"Why do you hide your body in those shitty clothes all the time?"
I blinked, my throat going dry. "My clothes aren't shitty." Frowning I smoothed over the shirt.
Toms eyes widened a little, "oh no, they're not.. I just mean, never mind." He flashed me a sheepish smile, ending his sentence before he offended me more.
"I'm not purposely hiding anything. I just like to be comfortable."
Tom nodded, standing and stepping in front of me. "I get it. You ready?" He extended his arm out for me.
I was throughly taken aback, I don't know this version of him.
For the most part today he has been totally nice, flirty, he called my clothes shitty.. but still there was nice intent there with the rest of the sentence.
Oh my god.
He's totally playing me!
That has to be it. Why else would he be going above, and beyond to be sweet, tell me he wants to hang out, and say that I'll be with him at the party.
I'm not going to say anything, at least not yet. I'll see how far he takes this; I could always be wrong. I hope that I am honestly.
I like him, I do.
As much as I don't want to admit that fact, it rages inside of me every time I catch a glimpse of him, see his lips curve as he smiles, feel the vibration of his laugh when he sits next to me.
I can't help it! Who could?
There's something so utterly magnetizing about Tom. I have to remind myself that probably hundreds of other women have fallen for the same trap I have, and I don't want to lose my virginity to someone who would be willing to throw me out the room the second the deed is done. I deserve better than that, no matter how much I like him.
Reluctantly I laced my arm through Toms. He bent his elbow pulling me closer to his side as we walked out, causing a warmth to pool in my belly. Okay.. maybe I could at least enjoy this while it lasts.
—
Since the moment we left the dorm Tom has been touching me non stop. Whether it was a hand on mine in the car, his arm over my shoulder as he lead me in the house, his fingers laced through mine as he brought me to the kitchen to get me a drink, or now possessively holding my side while I sit next to him on the couch.
I won't lie I am relishing in this. It feels good to feel wanted.. maybe not in that way, I'm not sure. I've just never felt this way about anyone before, and the drumming of my heart against its cage is pushing away any thought in my brain that tells me to run from the sweet touches from Tom.
Natalie, and Bill sat on the couch across from us as people moved all around us in the house, drinking, smoking, dancing.
From the moment I walked in the door with Tom, Natalie gave me a hesitant look, as if she was asking 'you sure about this?'.
Still now, she's staring at me from the other side of the living room, glancing at Toms grip on my hip as he rubs small circles on my side with his thumb.
I was taking my time on the first drink Tom gave me, another fruity cocktail similar to the one I had just about a week ago.
This time there wasn't as much of a burn, and I could already feel the warmth of the liquor coursing through my veins, flushing in my cheeks.
I leaned into Tom, resting my head on his shoulder, smiling as I breathed in his scent; Musky cologne, and a faint hint of cigarettes.
"Can I borrow you for a minute?" I didn't even notice Natalie leaving Bills side. She stood in front of Tom and I, her arm extended out to me.
"Oh.. sure" I smiled, taking her hand. Tom reluctantly loosed his grip on my body, wordless as I got up and followed her into the kitchen.
"What's going on with you and Tom?" She asked leaning back against the counter to take a sip from her drink.
"I'm not really sure honestly." I crossed an arm over my chest, running a hand back and fourth over it. "He's been really nice today, like alternate universe nice."
Natalie scrunched her face in confusion, which didn't give me any comfort. "I'm not sure what his angle is. Whatever his plan, are you okay with it?"
Her eyes met mine; I wasn't sure if I'm okay with this! It's like my brain is split in two.
The rational side screaming at me to run far far away, and protect my heart from whatever damage is to come. The other half basking in the warm fuzzy feelings I've developed in just a week.. how pathetic.
"I don't know Nat, I'm not gonna sleep with him though." She nodded.
"Good, I just don't want you to get hurt." She smiled softly, pulling me in for a hug.
Her saying 'good' in response to me not wanting to sleep with Tom bothered me a little. I'm not sure why. Maybe I should!.. or maybe not. I've never been this conflicted in my life.
Liquor will help! I slinked out of Natalie's arms and grabbed another cup from the counter graciously filling the plastic container. In one big gulp I swallowed the entirety of the drink, and filled another cup. I only got down about half before Natalie grabbed my wrist.
