Cordell P.O.V
It's been about a month since I've hung out with Cévon downtown. It ended up being just us, but it was still fun and we had a good time. He was smoking of course then we went to a spot to eat which I paid for of course and then had a few drinks. Afterwards like he wanted we went to a strip club and he found some girl to go home with so we went out separate ways.
I've been having some fun with him.
I walked into my living room and grabbed my keys before walking out of the house and out to my car. I need to grab some groceries. I turned the car on and watched as Novian walked over to my car. He hopped into the front seat sighing making me look over at him confused.
"What's wrong witchu?" I asked him as he shook his head.
"I don't even wanna talk about that shit gang. Just know yo brother a fucking weirdo," he spoke making me sigh and pull out of the driveway.
"What did he do?" I asked him as he sighed.
"Yo brother just weird as fuck. Always gotta make little smart ass comments and you know I never been no how so I called him out on that shit and outta respect for you I walked a ay instead of beating the fuck outta that nigga. He was blowing me real shit. It's whatever though fuck it. Where you going?" He asked me as I turned onto a different block.
"To the store. I need some groceries and shit so probably Walmart," I told him as he nodded his head. "...hat did my brother say exactly?"
"He was just being more ignorant than usual laughing at dead niggas and bragging about his gun count. Like this shit is not a sport. Niggas not supposed to be doing this shít for fucking fun yet they are. You know he was one of them niggas that destroyed that one nigga grave right? He was just laughing about that shit and everything singing that fuck the west side shit. Like ok it's fuck them niggas, but fucking wit dead people is crossing the line. The nigga already dead why the fuck you still fucking wit him? It's like they want problems," he spoke rolling his eyes making me grow tense.
Cévon's brother...
"You know who brother that is?" He asked me as I nodded my head. "Please tell me it's not yo friend,"
"It is...I don't know why he got killed though or what happened, but I know that's his brother. Cévon told me about him," I explained.
"I don't even think that nigga banged for real. Somebody said that he got killed all over a misunderstanding which really translates to he got killed for nothing, but niggas wanted to show they balls and shit and show who tougher. Sad he wasn't even affiliated yet he got smoked. These streets ain't no joke. The only thing we don't know is who pulled the trigger. We don't know who killed that nigga, but I know it was somebody from over here because why else would our niggas be fucking with his grave unless they doing that shít for clout to claim a body they ain't catch," he spoke making me nod my head.
"Shít probably. These niggas known to claim shit that ain't theres for clout. Niggas is fucking stupid," I replied making him agree with me and nod his head.
"I'm actually glad you ain't got no bodies. You don't need none. That shit do something to yo whole body and mental my nigga. I never felt like I deserved shit in life again after I caught my first body. It was this nigga that was tryna take this little girl in his truck. Smoked his ass and took her home. I went up for that remember? But I got off. That still did something to me. I don't think I'm gone ever be the same. Whatever you do don't catch a body and don't get caught yoself. You sure you can trust this nigga you been hanging around?" He asked me a si nodded my head.
"I'm cautious of course because you can't trust anyone for real, but I don't think he's gonna kill me or set me up. He's only been genuine so far and so have I. I don't think he a set up," I replied as he nodded his head.
"Not asking you for myself, but wassup wit that money from that move? It's been damn near two months and no word at all? You sure that niggas ain't stick you for yo paper?" He asked as I shook my head.
"Nah he ain't and I'm sure of that. He's been wondering the same thing as me. Imma call him later though and see wassup. His Og handling that shit and I know before it was a problem with the buyers backing out. I'll hit him up today. I'm tryna leave honestly," I told him as he nodded his head.
"I feel you on that one. Just make sure you keep in touch with me when you get outta here. I might move myself. If you not here I don't need to be here," he spoken as I agreed with him.
"Of course man. I wouldn't just dip out and not tell you," I told him chuckling as k pulled into the Walmart parking lot. I parked up the car and then got out with him before grabbing my basket. I walked into the store and headed straight to the vegetables since that was closest to the door. I started putting shit I wanted and needed I got my cart as I watched Novian sneak shit into my cart like I didn't see him. "Bitch I see you,"
"I don't know Whatchu talkin about homie," he spoke making me chuckle.
"Aight well when I take these groceries out in the house later don't steal none of my stuff since you didn't put shit in here," I spoke making him smack his lips.
"You really shouldn't behave like that," he spoke making me chuckle as we continued walking through the store. "So, you made any progress with yo crush?"
"Nah man. He's not gay and I don't wanna make him uncomfortable. We're just friends and I'm working on getting over my crush," I explained shrugging as I as looked at this case of sprite.
Imma buy this for Cev. Nigga loves sprite.
I put it into my basket and listened as he began talking again.
"He said he not gay? How you know he ain't dl?" He asked me as I chuckled.
"My thing is he know k gotta crush on him or whatever right? And if he was dl he knows I'm gay so for him to still be dubbing me or letting me know that he's straight means that he just don't fuck with me. I'd rather him be straight than to be gay and not want me. That hurts more," I told him laughing as he laughed too.
