wrap around her stomach, and she began to squirm where she lay. Small wails were escaping every once and a while. "I can't." Camila wrenched forward. "I can't watch her suffer... Lauren!" Dinah grabbed her again, using an iron grip to hold her in place.

"When you wake someone up from a nightmare, all it will do is make them anxious and upset. That's rule number one of babysitting." Dinah explained softly. "I know you hate this, but you're only supposed to wake her if she poses a physical threat to herself, or anyone around her." Slowly letting go of her friend, she then moved to pick up the pillows that were scattered around the room and advance towards Lauren silently.

"Come here Mila." Normani took Camila's arm, guiding her into a comforting hug, and holding her there while watching Dinah build a small cushioned fort around the girl. It braced her from the wall, and the wood of her bed's headboard. She was speaking to her softly, her trademark gentle voice was so quiet it was almost nonexistent.

"She's never mentioned anything about having nightmares before, what do we do?" Camila asked in a panic when Dinah was finished. Lauren's body was still shivering, and small whimpers and groans were spilling out every few seconds. It was taking all the willpower she had to not go and shake her roommate awake, and the others knew it.

"I'll wait down here with her to make sure she doesn't hurt herself." Ally volunteered. "The rest of you need to sleep, and it should pass eventually."

"Are you sure?" The youngest asked the oldest. "You need sleep too."

"I've got a light schedule tomorrow. Just go." Ally assured her, gently shooing her roommates towards the stairs.

"Wait, can I at least go sit with her for a second?" Camila asked timidly, her eyes still on the bed. "Please?"

"Fine." Dinah smiled. "Just try not to wake her."

Camila didn't have to ask twice before moving in and sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at the grimace on Lauren's face. She made sure to be as quiet as humanly possible while she lay down slowly. Ally had her arms folded, and was leaning against the doorframe of the laundry room, studying the girls. Lauren had stopped trembling when Camila came in contact, and the Texas native could have sworn she heard a soft sigh.

"You never told me you had nightmares." Camila said softly, doing her best to muster a sad smile up to the ceiling. She wasn't sure if the others could hear her or not, seeing as Normani was already gone, and Dinah was just ascending the staircase. "But I want to help out with whatever it is that's bugging you." She turned on her side, resting her head on her arm and watching the rise and fall of Lauren's chest. "You're safe." She whispered, before closing her eyes. "You're so safe."

***

Ally had to wake Camila a few moments later to get her back into her own bed, with multiple reassurances that she would keep a close eye on Lauren. With a lengthy hug, and a soft squeeze to her arm, she let the younger Latina jog back upstairs.

Ally then picked up one of the blankets that Lauren had tossed across the room, and draped it around her body, curling up on the floor with her back against the wall. It was just around a half an hour of sadly watching Lauren twist and turn again, her body rolling into shivers every time she moved. At around quarter to three, Ally was just drifting off when Lauren began whimpering and crying out. The girl stood up and made her way over to sit on her bed, talking softly.

"He's dead." The paramedic spoke somberly before grabbing the white sheet that his colleague held and draping it over the body. The boy's hand fell limply from his chest when they lifted him, dangling off the edge of the table. Lauren couldn't tear her eyes away from it until white gloved hands had secured it into the black bag. Brad grabbed her, pulling her to the door as fast as he could.

"You're safe, let's get the fuck out of here." He told her. She let herself get pulled away, but not without acknowledging the bloodcurdling screams of the parents who were both shaking on the ground.

The faster Lauren ran, the harder it became to breath, and as much as she wanted to stop, her body was clearly making its own choices. Miami came into view, although it wasn't the one she was used to. It was an aerial view, one that encompassed a rather gut wrenching panorama of the palm tree covered, sparkling city below. If only humans could fly...Lauren thought as her stomach erupted in her mouth on the descent. The blackness of the concrete below mixed with the blackness of her bedroom as she woke.

"Ally!" Lauren bolted upright as her eyes landed on the roommate sitting at the foot of her bed. "Holy mother of..." Her pupils were blown wide, chest heaving with every sweat lined breath she took. "What are you doing here?"

"You looked like you were having a pretty rough time." Ally folded her legs underneath her body, shimmying further onto the bed. "Just take a minute Lo, breathe."

Lauren curled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her arms. "Did I wake you?" She asked in the tiniest voice Ally had ever heard.

"We heard you, so we all came down to make sure you were alright." Ally admitted, not wanting to damage Lauren's pride even more. When the girl lifted her head, her eyes were puffy and tired. "Lauren, is there something bothering you?"

"It was just a series of bad dreams." Lauren confessed. "It's weird, I almost never get nightmares that bad."

"Do you wanna talk about her?"

"Huh?"

"You know what I mean."

Lauren blinked at her roommate. She knew Ally was smart, but had never pegged her as being a short Sherlock. "I... I don't think I do." The green eyed girl lied.

"Camila."

Lauren hadn't admitted it to Normani directly. She hadn't admitted it to herself directly, but just staring into Ally's curious chestnut gaze was making her realize it more than ever. "I love her." Lauren whispered into the air, letting her chin rest on her knees. "Ally, I love her so much... and it's scaring me."

Ally nodded. "I know." The older girl reassured her roommate. There was a serene expression on her face, one that portrayed endless wisdom.

"No." Lauren shook her head, wiping her eyes. "You don't..." After a few shaky breaths, she looked up again. "I'm in love with her."

Lauren expected Ally to burst into a fit of cheers and giggles. She expected an explosion of bubbles and rainbows, but the girl only held her expression.

Ally nodded. "I know." The brunette smiled softly, putting emphasis in her words.

Lauren frowned. "Did Normani tell you?"

" Normani didn't tell me a thing." She laughed softly. "She didn't need to. You think you're always so closed up and sheltered, but realistically we can all see it. The way you are with her? Come on Lauren."

Lauren nodded. She wasn't even going to fight with her roommate on the proclamation. It was far too late for fighting of any kind. "Am I getting myself into something that's never going to happen?" She asked timidly, her vulnerable side exposing itself. "Is this just going to end badly for me?"

Ally sighed. "I support you. Normani supports you, Dinah...is off in her own little world, but when she figures it out, she'll support you." The Texas native assured her. "So whatever happens, we're all going to get both of you through it."

"I'm fucking scared." Lauren buried her face back into her arms, muffling her voice.

"I know." Ally nodded, shuffling off the bed and moving to the bathroom, filling a glass of cold water and bringing it over to her roommate. Lauren accepted it graciously, cupping the cool glass with both hands, and balancing it on her knees.

"Well I'll say this." Ally began to dim the lights by Lauren's bed she had previously turned on. The girls used a stack of old paint cans to keep the dryer door shut, yet somehow the landlords had found the time to put dimmers on all the switches. "You're not going to let something as dumb as fear get in the way of what you really want. I know you." She spoke, as the room got darker and darker. When there was nothing but the faint glow of the moon from the tiny window in the corner. Ally chuckled. "And if you want my advice... I'm pretty sure that the last thing on earth that you ever... ever need to be scared of." She then turned around so she was peering at Lauren through the darkness. "Is Camila."

"I— I know."

Ally then said a few words in Spanish, to which Lauren nodded with a small smile. "I will." She answered the older girl who had told her to take all the time she needed.

"And try to go back to sleep. If you need anything, just let me know." She tucked the covers over her exhausted roommate, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze. Lauren watched her leave, wishing more than anything that she wouldn't.

About an hour later, sleep still eluded her, so she hoisted herself out of bed and upstairs, pulling open the fridge door and filling a tall glass with extra pulp orange juice. When she shuffled back down, Lauren then decided she would do a clean sweep of her bedroom, tidying every inch of covered floor. She started with the bookshelf, organizing each textbook alphabetically, and accenting the shelves with the small knick-knacks her mom had given her as a part of her going away gift. She began unwrapping some photo frames she had neglected, and pulling open the boxes of photos to start fitting the best ones behind glass. Lauren began with a photo of her roommates on the day they met, each girl doe-eyed and nervous. She chuckled to herself, moving on to a picture of her dog, snuggled in the blankets that remained on her bed at home.

