Chapter Song - Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls
In a decade or so the girls will be teenagers, Archer will be double digits, Daphne will be in her thirties and I'll be tasting my fifties. The future has got to be the most beautifully terrifying aspect of life to face, because it's a mystery.
And aren't all mysteries terrifying?
The house is quiet when Daph' and I enter, the afternoon just ducking beneath the horizon as the night settles in.
As Daph' places her duffle bag on the entry floor, I follow her as I carry Archer in his carry-on. He sits bundled up and awake, taking in everything about the new world he's just entered.
We ended up staying another night at the hospital, simply because we could and I wanted Daph' to get as much rest in the hospital as she could. Taking advantage of having the nurses around and other hospital staff was a main point of our lengthened stay.
"Hey," Mary meets us in the entry, her voice soft so I assume the girls must be asleep.
Daphne meets her in a hug, before Mary bends down to take another peak at Archer. "Hey, cutie," she smiles. "How are you two?" she asks, as we make our way down the hallway.
"Good, tired though," Daphne answers. "Where's Phil and Marianne?" she asks.
"Oh they had some plans they couldn't miss, so they asked if we could take over for tonight," Mary answers. The two disappear into the kitchen when we enter the living space, so I meet Ben on the lounge.
He perks up when I slump next to him on the couch, placing Archer's carrier beside me. "Hey man," he sits up. "How's my nephew?" he leans over to Archer. "You know you don't have to be such an angel around them?" he whispers cunningly to Archer.
I roll my eyes, leaning down and unclipping him from his carrier. "Don't listen to your uncle, he's being stupid," I tell Archer, holding him in my arms.
Tiny and delicate, his hair is dark like mine with the obvious facial features I had when I was born. If you put a picture of me as baby next to Archer, we'd look the same, besides his big wide eyes.
Hopefully they'll morph into the same caramel colour as Daphne's, but it wouldn't matter if they stayed that beautiful blue, they already look exactly like hers. I love it, I love him and it's difficult to pay attention to anyone when he's in my arms.
Besides my daughters and Daphne, of course.
"Let me hold him, I haven't yet," Ben wiggles his fingers and I begrudgingly hand over my son. "He's so cute, weird because he looks a lot like you," he comments and if he wasn't holding Archer, I'd whack his head.
Daphne and Mary come sit with us, and I tug Daphne onto my lap gently. Mary takes a seat next to Ben, leaning over as she stares at Archer. "You've had enough time, let me hold him," Mary says and Ben hands him over carefully.
Taking him cautiously in her arms, she settles back once she holds him in a comfortable position. "He certainly stares a lot," Mary jokes.
"I know," Daph' smiles. "But I think he's just processing everything, thats what one of our nurses said," she says, leaning into me as she relaxes.
I place a kiss on the top of head, rubbing her back softly. "How are you feeling?" I whisper to her as Ben and Mary gush over Archer.
"Tired and sore," she mutters.
"I'll send them away if you want to get some rest," I whisper, hoping she says yes. I want to spend time with my family. I love the two, but he's our son.
"O-kay, enough cuddles," I wave my hands, signalling to them to bring over Archer. "If you want a baby, make your own," I grumble and Daph' snickers.
Mary sends me a glare whilst Ben looks off into the distance contemplating it. "Nuh uh, not yet," she whacks his torso.
He flinches. "I was only thinking, we can certainly try though," he smirks her way and Daphne gags, while I cringe in distaste.
Mary simply rolls her eyes as she passes Archer back over to Daphne. "We should get going anyways," Mary says.
Daphne bids a goodbye to both of them and I simply nod their way, captivated by a peaceful Archer in Daph's arms.
"I should feed him soon, so lets get up upstairs," she says, standing up from my lap.
As she heads upstairs, I grab our stuff from the entryway and head up. I stop at the girls rooms, tugging up their tossed blankets and placing a few of Bridie's plushies back into bed. I feel sorry for them, it must be like a hurricane or tornado for them every night.
When I walk into our room, Daphne sits on the bed feeding Archer, looking beautiful as ever. Her hair is a little messy and I can see in her face she's tired, but she could quite literally be covered in mud and she'd be a sight for sore eyes.
Placing a kiss on her lips, I sit next to her on the bed. "I'm just going to finish feeding him, have a shower and head to bed," she tells me. "Are you going to bed soon?" she asks.
I nod. "I just want to check up on some paperwork and check on the pets,"
"Okay," she smiles softly, her eyes sparkling with joy. "The girls alright?" she asks.
"Mhm, fast asleep. Bridie's plushies all over the floor, like usual," I smile and she laughs lightly.
Once she's finished feeding, I let her take a shower while I burp Archer. Resting him over my shoulder, I flick on the T.V while I lightly tap his back.