"I ain't gone lie that makes hella sense! I never thought of it like that. Like yea I'd rather a bitch be gay than to turn me down that shit does hurt more. I get it," he spoke chuckling as I nodded my head.
"Yea so I'm chucking it up tot he fact that he's straight as fuck," I spoke as he held his hands up.
"Nah my nigga I digress you got that one. That made slot of sense to me," he laughed as I sapped him up. "But nah you one of the nicest niggas I know and you don't look better than me, but you aight I guess, so either he not gay or he just confused. I don't think he's dubbing you. He would be stupid to. You a valid nigga for real and I've seen you in relationships. You a good nigga,"
"Thanks man. And I do look better than you," I spoke dapping him up making him smirk and roll his eyes.
"Do you see all this sexy chocolate?" He asked me making me look at him up and down.
"I ain't gone lie...I may never eat chocolate again," I spoke making him smack his lips.
"You really not shit hoe ass nigga," he spoke punching me making me punch him back. "I'll fight you in here,"
"Wassup pussy," I spoke pushing him making him deck me. I hit him back before stopping once I saw that face that I've known my whole life behind him.
"What?" He spoke turning around. "Shit...,"
"Hey ma. How you been?" I asked her as she looked at me.
"Good. You?" She replied as I sighed.
"Can you say more than two words to me ma? I missed you and you don't answer my calls no more. I know you're mad at me, but I'm still your son," I told her as she chuckled.
"If you think this is mad then ok Cordell. I'm disappointed in you for choosing the streets over a paying job," she spoke as I sighed.
"I know that ma. It's been so long though you just gone hate me forever? What if I get killed?" I asked her as she shook her head.
"Then I hope you have a nice casket. You wouldn't have to worry about that shit if you wo-,"
"But I can't leave now so there's nothing I can do and yet you still treating me like shit. You supposed to be my mom," I said to her as she chuckled.
"You grown right? You said you were grown when you made that choice. If you grown enough to sell drugs and be out here doing whatever is you do then you grown enough to take care of yourself and I'm not doing it any more. You saw what I went through with your brother and he wanna be the dumb ass to follow him knowing that's dumb as fuck. You know better yet you just doing whatever. That's on you. That's not the child I raised. Now if you excuse me I need to grab some sprite and you're blocking it," she spoke making me sigh.
"I love you ma...," I spoke as she ignored me. I sighed and walked away leaving my basket there with Novian following behind me.
"You ok?," he asked me as I shrugged not saying anything and walked out to my car. We got in together and I started it up heading home.
I'm not even in the mood to be outside anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I laid in my bed watching tv feeling down as fuck. She could have at least said I love you back...shit.
I sighed watching as the next episode of the Office came on. It has to be like 11 at night. I came back home and I've been in bed ever since. I didn't feel like doing shit now or talking to anyone. I was over today. I felt my bed start vibrating me pick up my phone and look at who was calling me.
Incoming FaceTime from...Cev🏴💪🏾.
I sighed a seeing my phone sitting my phone down by my mouth so he could hear me, but couldn't see me.
"Yo,"
"Why you sound like that? And why yo face not in the camera? Thats the point of a FaceTime,"
"Cev, what do you want?"
"I'm speaking Chinese?"
"Hold up," I told him sighing as I sat up and propped my phone up on my nightstand and turned my tv down leaving my lights off. "What?"
"Don't what me nigga why you sound so pissy?"
"I'm not. What do you want?"
"...nothing nigga nevermind cause you obviously gotta attitude,"
"I don't have an attitude,"
"You're obviously mad about something and you not tryna say shit so imma just hang up. I was only bored that's why k hit you up. Never again," he spoke sitting back in his chair taking a hit of his blunt rubbing his chest. He had on no shirt and some sweats and had his phone propped up looking at him. He looked good. Fresh haircut today?
"I'm not mad Cev. I'm sad. My bad. I'll hang up I'm not tryna bring yo mood down or nothing,"
"Why you sad? You ain't gotta hang up I wasn't doing shit and wanted to hit you. We can just stay on the phone or I mean if you wanna hang up you can. You tryna link or something and drink? Or you want me to leave you alone?"
"You don't have to leave me alone. It's all good I don't feel like leaving my bed, but I'm not gone hang up. I just don't wanna bother you wi my mood. I saw my mom today and long story short she wouldn't say she love me back when I said it,"
"She mad at you for banging?"
"Yea...now she acts like she hates me and I don't know what to do. It's like there's nothing I can do about now yet she still does this. She don't even answer my phone calls or nothing! I could be dead or something and she wouldn't even know let alone care! That shit hurts bru cause I love her. I get her being mad, but that not saying I love you back shit hurt me,"
"You at yo crib?"
"Wh-yea,"
"Aight. Stay up I'm bout to pull up,"
"You don't hav-,"
"It's good nigga. You need a homie right now and you said we friends right? Lemme be yo friend nigga. I don't think she hate you though. I think she just tryna play hard ball to make a point or something. You know how parents are. They be tryna do dumb ass shit to prove a point,"
"Yea I just wish I didn't somewhat believe that she actually don't love me. Like I get what I did. I fucked up everything I had going for me for my brother and and ran to the streets. I could have got a normal job yet I chose this and embarrassed her. How did both of their kids turn out like this?"
