Y'all want me to make this my main focus and update this story before making a new chapter for Rags to Riches II? Y'all seem to really like this story😭
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Cordell P.O.V
I couldn't tell you how long it's been since I've seen Cévon. It's now September and I guess that after we kissed he realized he had feeling for me, but didn't want them. He hasn't answered his phone, my messages, the door, nothing. I drove past his house a few times just to make sure he was at least still alive. Once I concluded that he was that let me know he was actually just ignoring me.
It was just a kiss...
I sold my last little baggy of weed before rolling my window up and heading back to my place. I don't have anything else to do today. Novian is busy, Cortlen is busy, Cévon hates me...
I know he probably just needed time to process everything, but the least he could do is communicate that with me. Just say hey, I think we need some space so I can figure things out for myself.
But nah that's too much like right. Instead I get ghosted. It's not like it was one of those swan ward kisses where the nigga is uncomfortable and pulls away after the first peck.
I stopped kissing him to talk and he pulled me back into him. If only Nori hadn't walked in. Then again though maybe it's good she did because if he's ghosting me over a kiss I can only imagine what he'll do to me if I had continued to suck his dick.
I can't like, I've been thinking about it. It was thick and long and two toned and had a thick vein on the side. His tip was thick and a little bit lighter than the rest of him. It tasted good too.
I've been thinking about going to P because I've been horny, but whenever k think about him my dick don't get hard like it used to. Only when I think about Cev.
Why did I have to have feelings for a straight nigga? I mena maybe k shouldn't have egged him on or anything, but honestly it was how I felt. It's like I'm going around and screaming it out to the world and yea I'm Dl, but I'm not hiding that part from myself. I know I'm gay and I know that I love men. We're not the same. He wants to act like he doesn't feel anything for me when I know that he does. He's insecure. The least he could do is admit it to himself that he likes men or at least me, but no. The nigga kisses me and then disappears.
I should have just stayed away from him in the beginning like he stated, but of course my dumb ass just had to keep trying. Got what I wanted in a way, but at what cost? Now the nigga hates me.
Maybe I need to just move on.
I heard my phone ringing in my car making me answer it and sigh.
"Yo?"
"Dell, why you ain't been texting me back?"
"My bad P, I've just been busy and kinda going through some shit. Wassup though what did you need?"
"Nothing...I just wanted you to come chill with me. You don't ever hang with me no more. We been hanging and chilling and stuff for years and then all of a sudden you barely talk to me yet you always in ole boy face,"
"Well it's your lucky day because ole boy hasn't talked to me since early August and it's September,"
"What happened? Y'all not coo anymore?"
"I don't know what happened. I think he just realized he ain't really wanna be coo with a east side nigga,"
"Just like him. Cnat look past shit like that. Typical Cévon,"
Not too much on him...
"Yea. Whatchu on though?"
"Nothing. You wanna come through tonight? I really missed you,"
"I'm not too much in the mood for sex P,"
"We don't gotta fuck...I honestly just wanna spend some time with you. It's been a minute,"
"Well then yea I'll come by. Just tell me what time to pull up and I'll be there man,"
"You can come at around...9. I can go pick up some snacks and shit and then we could have like a little movie night. I know Whatchu like to eat,"
"Aight bet then. I'll see you later and I'll bring a bottle or two. I Can stay the night right?"
"You know you don't have to ask that, but yea I'll see you later Dell. Bye," he spoke hanging up making me hang up my phone and turn my music back on. Maybe I do need to give him a chance and see where it goes. Not like Cev wants me. He's who I really want though and it's not fair to P to fuck with his feelings, but maybe I'll end up really liking him.
Maybe I just need to find a new nigga all together to talk to. I need to just stay alone...
I made it back to my house and noticed that my front door was open and meaning my brother was inside.
I sighed parking my car before getting out and walking up to my door and going inside. I saw niggas from the hood sitting around my living room smoking and drinking while listening to music.
"Cortlen? Why the fuck you got all these people in my house nigga? Wassup witchu? I get it you can come in here, but I never said bring yo friends and shit you got me ducked up Bruh and you know I don't smoke so I don't even get why the fuck you letting them smoke in my house like that," I said to him as he laughed.