It was a whirlwind the night Daph' went into labour, but after Archer was born it's been nothing but smooth sail calm. Even if it was hectic, I wouldn't care, I'd love every second of it. Being a dad is the best thing to happen to me, besides a few other important loves, but it's rewarding in a way thats indescribable.
After Daph' gets out of the bathroom, wrapped in only a towel that hides nothing, my eyes dart up and down her delicious body. Fuck, she's beautiful and all mine.
"Stop staring, you're making me flustered," he cheeks tinge a hue of red, as she hastily walks into the walk-in robe.
I smirk, placing a now sleepy Archer in his bassinet at the end of the bed. I make my way into our walk-in robe and take a seat on the middle ottoman.
Daphne seems hesitant when I watch her dress, unusual since she's never like this before. "Is everything alright, baby?" I ask, pulling her in front of me.
"Yeah, it's fine..." she drifts, as she bites her bottom lip. "I don't know, I'm just not loving how my body looks and I know it's not bad, and I just gave birth," she sniffles wiping a small tear, my heart breaking as she talks to me.
I hate how she feels insecure, I noticed it a smidge during our stay at the hospital when she'd gaze just a little longer than usual in the mirror. Every time she'd stare sadly I'd wish I could swap perspectives with her, because if she saw herself from my view, she'd never feel bad about herself ever again.
"I'm just not use to it, and I don't like it," her voice trembles.
I pull her onto my lap, being gentler than usual since she's still sore and tired. "But baby, you aren't just your body. You're my love. You're Hallie, Bridie and Archer's mummy, and the sun in everyones life," I cup her face.
"I know you feel insecure, and it breaks me that you do, because you're a fucking rockstar. I mean, you just gave birth to a human, your body is going to look a little different and thats okay," I reassure her. "But it doesn't matter what your body looks like, because it's beautiful and sexy, and powerful," I whisper the last words, placing a few kisses along her jaw.
"And I'm happy to reassure you how fucking perfect you are, in every way," I place a soft kiss on her lips.
She smiles softly. "Thank you," she whispers. "I do feel a little better though,"
"Good, now," I stand up, holding her bridal style in my arms which makes her laugh, her eyes crinkling at the sides as they sparkle. "Time for you to get some rest," I carry her out of the walk-in robe, her arms settled around my neck.
Laying her softly on the bed, she smiles as I fluff her pillow and pull the covers up to her chest. I take a seat on the edge beside her. "Do you need anything?" I ask, tucking a stray hand behind her ear.
She shakes her head. "I'm okay. Don't be too late to bed, I don't like sleeping by myself," she holds my hand, fiddling with my fingers.
"I won't be, but don't wait up," I lean down and connect my lips with hers, pulling away only a centimetre and pecking her lips again.
"Goodnight," she whispers, laying down fully.
I switch off the side lamp, the T.V the only light in our room. "Goodnight, did you want the T.V on?" I ask and she nods.
With one final kiss on her forehead, I leave her to sleep, giving a light kiss to Archer on my way out of our room. The house is quiet, but not in the dreary grey it used to be, it's now a sweet nothing silence that whispers in the walls.
Rolling over to an empty side, I perk up with tired eyes as I assess the empty space beside me. I look around, no sign of Danny in the bathroom or walk-in robe.
The clock beside me reads 12:01 am, so I've only be asleep for about an hour. This sucks, I feel so out of touch at this moment, with the T.V still on and my mind whirling with confusion.
Archer's still fast asleep though, in fact he's getting a better sleep than me. Lucky little boy, not even the T.V seems to be effecting him.
Flicking the covers off, I stand up and round the bed to check on Archer. His hands are balled in little fists, as he lays on his back sound asleep like a rock. Yep, like everyone else in this family, he loves his sleep.
Heading out of our room and down the hallway, I check Danny's office first but find no sight of him. "Where is he?" I mumble to the entryway silence.
Though low grunting from the basement catches my attention. "Huh?" I mutter, heading down the basement stairs.
I'm met into the open T.V room, but continue following the clanking of metal. Is he working out right now? Ugh, what on earth?
Heading into the personal gym, a place I'm rarely found, Danny sits up from the bench press. His shirt is off and drenched in a glistening layer of sweat, his hair ruffled and messy.
I lean my shoulder on the doorway, taking in the amazing but taunting view. Six weeks of being teased by him just existing, though it's not as if I feel confident enough to act on any desires even if I were allowed to.
I know Danny thinks I'm beautiful, but I don't think that, and it's difficult to change your own mind, even with outsider opinions. It'll be a journey and it's only been a few days since I gave birth, my body isn't going to snap back so fast, and thats okay.
I just have to learn to accept a new body of mine, one that is still beautiful, but inevitably a stranger to me. We just have to get to know each other.