"I ain't gone lie. You nothing like them niggas. You a valid ass nigga Cordell. Real shit. You not bully for that petty shit and you way more like mature and nice and shit. You a good ass dude. Don't let her make you feel like you not cause you don't live yo life to the t or by the book like her. You still a good person. She know that too, but she tryna guilt you into changing and leaving this shit not even knowing that it's not easy to leave. Unless you leaving the whole state or something cause you forever gone be seen a switch up and a potential rat. You a walking target,"
"That's what I wanna do. When the money get here I wanna leave and get a nice place off the water. I really want a nice beach house that's like secluded though,"
"Shít me too. I DONT want no neighbors at all. And a beach house sound like a vibe. Imma build a house next to yours,"
"Whatever nigga," I laughed as I watched him get into his car. "You really coming out here?"
"Yea. Nigga so get up, and open the door when I get here," he spoke making me chuckle and sit up. I continued talking to him while he drove to my house and then got up to let him in.
"Wassup," I said to him sapping him up as he walked in.
"You look sad as shit. You need a hug?" He asked me as I shook my head.
"Nah I'm ok...," I spoke locking my front door and walking to my room with him before locking that door too. Worst case scenario my brother walks into my house at least my door is locked.
"Comere pussy," he spoke embracing me rubbing my back a bit. "Yo momma still love you gang cheer up,"
I hugged him back sighing before letting him go not wanting to make shit weird.
I haven't a hug like that in a minute.
"You can sit down," I said to him making him chuckle.
"Whatchu been doing all day?" He asked me taking his shoes off and laying back.
"Laying in bed. I haven't been in the best mood since e that shit happened," I told him as he nodded his head. I got back into my bed and pulled me covers over me.
"You just gone go to sleep while I'm here?" He asked me as I turned around to look at him.
"I'm not going to sleep," I told him making him smack his lips.
"Then sit up and put on some music or something," he spoke rolling his eyes and taking his phone out. He's a brat.
"Ok Cev," I replied picking up my remote and putting on some music.
"Yo, Cordell when was the last time you saw P?" He asked me making me shrug.
"I don't know. It's been a minute honestly. Probably about two weeks ago. You know you the only person that calls me Cordell besides my momma?" I asked him as he shrugged.
"I mean that's yo name so that's what imma call you," he said looking at me like I was stupid.
"I know, but most people call me by my nickname," I told him as he nodded his head.
"Well I'm not most people nigga. I'm not calling you Dell, Cordell. Did y'all fuck when you went to see him?" He asked me making me look at him confused.
"Uh, yea...why?" I asked him making him chuckle.
"Oh no reason. Why has it been two weeks then?" He asked me as I shrugged. "Nah you know why,"
"I couldn't nut and he got mad and we argued a little and then I left and I haven't talked to him since then," I explained making him chuckle.
"Nigga probably hate me now. I need to talk to him and Og about that fucking money. It's been too long. The sale itself is already gonna take a minute then so is the wiring process. It seems like niggas don't wanna talk about shit and it's pissing me off. Oh yea!" He spoke picking up his bag that he walked in with and opened it up. He pulled out two stacks of money and handed it to me. "Yo 2000,"
"I told you not to pay me back. We're good," I spoke pushing it back over to him.
"Nah gang I'm not about to ju-,"
"When I said I gotchu that didn't mean I gotchu only if you pay me back. I told you I wasn't worried about a pay back so just keep the money. Seriously. I don't want it," I told him putting it back into his bag making him sign.
"You gotta lemme do sum...," he mumbled looking at me.
"Just keep being you man. We're good," I told him with a small smile before laying back down.
"You want a shot?" He asked me as I shrugged.
"I guess," I replied leaning over to him after grabbing a cup so he could pour my shot.
Weed and cologne. Fuck...
"You good? You breathing hard and you haven't even drank to shít yet," he said to me making me chuckle.
"You just smell good. That's all," I told him honestly not even caring. Didn't Novian say go for it?
"Thanks...you really crushing on me huh? That's crazy I've never had another like me before," he spoke taking a shot.
"How do you feel about it?" I asked him seriously as he looked at me.
"I don't feel no way about it. I know you not gone disrespect me or force me into nothing and I'm comfortable in my sexuality so I'm not tweaking about it. To me it's whatever," he replied.
"So do I need to get over my crush?" I asked him as he ignored me taking another fat ass shot.
"I can't tell you how to feel," he replied clearing his throat. "You hungry? Let's order sum,"
"Cev, you know that's not wh-,"
"Coney? I'll get here the fastest and it's fire. Yea imma get some coney. I'll buy you some too what do you want Cordell?" He asked me as I just looked at him.
His deep voice, his smell, his face, his jokes, the way he carried himself, his walk, his attitude, that bratiness, chefs kiss.
This nigga is doing something to me. P who?