JULIA
My phone started ringing as soon as we got into the cab. Rory was oddly quiet and looked pretty spaced out as I reached for my phone that lay in my pocket. My eyes rolled at the contact. Mom. I wondered what she wanted. If she was drunk and was already sprawled out on the couch with a bottle in her hand. The last thought in her mind was that maybe her daughter wasn't in her bedroom or in New Haven at all. After that dinner and heart to heart, I didn't know how to feel about us. Just out of the blue, she wants to be my mother again? Even thinking about the woman was a mindfuck.
"Hey mom"
"Hey baby", a lazy drawl and a drunken giggle later followed. "Are you in New York right now?" The sounds of booming music, glasses clinking and loud conversation served as background noise. Great, she's at a bar.
"Yeah. Why do you ask?" I asked, resting my head on the window that revealed the exciting city lights and uptown streets.
"Well, since you were leaving for New York. I thought I would come to your father's place in Hartford, y'know? Maybe patch things up between us. However, when I knocked on his door, some brown woman opened it. Ugh, Julia, I'm telling you the nerve she had to ask me to leave was shocking and so rude. I mean, James should be knowing better than to be sleeping with some gold digger. She looked so smug in her little silk bathrobe that she had on. The little bitch"
"Wait, you didn't know that dad was sleeping with someone else before you guys got divorced?" I asked her, but I almost immediately regreted even saying it. A deep sense of dread washed over me when I replayed the moment he told me about her.
"Well...", He ran his hand through his gelled back hair "I've found another woman and I've been getting to know her"
"Does mom know?" I asked, no emotion behind my voice.
"No and I would really appreciate that you don't tell her you know how . . . . sensitive she is"
God. How could I have forgotten so easily? I wasn't supposed to tell this her but now she knows. She knows that I was told about it and I didn't say a word to her on the matter. Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes as I felt the weight of a hundred bricks on my shoulders. This is the one time I get to enjoy myself outside of New Haven and . . . this just had to happen.
"You knew about her?!" she exclaimed, a tone of despair and betrayal in her voice. "And you didn't tell me."
"Mom -" I pleaded, but I was quickly cut off.
"Save it. You all don't deserve me. Fuck you, your dad and this whole fuckin family! I'm done." she spits out with so much bite in her words, letting all her anger and frustration out on me. It almost seems as if she has been wanting to say it since forever. My mother ends the call with that dramatic monologue. Finally, getting the last word.
What have I done? I smothered my face with my hand, releasing a huge sigh of frustration as my head hit the cushioned seat. I'm in New York with my gorgeous girlfriend. I should be having fun and making the most of it, but here I am worrying about my pathetic mother. Sorry, scratch that. My pathetic parents. I hate my dad for cheating and sleeping with some other woman when he had a wife at home and a daughter to think and care about. I hate my mom for acting like an angel and for defending my father when I used to argue with him. But above all, I hate myself for being the product of their past love.
"Are you okay?" Rory asked, a caring hand on my knee.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I put her hand back in her lap, and a hurt expression took over her face. I felt so bad inside for being the cause of such a pretty face looking so sad. I couldn't tell her once again that I was going through something. I mean who wants to stay with someone who just vents all the time? Someone who can't afford to live in the present.
After a couple of minutes, the car stopped near the Metropolitan Opera House at Lincoln Center. Big crowds of people of different shapes and colors, all dressed in formal wear, were walking their merry way inside the place. New York's elite and also bored. Earlier today, I got a call from Uncle John confirming that he would be here with his wife and newborn. He also said he was happy to see me since it had been a long time since we'd last seen each other, which truthfully made my heart melt. Uncle John is my dad's brother and complete opposite of him. Personality wise, anyway. Side by side, they looked the exact same.