Sighing, Lauren then fitted into a frame a photo of her between her two siblings on the day of her high school graduation. A picture of her grandparents. Her cousins. Her best friends. Some photos from the previous Christmas dinner when her mom had forgotten to take the stuffing out of the turkey before she served it. She found a photo from her senior prom, her arms wrapped around Brad and his cheeky smile.

"God Camila." Lauren said softly to herself, staring at the photo. "Why couldn't you just be like this? Why do you have to make things so damn complicated?" She settled for clipping the picture into one of the horizontal frames, along with two other photos from the dance.

The girl spent the next little while pinning up the massive bulletin board of memories to her wall, which took up a good chunk of her night. She began pinning the photos she hadn't framed against it, as well as a few "best sister ever" drawings, concert wristbands, movie tickets, and other senior year memories she had saved. Lauren then went to work on her laundry, organizing the wardrobe explosion that always seemed to plague her room. After the bulk of it was done, she moved on to the bathroom, the laundry room, and even considered running the floor down with a vacuum, but figured she would probably get yelled at from above.

When the crack of dawn was evident through her window, Lauren was just in the midst of bringing the last load of recycling out to the garage when she almost crashed into a hurried body upstairs.

"Oh my— shit, sorry!" Lauren pulled back to see Camila dressed in a t-shirt and crop leggings, her hair tied up in a ridiculously high ponytail, and a jacket around her waist. She gave the girl a confused look, one that was quickly mirrored back at her when Camila caught a glance at the leaning tower of scrap paper in her arms.

"What are you doing up?" The brunette had a spark of concern in her eye.

"I couldn't really sleep much after... you know." She looked down, then inched around the girl to avoid further awkward eye-contact. Camila followed her into the kitchen, as much as Lauren wished she didn't.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

Camila hoisted herself up on the counter, watching as Lauren disappeared through the door to the garage, emptied her arms, and then returned. "Have you been cleaning?"

Lauren tilted her head in the direction of her bedroom door, a small smirk on her face. "Come and see for yourself."

When she shuffled off the counter and kicked off her shoes, Camila wasn't sure what she was going to find. The staircase to Lauren's room was built in two directions, so as she turned the corner and descended further, her eyes almost bugged out of her head. "Oh my god!" Camila yelped as she got a good look at the room. "Lauren!"

Lauren's instinct told her that something had to be wrong, the urgent tone of her roommates voice sending panic through her. "What? What's wrong?"

Camila thrust her arms out in an over-exaggerated motion, gesturing at the floor. "There really was a floor under all those clothes!"

The green eyed girl had to press one hand to her chest to calm herself down. "Jesus, you actually scared me for a second. What do you think?"

"I think it's beautiful." Camila gushed teasingly, bouncing over to the bookshelf and examining the photos. "These are all so cute..." Her brow furrowed. "Hey, who's the dude in the suit?"

Lauren scratched at the nape of her neck, her eyes down. "That would be Brad."

"The english guy?"

"Correct."

"You kept his picture?"

Lauren shrugged. "Isn't it customary to keep prom photos?"

"Not when the only other picture of your favourite roommate is one that makes her look like a hobo." Camila jerked her chin in the direction of the group picture, and Lauren smiled.

"I don't really have many other pictures of you."

"True." The girl thought for a moment, then spun around. "Don't move!" Camila called as she shot up the stairs, her feet pounding on the carpeted floor. She reappeared moments later with a large white camera in her hand, shaped like a marshmallow.

"You have a polaroid?" Lauren questioned as Camila turned the camera on.

"My friend bought it for me when we went down south. I never really used it much, but the whole "one picture of Camila" thing isn't flying with me, so I'm using it again."

Camila turned, standing about a half an inch shorter than Lauren, and flipping the camera around. She backed herself up, and was leaning on Lauren's shoulder as she positioned the device. Green eyes were locked on the side of Camila's head, Lauren could barely straighten her thoughts until she heard the command to smile. She did though, and butterflies began hatching in her stomach as the camera clicked and a white, glossy photo was released from the device.

"We're cute." Camila grinned as she began waving the photo in the air to let it dry, then skipped over and placed it on the shelf, leaning it on the books. "And harmony is restored."

For as long as she could remember, Lauren had never really been one to gravitate towards a camera, at least not unless she was one hundred percent confident with the way she looked. She watched as the picture on her shelf developed, and as it came into view, the internal cringe in her faded away. It was cute. Camila had a bubbly look on her face, her tongue poking out from between her teeth in a playful smile. Lauren looked a little more serious, giving the camera one of her signature sultry looks. The added grunge made any imperfections on her face faded and unnoticeable.

"Wow." She managed to murmur. "We are."

***

"Why are polar bears white?" Dinah asked as she flipped to the discovery channel documentary on the global warming movement in the arctic. It was a few days after the nightmare, and Dinah, Camila and Lauren were huddled inside with the heat cranked. "I mean I understand black bears, brown bears, grizzly bears... what's the deal with polar bears?" An image popped up on the screen, of three white cubs rolling headfirst down a hill like little tumbleweeds.

"The white fur is because of adaptation." Lauren replied without tearing her eyes from her laptop screen. "So they can blend into the snow and hide from predators."

Camila was sitting across the table writing on a sticky note. She looked up when Lauren answered Dinah with a small frown on her face. "So what predators do you think polar bears have?" She asked the green eyed girl while an unabashed smile curled on her lips.

"Um..." Lauren looked over and scratched her chin. It only took her a few seconds to realize the question was a little harder than she had anticipated. She then proceeded to spit out the first thing she could think of. "I don't know, like... a hawk?"

"A hawk?" Camila tilted her chin down, humour flickering in her eyes. "Come on Lauren. I know you're better than that."

"Okay fine. A wolf."

Camila laughed. "That's like saying that one lion could kill an elephant."

Dinah Jane was blinking in confusion from the other side of the room. "Okay." Lauren tried one more time after taking a few seconds to think it through. She was leaning back in her seat now, her arms folded neatly against her torso. "Say there's a cute little polar bear baby, and he comes across a pack of hungry wolves. Wouldn't the baby be able to use camouflage to stay out of sight?" She suggested.

"Are the wolves scent impaired?" Camila raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck you." Lauren dropped her head into her arms and began to mutter to herself.

"Polar bears aren't actually white." Camila turned to explain to Dinah, who had lost any previous interest at that point. "They've got a transparent coat that does some sort of optics light trick on the eyes, and makes it appear white. Luminescence I think... I did a paper on it in high school."

"Know it all" Lauren grumbled into her arms.

To Lauren, the word "smitten" was terribly annoying, but it was the best she could do to explain her affection for Camila. Since the day the brunette had initiated the impromptu photo session, she had lost most of her proud, spine-straightened disposition, and was subtly turning to mush under her roommate's thumb. Lauren would wait in the morning until she could hear the familiar patter of feet to emerge from her basement cave and make breakfast. She would study for a little while longer while she waited for Camila to return from her night study sessions, and pretend to type away at her keyboard right up until the girl went upstairs to bed.

She would wait around the corner like a baby faced middle schooler until she knew Camila's exam was done, then would pop out so they could walk to the following one that they shared. Everything she did began to reflect Camila.

On a less fluffy note, she was holding back making any further movement for her emotions solely because she was terrified to the bone. The girl could face off against massive drunk strangers, and fold the balls of horny college guys in a single bound, but falling in love made her wanted to curl up into a ball and hibernate. And not in a good way. She was willing to go out on a limb and admit that she had been a little cold to her roommate, but only because the magnitude of her affection was just becoming too much for her to handle.

Camila on the other hand, was far too wrapped up in her mid-exam stress to even notice any further change in Lauren. The girls had left the drama of the past few weeks, in the past few weeks, and all five of them were doing their best to focus solely on their academic careers, with the promise of Christmas just around the corner. That had been the case right up until Dinah Jane made one of her classic suggestions.

