day one
)
changmin's pov
somehow, i was able to survive this whole day without fainting or ending up crying. the whole day went by a blur because i couldn't believe this was actually happening. i was too dazed which caused me to not pay close attention to anything that was happening all around. do you know that feeling when you don't get any sleep at all in a night and when it's broad daylight, everything just skips you because of the lack of sleep? that's exactly how i felt after my confirm soulmate was announced. i responded to questions without really knowing what the hell i was saying, and when juyeon noticed, he'd take over. which, you can say i'm glad for.
by the time the day ended, everyone had gone home with a smile on their faces and a last one 'congratulations' they'd said to me. juyeon was the last person to leave. and i told him we could just talk about what happens next at school since all i really wanted to do at that moment was to go to my bed and cry. he must've noticed because he assuredly let me go without asking any questions or whatsoever. i felt like a complete idiot.
just why did this have to happen to me?
why couldn't the universe let me be?
once i've noticed all the questions i was making and was not getting my answers, i shut my thoughts off 'cause there was really no one point in thinking about them anymore. i didn't say a word to my mother once we were left alone. i immediately ran to my bedroom and closed by door shut; grabbed my phone and air pods and shut everything around me off. i didn't want to listen to anyone or know anything about anyone, not even myself. i didn't even know if i wanted to cry because i was sad or because i was angry.
all i really knew was that i hated this. i hated this heavy feeling of something wrapped around my pinkie and the thought of having to be in a mutual understanding with juyeon because god knows what the fuck would happen if we split up and never see each other again. i wish i had answers. i wish i had answers to all these unbelievable questions i shouldn't be having. to all these nuisance in human questions that no normal human should actually be having. i mean, how is it possible to just be soulmate-ed into a damn relationship?
i wish i knew. but, all my parents and other family relatives would really say was: "the world is a strange places that even us, humans, aren't really familiar with."
how stupid. how idiotic. how selfish.
but even through all these thoughts, i couldn't stop thinking of one.
is the way i see my family, the same way how everyone else sees me?
♡˗ˏ🍰໒
walking to school never felt so sadder than it felt today. something was happening to me, and i don't like it one bit. i meet sunwoo half way the road and he isn't alone. his boyfriend, what was his name? gosh i don't even remember.
anyway, his boyfriend is standing beside him and he looks rather pissed. it makes me wonder that sunwoo is ignoring him because he has lost his interest in him. ha, just like i predicated.
when sunwoo sees me, he runs up to me with a bright smile, not even bothering to warn his boyfriend that he was going to walk away. his boyfriend meets my gaze and scoffs before walking off, also not bothering to say goodbye to sunwoo. seems like they got into some sort of fight about something. typical sunwoo.
"how'd it go??" sunwoo asks, still not bothering to give me a proper greeting.
i brush it off and just continue walking. "horrible. and i mean, it all went bad."
sunwoo gasps. "no way. what happened??"
"looks like i got myself a soulmate after all," i sarcastically tell him, but even if i try to disguise it with sarcasm, i can still feel the annoyance and anger linger inside of me. just what the hell am i supposed to do now?
sunwoo gasps even more exaggeratedly now. i grimace at him, "can you stop doing that?" i'm not really asking and he knows it.
"right, my bad~" sunwoo smiles at me and he probably knows that his plan to annoyed me did work. though i was already annoyed from the morning i woke up so it wasn't anything new. silence takes over and i don't mind it. instead of over panicking, i try to focus on my surroundings instead. how the sun is slowly raising from afar and the way there's a light breeze in the beginning of the day only for it to be gone by the time it's the evening. the houses around us are quiet and a few other students walk in the same path we are. the time of day where people go to work and start their day with some sort of coffee or light breakfast. i think it's my first time admiring the morning ever since the start of school started.
actually, i think this year everything is going to change.
the silence and my time to admire everything around me is interrupted when sunwoo grabs my arm and makes both of us halt at the same time and acknowledge each other. "wait, lee juyeon was the one you took as your soulmate, right..?"
i roll my eyes at the sudden reminder of 'my soulmate.' ah, great, i'll have to see him more often now. disappointingly, i nod my head at sunwoo's question. "unfortunately, yes."
sunwoo gasps horribly again and i practically snap my neck to glare at him. when he meets my gaze his shocked face changes into a poker face as he raises a hand in guilt. "sorry!" he exclaims, forgetting what i had told him what not to do minutes ago.
i slowly turn my attention back to walking and making our way to school. "anyway so he's your...soulmate!?"
"no."
"your boyfriend?!"
"ew, no."
"your...friend..?"