"Daph'?" Danny's voice cuts me out of my thoughts.
I wander over to him, standing in front of his gorgeous self. His hands instantly set on my waist, in a way I guess to hold me close or always be touching me. "Why are you still up? And working out for that matter?" I ask, wiping my eyes that are still drowsy.
"I just wanted to move my body a little, it felt a little cramped from sleeping on a couch," he explains.
"Oh, well are you finished?" I question, i'm in no mood to go to sleep in an empty bed again.
He nods with a soft smile. "I am now, but i'll just rinse off in the shower first," he says.
Turning off all the lights in the basement, we head upstairs. He goes straight for the bathroom and I check on the girls again, both fast asleep and sprawled out across their beds.
I place a delicate kiss on their heads, before heading back to the bedroom. The shower water running echoes from the bathroom, not one slight noise disturbing Archer's sleep.
Snuggling into bed, I lean against the headboard with the T.V still on and playing some random late night cooking show. I watch it absentmindedly as I wait for Danny to finish off in the shower, which thankfully isn't more than five minutes.
Coming out of the bathroom with just a pair of low riding sweatpants on, I snap my gaze away from the desirable sight. Once he's in bed I cuddle up to his side, his arms wrapping around me as he pulls me close.
"The boy loves his sleep by the looks of it," Danny whispers.
"Mhm, like the rest of us," I mumble in response.
Flicking the T.V off, the only light resides from the full moon peaking in through the curtains. It's another mutter of goodnights when sleep is something we crave and take quickly.
Only until the morning are we woken up by knocks on our bedroom door, which in turn wakes up Archer and a shrill cry echoes through the room. "I'll get Archer, you get the girls," I mumble to Danny, rubbing my eyes as I get up and head over to Archer.
"Oh, sweet boy," I pick him up, his cries loud. "Sh, it's alright. It's just your sisters, they're excited to see you," I whisper to him, holding him to my chest as I sway him back and forth.
He begins to calm down as Danny lets the girls in, consuming them with hugs and kisses. "Morning," I whisper, smiling softly to them.
"Did we wake him?" Bridie asks with big innocent eyes.
"Yes, but it's okay," I reassure her. "He just has to get use to all the noise, thats all," I explain and they nod, looking up at him with excited smiles.
"Hop on the bed, and you'll be able to see him better," I whisper to them and they rush to the bed. Danny rounds my side of the bed, sitting in front of me as the girls hover around both sides of me.
"He's so little," Hallie mutters, placing her finger near his hands and he grips it tightly. "How is he so strong?" she giggles when he doesn't let go.
"Did you have fun with granny and grandpa?" I ask the girls.
They nod. "We did lots of colouring and they took us for ice cream both days," Bridie smiles brightly.
I gasp lightly. "Lucky duck, and how about Aunty Mary and Uncle Benny?" I ask, Archer now completely calm as he lays sleepily in my arms.
"Super fun, they played soccer with us in the backyard and then Uncle Benny tripped over onto his face. It was so funny," Hallie laughs, Bridie joining her.
Danny snickers. "Wish I could've seen that," he mutters.
"You would've never let him live that down, would you?" I question rhetorically, already knowing the answer.
"Of course not, what kind of brother would I be if I did?" he smirks and I roll my eyes.
"Can I hold him, mummy?" Hallie asks.
I nod. "You can, daddy will help you, alright?" I say and she nods, an excited gleam in her eye.
"What about me?" Bridie asks me.
"You can hold him after Hallie," I press a kiss to her head.
Sitting on his side of the Bed, Hallie sits in Danny's lap and with his help, takes Archer cautiously in her arms. "Put your arm like this so you can support his neck. There you go, bubba," Danny helps her hold him properly.
"Hi Archie," Hallie whispers and I melt at the sight, seeing the girls obsess over their little brother with such softness.
"Can I give him a kiss?" Bridie asks me.
I smile. "Of course you can," I say and she leans down and pecks his forehead ever so delicately.
After the girls take their turn to hold Archer, we head downstairs once the girls start complaining their hungry. As the girls eat their breakfast at the counter, I sit on the couch feeding Archer while watching the news.
"What are you doing?" Bridie comes around the couch, sitting in front of me with a few toast crumbs around her mouth.
I smile, wiping the crumbs from her lip. "Feeding Archer," I say.
"But..." she peers down confused.
I take the time to explain to her carefully, but not in to much detail, mainly in a simple way for her to understand. "Oh! Have fun then," she smiles, before heading back into the kitchen.
"Morning," Danny sits next to me, pressing a soft kiss on my lips.
"Morning," I reply.
"I'll take him for a bit, you get some breakfast," Danny says and I hand over Archer, leaning over and pressing another kiss on his lips.