"Hey, how about we go give open mic night a shot?" The youngest asked as she stood up and began attacking the dishes that she had kindly neglected over the last few days. "One of the girls I work with organizes it once a week, and they hold it at that little restaurant on campus, the Boathouse." She tilted her chin to where a neon flyer on the counter a ways away.

Camila looked up. "Is it Ariana?" She asked.

Dinah nodded.

Lauren looked up from her laptop screen. "Wait, Ariana Grande? The same Ariana we met at that Houston's? The one who has really small hands and knows how to roll her own weed?"

Dinah nodded again, just catching a glass as it slipped out of her soapy hands. "You guys don't have another exam until next Monday, just take one night off. It'll be fun, nothing serious, very little booze, and some maybe-good music. Ariana also has an insane set of pipes, and they always start the night with her doing a number or two, she's so talented." Dinah paused for a moment, studying the delicate glassware in her hands. She knew just how easy it would be to pull a Camila, and drop it to the floor, smashing it into a million tiny pieces. "Mila, she also really likes you."

Dinah felt Camila look up from where she was still reading the flyer, as well as a set of blazing green eyes from the dining room table. She smiled to herself.

"Really?" Camila could hide the content in her voice. Having a guy hit on you was one thing, but to her, the affection of a girl meant something completely foreign. "That's cool, maybe I'll go with you."

Lauren's eyes went back down to her laptop screen. "Laur, will you come too?" Camila asked as she extended the flyer to her roommate. "Our exam schedules are so similar, I feel like you need a break just as much as I do."

Lauren took the paper. In large bolded letters scrawled across the top, she read "An Open Mic Night To Remember", followed up by a series of event details and contact numbers. It looked like something made with cheesy clip art. "I don't know. I'd hate to throw away library time." She replied as she set the flyer down. That was the other thing that she found terribly annoying. Camila had an involuntary affinity for amplifying each emotion Lauren happened to be feeling, and that included annoyance. More specifically, jealousy. It just showed how things could go from one to one hundred in a matter of days.

"Please?" Camila begged as she pulled out the cutest set of eyes in her arsenal. "I promise you'll have fun."

"I don't think so." Lauren shook her head. "I haven't been feeling all that great lately." She watched as Camila's face fell. "Sorry babe."

Camila let her shoulders droop, but nodded slowly. She knew when Lauren pulled out the "babe" card, it was because she was either being brutally honest, sympathetic, or just super tired. Normani had the same habit. "Okay." She replied with a sad twinge to her voice. "But I'm gonna send you snapchats all night."

Lauren rolled her eyes playfully. She wasn't completely lying. Ever since she had taken that incredibly irresponsible trip to the balcony in nothing but a sweaty tank top, she had been feeling pretty crappy. It was a nuisance right when her brain needed to be at its best, but her immune system was successfully fighting off any invading bug, and the worst she had was a headache, or chills here and there.

"I don't doubt that." The girl fell into a grin. "And are you going to do the thing where if I open it and don't respond, you call me and yell at me for ten minutes straight?"

"You got it babe." Camila smiled, closing her eyes and showing her teeth.

When the door opened a moment later, Ally and Normani barrelled inside.

"Oh my god, I love this city more than anything, but I swear, my cha-chas are so cold I'm pretty sure they froze and fell off halfway up the fucking driveway." Normani complained as she kicked off her boots and then proceeded to step on them as she stormed into the house and cranked the heat up even higher. "Like it's only the end of November! Why is there so much damn snow?"

"Okay, when she says cha-chas, is she referring to her boobs or her ass?" Camila leaned over and mumbled to Dinah.

"Both." Dinah mumbled back as she grabbed one of the tea towels that hung on the oven door handle, and flipped it over Camila's shoulder. "Now finish drying these, I'm tired."

Camila took the towel and advanced to the dishes without complaint. "It's just an unusually cold winter Mani." She heard Lauren reply from across the room. "Doesn't it snow at all in Texas?"

"In very small increments." Ally had bent over to remove her shoes properly. "Very rarely in San Antonio, but hardly ever, if at all in Houston. Lauren, I can't believe you're not complaining more about this, there's got to be at least five feet of snow out there. All the water in Central Park is officially frozen solid."

"Really?" Lauren perked up from her laptop screen and stood to help Ally with the handfuls of shopping bags. Normani and Dinah were curled on the couch under a multitude of blankets that had been sitting within their reach. "Is the park frozen now?"

"That's what I heard at work." Ally shrugged. "One of the guys took his girlfriend on a midnight ice skating date yesterday, and it's only supposed to get colder from here."

"Why?" Normani asked the green eyed girl with a smile. "Were you thinking of taking your girlfriend on a midnight ice-skating date?"

Lauren whipped around, flashing an annoyed look at her friend. Dinah turned to give Normani a light punch on the shoulder. "You know it upsets Lauren when you do that." She said softly, causing both girls to laugh. Lauren cracked a small smile, thankful that Camila was too busy trying not to drop the clean glassware in the kitchen to have heard them.

"Seriously Lo, what did you want to go to that freezing cold park for?" Ally asked.

At that, Camila turned around to listen to the answer. Lauren scratched at the nape of her neck for a moment, fidgeting on her feet. "No reason." She replied. "It's nice during the winter, a little more peaceful."

"Did you want company?" Camila asked kindly as she turned and leaned against the counter. "I like it there."

"You don't have to do that." Lauren shook her head again without looking in Camila's direction. "I'm so busy that I probably won't even make it. Thanks though."

Camila's face fell, but she nodded sympathetically. Normani looked at Lauren with a frown, which the Latina just shrugged off. "Please consider coming to open mic night then." Camila continued softly. "Please Laur? It won't be as fun if you're not there."

"I'm not going Camz." Lauren's voice came out a little harsher than she had intended, and she pushed past her and moved into the kitchen. The girl then pulled open the fridge to hide the heat rising in her cheeks.

There was an awkward pause of silence, and Normani, Dinah and Camila all exchanged confused looks.

"Well, I'm going to head to school." Camila declared as she snapped her laptop shut and gathered her things, stuffing everything lazily into her bag. She didn't know why Lauren was being icy, and she didn't really want to stick around and find out. The young Cabello had never been one to dive headfirst into conflict. "Does anyone want to come?"

"I'll drive you." Ally had picked up her book bag and keys again. The shorter girl was feeling the tension in the air just as the others were. "I need to head to campus anyway."

"I'm going to take a nap." Normani shivered, standing from where she sat and making her way upstairs. "I need to defrost."

"Yeah, that polar bear nonsense was enough studying for me for the rest of the day. I'm going to go shower." Dinah followed the girl up the steps, disappearing into her room.

Ally and Camila were gone in a matter of seconds, and Lauren was left standing in the middle of the empty kitchen, blinking to herself. She gathered her things and began to make her way down into her bedroom, stopping when she received a text from Normani.

Normani: Lauren, what the fuck was that?

Lauren: What?

Normani: You just blew her off. Twice. And you were kind of jerky about it. Are you alright?

Lauren: Yeah I'm fine. I'm just exhausted.

Normani: This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Ariana Grande may or may not be into Camila, would it? Sorry, Dinah told me...

Lauren: Camila can do whatever she wants.

Normani: And you'll be alright with that...?

Lauren: I kind of have to be.

***

" Wow, it smells so good in here." Camila noted as the two girls filed into the circular building. It looked like in its past, it had been used as a bullring, or some kind of storage shed, for the walls were literally corner-less, and the roof had been built up using layered shingles. The music was loud, yet not enough to drown out the sound of food being cooked.

"They use all natural ingredients, and everything is handpicked and driven in." Dinah explained as the duo took a seat at one of the booths. "It's a little steep in terms of price, but all the drinks are the same as if you were in a bar."

Camila took off her jacket, revealing the low-cut black tank top she had chosen for the night. Her hair was fixed in a half-up, half-down style, with her signature layers framing her face. Dinah whistled. "You're looking hot." She grinned. "Any reason in particular?"

