Cévon P.O.V
I sat up and looked around the room feeling confused. This ain't my house.
I looked next to me and saw Cordell sleeping peacefully making me relax and lay back down. Cordell? How the fuck did I even get here? I wonder what happened last night. Last thing I remember is going to a party and drinking...oh yea then I called him.
I don't remember shit after that, but I hope I wasn't too embarrassing. I was drinking anything last night. I stood up noticing my closed were changed into basketball shorts and a white t. He changed me outta my jeans? Good shit.
I walked to his bathroom quietly not to wake him and opened up his medicine cabinet. I need some toothpaste. I saw pack of new toothbrushes in the cabinet making me mentally cheer as I grabbed the black one out and brushed my teeth. I used his mouth wash too. I could replace it if he gets upset. I out the little cap thing on my tooth brush and put it into the toothbrush holder before washing my face. Once I was done with my mini hygiene I walked back into the room seeing him now up and on his phone.
When I walked into the room he gave me a small smile waving at me.
"Good morning. You get some good rest?" He asked me standing up and stretching wildly making something move in his shorts. Is he free balling? Is that his dick?? Is my dick 8 inches yet his looks bigger?!
I wonder how that nigga P was taking that shit. He got a whole third leg and I'm not even exaggerating. His shit on soft too so I can only im-
Wait...why am I imagining that shit anyway? He's not fucking me ever!
"Y-Yea. I slept fine. I got drunk again...don't remember shit from last night you wanna give me a run down on any vital moments?" I asked him as he chuckled walking out of the room and into his bathroom.
"Nope," he spoke making me look at him confused.
"What nigga? You can't just say no! Tell me what the fuck happened," I said to him irritated now as he shook his head while brushing his teeth.
"You don't wanna know. You not gone do shit, but cuss me out and then leave for another couple of months. You didn't do anything illegal not that you would care," he spoke being shady.
"Bitch just fucking tell me what I sai-,"
"You said that you liked me. That the only reason you ghosted me was to try and figure yourself out and to try and get over yo feelings for me at first. You got drunk and said fuck it though because you really missed me and hit me up to come get you from the party which is why you here. Then you told me I make you the happiest you've ever been since yo brother died and asked me if I was Asian, but proceeded to tel. Me how you couldn't stop thinking about the kiss and that we both had nigga lips," he spoke washing his face before walking back into the room.
"Well? Are you Asian?" I asked him lowly making him straight face me.
"See I'm not about to pl-,"
"I'm fucking with you Cordell. Chill out. You Japanese right? I remember asking you to speak it out you wouldn't," I told him as he nodded his head putting on his shoes. "Why you putting shoes on?"
"You don't wanna go home?" He asked me freezing making me shrug.
"I mean...did those words leave my mouth?" I questioned making him take his shoes back off and get back in his bed.
"Cev, did you mean anything you said or were you just drunk?" He said clasping his hands together like he was cutting to the chase. "Just be real with me right now,"
"...I mean...I meant what i said about you making me happy. Like I deadass be smiling and laughing with you more than anything and it's true that the last time I was happy like that was with my brother...," I told him feeling myself grow nervous as he nodded his head.
Aight, I may like this nigga, but shit is still weird to me because how the fuck did this happen? I've been the ladies man my whole life and then I magically just start liking a whole ass grown ass man?! It doesn't make any sense to me and I still don't feel like it's real. Like I just cant believe that k got feelings for him. I know he's like a valid ass nigga and shit, but I've been around vamos niggas before so why him? Is it because he like some so im making myself like him or something?
Im so fucking lost.
"Ok, what about the other part? Do you have feelings for me?" He asked me as I just stared at him.
Yes. Im not supposed to though. Nothing wrong with it, but Im just not gay. Maybe I do only like him, but I don't know why or how.
Im really battling my sexuality all because of this big goofy ass East side nigga. Just like a east side nigga to do some fuck shít like this. This nigga got in my head and now all I think about is his white flag wearing ass!
"I don't know...," I replied shrugging. He got up and walked over to me making me back up until my back hit the wall.
"Cev, it's ok to like me. I know you still tryna figure everything out, but if im making you happy like you say then why can't you figure yoself out wit me? I went through the same shit when k came of age and realized that I was actually gay. You might not even be gay it could just be me because I make you feel good and happy," he spoke looking down at me.