"what makes you say that?" i screech.
sunwoo sighs. "okay, i'm seriously dumbfounded right now and have no clue what you guys are, so could you please tell me?"
my eyes stay looking ahead of us as one simple word leaves my mouth, "strangers."
sunwoo chokes, and i finally give a quick glimpse to my side to see him with wide eyes. "'strangers'?? are you really serious right now?" sunwoo doesn't believe me, and i wonder why i should bother even explaining it to him when he probably still won't believe me.
still, here i go bothering to explain it to him. i sigh, "it's not that hard to know why, sunwoo. we don't know a thing about each other and i don't have any intentions of getting close to him. what i really want to do is stay as far as possible from him, but, as you can see...it's not gonna be that easy when we're gonna have to stay into some sort of mutual understanding with each other because of the stupid soulmate thing..! so please don't remind me more about it because i am really trying to hold back my anger here!!" somewhere along my talking i think my frustration got the best of me.
sunwoo flinches and avoids my gaze and rather looks at the ground shamefully. he's about to say something but then abruptly, juyeon is here. he's standing in front of us and blocking the path before us. for a moment i think i was hallucinating, but then i punch his arm and he winces and i realize the contact.
"ow," juyeon mumbles. he isn't alone, there's someone by his side and he looks familiar but not familiar. i've probably heard about him too but i just haven't ever talked to him. he has bleached hair and is wearing a chained necklace over his uniform that in a way, it looks rather flashy.
"who's this?" i greet.
juyeon glances at his friend, was he not aware he was there? "hi..! the boy beside him says, rather innocently than he looks.
"this is eric, one of my friends," juyeon says. he glances at me and nods his head at me in a sort of greeting way. i try not to look too taken aback by how effortlessly attractive he looks. "hello to you too," he mumbles, and glances back at his friend only to let his eyes linger to sunwoo, taken notice of him.
"hello," juyeon says, waving at sunwoo.
sunwoo smiles sheepishly and awkwardly raises a hand but does not wave it. embarrassed, sunwoo's smile falls at his dumb reaction and looks at the ground instead. he seems to have gone quiet now.
i glance back at juyeon only to find him already staring at me. "what are you doing here?" i wondered.
juyeon shrugs. "i thought it'd be better if we'd see each other."
"why?"
"because of the...you know..." he doesn't want to say it, and it makes me think it's because he's aware and respectful of not exposing what had happened yesterday in front of his friend.
from the corner of my eyes, i see sunwoo glance at me and and at juyeon. and then, he's out of his shell and is grabbing eric's wrist and dragging him away as if they've already met. "we'll just catch up to you guys at school...! see ya!" sunwoo yells out as he's running away while dragging eric along. eric seems confused and surprised but doesn't bother to escape from sunwoo's grip. the two leave us alone and i feel sorta embarrassed now.
why is talking to someone such a pain in the neck?
juyeon slowly makes his way to walk beside me. we're walking now, and i notice how juyeon slowly moves his hand closer to mine. i panic when i feel his finger brush faintly across my hand and move it away. "what were you gonna say?" i ask instead, putting my hand inside my sweater instead.
juyeon grunts awkwardly and scratches the back of his head. "oh, yeah, right. um...i thought it'd be best if we walked to school together since you said we're supposed to be seeing each other daily, right?"
i nod my head, fondly, still caught up by the fact he was trying to hold my hand. does this guy have no brain cells or what? how could he do that so impulsively..! seriously! what the hell!
"oh, you know we aren't supposed to be together 24/7. we just gotta stay in mutual feelings, you know?"
"you mean like, not feeling of any hate towards each other?"
"yes, you got it," i say with no enthusiasm. "i doubt something will happen to us, we barely know each other so i can't say i truly hate you."
"what if i hate you?" juyeon suddenly says.
i seem to have find that comment interesting because i feel that i have woken up for today. "what?"
juyeon chuckles and he grabs my shoulders in a friendly way, leaning a bit more closer to me. "i'm just kidding," he says, and even if i can't see his face, i can tell he's saying that with a fond smile. he withdraws away shortly after and he glances at me. "i don't have your number yet. don't you think i should?" juyeon reminds.
i finally acknowledge him but he's busy taking his phone out his pocket for him to notice i'm staring at him. i watch him as he unlocks his phone with a scan of his face and finally glances at me. "let me have it," he says as he hands me his phone.
i sigh, "i don't have much of a choice, do i?" i grab his phone and start pressing the digits. once i'm done, i return it to him.