Camila shrugged. "No." She replied honestly. "I just figured a night where I didn't look like a man wouldn't hurt."

Dinah just laughed. "So Lauren didn't want to come?" She asked, curious that the green eyed girl hadn't jumped on the chance to spend the night listening to music. "Was she busy?"

"I don't really know." Camila rested her chin on her hands. "I haven't really talked to her since this morning when we were all together. She seemed kind of out of it when I passed her on the way out, but I didn't question it."

"You think she's alright?"

"I hope so." Camila's brow was furrowed. "She said she was going to the library tonight, so I figure it's just stress. It's weird, usually I'm the one who's freaking out, not her."

Dinah chuckled. "She told me she needed to go shopping tonight, so she's lying to one of us."

"She lied?" The smaller girl asked, her voice incredulous. "Why would she lie?"

"Everyone lies Mila." Dinah sighed. "It's human nature. Literally. I learnt about it in my social psychology class this semester. You can read my paper."

Camila wanted to grab Dinah, shake her, and tell her that Lauren didn't lie. At least not to her. She didn't though, for she knew opening that can of worms would be like throwing gas on a fire. "Well all I know is that ever since she had that nightmare, she's been weird."

She had asked Lauren if there was something wrong multiple times since the troubling night, but each time she came up with less than nothing of an answer. Lauren would just close her laptop, or stack up her books before disappearing down to her room, only to remain there for the rest of the day. They hadn't even lasted an hour earlier that day before the girl got weird and the tension rose, so it was an understatement to say that Camila wasn't thrilled.

"Ladies!" Ariana's bubbly voice cut into the conversation, slicing through the background noise. Camila was grateful that she had chosen to show up just then. The shorter girl was dressed in a tight black t-shirt that cut low to show off her lifted cleavage, and a pair of high waisted jeans. She had her hair up in a tight professional looking ponytail, not a strand was out of place. "It's good to see you, they just started calling people up to sing. Can I get you anything? Drinks are on the house for you guys."

"Are you serious?" Camila smiled as she parted from the side hug she had received. "You don't have to do that."

"I run this show baby." Ariana smirked. "What'll it be?"

Dinah ordered a beer for each of them, which Ariana insisted on personally escorting it to their table. After a plate of fries followed, Camila found herself stretched out on the soft cushion, lining one of the crispy strips with a thin line of ketchup.

"So." Ariana grinned as she slid in next to Dinah, a drink of her own in hand. "Which one of you cuties are going to get up there and sing a few bars with me?"

"Over my dead body." Dinah grabbed a fry and twirled it in her hand before popping it into her mouth. "I've got a reputation to uphold."

Camila snorted.

"What about you Camila?" Ariana laughed. "We don't have many regulars, so there's a good chance you won't be singing in front of the same person twice. Just give it a shot. It's not like you even have to be any good. There aren't many people who are."

Camila swung her legs around so they were in front of her again, and leaned on the table challengingly. "I want to hear you first." She gave the older girl a smug look. "Then I'll think about it." She wasn't sure what had come over her, but the clouded, murky atmosphere of the restaurant was bringing out her unabashed confidence. Dinah nearly choked on her fry as Camila replied.

"You sing? For real?" Dinah's eyes widened. "You never told me you sang."

"I don't really." Camila shrugged, her eyes locked on Ariana.

"Challenge accepted." The girl nodded with a wink, sliding out of the booth and jogging over to a burly looking guy who was tightening the wheels on a grand piano. After a short moment of conversation, she was tapping on the mic, the feedback screeching through the noisy room.

"Hey everyone. Welcome to open mic night!" There was a hoot or two from the crowd. "I'll be opening the night for you guys, and I've got a special guest who'll be following right after." The brunette winked at Camila, who shook her head with a smile.

When Ariana sat behind the piano and began to sing, Camila could feel her jaw drop to the floor. It was a personalized cover of "Vienna" by Billy Joel, and although it was far from the classic version, it fit her voice well. Camila shot a look at Dinah.

"She's amazing!"

Dinah laughed. "Right? I think she writes some of her own stuff as well."

Camila felt the nerd in her bursting with happiness at the way Ariana attacked each note with a tingling precision. The Latina didn't know much about music, her immediate family really wasn't that musical, nor were any of her friends, but she knew that what she was looking at now was rare. She also knew that the previous confidence was slowly ebbing away, and if she didn't get up there quick, she would likely be out the back door before the music even began. When Ariana was done, Camila figured she would suck it up and take a barreling leap out of her comfort zone.

"Thanks everyone!" Ariana smiled into the dim light as she turned to gaze at Camila. "Now I've got a special something for you all, please welcome to the stage... Camila...what's your last name?"

"Cabello!" Dinah enunciated all three syllables from across the room, causing the audience to laugh. The Latina shot her smirking roommate a glare, then got to her feet.

"Camila Cabello." Ariana laughed as she spoke, gesturing for Camila to step up onto the small stage and sit behind the piano. There were some whistles from the crowd, all of which caused Camila to blush furiously, while the man lowered the mic so it was inches from her face. The girl half-wished she hadn't worn her hair half-tied up, seeing as it was nearly impossible to fiddle with it the way she normally did.

"Thanks." Camila spoke, shivering at the way her voice projected through the room. "I don't do this very often, so you'll have to go easy on me. I'm going to sing How Will I Know, by Whitney Houston."

A series of hoots and hollers later, Camila glanced over at Dinah, and could almost see her eyes bugging out of her head. She smiled to herself, placing her fingers over the keys. It had been a while since she had last played, but seeing as she was such a bookworm when she was younger, Camila had agreed to let her mom enrol her in a few piano lessons. Whitney Houston had always been playing in the house, so she had learnt the song, and perfected it long ago.

She let her fingers brush against the keys, closing her eyes and letting herself walk back to the warm nights, when her mother and father listened to their children sing together, or at least try their best. She let herself walk back to when she would sit next to her brother on the wooden piano bench, her feet just brushing the old carpet beneath them. When he would read the notes out to her, and she would bite her tongue in concentration as she kept up with him. Camila let herself run back to all the things she hadn't thought about in years.

***

Camila swung her legs back and forth with impatience, causing the old bench to creak slightly. Daniel Cabello had a small hand on her leg, an annoyed look on his face. "Don't do that Mila." He scolded gently. "This is grandpa's old bench, it might not hold all our weight."

"Sorry." Camila halted her movements and flexed her tiny fingers. "Ok. You promised to show me, now show me."

Dan rolled his eyes, flipping his dusty brown hair up against his forehead. "Okay, this is the song." He reached forward, shuffling some of his papers to show her one covered in notes. It looked almost handwritten, but Camila couldn't tell.

"Did you write this song?"

"No Mila." Dan laughed. "This was written by Whitney Houston, she's a very famous songwriter. Mom likes her singing, remember?"

"Then why does it look like your handwriting?" Camila was stretching her neck up to peer closely at the papers.

"That's because I re-wrote the music." Dan grinned. "I couldn't find the proper sheets in any of Dad's books, and it's not in any of the books I have. It's an older song which is a lot faster than how you're going to hear it now."

Camila's eyes glowed. "That's so cool."

Dan laughed again, placing his hands on the keys. "I'm going to play the lower register, you need to follow my movements on that side, okay?"

"Okay."

Camila went to work, keeping pace with her brother as he sang. When she got a hang of the chords, she was able to look up and read the words, following along with her own small voice.

"You know, you're not a bad singer Camila." The shaggy haired boy grinned down at her when they finished their first full run-through. "I think that when you get older, you'll be very talented."

"Really?" The young girl's eyes sparkled fiercely.

"Sure. I love music, and I want to be in a band one day. Maybe you could be my lead singer?"

Camila laughed. "That would be so fun!"

Daniel turned so he was looking his little sister straight in the eye. "Mila, will you try the junior talent show? I think you could win."

"I... I don't know." Camila nibbled on her nail. "I don't want people making fun of me."