"Ain't that bad though if I only like you cause of how you make me feel?" I asked him. "I ain't never had this type of convo before especially not with no nigga. I never been in a real relationship,"
"Is that the only reason you feel you like me? Is because of how I make you feel?" He asked me as I looked at him.
"I like yo personality and how you treat me and shit. It's like both. You treat me good and you make me feel happy and shit, but I also like yo personality and yo mindset and yo face. Yo person is coo, but I just never liked a guy before so it's making me feel weird. I know I'm grown and if you make me happy I should just say fuck everything else, but it's not that easy...," I told him as he smiled at me.
"Is the only thing bothering you the fact that I'm a nigga? Like if I was a girl shit would be coo right?" He asked me as I nodded my head. "Aight then I'm about to bullshit you real quick...stop focusing on my gender and just focus on us. Focus on me as a person and out my gender behind you. I know it's probably impossible, but just see me for me. We have fun together and I make you feel good, my gender doesn't matter. I'm not gone do anything you don't want me to though and I'm not tryna make you feel uncomfortable. With that being said you still wanna stay here with me or want me to take you home?"
"I still wanna stay," I mumbled looking at him. I think I only like him.
I need to talk to Nori and Itrez later...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took a big ass bite outta my burger sighing at the taste as Nori looked at me before looking back down at her food.
"Nori you got sum to say?" I asked her as he looked at me and then Itrez.
"Nope. I'm good," she spoke making me sigh and sit my burger down.
"Just say that shit. I know you wanna talk about it still and I know you know I'm coming from his place so just say it?" I spoke making her nod her head.
"Are you and Dell in a relationship?" She asked me making me shake my head.
"No. I'm single and he's single," I told her as she nodded her head looking at Itrez.
"Well, do you like him?" She asked me as Itrez looked at us confused.
"So when I was in the car the other day I was right about him turning you into a booty warrior?!" He questioned making me sigh.
"I'm not gay, dick. I think I just like him," I replied lowly as Nori smiled hard and starting doing a little cheer in her seat.
"Wasn't no girls that you could like my nigga?" He asked me making me side eye him.
"If there was would I be liking a nigga? Nobody make me feel like him so...he make me happy and shít when I'm with him," I told him as he laughed.
"Damn brother man really gotta boyfriend! I'm finna start calling you fruit cup. For real though if you happy then I'm happy gang," he spoke making me stick up my middle finger.
"Fuck you. Thanks though. We're not together though and I might tmot even take it there with him, but I'm just telling y'all I like him so if y'all start seeing him around a lot more don't be weird and shit and don't say no embarrassing shit," I told them as I ate some fried before taking another bit elf my burger.
"We embarrassments to you?" Itrez asked me a sign nodded my head.
"You are for sure, dumbass," I spoke making him mock me and kick my leg. "Ow you dumb bitch!"
"You two are like children," Nori spoke making us both look at her.
"Shut up,"
"Shut up," we said at the same time making her smack her lips and sit back in the chair.
"Well damn," she spoke rolling her eyes and taking out her phone. I heard a knock on my front door making me grow nervous as I stood up.
"You two better be on your best fucking behavior or I swear to god!" I spoke as they both waved me off. I unlocked the door and opened them letting him into my crib. I then closed them and locked them back looking at him. "Hey...,"
"You don't have to change how you act around me. Wassup Cev," he told me quietly so only k would hear him. That made me feel better.
"So I don't have to act all...yaknow? I don't wanna b-,"
"I like you for you. Everything that comes with so be yourself. Perks of talking to a guy we can be like bros with other perks," he spoke with a small smile.
"What type of perks?" I asked him making him chuckle.
"You wanna find out?" He asked me making me get butterflies.
"You gay as fuck," I spoke walking over to the couch and sitting down. "Say hello to Cordell niggas,"
"Gimmie a second to do it bro," Nori spoke rolling her eyes. "Wassup Dell. You chillin wit us today?"
"Yep. I didn't have anything to do today and he invited me over so I pulled up," he spoke making me feel weird. Why you tell them I invited you over? Like I'm thirsty...
I'm just on edge I'm nervous as fuck right now for no reason. I'm not really mad at him for saying that I'm just having dialogue in my head to distract myself from whatever they're talking about.
"We having a cookout at the island in a couple of weeks. While it's still warm out. It's gon be like a picnic , but we gone grill the food there. You should come," Itrez told him a si looked at him.