"thank you very much," he says as he looks at his phone.
i notice he's taking long doing whatever he is on his phone and i can't help but glance in curiosity. he's still in the contacts app only he's changing some sort of things. it doesn't take me long to realize what he must be doing. "are you changing my nickname?" i point out.
juyeon gives a quick glimpse at me before returning his eyes on his phone. "yup. wanna know what i name ya?"
i snort. "no thanks."
juyeon frowns. "i'll say it anyway."
i roll my eyes in a playful matter and decide it'd be best to look ahead of the street instead of at the taller beside me. "soulmate," juyeon says.
i'm not so surprised. "ha, how funny of you," i comment plainly.
juyeon makes a quiet whine sound and i glance at him in confusion. "really?" juyeon asks, his tone so innocent that it actually makes me feel sorry for him. the way he looks all excited about it sort of reminds me of a happy dog excited to go on a walk.
"no, you idiot," i respond, and though it sounds rude, my tone becomes very soft and light that it takes me by surprise.
juyeon's puppy like features go down. sad puppy now.
"do you not like it?" he asks.
i shrug. "it could be worst."
"really?"
i glance at him, no expression written across my face whatsoever. "it's fine," i exhale, realizing that my own humor isn't any like his and that he could maybe take it the wrong way. "it's not bad," i admit.
his eyes beam again and i have to look away so i won't get caught in them. "what're you gonna put on my contact then?"
"lee juyeon," i answer sincerely.
juyeon gasps quietly in disbelief. "seriously?"
"why not?"
juyeon frowns. "at least put hyung in the end."
i grimace. "can't really do that honestly."
"why?"
"because we're not that close, juyeon-ssi."
"oh, so now we're using honorifics?"
gosh he is seriously getting on my nerves! how could he act so innocent but yet be so confident!? it's seriously annoying...! i scoff and halt my steps and turn to look at him. "why don't we just walk by ourselves now, hmm?" i requested, though it doesn't really sound as if i did.
juyeon shrugs. "we're going the same way so we don't really need to do that."
i sigh and take a deep breath, trying to keep my cool down. just then, someone walks up to us and pounces at juyeon, putting his arms around his shoulder and ruffling his hair. he's a bit more short so he has to bring juyeon's head down in order to tease him. "heyyy, what're you doing walking to school, ju?"
i take this as my opportunity to runaway so i speed run away from them. i hear juyeon calling out for me to stop but i ignore him and continue walking off.
♡˗ˏ🍰໒
i thought i lost them. but after getting closer to the school's campus, i hear the same boy's voice from earlier behind me. and when i glance back i see juyeon holding his bag's straps looking right ahead of me, his brunette friend walking beside him, blabbering on about some sort of topic that i don't know about.
i try not to panic when i realize the closer we got to the entrance and to the crowd, juyeon and i would end up getting closer somehow. i can practically feel him staring at me. his friend keeps on talking and all i can hear from juyeon are a few hums and grunts here and there, totally not focused on whatever he was saying.
the crowd causes me to take a step backward without even knowing and i feel some large hands grab my waist to stop me from falling. for unknown reasons, i feel something warm in my stomach and i quickly put my hands on top of the other large hands and pull them away from my body. the crowd moves and i quickly find a way to get out.
♡˗ˏ🍰໒
bored in class, i decide to grab my phone out and secretly start texting sunwoo who had sent me a text an hour ago.
crazy guy
what happened??
what did he want???
🤨
wth y aren't u texting back?!💢
he didn't kidnap did he?? 😟
istg his friend is so annoying!!
help!!!
oh......he's actually not that bad
he's cool and i think i just found my twin
ight i give up
hope ur not dead 🙏
i roll my eyes at the chaotic texting and emojis. i begin tapping.
crazy guy
i am not dead
and wdym his friend isn't bad?
istg dont u dare try anything stupid w him
not even a second later he's already typing.
crazy guy
oh thank god u aren't dead!!!
u had me worried wth??!
and yes i mean exactly that
his friend eric is funny asf!!
and no ew we're just friends
that's what u always say tho
....
whtv ttyl
byee
i click out sunwoo's contact and look at the other message i recieved not long ago.
XXX-XXX-XXX
why did you suddenly leave?
hang out with me at lunch
i instantly know who it is. juyeon. obviously.
idiot
i can't
i'm hanging out w sunwoo
he texts a minute later, and it makes me wonder if he actually listens to the teacher. so much for the role of 'bad boy' of the school.
idiot
then can't i hang out with you guys?
what
no
why not?
because sunwoo just told me you make him uncomfortable
i lie, sunwoo doesn't give a shit about anyone.
idiot
ok then....
i'll just see you after school then
sure
i sigh and close the app off and decide to focus on the lesson.
why did that text make him sound so...sad..?
soulmate