My eyes are on the TV screen, but the truth is I haven't been paying attention to the movie for the last thirty minutes because Grayson is sitting right by me, and I can't help but feel his eyes on me.
I get up from the carpet and walk around the back of the couch to head upstairs so that I change out of these clothes.
Everyone continues to watch the movie, but I can see Grayson watching me from the corner of my eye. I make it upstairs to the quiet of my room and click my door shut, letting out a deep sigh.
We kissed. And I liked it. I more than liked it. No one has ever kissed me like that before. No kiss has ever made me feel the way Grayson's just did. And that's a problem.
I grab a random pair of sweatpants and change out of my jean shorts. Then I find my coziest T-shirt and slip it on after stripping off my sweatshirt. I don't feel like going back downstairs at all, and my bed just a few feet away keeps calling my name.
But I know it would only worry my mom and grandparents more.
I open my door and gasp, grabbing my heart. Grayson is standing there, leaning against the wall in front of my room, with his hands in his pockets.
"Hey," he says, standing straighter.
I let out a breath. "You scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry," he says quietly. "You ran upstairs. I thought maybe something was wrong."
I clear my throat and cross my arms. "No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to change into something more comfortable."
He nods slowly, his eyes unfocused. I'm unsure if he wants to talk about what happened because I certainly do not. At least not right now.
I can't stand the silence between us in the hallway. I kissed him first. I don't regret doing it, but what if I ruined the bit of mutual like we had going for each other? He probably thinks I'm some kiss-deprived weirdo.
"We should go back downstairs. Star-Lord awaits."
Grayson keeps his eyes on the hardwood floor. "You go. I think I'm ready to call it a night."
I hesitate in the hall, wringing my hands. "Are you sure?"
His eyes meet mine. "Yeah, Layla. I'm sure."
So maybe he doesn't want to talk about it either after all. I head back downstairs without Grayson.
— — —
Aunt Leah and Uncle Dom arrived early this morning with my cousins Maya, who's fifteen, and Asher, who recently just turned twelve. Aunt Leah is the youngest Langley sibling. Uncle Jack is the oldest, and Mom is the middle child, which is funny to think about because it's clear she's the favorite.
Mom's family is all here now and gathered in the backyard of Uncle Jack and Aunt Caroline's house as Uncle Jack barbecues burgers for us for dinner tonight.
Grayson is sitting down by the pool next to Brett. They're talking about something. I'm sitting at the table drinking lemonade next to Iris as she gushes about Baker, but my eyes keep wandering over to the certain someone sitting by the pool.
We haven't spoken in two days, and it's making me restless. Since that night, under the dim light of the hallway.
"Tomorrow's the fourth of July, and I know we're supposed to watch the fireworks as a family, but Baker wants to watch them with me."
"Oh?"
Grayson laughs at something Brett just said; his hair pushed back with a backward cap.
"What's up with you?" She asks.
I turn my attention back to her. "What? Nothing. Sorry. I think you should go. We'll have many more Fourth of July's with the family."
She chews on her bottom lip. "You think so?"
"Totally."
"Okay," she grins. "I'm gonna go call Baker."
Iris leaves me alone at the table. A few moments later, Grandpa fills her chair, sitting beside me.
"Is everything okay, Laylabug?"
I smile at him. "Yeah, I'm good, Grandpa."
"Are you excited to see Casablanca later at the drive-in?"
I sip some more lemonade from a pink straw. "Totally. But I'm most excited about that insane cookie they sell at the concession stand. I've been craving it all year."
Grandpa laughs, pouring himself a glass of lemonade. "Grayson looks like he's starting to enjoy himself here."
I turn my head to look at Grayson again. He and Brett laugh loudly as they tease Asher by holding him over the pool. I feel my chest flutter as I watch him and hear the sound of his laughter.
"We were apprehensive that he wasn't going to like it. Or even get along with anyone, but he's proving us wrong."
I don't know what to say, so I nod.
"But Hale is worried," Grandpa adds, this time quietly.
That makes me turn my attention straight back to him. "Why is that?"
Grandpa sighs and shrugs, setting his glass of lemonade down. "Grayson has a history. That worries Hale. His father is trying to get him to see him. And despite the situation with his father, Hale believes something else has been going on with Grayson since he got here."
I remember the silent conversation between Hale and Grayson about how his father wanted to see him. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and I'm suddenly hit with the memory of Grayson doing the same thing Friday night.
"He talked to you about it?"
"Yes, alone, without your mother. He wanted my advice on how to approach Grayson about it. Grayson is very sensitive with talking about matters relating to his father."
And he has the right to be.