"I'll hurt them if they make fun of you, loser." Dan grinned. "You don't need to worry about what people think, you just have to do what makes you happy, and what makes you the most comfortable. No matter what the world says, I want you to always believe in yourself." He paused. "You know, music is something that is really helpful if you're sad, that's why Dad sung to us when we were little. So you gotta promise me that no matter what happens, always keep singing. Promise?"

"Alright." Camila nodded. "I promise."

***

That promise had been broken when Daniel took off, severing any and all ties with his family. Camila hadn't as much as touched an instrument, and only sung rarely ever since then. The Latina pushed her intruding thoughts aside, took a deep breath, pressed down on the first chord, and starting to sing. She was a little shaky at first, but when the tune really hit her, her own voice was all she heard.

Dinah was sprawled out with her phone ready to go and her legs propped up comfortably. She wasn't sure what she was going to hear when Camila walked up to the stage and took a seat, but there was a look on her face that was filled with determination, and a hint of... sadness? Nevertheless, Dinah was prepared to get both of them out of there if it all went south.

Little did she know however, that south was the complete opposite of where this night was going, for when Camila opened her mouth, it was Dinah's jaw that hit the floor.

Her voice was unlike anything the girl had heard before. The song had been stripped down to a slow, soulful rendition that accented the highs and lows of the music. The piano fit with the mood perfectly, and Camila had her eyes closed, clearly deep in concentration. Dinah grabbed a quick video, sent it off to her roommates, then locked her phone, shoving it into her pocket. All she really wanted to do was watch.

How will I know if you're thinking of me...

I try to fall, but I'm too shy... can't speak

Falling in love is all bittersweet

This love is strong, why do I feel weak?

Dinah looked around, noticing immediately that it wasn't just her who was captivated by Camila's singing. The brunette had the entire room silent, every single person, including waitress and tech staff had frozen where they stood, and were listening to the way Camila drew out the note changes, and seamless transitions. There was an overwhelming sense of emotion in the way she sung, and Dinah couldn't quite place her finger on it. However, there was also something that Dinah could peg easily. Something that confirmed endlessly her ongoing suspicions about the girl.

When she was done, Camila opened her eyes and blinked through the light, looking around. A film of moisture had formed over her brown orbs, and a few tears were rolling down her cheeks only seconds later. The crowd was dead silent, not a single word was uttered until the last of the piano's vibrations drifted off into the air. When she nodded a soundless thanks and wiped her eyes, the entire room burst into a wave of clapping and cheering. Guys had their hats off, people were standing up in their seats, and even the Boathouse manager had emerged from his upper office to listen. She blushed, thanking the crowd and getting up, almost crashing into Ariana behind her.

"You're something else." The older girl grinned at her, meeting Camila at eye level. "I hope you know that." At the shout of her name, Ariana had disappeared into the crowd before she could even respond, but shrugged it off, jogging down to where her roommate was waiting. Camila was receiving multiple compliments from those she passed, sheepishly thanked each one of them, before being scooped up into a hug.

"You. Are. In. Credible."

Dinah looked down at her with a proud smile on her face. "Incredible." She repeated. "You are so incredible. Where the heck did you learn to sing like that? Why have you never mentioned you had the voice of a goddess?"

"Thanks." Camila's shoulders were almost up to her ears from the hug she was receiving, but her eyes were still a little puffy. "I guess I just taught myself. I dunno... singing isn't really my thing."

"Are you crying?"

"Sorry, no." Camila laughed, shuffling from Dinah's grip and wiping her eyes with the outside of her hand. "I'm just a little stunned."

"Well get your little ass ready for free drinks and phone numbers." Dinah replied. "Because you've got a serious night ahead of you."

And she did.

"Thank you for making me do this." Camila told Dinah as they loaded themselves into a taxi and headed home a few hours later. It wasn't too late, but the Latina had drank a little more than she initially had intended. At around eleven, guys were starting to buy drinks for her and Dinah, which was a pleasant addition to the night. "This was really fun."

"And now that I know you've got the voice of an angel, you're going to sing me to sleep, right?" Dinah tilted her head to the side, giving her lightly inebriated roommate a teasing glance.

"Wrong." The brunette grinned, sighing and leaning back in her seat. There had been something liberating about the night, as if Camila had taken a giant step in cutting the tether that held her to her past.

***

Lauren could both hear, and feel, the crunch of the freshly fallen snow that coated the pathway before her. Normally, the first few snowfalls were soft, fluffy snow that crumbled when you picked it up, but due to the unusually low temperatures, it gave off more of a squeaky sound. The girl shoved her hands into the pockets of her fur-hooded parka, and made her way further into Central Park. She had a large shopping bag on her wrist, the weight of which was quickly slowing her pace. "A week and a half until Miami." Lauren grumbled to herself as a whip of ice cold wind almost burnt her cheeks off. "Just a week and a half."

She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she wasn't exactly thrilled that Camila was so quick to agree to attend the open mic night. She wasn't exactly thrilled that Ariana had this flirtation thing going, and she definitely wasn't thrilled that Camila was so accepting of it. She knew that any of her roommates were free to see anyone they wanted. She also knew that she had absolutely no say in what Camila could, or couldn't do with her life. She didn't belong to anyone. Yet.

She was also a little annoyed that her nightmares were waking her roommates, and although she hadn't had any since the most troubling, she knew there was always going to be that risk. Lauren just wanted things to straighten themselves out, and fast. The girl didn't know how much "undercover loving" she could do without crumbling to pieces.

The one thing Lauren did know however, was how much this night was going to help her forget about her crummy personal life.

Lauren arrived at the familiar boathouse, and carefully stepped across the bridge towards the porch, and knocked on the door. It swung open a few seconds later to reveal an older man with a full head of grey hair, dressed in a buttoned up blue-black plaid shirt and grey slacks. Lauren's eyes lit up.

"Lauren!" The man exclaimed happily. "I'm so glad you made it, it's terribly cold out there, please come in!"

"Hi Brady, thank you so much for giving me a call." She set the bags down and began to remove her boots carefully. The familiarity of the lakeside building was comforting, and for some reason, it immediately reminded her of Camila.

"Oh are you kidding? We were hoping to god you would find time out of that insane schedule of yours to bless us with a little visit. The kids just finished up dinner actually, they're upstairs." Brady looked like an older, more chiselled version of Jake Gyllenhaal, with his kind eyes and longer face. When dressed as he was, he looked like your typical grandpa, and his kind disposition towards his grandchildren was further demonstration of just that.

"Lauren!" A woman's voice rang out from the other side of the room. Lauren smiled when she saw Olivia holding open the door to the back section of the house. "You're here!" The woman made her way over to give Lauren a hug. "Oh the kids will be delighted, let me take those things from you."

Lauren thanked her, then followed the couple back into the cozy living area and seated herself down onto one of the couches.

"Boys!" Brady boomed up the stairs that led to the second floor. "Lauren's here! Come on downstairs please!"

There was a moment of quiet, and the older man tried again. "Boys, I mean it. Come down here now, don't make me count to three!"

"You'll have to forgive them." Olivia smiled kindly as the sound of feet began thundering on the floor above. "This is their first week off for the Christmas break, and with the weather, there's hardly anything they can find to do to keep their energy at bay. It's been a crazy time, and their parents just needed a little time off, so we've got them for the next few days.

Lauren laughed. "Trust me, I could use some youthful energy in my life right now. Exams are pretty brutal this-."

"LAUREN!" A voice interrupted her as a small body came dashing across the room and leapt into her outstretched arms. Lauren had gotten up from where she sat and knelt down on one knee when she saw the kids coming down the hall. The boy was small with massive green orbs that were glittering with excitement; his hair a dusty brown, and looked like it had just been tussled around his face. Just after he wrapped his tiny arms around her neck as best he could, he quickly stood up and smiled proudly, his hands on his hips. "Look how tall I am now!"

"Hey sweetie, oh my gosh you've grown so much!" Lauren laughed as the little boy beamed proudly. She placed her hands just on his little waist, keeping him upright.