"Woahh, babe.. not too much too fast." I chuckled, grinning sheepishly as I sat the cup back down on the counter. "Sorry, let's get back in there yeah?" Natalie nodded apprehensively, but followed me into the living room.
My jaw almost dropped at the scene in front of me, or maybe it did; I couldn't tell. The only thing I could feel was the warm water pooling in my eyes, and the sharp knife stabbing my chest as I witnessed the same girl from last weekend draped over Toms lap. She had a possessive hand on his shoulder, and a malicious grin as soon as she saw me. She, Taylor, whispered something in Toms ear, darting her tongue out to lick the shell of it. He didn't even flinch! Or move! Tom just sat there looking at me, almost smiling.
I could hear Natalie saying something to me somewhere in the distance, but I couldn't understand it; I was too caught up in the smug grin on Toms face. I can't believe this, actually can't. Maybe I can! This was his plan the whole time of course; it had to of been.
Fuck this!
I turned promptly walking out of the party, wiping a single tear that fell. I'm not going to let myself cry over this, over Tom. He is not worth a single tear. If anything I should be mad at myself for even agreeing to go to this party in the first place!
Continuing down the street I could hear the sound of the party get quieter, and some footsteps coming towards me get louder. Jesus Christ if this is Tom I swear to god.
"Bella!"
Natalie.. thank god!
"Hey!" I turned around smiling, although I was still hurt I wasn't a sobbing mess. There was barely any makeup messed up or anything.
"Are you okay?" She asked once she caught up, placing a gentle hand on the side of my arm.
"Yea! I'm totally fine, you didn't need to follow me. Thank you though, anyway."
"Okay.." she seemed hesitant, but gave in, "where are you planning on going? It's too late to walk back to campus."
I bit my cheek; she was right. It has to be at least past one in the morning now, and I don't really know how to get back to the dorms from here.
"I know you probably don't want to see Tom right now, but you should probably come back to the house." I nodded, linking my arm in hers.
Emotionally I was trying to prepare myself to face Tom once we got inside.
"Is that girl still all over Tom?" I asked Natalie. I could feel myself blushing, embarrassed by my curiosity still.
She shook her head, "No, actually he pushed her off of him right after you turned around."
"He what?" I furrowed my brows. Why would he do that? And did he let her do that in front of me just to play with my emotions or something?
"Yea, he was kind of rude about it to. I'm not sure what he said to her, but she seemed really offended; ran off crying." I blinked, not sure how to take in the information.
He dissed her the same way he did to me last week. Did he do that for me? If he did I feel like he would have came after me. Then again, Toms not really the type to go chasing after someone.
"Oh wow." I laughed nervously, my anxiety growing as we reached the front steps to the house. I could swear that my heart was beating in sync with the music blasting inside the house.
Once we reached the living room, I couldn't see Tom anywhere; His spot on the couch now empty. The only person I recognized other than Natalie was Bill who was in the same spot from before. His face lit up when he saw his girlfriend, and he quickly stood to meet her for a warm embrace. I couldn't help the pang of jealousy I felt. Why couldn't Tom be like that? They're twins.. so how are they so different?
I sighed, saying goodnight to both of them and left to find a room to sleep in again. Hopefully that same room from before is empty.
Actually, I'm counting on it.
Halfway to the bedroom, I passed by Toms room. For a moment I stood in front of it.
Part of me was standing there to see if I could hear anyone inside, I couldn't.
The other part wanted so badly to rip the door open and run inside. All I could do was stand there, like my feet were stuck in place.
The thumping of my pulse in my ears covered up the sound of Toms footsteps behind the door.
"Bella?" I blinked, a little stunned.. and very drunk.
Tom was half naked; the only clothing on was his boxers, and some thin sweatpants. God he's so sexy.
"H-hey, Tom." Swallowing, I glanced all the way down to his feet, and then back up his body to his eyes. I didn't miss the amused smile on his lips.
"Like what you see? Come in."
——
Y'all.. I am SO SORRY! I have had the worst writers block, and I've had family visiting. It's just been a crazy week and I haven't had much time to write. I'll try and upload a little more often!