"If it's ok wit Cev then yea I'll pop out. I need to bring anything?" He asked Itrez making me look over at Nori who was already looking at me and smiling.
"Oh I like this nigga. He wanna bring shit? Keep him around forever Cev," Itrez spoke making me sigh.
"Can you shut the fuck up and Can you stop smiling at me? Y'all about to piss me off," I spoke making Nori laugh.
"Ooo, so feisty!" She spoke making me roll my eyes as I finished my food. I heard another knock on my front door making me get up and check who it was.
"Itrez, TaTa out here," I spoke opening the door.
"Tell her I'm not here," he spoke ducking down.
"I can hear you dumb ass! Bring yo ass!" She spoke making him groan and get up walking out the door with her.
"Love you nigga I'll see you around," he spoke walking with her to her car before getting in. I wonder what the fuck he got going on.
"Where you going?" I asked her as she smiled at me.
"To get some pussy. My girlfriend is home," she spoke excitedly making me gag and dodge her as she tried to hit me.
"Don't leave me here with him," I spoke making her chuckle.
"You're gonna be ok Cev. Just be yourself and relax. I'll hit you up later ok? I love you and if you seriously need me just ca me and I'll come back. You'll be fine though," she spoke hugging me before walking away and heading towards her house. I sighed closing and locking my door before walking back over to the couch quietly. It was awkward as fuck.
He wasn't saying shit and neither was I. I didn't know what to do or what to say. But he did tell me to be myself and shit. Fuck Cévon.
"I'll be back," I spoke getting your and throwing away my empty food container before walking to my bathroom and brushing my teeth quickly before splashing my face with water and looking at myself in the mirror. "Come on Cévon. You a grown as man who's not afraid of any one or anything. Why you acting like this in front of a nigga you've been around a thousand times now?! Grow some fucking balls man. Just go out there and chill wit the nigga. You don't have to do anything you not ready for and y'all are only watching tv. Just take a deep breath and knock these nerves off. You like the nigga and he knows about it, but it's ok,"
I took a deep breath after talking to myself and dried my face off walking out to the living room seeing him look up at me.
"Do you want me leave? I heard you asking Nori not to leave you here a minute ago. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything," he spoke as I sighed.
"Nah. You good I'm just nervous now that's it's only us here," I told him truthfully making him chuckle.
"Why? What do you think we're about to do? Just think of this as how we normally hang out and chill with eachother," he shrugged picking up his phone.
"It's not the same though cause you know some shit," I explained as he looked at me.
"Ok, but once again what do you think is gonna happen? We're just watching tv Cev. Act like you didn't tell me," he spoke chuckling making me smack my lips.
"Don't talk to me," I spoke making me roll his eyes.
"And we're back. Whatchu do today? Did you talk to Og about the money?" He asked me as I shook my head.
"Nah ain't no use cause he ain't gone say shit. I think something up with that nigga though and he was saying the same shit as that nigga P when I talked to him. All I know is I better get my money. I feel like niggas are playing with me," I told him making him sigh.
"You really think P would do that though?" He asked me making me side eye him.
"That's yo boyfriend nigga you tell me since you wanna defend him. He set this shit up to ask him if he fucking is over," I spoke irritated as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder making me move closer to him accidentally.
"That's not my boyfriend Cev and we're not friends anymore. I went to his house to hang out and he got made because he thought I was about to leave him to come get yo drunk ass from the party. He went off on me for wanting a relationship, but not with him after everything that him and I went through," he explained to me making me look at him.
"You sad about that shit or something? If you wanna go be wit him you can. I mean it's probably a better fit for you any way cause you already fucking him and what not," I told him shrugging and removing his arm from around me.
"I'm not supposed to be bothered by the fact I lost one of my friends Cev? And he's not who I want that's why he was mad," he told me as I shrugged.
"Well if we were gonna be together I was gonna tell you to stay for my that nigga anyway. I guess now it just happened for no reason cause I don't like you anymore," I told him sitting back with my leg bouncing.
Like if I had told him to do it would he be this hurt? Why he that hurt anyway? I thought he didn't have no feelings for him and shit and he only liked me? Not the nigga sitting here like he wanna cry and shit because boy don't wanna be friends no more. Shit weird to me.
He's weird.
"Oh you don't like me no more?" He asked me with a smirk.
"Nope," I told him asking him nod his head.
"So I can go fuck one of my homies and you ain't gone care?" He asked as I looked over at him feeling real bothered by that.