"Connor, how about you tell Lauren how old you are now? It's been a while since she's seen you." Olivia called from the kitchen.

Connor furrowed his brow for a moment, then held up three fingers. "Three." He answered with a massive toothy grin.

"Three already? Oh my goodness, you need to stop growing up so fast." She grinned as she straightened out his royal blue button up and began de-wrinkling his cuffs. The other boys were just jogging in, and stopped when they stood just behind the youngest.

"Hi Lauren!" Grant and Jason spoke in perfect unison, causing Lauren's heart to melt. "Merry Christmas!"

"Hey guys!" Lauren stood up and gave them both hugs, grinning at Evan, who was shyly scratching at the back of his neck. "Hey you." She reached out and flicked his chin between her thumb and forefinger. All four boys looked quite similar, meaning it was easy to deduce that they were all related. Connor still had a lot of his baby face, fit with small lips and puffy cheeks dashed with young freckles. Grant and Jason were identical, although Grant had a small mole near the corner of his mouth, so it wasn't much trouble to tell them apart. Evan was a little older, and Lauren knew that even though he was just a kid, he was going to be gorgeous when he got older. They all were.

"Hi." The eldest said with a meek smile.

"Are any of you going to ask Lauren how she is?" Brady asked his grandchildren as he took a seat in his leather recliner and pulled out a book.

"Will you take us outside?!" Grant chirped noisily. "Grandma and Grandpa said they wouldn't because it's too cold." He threw a pout over at the man in the chair, whose attention was now on the reading material in his hands.

"Alright, I guess not." Brady mumbled as he turned his attention to the pages before him. "They're all yours Lauren."

Needless to say, ten minutes later all four boys were dressed in heavy winter wear, and parading out the door. Lauren carried Connor out on her back as the older boys darted out on the thick ice and began readying an arsenal of snowballs. "I wanna skate." He said as she led him out to where there was a small cleared patch of ice and set him down on his feet. She then knelt down, folding her legs underneath her and ignoring the sharp cold that now riddled her knees.

"Don't let go of my hand." She told him as he took a few wobbly steps. She laughed as he tried to gain his balance, and caught him before he could tumble over. "Careful buddy."

"I wanna be a hockey player when I get older." Connor declared as he made a swooshing sound with his lips.

Lauren drifted for a moment, back to earlier that day when her roommates asked her why she wanted to go out onto the ice. She wanted to take her phone out and snap a picture of the boy, then wave it in their faces, but she knew that would mean taking away from the time she could be spending just watching him. And it was a good thing she was watching him, for three seconds later, a hard packed snowball came sailing out of nowhere and almost hit him in the back of the head. Luckily, Lauren had an arm wrapped around him, and had caught the snow, letting it break into clumps and fall to the ground.

"Careful guys." She called, a warning tone in her voice. "You almost hit your brother."

"Sorry Lauren, it won't happen again!" One of the twins called. Lauren nodded approvingly, then quickly formed a second ball of snow and hurled it clean across the way. It smacked Evan square in the back, and he stumbled slightly before spinning around.

"Wow!" He gushed after brushing his coat off. "You have such a sweet throw!"

"I played a little softball in high school." Lauren shrugged. "Just be careful, alright?"

"Can you teach us?!" The others yelped as they ran towards her. The Latina then spent the next ten minutes teaching the brothers how to put as much power and accuracy into their throw as they could. She made sure to also keep a close eye on the youngest, who was determined to stay on two feet as he made his way across the ice. She was there to catch him, and hoist him up over his shoulder with a laugh whenever he started to fall.

There was something about the purity and the sheer innocence of the children that made Lauren's heart happy. She was relieved however, when the cold finally settled in, and they agreed to return to the house.

"Tea?" Olivia offered as she picked up Lauren's bags and brought them over to where she now sat. "You look like you could be coming down with something, we've got lemon."

"That would be lovely, thank you." Lauren nodded with a smile. She loved how the older woman always seemed to know exactly what was going on with her. "Boys, I got you a little something." She grinned as the boys shrugged off all their clothes. At the notion of gifts, the children all rushed her at once.

"What'didya get us?!" Jason yelped as he began tugging on the hem of Lauren's shirt. "Did you get us something cool?"

Lauren laughed. "Come here." She led the boys over to the bag, and sat herself down on the arm of the couch. Evan disappeared into the kitchen momentarily to speak to his grandma. "Okay, sit." She instructed, waiting until the boys seated themselves on the couch below her. Connor had wedged himself in between the twins, and his shoulders were up by his ears with excitement.

"Alright, seeing as I'm not going to be in the city for Christmas, so I figured I would get you guys your gifts a little bit early." She began, lifting the bag and pulling it over to her feet. "Grant and Jason, this is for the two of you." She pulled out one box and handed it to the twin nearest to her while the other jumped over Connor and wiggled himself to sit closer. Lauren laughed, reaching forward to grab the youngest boy and lift him up so he sat on her knee. She began scuffing at his back until his small frown turned into a smile.

"What about me?"

"This..." Lauren reached down and grabbed another wrapped box. "Is for you."

The boy's eyes lit up. He took the box and lay it on his lap, then started to tear mercilessly at the packaging. All of the stress that sat on Lauren's shoulders began to wash away as she watched the boys unwrap like it was Christmas morning. When the twins realized that they were now looking at a set of two nerf guns, there was a loud line of shouts and screeches, followed by the complete demolition of the packaging. Connor was squealing on her lap when he saw his new Star Wars Lego set, the one he had begged his parents for the last time Lauren had seen him.

Evan returned with a cup of tea on a saucer in his hands, and was focusing on not dropping the hot liquid. "This is for you." He said sweetly as he set the cup down on the coffee table. "Did you want milk or sugar?"

"I'm fine, thanks sweetie." She replied as the older boy eyed his brothers, who were busy unwrapping. "There's something for you in that bag though."

Evan walked over and took the bag, peering inside. "Oh my god!" He shouted, as his entire face lit up like the fourth of July. "You got me a skateboard?!"

"Oh Lauren. You didn't have to do this." Olivia was gazing at her grandchildren, who had now assembled on the carpet and were tearing into their new toys. "They have more than enough, you're too sweet."

Lauren shrugged. "I wasn't going to show up without anything." She said with a grin, taking a sip of her tea. "They're the sweetest kids in the world."

"They're parents are going to love this." Brady was laughing from across the room. He had put down his book now, and was helping Connor break into the small packages that held his new figurines. "The boys have been asking for Nerf guns all year, Evan is the only boy in his class without a proper skateboard, and Connor's new thing is Star Wars. How on earth did you know?"

"I took a shot." Lauren shrugged again.

"Do the four of you have something you need to say to Lauren?" Olivia asked as she folded her arms and tilted her chin down. "She's waiting."

"Thank you Lauren!" The boys all came at her at once, and the Latina attempted to encircle as much of them as possible into a hug. She felt like the favourite aunt, or the crazy cousin of the family, and it was making her feel all fuzzy inside.

"You're welcome guys." She laughed, as all but Connor returned to their gifts. Lauren hoisted the toddler up and let him snuggle against her chest, and she shivered with happiness as he looped his arms around her neck. "Are you sleepy?" She asked softly, knowing that he was the only one who could hear her over the screeches of joy from his brothers.

"Mmhm." Connor murmured as he shifted to lie against her collarbone. She brought her arms around him, and began playing with the hem of his shirt. "Can you stay?"

"I'll stay for a little bit, yeah." She replied with a smile, rubbing his back.

"No. Stay forever." Connor corrected her. "Mommy and Daddy don't get us gifts like you do. You're the best."

Lauren giggled, reaching into her pocket and pulling out her phone that had been incessantly buzzing for the last five minutes. Checking the home screen over Connor's shoulder, she saw five notifications from Dinah. Video messages.

It was a risky move opening a video from Dinah Jane when there were children in the room, but she turned the volume all the way down, and hit play on the first. In the shaky frame was a shot of Camila, sitting behind a piano. She let out a little breath of surprise, causing the small boy to stir.