"Nigga these the bros. You know the bros from the gangs you in dumb ass? Chill out. You want 'em out then you tell 'em to get out, but I'm not. We just chillin gang having a good time. Come smoke some," he spoke holding the blunt up to my lips.
"Get that shít outta my face dummy and stop playing with me," I spoke as he hit the blunt before blowing the smoke into my face making me snatch it and throw it into he ground stoping it before walking over to the niggas. "Y'all gotta get outta my crib. Real shit. I don't know why y'all go to his house or the trap, but y'all gotta go,"
"Why you trippin lil Cortlen? Gang can't chill at yo crib now? That's how you wanna be my nigga? We tryna plan some shit before we go slide on them west side niggas and yo-,"
"I don't give a fuck. Get outta my house bro. All of you! Get out I'm not in the mood today for this shit!" I told them turning the music off and walking to the back of my house to go into my room. I sat down on my bed sighing before picking up my phone and calling Cévon. Please answer. Please answer.
"Hello?"
"Yo?"
"Oh, this is Itrez...is Cévon around?"
"He sleep wassup my nigga?"
"Just...maybe y'all should leave the house for a bit. I don't know what these niggas about to do, but I don't want y'all caugh-,"
"Say less my nigga. Good looks for the heads up," he spoke hanging up making me sigh. At least they would be ok if these niggas really did go spin on them. I didn't want him to get hurt. He may hate me now, but k still felt the same about him.
"You ratting out the gang now?" I heard my brother asking me making me look up at him.
"Get outta my house wit that shit. Real talk. I'm not doing shit. I was talking to my homie why you eavesdropping on my convo nigga?" I asked him irritated.
"Who the fuck you been hanging around that gotchu talking greasy like this? You good my nigga? Cause yo pussy ass re-,"
"Stop calling me pussy before I show you how push i am my nigga. I'm not in the mood today I already told you that. I'm tryna be nice cause you my brother ma so love you m, but you pissing me off. I'm about to take my key back cause you disrespecting my place and its pissing me off! You been doing some real weird shit lately and I don't why! I want you and all of YOUR bros to get outta my space. Today is not the day Cortlen. Deadass," I spoke pushing him out of my room before locking my door.
I love my brother so much man and he was basically all I had since my mom ain't fuck with me, but he could do some real dumb shit that made me pissed. Like I get hanging wit the bros and shit, but why not do it in yo own house or even just ask me first before you do it? A simple phone call could have prevented all of this shit.
He's so dumb sometimes.
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"P could you stop?" I asked him laughing as he sang the theme song to Proud Family for no reason in a fucked up ass voice.
"You're such a fucking hater bro I swear you really are such a hater," he spoke sitting down on the couch grabbing some snacks and sitting then on top of us. He pulled the covers on us first before leaning back on the couch with my arm around him. "You can just grab whatever you want,"
"Aight bet. We watching a scary movie now? We already watched some comedy I need some horror," I asked him as my phone buzzed.
From "Cev🏴💪🏾":
I'm drunck
I mena durnk
Drunk*
I sighed reading the message before texting him back.
To "Cev🏴💪🏾":
Wya?
"We can...who's that?" He asked me as I sighed locking phone.
"Cev," I spoke keeping it short.
"Oh, I thought you said you two weren't coo anymore," he spoke making me nod my head.
"Yea cause that's what I thought, but he just texted me saying he was drunk and that's all," I explained as he nodded his head.
"So you about to leave me to go be wit him just cause he drunk? He's a grown ass man," he spoke making me shake my head.
"I'm not going anywhere so chill. We chilling right now," k told him as he scoffed.
"Lemme ask you something...you and Cévon fucking?" He asked me a si laughed out loud looking at the tv.
"Cévon is straight as fuck P. That nigga do not get down and even if he did no we're not fucking," I told him as he looked at me.
"Then who are you fucking? Because you used to come over all the time and spend time with me, but ever since you started hanging around him rather you wanna admit it or not, you been dubbing me. The moment he call you go running and you used to do that to me. Am I not good enough for you or something?" He asked me making me feel bad.
"It's not like that P and of course you good enough it's just our relationship was built on purely sex and that's all it was supposed to be once we agreed to be fuck buddies," I told him as he sat up.