I paid the taxi driver with the loose cash I had in my wallet and we got ourselves out of the cab. Rory was angrily walking ahead of me to the ticket entry line, instead of with me. She looked absolutely mesmerising tonight, those smokey eyes, the silky black dress and of course the bracelet on her wrist I gave her, sparkled in the darkness of night. The bracelet was another apology gift I had planned with the David Bowie vinyl but a quick talk with Blake had me convinced it would be overkill. Rory looked so happy when she saw it, but it felt as if she was also trying to reject that feeling, too? I don't know. It just felt that way when she asked me if I did that to every woman I had been with. As if. Only one woman named Aurora Conway. Eventually, we get to our Parterre box, and they are already there.
His wife, my Aunt Margaret, was wearing a navy blue dress with a sweetheart neckline, while a pearl necklace hung loosely around her neck, shining brightly under the lights of the auditorium, although it also brought notice to the bags forming under her eyes. The cause of that wrapped in her arms, a baby pink blanket swaddled around the small body. Uncle John matched, wearing a navy blue suit with a red handkerchief in his breast pocket. A happy grin appeared on his face when his eyes met mine.
"Uncle John, how are you?" I asked as I went out to shake his hand.
"As good as someone who just had a baby," he joked with me before firmly shaking the hand I had offered. "And who is this young lady?"
Rory faltered a bit in his gaze, so to calm her down, I wrapped my arm around her waist. She relaxed in my touch, and it made me feel whole lot better considering the cold shoulder she was giving me before. "She's my girlfriend. Rory, this is my Uncle John. Uncle John, this is Aurora Conway."
A surprised expression etched across his face, and the grin stayed on his lips. "Oh well it's nice to meet you." He gave me a I'm definitely going to hold this against you look and I let him because it is my fault for bringing my girlfriend here. "How is your mom? Especially after the divorce"
Then, it felt as if someone punched me with a heavy boxing glove. The brunnette beside me, held my hand, intertwining our fingers, the thought of how our hands melded so well together was enough for me to speak now. "She's fine. You must have already seen dad with his new girlfriend. Heard she's fitting in with him pretty well."
"Yeah, we did, actually. Sonya is nice and your dad seems happy with her. Margaret and I had only come to visit him to tell him he's stupid for signing those divorce papers, but we got quiet when we realized how comfortable he was with her. I mean- I know my responsibility as the younger sibling is to make my brother's life a living hell, but . . . I couldn't bring myself to bring it up."
Sonya. So, that's the name of the person who tore our family apart. Yeah, I know my dad is to blame too but that woman should have known who she was hooking up with. She should have known better . . . right? Or did my dad just not care enough to tell her that he was married? Was he certain since the moment they met that he was going to forget about his family? I had only questions and absolutely no answers. I couldn't believe what he said. My mind didn't fully process it until my Aunt Margaret got up from her seat and put an arm around me.
"Oh Julia, you're so tall now. What are you a giraffe?" my aunt joked, a smile on her face that told me she didn't hear the conversation we had earlier.
"Hello to you too," a grin appeared on my face despite the fact that I felt my stomach churning. "And who is this little girl?" I asked with a baby voice as my eyes set on the biggest doe eyes only babies have.
"We've named her Fiona, after my late mother," her eyes started to tear up a little, but not before she asked if I wanted to hold her. Aunt Margaret slowly handed me Fiona, and as she did, I could feel my protective instincts come over me. I cradled the blanketed baby in my arms, watching as it kicked its small feet and reached out for me with its small teeny tiny hands. I could have died with the amount of happiness I felt in those moments.
I could understand now how mothers say you forget about the pain of childbirth when you look into the eyes of your newborn. Sure, I am too young to be thinking of children, and I haven't really been too fond of them because of the lack of exposure I have around them. I felt the sting of my uncle's words melt into nothing when Fiona bopped my nose with her out reached finger. Rory was right beside me, noticing and watching how mushy I acted around a baby, probably stifling a chuckle.