"Who is that?" He asked, shuffling around so he was peering at the screen.

Lauren let the video play. "She's my friend." The Latina explained. "I think she's- oh my gosh." Lauren's voice trailed off as she clicked the volume up button and her roommate's voice hit her like a truck. Camila wasn't just a good singer in the way Lauren had pegged her to be. She had fucking talent. Even the crappy smartphone quality was capturing her raw, scratchy voice perfectly in the mere ten seconds of pure Whitney.

"She's good at singing." Connor murmured as he watched, his eyes glowing. When the video ended, his lips curled into a pout. "Play it again."

"I..." Lauren was trying to make words happen, but was failing miserably. "I can't baby. I'm sorry."

Connor made a soft sighing noise, then leaned back against her body and closed his eyes.

"Hey Lauren, Evan wants to know if you have a boyfriend." Jason called as he loaded his gun with small foam darts. He laughed as he finished, looking at his older brother with a smirk. Evan had an incredulous look on his face, accompanied with a massive blush.

"Tell him no." Lauren called back with a grin. She knew there was a rouge rising in her cheeks from thinking about where her actual love life stood.

"He wants to know if you'll be his girlfriend." Grant teased before he was bowled over by Evan, who had an angry look on his face.

"No I don't! Shut up!"

"No! Me!" Connor suddenly shouted as he looked over at his brothers with a pout. "Lauren likes me the best!"

Everyone in the room got quiet as they stared at Connor with wide eyes. Then all at once, they burst into melodious laughter as the youngest just blinked in confusion.

Lauren laughed as well, sliding down onto the couch and letting the small boy rest against her body. She watched Brady start to battle it out with the twins, and Evan propel himself around the room sitting on his board. A few minutes later, the steady rise and fall of Connor's torso told her that he had fallen asleep.

Lauren spent the next hour or so just observing the carefree attitudes of children on Christmas break, and completely forgot about the things going on in her life. When it was about time to herd them into bed, she said goodnight and goodbye to the older boys, and stood up with a sleeping Connor still in her arms.

"Can I give him to you?" She asked Olivia quietly as Connor's soft snores could be heard against her shoulder. "I don't want to wake him."

"Yes, let me take him off your hands, but not without a picture first." The woman nodded kindly. Lauren laughed, turning so Olivia could remove a phone from her back pocket. The older woman snapped a quick picture, then placed the phone down on the counter with grin. Lauren was surprised she was able to get in and out without a single question as to how to take the photo. The Latina had to teach her own mom how to take webcam photos on the family laptop in the den at least six times before Clara got the hang of it. Now she was the head of the Jauregui twitter handle.

As Olivia lifted the toddler into her own arms, Connor stirred, a confused look on his face. "No!" His eyes welled up in tears as he blinked awake. "I want Lauren."

"Lauren has to go honey, she's very busy."

Connor wasn't having any of it, and although Lauren knew very little about caring for children, she could recognize a tantrum on the horizon when she saw one.

"Come here." Lauren lifted the boy back while a crash sounded upstairs. Olivia muttered something under her breath.

"I'm sorry, just give me a minute. Connor, you need to go to bed, please say your goodbyes." The woman hurried away as a medley of shouts began from the second floor.

Lauren put Connor down, and knelt down so she was eye level with him. "I have to go for now, okay?" She asked softly. "And you need to go get some rest." She took his arms within her hands, pressing her thumbs against the inside of his forearms in a gentle act of comfort.

"But I don't want you to go." He pouted, sniffling as his eyes moistened.

"Oh my god." Lauren hugged the little boy, squeezing him as tight as she could. It was moments like this that made the girl wish she could take the kid home herself. "How about this." She proposed when she pulled away. "You go to bed and get some sleep, and I promise that I'll come back to visit you as soon as I can."

"Promise?" He sniffled.

"I promise." Lauren hooked her pinky around his tiny one. "Will you be good?"

Connor smiled, nodding vigorously.

"Do you promise?" Lauren tilted her chin up and raised one eyebrow playfully.

"Promise!" Connor laughed, jumping in for one last hug before Lauren stood up and nudged him in the direction of the hallway. He turned back and waved at her, and she watched as he climbed the small set of stairs slowly, waving right until he was out of sight.

The Latina let out a breath as Olivia reappeared. "I don't know what you just did, but that boy is already brushing his teeth, so god bless you." The woman laughed.

"Thank you for coming by today Lauren." Brady stepped through the door from the front room. He had excused himself for a moment to ensure everything on the outside was locked up. "They really do love you, it's adorable."

Lauren shrugged. "They're amazing." She said simply. It was all she could think to say as she began folding up the bag she had brought and cramming it into her jacket pocket. "Thank you for having me."

"We'll have to have you back sometime." Brady nodded. "You're welcome here whenever, you know that."

Lauren smiled, hugging the couple as she made her way to the front door. "Just so you know, whoever you're pining over is pretty damn lucky." He added, while Olivia began nodding behind him in agreement. Lauren looked up momentarily from her boots.

"Huh?"

"Oh dear." Olivia chuckled. "Has no one noticed yet that you've got the word "enamoured" plastered on your face? Whoever this fella is must be all kinds of handsome."

Lauren bit her lip. Was she really becoming that readable? "Actually... the fella is a girl." Lauren tried not to stumble over her words. "My roommate. I actually brought her here that night, she loved it."

"Oh my, that's just wonderful." Olivia clasped her hands together happily. "I bet she's beautiful. How long have you two been...?"

"Oh no." Lauren trailed her fingers through her hair sheepishly. "We're not together, I just... it's a crush." Lauren could feel another blush rising. She knew very well that it was far more than just a crush. "We're good friends."

"Tell her how you feel." Brady grinned with a hand on Lauren's shoulder. "Or show her. If you love someone enough, there's no such thing as a risk too large." His wife gave a little laugh from behind him, rolling her eyes.

"He's not wrong."

"I know." Lauren nodded. "I'm just... nervous."

"What is it that you're nervous of?"

"She's..." Lauren scratched idly at the back of her neck, her eyes down on the floor. "She's just really..." Lauren tried to come up with a word to best describe Camila without sounding cliché, but nothing was popping up. "Special." The girl concluded. "She's really special, and I don't want to ruin anything between us."

"Well I know you'll find a way to work it out." The man assured her.

Lauren thanked them, then bid goodbye to the couple and made her way back out of the park, guided solely by the streetlights. She then took a cab to the library, and spent the rest of the night in Ally's office, using the brunette's computer to do some last minute note-primping. At around 1 am, she took the express bus back home, tired, and definitely ready for bed.

***

"I'm home." Lauren called softly as she walked in the front door. There weren't many lights on, but the mountain of shoes in the hall indicated that everyone had returned. It also smelt like macaroni and cheese – which meant that Dinah had been hard at work preparing an elaborate midnight snack.

"Hey." Dinah padded downstairs quickly. "Okay, before you get any further, I need to tell you something but you can't get mad, alright?"

"What did you break?" Lauren sighed as she shrugged off her jacket. A part of her was still on cloud nine from the night.

"Nothing, but I admired your faith in me." Dinah muttered. "Camila had a little too much to drink tonight, and she's just upstairs about to fall asleep." Lauren frowned, but didn't have a chance to interject before the girl continued to ramble. "She's totally fine, Ariana and I kept a close eye on her all night, and we didn't actually leave the open mic night."

"Okay." Lauren said casually as she walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. "That's fine."

"You're not angry?"

'Why would I be angry?"

Dinah looked down at her feet. "I dunno, because you're really protective of her, and I figured you'd kinda be pissed if we were to let her drink?"

"What am I going to say to her, you're never allowed to have a good time?" Lauren asked as she twisted the cap and took a long sip. "She can handle herself."

Dinah shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat." The girl replied kindly. "But I will tell you that Mila has a serious voice on her."

Lauren raised her eyebrows while Dinah continued.