"Well I don't want that and you know that! I actually like you Cordell and it's like you just sweeping me under the rug for him when I came first. You were big on not getting into a relationship because you weren't ready and with the lifestyle tomorrow is not promised and k got that, but the fact that you seemingly getting closer with him and shit when I was next in line is fucking crazy and it hurts Cordell! You were my first everything and this nigga starts coming around and it's fuck P right?! You been leading mw on and shit and coming over to have these type of nights only when he wasn't available and it fucking hurts! I know you've been doing it but because I like you so much I just say fuck it and let you come over any way because I just like being up under you!" He told me with pain in his voice making me feel like shit.
"P, I'm sorry ok? I didn't mean to ever hurt you and I pr-,"
"Cordell just...just stop. Just stop. I don't know how I wasn't your first option after everything we been through, but fuck it. I don't know what to do anymore...my heart is broken that the only person I wanna be with doesn't wanna be with me and after everything I thought we were on the same page. No it's just me that he doesn't want and it hurts. It fucking sucks Cordell. Maybe you should just go ok? I know you say there's not shit going on with you two, but I'm not stupid. The way he's just 10 times ruder to me whenever you're around and how he's so defensive over you I see it Cordell. I see it. Just have fun with him," he spoke with his voice cracking.
"P I didn't mean to hurt you I swear I didn't. You know I care about you and you're important to me. I'm not the type of nigga to pl-,"
"You sha that line every other nigga! I'm not the type of nigga to do this and that yet you're doing it bro! You said you didn't want a relationship and you wanted to just be friends with benefits, I said ok, yet you still did couple shít with me and me feel like I had a chance just for you to magically be ready for a relationship when he came around and then dubbed me. That's why you won't fuck me! That's why you always wit him! How was I not even an option?!" He yelled turning red making me sigh.
"...,"
"No answer? You can't even tell me why you could never be with me? Am I really that fucking bed? We only have good times together yet I guess that's still not enough for you? I've been there for you through so many hard times and it's still not me. I mean you would really rather be with yo fucking enemy than a nigga who's always been by yo side?! I'm that fucking horrible? Just go Cordell," he spoke wiping his face before opening the door and letting me out.
"I didn't mean to hurt you Pierre," I spoke as he nodded his head.
"Yea well you did. You not getting not getting no more cuts outta yo shit. From now in we're nothing. Only hit me up if you need some work," he spoke closing the door making me walk back to my car quietly.
I just lost one of my closest friends. Shit definitely hurts, but I understand. Maybe I was doing couple Tim you shit with him and then telling him I didn't wanna be together. Then for me to just start hanging with him like it was nothing and to actually start feeling him. I get why P was hurt and I definitely didn't mean to hurt him. I try to be a nice person to everyone especially people in my circle and I just hurt someone who was actually been there for me.
I'm so sorry P.
I looked down at my phone seeing I had a few texts from Cev and a couple missed calls. I sighed calling him back hearing him pick up on the first ring.
"Hello?"
"Cordeeeeeel,"
"What?"
"Can you come get me?"
"Where are you?"
"A party. I c-came wit Itrez, but I got drunk and I missed you,"
"Where is the party Cévon?"
"...you mad at me?"
"I'm not in the mood for this today either tell me where you are send yo location or something or go party,"
"I wasnt even mean today...you being mean and I'm drunk. I just wanna see you,"
"How Can you see me if you won't tell me where the fuck you are Cévon?!"
"Nevermind...,"
"Ce-," he hung up. I sighed sitting my phone down on my before starting up my car and pulling off heading to my house. I was gonna get some food, but now I'm not even in the mood to eat. Fuck it.
I turned my music off not wanting to hear shit a si drive home just thinking. I'm really a piece of shít for doing him like that. Fuck, P. Now I'm being mean to Cévon too? I've just been having a really bad day today. Everyone had bad days and I guess today was mine.
Everything bad that you can imagine happening happens to me today. I spilled my coffee, slipped in my bathroom, ruined a friendship, got into an argument with the block and my brother, my house smells like weed now, I haven't heard from Cévon in so long and I wanted to do bad yet the moment he calls me I dub him basically.
Today has just been shitty.
I heard loud music playing as I drove down one of the streets nearing my house making me wonder...this the party that Cev is at? I looked around outside after pulling up seeing his car sitting outside letting me know this was in fact the house. Maybe I should go get him. He sounded really drunk, but maybe I should just leave him be...I don't know man.