Heading into the kitchen, the girls in their own conversation, I pour myself a cup of coffee and place a few pieces of toast in the toaster. "What do you two have planned for today?" I ask the girls, since it's the middle of summer and they're free to relax.
"Well I have a playdate with Lily, remember mummy?" Hallie answers, biting into her toast.
I nod in realisation. "Yes, sorry. My minds a little fuzzy, bub," I say. "Daddy will drop you off and pick you up, alright?" I tell her and she nods happily.
"Daddy said we could go to the park," Bridie says, a hopeful look in her eye.
"That sounds nice, we'll go after we drop Hallie off at her friends," I say. Rounding the island bench, I take a seat next to Bridie as the three of us eat, the girls still chatting in their own little world.
Getting the girls ready for the day, I finish up their hair before they head back downstairs. Not wanting to lose the comfiness of my pyjamas, I opt for a pair of loose linen pants and a simple t-shirt.
I brush through my hair, and put on a little makeup, feeling just a tiny bit more like myself when I take the time to get ready. Slipping on some sneakers, I head downstairs, the girls, Archer and Danny waiting in the foyer.
Piling into the car, I strap Archer into his car seat, Bridie happily sitting in the middle as she gets to sit next to her brother. "Alrighty," Danny mutters as he pulls out onto the road.
Dropping Hallie off at her friends house, we make our way to the park, Bridie bolting out of the car once we stop. Danny rushes after her and I grab Archer, setting up his pram and walking us over to a nearby bench in the shade.
I watch as Danny and Bridie play on the playground for a while, until Bridie finds two other kids and Danny gets a break from running around. He takes a seat next to me, saying hi to a calm Archer in my arms.
"She has so much energy, thank god she found those kids to play with," he huffs.
I laugh lightly. "Old age is starting to hit, I guess," I joke and he sends me a playful glare. "I'm only kidding," I peck his cheek.
"I can't believe she's starting school in a month," Danny says.
I sigh. "I know, time flew by,"
"I keep thinking about how many playdates we'll have to drive her to each weekend," Danny comments. "I just don't want Hallie to feel left behind, because she doesn't hangout with friends as much as Bridie will want to," he admits.
"It'll be okay. But if she does feel left out, we'll help her through it. She still has us," I smile, reassuring him.
He hums. "You're right," he wraps a hand around my shoulders. "Plus she'll have her little brother, won't she," he trails a light finger over Archer's cheek, his tiny fingers wrapping around Danny's pointer finger.
"Mhm," I smile, his lips connecting with mine in a feathery heartfelt kiss.
"How much longer must I wait?" he mutters against my lips, referring to when he can finally propose to me.
"Not much longer, just until we're all settled," I promise him, kissing his lips once again, sealing the promise. "You aren't the only one waiting," I say.
"Mummy, can I have my water, please?" Bridie runs up to us, cheeks flushed and hair frizzed from playing.
I nod. "Mhm, it's just in the bottom pocket, babe," I tell her and she grabs her water bottle from the pram, taking a few big gulps before running back off.
"She should be tired out once we're home, along with you little one," he points to Archer. "Which gives us some time alone," Danny says.
"What do you wanna do, play scrabble?" I question jokingly.
He laughs. "If you really want, sure. But I mean some quiet time, only us two, no kids," he smiles gently down to me.
"Quiet time? Sounds like heaven," I say.
An hour later once we're home, Bridie and Archer fast asleep upstairs, a nice silence cuddles the home. Setting the baby monitor on the coffee table, I lean back into Danny's chest as he holds open today's newspaper.
"Do you want to read it or me?" Danny asks.
"You can," I answer.
As I listen to Danny read the paper, my eyes start to become heavy, the past weeks weight catching up to me. I'm only mildly awake when Danny realises I'm sleeping and closes the paper, and carrying me bridal style out of the front room.
He heads upstairs and lays me in bed gently, tucking over the covers and pressing a soft kiss to my head. "I'm going to go pick up Hallie, I'll be back soon," he whispers and I must nod because he presses another kiss to my cheek, before leaving.
As I try to fully sleep, my mind can't help but trail down labyrinth mind paths. To think in a decade or so this entire life will be different, but we won't even notice the growth unless we glance back.
I wonder where I'll be, where we'll be. Will we have a fourth child? Geez, thats not for a while at least - or at all. Will Nick have kids? And with who, Wendy maybe? Mary and Ben, will they be married, engaged, maybe even a child?
Who knows, and I guess thats the fond mystery of the future. To be able to wonder and stray through unmarked paths and undisclosed labyrinths that can lead to lands we're not even aware exist.
In a decade or so, everything will be different. But in a decade or so, I know everything will be perfect, because it'd be against reason to not be...
***