"I mean do you I guess. You single and so am k nigga. Go have fun fucking some weird ass nigga just like yo weird ass," I spoke making him laugh.
"So I can go fuck P? Bet that. I know his ass miss me anyway," he spoke pulling out his phone making my blood boil. I started bouncing my leg while looking up at my tv as he went to P's contact.
"I ain't gone lie...you gone get that nigga killed Cordell real shit. I'll end us all," I spoke calmly making him chuckle and look at me.
"I thought you just said I was single? Don't that mean I can fuck who I want?" He asked me making me let out a bitter chuckle.
"You not too much single bitch! I am. You can't fuck nobody while you talking to me cause imma kill 'em. Don't play with me either," I told him looking at him with a straight face.
"So you can fuck other people, but I can't?" He asked me.
"I mean basically, but I'm not doing that anyway, cause my dick won't get ha-...shit," I mumbled watching him look at me with a smirk.
"What was that?" He asked me smirking before grabbing my chin and turning my face towards his. My stomach.
"N-Nothing nigga. Get off me," I said moving my face away from him before looking back at him.
"Yea ok Cev," he spoke sighing making me frown my face up.
"You like real gay. How you mad cause I won't let you touch MY face. You a clinger?" I asked him as he nodded his head.
"I'm real touchy feely and I like to be up under who ever I'm dating," he told me making me roll my eyes.
"I hate that shit and we not dating cause you ain't take me on a date. We not even talking. You just be at my house watching tv," I told him shrugging.
"I haven't asked you on a date because one I know you don't wanna be seen with me in public, two you just started talking to me again, and three I'm not even sure if you actually like me," he said looking at me making me look at him confused.
"How you not sure if I lien you my nigga? Ain't I tell you earlier exactly why I like you and shit? Don't be weird now...," I replied making him sit back on the couch and roll his eyes.
"I don't know it just seems like you making yoself like me cause I like you. If you don't wanna take shit there with me then you don't have to," he told me making me nod my head while staring at him.
"I not gonna explain myself again, but just know im not about to lie about how I feel about anything just so you don't get yo feelings hurt. You know that's not me. If I said I like you then I like you. It makes me feel weird which is why I'm being weird around you cause I'm nervous. I just gave myself a whole pep talk before I came back out here, but I guess I'm just this monster incapable of having feelings for another person. Let alone a man," I told him rolling my eyes. "You like tryna find reasons to dub me or something so you can go fuck P? Like you don't like me no more or something?"
"I never said that! Why you keep saying that and why you keep worrying about my dick!? I told you I'm not fucking nobody at all Cev and it's just the way you act and talk around me I don't know I'm not getting that you like me. You just ignored me for a while fucking month my baby and ain't say shit so I guess I'm still on the fence about even taking a step with you cause you just gone run away again. I mean it's not like you trying shít wit me or being comfortable you just being...I don't know," he said sighing making me look at him.
"I'm not gone do nothing first cause I'm nervous bitch I just told you that...I don't even know what to do cause I've never done this before. If you do something to me first I'll follow suit. You gotta initiate it cause I'm not and I'm not gone dub you again. I was tryna figure if I actually liked you and I did so...yea," I told him rolling my eyes. "But just fuck it though. You don't think I can like you and that imma runner just fuck even trying whatever the fuck this is cause y-,"
I started before being cut off by him kissing me. I closed my eyes and got into the kiss holding onto his head as he deepened the kiss pulling me down on the couch by my legs. He got in between them and made me wrap my legs around his waist as we kissed hard and long.
I'm hard.
I felt our bulges pressing up against eachother.
"W-We gotta chill Cordell. I'm getting hard," I told him as he pecked my lips one more time before moving form on top of me and sat back on the couch. He moved my legs to sit back before putting them on his lap and placing his hand on my leg. He looked at the tv and picked up my remote to find s movie as I still just laid there shocked and looking at my legs.
"Relax Cev. Get comfy. That's what I'm here for. You can do whatever you want to me," he spoke rubbing my leg making me grow nervous again.
Maybe I'm not being weird because I like him, but maybe I'm scared of the intimacy. I've never been the one to receive the intimacy. Like ever. This is new to me and I'm overthinking. Simple shit like resting my feet on his lap. Never done it before before I'm always the one taking care of the girl and being the one to-
Wait, does that mean I'm the girl now and he's the nigga?
Intimacy is new to me.