Soon enough, the show was about to begin, and we all started settling into the comfort of our seats. The panoramic view of people crowding up the place, the intricate golden tiering over the balcony-like boxes, and the enormous dark red curtains swiftly opening in front of the stage. I flited my eyes to my girlfriend. I am so lucky. I am beyond lucky to have a person like her right now in my life. I should apologise for acting like a jerk earlier.
"Aurora." I whispered so as not to catch the attention of my relatives.
Her eyes widened in surprise. "You never call me Aurora."
"I'm sorry for not telling you how I felt. I knew I told you that I would be more open, but this still feels new. You know?"
"Don't worry about it. I'm fine about that now"
"You sure?"
"Yes. Now enjoy the show" she said, with a tone of sarcasm as her eyes flitted to the direction of the stage. I followed exactly what she told me and directed all my attention toward the ballet dancers dressed up in feather white leotards when I felt lips press against my cheek. "Thank you for bringing me here."
"You're welcome." I whispered back, a tint of pink tainting my face and a new sense of shyness coming over me.
◇
After the show was over, they invited us over for dinner at some fancy restaurant, and we accepted because, truthfully, I was starving. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. The place was alive and humming when we arrived. Jazz music played by a quartet in the corner, tux-wearing waiters flitted past us holding silver trays full of entrées and glasses of wine. The feeling of everything and everyone being so alive around me, I could have felt my pulse thrumming, and my senses heightened.
They had us seated at a round white clothed table that already had a complimentary bottle of champagne on top of it, a nice red ribbon wrapped around it. Our waiter smiled at my uncle before filling up his glass with bubbles of expensive champagne. He poured that stuff into all our glasses. Mind you, Rory and I are under twenty-one, so we shoot each other glances of uncertainty before taking small sips.
"So, Rory, what are your plans for the future?" Aunt Margaret asked, her arm now officially baby free. She had their personal driver bring Fiona back to their apartment in SoHo. I could now understand why people said they hated us.
"Uh well," she pushed a loose bang nervously behind her ear. "I'm thinking of getting a degree in Literature at Harvard."
"Harvard is respectable. What about the other Ivy Leagues?" Uncle John chimed in, his hands clasped together.
"Harvard is the best university in America, and I have my eyes set on going on there."
"That's very brave of you. Julia, you have already applied to Princeton, right? As per your father's request". This was from Aunt Margaret.
"Yeah, I did. I applied to other Ivies as well. Yale, Harvard, Brown." I listed some other universities, wanting to avoid talk of Princeton.
"Yale would be good for you. I was a Yalie too, y'know? And if you decide you want to go there, I'll teach you the fight song" my aunt replied, a chuckle finishing her sentence.
"I might just take you up on that." I said, a genuine smile broke out on my face.
We made some more casual conversation until our plated foods arrived at our table. All talk of my dad and that woman were replaced with more lighthearted topics like school, basketball, and our current interests. I enjoyed myself and relished in the fact that it had been a long time since I was surrounded by family. Even Rory was cracking up at my uncle's lame jokes and talking with my aunt about her love of literature and photography. I felt normal. It had felt as if this was my real family, and I had brought Rory home for the first time. However, we should all know by now that all good things will come to a screeching halt.
◇
Rory and I were coming back to our hotel room. She was a little tipsy and a lot more giggly. It was basically midnight. There was only pin drop silence to be heard in the hallways well except for Rory's cute giggles as she held onto my bicep for balance. Her curls were more frizzy, lipgloss non-existent now, and a new sparkle of mischief in her eyes. She looked so pretty. I swiped the key card on the pad next to our door, and we got into the room. The door automatically locked behind us. The brunnette lazily grinned at me before wrapping her arms around my neck. Her body was pressed against mine when she kissed me, tilting her head in the process.