I found myself walking into the party seeing a few niggas looking at me. Yea this is definitely not a east side friendly party.
I walked into the kitchen to see if he was in there because knowing him he was drinking something.
"Cévon. Let's go," I spoke making him jumó spilling his liquor on his hand.
"How you find me?" He asked me as I shrugged.
"Who's taking yo car?" I asked him.
"Itrez got my keys. Can I get a hug?" He asked me making me shake my head.
"No, let's just go. Where's Itrez?" I asked him seeing him frown and cross his arms.
"Fuck you," he spoke making me sigh and walk over to him with my arms open. He hugged me tightly laughing while looking down. "We got the same shoes onnnnn,"
"Where is Itrez?" I asked him pulling away from the hug making him shrug. "Do you coming home with me?"
"Mhm," he hummed making me nod my head.
"Let's go then," I told him as he followed me outside and out to my car.
"Aye nigga? You a white flag?" I heard someone ask making me ignore them and help Cev into the car.
"He wit me p-pussy!" He yelled closing the door and putting the seat all the way back. I got into the drivers seat looking down at him as he was already staring at me. "I'm sorry for ghosting you. I missed you homie,"
"I missed you too. You ok?" I asked him as he nodded his head.
"You coming from P house?" He asked me making me sigh.
"Cévon don't fucking start yo shít. No I didnt fuck him and we're not even friends anymore so you should be happy. I don't know why you acting like you give a fuck anyway," I spoke irritated making him smack his lips.
"Cause bro...I don't like men, but I might like you...ain't that what you said?" He spoke looking away from me and cuddling himself into his hoodie. "I'm hungry Cordell,"
"You're just drunk," I told him as he shook his head sighing.
"Why you think I've been ignoring you? I was tryna put these feelings aside and shit, but I can't. I fuck witchu. Heavy. I thought if I stay away the feelings would go to, but couldn't take it so I called you," he told me shrugging. "So yea...I don't like men, but I like you. You said that's all I gotta do. You don't like me no more?"
"You not gone remember this tomorrow," I told him.
"Yea I am Cordell. You don't like me no more?" He asked again as I sighed.
"If I didn't like you would I be here right now? I'm just still feeling a way cause you just ignored me for a month and then gone sit in my face and act like everything is ok cause you like me. That's a valid excuse. You a grown man all you had to do was communicate with me-,"
"I never had to do shit like this before. I'm confused and it was hard to even think about me liking another nigga, but I do. Nobody make happy like you do well not since my brother died. I was scared of those feelings and you such a good guy I didn't wanna mess it up so I was just gonna dub you and go about my life, but I couldn't stop thinking about you and how made me feel. Maybe this is the drunk me talking, but I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. My dick only get hard when k think about you right now. This also may be the drunk me talking, but I like how you made my body feel without touching me for real. It was like ecstasy," he explained laughing before looking at me and sitting up straight. "I'm hungry Cordell. I want-,"
"Coney I know," I replied as he smiled at me.
"You think about me?" He asked me as I nodded my head. "You gay for thinking about me. You be missing my lips?"
If this is entertaining for him I guess I'll keep entertaining him.
"Yea I do," I told him making him laugh hard at that.
"You so gay for missing a nigga lips. Ha...nigga lips. I got nigga lips and you do too. You Asian though? You look kinda Asian, but black still. You still got nigga lips," he spoke making me chuckle and look down at him.
"I'm Japanese," I told him as he smiled at me sitting up.
"Really? You can speak it?" He asked me smiling as I chuckled.
"I mean I used to be able to fluently because of my dad, but he died and my mom didn't speak it for real so I just stopped. I feel like if I had to I could hold a convo. I just honestly haven't done it in a while," I told him as he smiled.
"Say something! Anything," he spoke making me pull over at the coney and look at him.
"How about we go get to food?" I asked him making him groan.
"Come on just say something," he told me as I chuckled.
"How about I say it in English?" I asked him as he looked at me confused. "I can't wait to make you mine,"
"...same," he mumbled looking away from me.
I know. Funny thing is he wasn't gonna remember none of this shit in the morning. That was ok though. In due time.