"I came over here because I thought you could try to bring it up to him. Hale believes he should see his father, hear him out, and I do too."
"Why me?"
Grandpa shrugs, sipping from his glass. "You seem to get through to him. It's worth it to go there and figure out why the sudden change in his father's attitude toward seeing him."
"Okay," I nod. "I'll try."
Grandpa pats me on the shoulder and leaves the table to converse with his children by the barbecue station.
Once the burgers are ready, we all gather around the table to eat.
Everyone seems lost in private conversations, but I'm sitting in silence.
"Not hungry?" Hale asks Grayson quietly, my mom sitting between them.
Grayson hasn't touched his food, and I realize neither have I. He eyes my plate, then meets my eyes. "No," he says, looking back at his uncle.
My mom places a hand on Grayson's shoulder, and I see him tense. "Are you okay, Grayson?"
Grayson exhales. "I'm fine. I'm just not hungry."
Grayson looks at me again, and I have to look away this time because something in his gaze is different, and I know something has changed between us.
Once everyone is done eating, the whole family heads over to the drive-in. I'm sitting in Iris's car with her and Maya, and because I drove, I'm in the Driver's seat. Iris has her legs up on the dash, and her seat is pushed back.
We're about twenty-five minutes into Casablanca when Maya announces that she has to pee.
"Seriously, Maya? Now I have to go too," Iris groans. Maya chuckles as they both leave me in the silence of the car.
I stare at the big screen on the field, but my mind is elsewhere today. I can't seem to focus on anything. The passenger door opens, and Grayson slips inside the car. I sit up straighter, surprised by his sudden appearance.
"Hey," he says, staring ahead.
He rests his elbow on the armrest, his familiar scent making its way over to me. He smells so good I want to lean over and breathe him in.
"Hi."
"Noah's here."
I sigh, slightly annoyed. "Seriously?"
"I doubt he's going to be a problem with so many people around, but I thought I'd let you know." He's still not looking at me.
"James?" I ask.
Grayson shakes his head. "No sign of him. Yet."
A minute passes. It feels like the longest minute of my entire life. If he's not going to bring up the kiss, then I sure as hell won't either.
"Are you going to see your dad?" I ask.
Grayson finally looks at me. "I don't know. Maybe."
"Do you want to?"
"No." He pulls the backward cap off his head, runs his fingers through his hair, then puts it back on the right way. "It doesn't matter what I want, though."
"Why do you think he wants to see you?"
Grayson doesn't answer that. Instead, he asks, "Can I see your phone for a minute?"
I pull my phone out of my jeans and hand it to him. I can't see what he's doing, but his thumbs flash over the screen, the white light illuminating his face in the dark.
"Here," he says, giving it back to me. "I put my number in there. Call me if Noah or James or anyone decides to fuck around. Don't hesitate. Okay?"
"Okay," I nod, feeling the phone's weight in my hand and something else in my stomach.
His gaze softens. "You promise?"
I reach out and run the tip of my pointer finger along his forehead, down to his jaw. "I promise."
He grabs my hand with both of his, places a soft kiss on my knuckles, and then slips out of the car.
My heart beats wildly in my chest as the passenger and back doors open simultaneously.
"Was that Grayson?" Maya asks, reclaiming her middle seat in the back. When my eyes meet Iris's, she's smirking.
"Yeah," I nod, focusing on the screen.
I see Maya making an odd face in the back from the rearview mirror. "What was he doing in here?" She asks, confused.
"Yes, Layla, please enlighten us. What was Grayson doing in here?"
"Nothing. He's a movie guy. He was asking me about the movie."
Iris taps a finger on her chin. "Interesting. Very interesting."
"I'm going to get a cookie," I say quickly. "You guys want one?"
"M&M," Maya says from the back, now focused on the movie.
"I'll do an oatmeal raisin, please, and thank you."
"You're a weird person, Iris," I smile, stepping out of the car.
Iris smiles back at me. "I like the word unique more."
"Nope," I shake my head. "You're just weird, plain and simple."
She blows me a kiss, and I laugh, shutting the door. I weave through the cars, and it feels like the whole town is here tonight, with how busy it is. Teenagers are loitering around the concession stand, and I get in line, rubbing a hand over my arm.
When it's finally my turn, I order Maya and Iris's, a classic chocolate chunk for myself, and a peanut butter one for Grandpa."
The employee smiles and hands me the warm cookies, each in their bag. I thank her and walk back over to the cars. But on my journey back, I see Grayson following a group of people out in the field by the screen.
What are you doing, Grayson?
I should go back and pretend I didn't see anything. Right?
That would be the smart decision.
Fuck it. I haven't been making smart decisions at all lately.