"I mean she sang tonight, and she's so talented." Dinah chuckled. "You should have been there. I sent you a video."

"Yeah, I got it." Lauren nodded quickly. "Thanks."

"Alright, goodnight Lo." Dinah quickly made her way back up the stairs, and Lauren didn't let out the breath she was holding until she heard her bedroom door close with a click. She then ascended the staircase herself and opened Camila's door, sliding inside.

"Camila?" She asked softly, stepping over to her bed and sitting on the edge.

"Dinah?" Camila sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes. "Did you bring me my tea?"

Lauren chuckled, setting the bottle of water down on the girl's night table. It was in Dinah's nature to promise tea, then completely forget. "It's me." She corrected her. "I just got home."

"Wow, it's late." Camila mumbled as she squinted at her phone screen and recalled the earlier conversation she had with Dinah. "What were you doing?"

"Library." Lauren replied. "How are you feeling? Dinah said you had drank a little too much."

"I'm fine." Camila assured her. "The worst of it is over, it was just a little bit more than I had hoped. By the way Ariana is really amazing. She's so talented, you should come and watch sometime. They do discounted prices for students."

"Sounds fun."

"It is, I swear. Oh, and she invited all of us to go to a little bit of a thing when exams are done, kind of like a celebration. It's not anything as intense as Hunter's, just a few friends and a causal get-together at her place. She's famous for her little house parties."

"Were you going to go?" Lauren asked as she grabbed the bottle and offered it to her roommate.

"Not sure." Camila replied with a shake of the head. "I mean if you were to come, then yeah. I think I would consider it. Ariana is actually super nice, and I think she likes me."

"Do you like her?" Lauren's pulse picked up.

"Kind of, I mean I don't know." Camila shrugged innocently. "It's not so much her than it is the prospect of genuine people being interested in me. I'm kinda nervous... I never really thought that I'd be into girls." She admitted. "But I don't know. Maybe things change?"

Lauren crossed her legs underneath her neatly, turning her body so she was facing her roommate. "Camila." She spoke, her voice much more urgent than she had meant for it to be. "I..."

"Are you alright?" Camila was frowning. Her own legs were extended down the length of the mattress, and Lauren sat just near her knees. She pressed her palms against the bed, propping herself up. "You don't look so good."

"It's nothing, sorry." Lauren breathed. "I should let you sleep."

Camila reached out and grabbed Lauren's knee, gripping it tight. She furrowed her brow. "Lauren I'm serious. Are you okay?" She saw a clouded-over look in Lauren's eyes, something that was unrecognizable. It looked like she was holding something in, the likely candidate being tears.

Lauren nodded slowly, trying to pull herself from her roommate's grip. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright, that's all." The Latina brushed her fingers through her hair, teasing it up and to the side as she looked down at her hands which were folded in her lap. Camila didn't move her own.

"Lauren, talk to me." Camila pushed. "You know I was there too when you had that nightmare. Please, if there's something going on with you, you know you can just talk to me and we can sort it out together remember?"

Lauren moved forward silently, curling her arms around the smaller girl's waist and resting against her body. Camila backed up against the wall and wrapped Lauren in her own grip, closing her eyes when a warm breath tickled her collarbone. When she opened them, she noticed something marked in black on the nape of Lauren's neck. "What is that?" Camila questioned softly, breaking the silence and diverting the conversation. "Do you have a tattoo?"

"Yeah." Lauren mumbled. She could feel herself getting drowsier as the minutes passed. Right when Camila had noticed her tattoo, she had noticed something on Camila's arms as well. There were marks made with black sharpie running all over her biceps and forearms, and Lauren could just make out the shape of numbers. Phone numbers. Of course. She shut her eyes, forcing herself to forget she had even noticed as she responded. "You can take a look."

"I had no idea you had this." Camila reached around to gather Lauren's hair and set it to the side. When it came into full view, she saw it was a dragonfly, marked with intricate swirls on the wings and body. "It's beautiful." Camila admired the ink, brushing her fingers over the pattern. She felt Lauren shiver under her touch, her eyes still closed. "What is it for?... I mean if you don't mind me asking."

"My grandmother, my dad's mom." Lauren replied softly. "She died when I was mid-way through high school. Dragonflies are beautiful... she loved them, and that really rubbed off on me."

Camila studied the image closer. "That's really beautiful. But... does it not bother you that you can't see it without two mirrors?" She asked, hoping the question wasn't too intrusive.

"Nah." Lauren replied. "You don't have to physically see something... or someone, to know that they're there. My dad's mom just died recently, and I want to get another one for her as well. Eventually."

"That's awesome." Camila admired the ink further as she spoke. "But you didn't mention it when we had that awkward conversation about the freckle on your boob."

Lauren giggled quietly. She hadn't opened her eyes since she had lay down. "My hair covers the back of my neck most of the time anyway, even when it's tied up. There's so much of it, that you usually can't see the tattoo. I guess it was just something for me, rather than common knowledge."

"Well I like it." Camila slid down the wall and braced herself on her shoulders as she drew Lauren closer.

Camila watched her roommate's features furrow into a soft frown, her eyes still closed. At the same time, she felt the girl curl her hands into fists, balling them up against the loose fabric of her shirt. She could tell there was something off, but the quiet was so relaxing from a night of blaring music, that she held her tongue. "I'm tired." Camila heard Lauren say after a few more moments of comfortable silence. Her voice was characteristically low. "I'm so fucking tired Camila."

Camila just nodded in understanding, despite how much she truly didn't.

Lauren could have spent the rest of the night there, just wrapped up comfortably in her roommate, but she knew that it was only going to make her crazy. I'm not lying around here and watching you fall for someone else. She decided silently as she focused her gaze on the accentuated line of Camila's protruding clavicle. It had always been the part of the body she loved the most on both men and women, solely because of how elegant it looked. Lauren waited until Camila was just about to doze off, to slowly peel from her grasp and stumble to her feet. "Night Camz." She whispered, scooping her up and moving her down on the bed so she rested properly on the pillow.

Camila was awake, but didn't have a chance to answer before Lauren slipped out of the room soundlessly. When her bedroom door closed again, she leaned back against her pillow and frowned up at the ceiling. She didn't have an explanation as to why, but it was clear that whatever was bothering Lauren was beginning to bother her as well.

When Camila awoke a few hours later to use the washroom, she sat up to see a steaming hot cup of lemon herbal tea sitting on her bedside table.

***

Lauren loved that the app let her replay the snapchat once before it was thrown to the cyberspace landfill forever. She folded her legs beneath her, flipped her hair over one shoulder, plugged in her headphones, and watched intently as Camila sang.

How will I know if you're thinking of me...

I try to fall, but I'm too shy... can't speak

Falling in love is all bittersweet

This love is strong, why do I feel weak?

She leaned back against the wall of her bedroom, slumping down until her shoulders were almost on the ground. Lauren knew the song. She knew very well what the next few words were, and as much as she wanted to just get up and sing them, she could barely get herself up off the ground.

***

A/N: I'm sorry this took so damn long, there's a lot of shit going on right now with me, but I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter (We're just south of 15k words. Yikes.). I found that I wasn't really feeling this chapter for a while and I didn't want to give you something I wasn't fully happy with, so it took some more time. This whole thing may seem a little out of place and random, but it's going to make sense eventually, I promise. Also the next chapter will bring a serious Camren spike, you guys have been super patient.

I also wanted to give you a few quick notes about the music in this chapter:

1 - Ariana Grande has a cover of Vienna, that's which is what inspired her performance

2 - The acoustic rendition of "How Will I Know" is based off of the cover by Sam Smith. The words are different from the original, and I chose that passage of the song for a reason, hopefully it's pretty clear. Listening to this during that whole section is really nice, especially Camila's flashback.

Thanks, and please feel free to leave feedback, suggestions and criticism - I really love hearing from you.

~ Rory

P.s. keep in mind Camila's flashback would ideally be in Spanish, but I'm Canadian, so the only Spanish I know is from Dora the Explorer. <3