With Rory so close to me, my body began to wake up all over. I kissed her back with even more passion than I ever had before because of the insane confidence that the liqour in my system gave to me. I slipped my hands around her waist as I deepened the kiss and ran my tongue along her bottom lip, requesting for entry. Rory parted her lips and let my tongue explore her mouth with light, fleeting touches. She moaned into my mouth, and that made my brain immediately go fuzzy. Outside, darkness prevailed. Inside, a new type of light awoke in us. I walked Rory backwards until her back hit the edge of the bed. My fingers played with the thin straps of her dress.
"May I?" I asked gently, trying not to force her to do anything she didn't want to.
"Yes, you may." she whispered to me, her eyes looking into mine with an indescribable emotion. It hadn't crossed my mind that this might be Rory's first. With that in my mind, I slid the dress off of her body, letting it pool around her feet. My eyes shamelessly roamed her body.
"You are beautiful." I said, grabbing her thighs and wrapping them around my waist. Her hips immediately bucked up when I touched them. A sweet giggle escaped her mouth in response. I ravished her mouth again as I laid her down on the bed. I paused the kissing to take off my jacket and undo the buttons of my shirt. I didn't take my eyes off of her as I did so, and nor did she, which made me feel a little hot and bothered. I started peppering kisses down her neck and in the valley of her breasts.
"Julia. Stop." she whispered, her breath shaky. I stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes with confusion clouding my thoughts.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No, you didn't. I- I just haven't done this sort of thing before." she looked nervous, and her cheeks were red. I hadn't ever seen her like this before, and so I chalked it up to nerves of having sex for the first time.
"Okay. I promise I'll be gentle." I threaded my fingers in her curls and watched as her face relaxed from my touch. "Do you trust me?"
There was a pause. "Yeah. I do. " her voice is barely over a whisper, but I heard it loud and clear.
After that, I was careful with how I touched her, sweet talking her until we had done it. The Big It. We laid down next to each other on the bed, stark naked under our the blanket. Our eyes faced each other, but we didn't utter a word, afraid it would break the moment. A certain glow radiated off of her face, her lips were slightly swollen from all the kissing, and her baby blues sparkled under the darkness that cascaded in the room. Looking at her like this, I realised that I was grateful that I had a night like this with her and how special this is for the both of us.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Anything." A shy smile grew on her lips before bringing herself closer to me. Her forehead now touching mine, her nose inches away from me.
"I'm glad that we did this. Y'know, I wasn't expecting it to happen tonight, but I am so happy it did." I pushed a loose bang behind her ear before swiping my thumb across her cheek.
"You are?" she chuckled, amused by my confession with the show of her pretty pearly whites.
"Yeah, I am." I kissed her slowly this time, like I had all the time in the world to spare. She stopped kissing me back just to smile against my lips.
"Well, I am too Bond."
"I love you, Aurora Conway." I almost immediately regreted saying it as soon as it slipped out my mouth.
I could hear her take a sharp inhale as a mix of emotions clouded her blue eyes. She stayed silent, so I continued to speak.
"I have loved you ever since that first chemistry class. Well, no, I was actually infatuated with you." I could feel her hum in satisfaction against my chest. "Everything about you. Your angel face, your wild brown hair, your wit. Then, I got to actually know you, and I started loving you so much more. I love you, Rory. I always have."
Tears started welling up in her eyes, "I love you more, Julia. You manage me feel I'm the only girl in your world all the time, every day." she replied, her fingers playing with the hair falling on my face.
"Why don't we go to sleep? I'm so tired." I mumbled slowly before she nodded in agreement. I reached out to close the night lamp, letting the bedroom encompass in complete darkness, and then spooned Rory from behind.
I placed a soft kiss under her ear, "Goodnight, honey." I whispered. In my head, a question mark appears. I just called her honey. Wow. I am such a 45 year old by heart.
"Goodnight, babe." she accentuates it to add humour, and it works because I hummed and smiled against her neck.
Soon enough, sleep takes over my whole body, and I feel the most fulfilled and happy than I ever have in my whole life.