Monday morning went just as expected. The stares, the questioning eyes, the rumours and of course the endless amount of pity.
Kaylee tried to get my mind off the accident, can I even call it that anymore? Shawn and Trevor were a great help too, by acting like everything is normal. The problem is they were trying just a little bit to hard which reinforced that everything was in fact not normal.
Ben on the other hand acted like there was a stick up his ass the whole day. I even went out of my way to be there for him, when I saw him, yet he completely ignored me.
I can't complain much, honestly, everyone was decent. There was no mean jokes or pranks pulled on me. No nasty anonymous texts and or calls. Besides the occasional stare, frown and awkward silence of entering a room, today really wasn't that bad.
"Are you sure you're up to babysitting?" I hate babysitting but I need a distraction and this one literally fell right into my lap. So who I am to refuse?
"Yep, it's no problem. Actually I could use the distraction", Mrs Brown smiles a hesitant smile like she completely forgot about my dads death and my almost death. Actually, maybe she did... like maybe she did forget altogether. Truth be told, she doesn't seem like someone who would/ does keep up with watching the news or any news for that matter.
God, I'm judgey, who cares? It's a night out of the house with free pizza for dinner and unlimited cable. Kidding, this is the 21st century no one watches cable anymore.
Free Netflix from Mr. Browns account- just seeing what my principal watches on his down time is enough of a reason to watch his poorly behaved kids. Did I mention that they're twins? Two five year old identical twins. There names are Chanel and Coco not that it matters because if you had a gun to my head I still wouldn't be able to tell them apart. Though, I don't feel too bad because they think my name is "Ready."
Sometimes I wonder how this happened? Like why I am- me of all people babysitting for my principal who doesn't even live remotely close by... the reason is one word; Kaylee.
The Browns are Kaylee's neighbours. Mrs. Brown asked Kaylee to babysit one time and Kay being her, roped me into it. Now, almost five years later, Kaylee hasn't babysat since and I'm here at least a few times a year when their nanny needs a break.
I guess that's technically a lie because Kaylee does stop by to hangout with me but she completely ignores the girls so I'm pretty sure that doesn't count as babysitting.
"Red? Earth to Redford?" At the mention of my full name I snap out of whatever trance I was in. I look up and meet Kaylee's eyes, "I said, do you want me to get that?" It takes me a moment to realize she's talking about the door because the pizzas here. "No, I got it."
"Cash or credit?" "Here", I say to the pizza delivery man instead of answering. He's familiar; definitely goes to our school but I can't remember his name or even what grade he's in. As I hand the him a twenty, it takes him just a moment too long to count the money and figure out how much to give back from his shirt pocket. Right when he's about to give me back change I remember my manners and tell him to, "keep the change." He mumbles a quick "thanks", even though with tax the large pizza came out to be just under twenty dollars anyways.
I carry the pizza in and bite my lip to hold in my laugh when I see Kaylee struggling to put one of the twins in a high chair. "Thank god!" She says as soon as she notices me, "this is your problem not mine." I set the pizza down as Kaylee moves around me to no doubt grab a slice. "Aren't they a little old to be in high chairs?" Kay drops her piece, "that's what I'm saying!"
By the time I finally get one twin into her high chair I don't bother helping the other one. Which of course, makes the twin in the high chair mad because she sister doesn't have to be strapped in like her. Only after I promise chocolate cake does twin A in the high chair stops having her tantrum.
"Jesus, I fucking hate children." "Don't swear in front of them", but to be honest I'm kind of thinking the same thing.
I silently pray that there's a piece of frozen cheesecake in the Browns freezer because if there isn't it's about to be world war three.
I smile when I find a box of mini cheesecakes and I pull one out to unthaw it.
By the time the devil twins are sleeping I'm exhausted and ready to go home. Kaylee left about an hour ago because she needed to go home to do her "skin care routine."
It's just different, being in someone else's home. With no one checking on me I can let the emotions come which is why I find myself crying while watching The 101 Dalmatians and eating my very own mini cheesecake. It not a sad movie, yet I can't stop bawling.
By the time my principal and his wife get home I'm mostly fine. I'm not actively crying but the remanence is still there. The puffy red eyes don't exactly leave much to the imagination. Yet, the Browns have the competence to say nothing. If anything, my principal was the highlight of my night. Not because he tried to make me feel better but instead because his clearly dislike towards me is comical. If I wasn't sure him asking, "where's Kaylee? I thought she was babysitting?" Would be all the confirmation I needed.
I decide to walk home, even though it's about a thirty minute walk. Kaylee drove here and it must of slipped her mind that I would be without a ride home. I debated about walking over to her house and asking for a ride but she would have invited me for a sleepover if I asked. I'm just not in the mood. 'Maybe that's why she didn't offer a to give me a ride? Because she wanted me to ask her for one? Or because she wanted a sleepover without having to ask? Whatever. Who cares.'
Maybe the Browns aren't such great people after all, because who lets a teenager girl walk home alone after she babysat your demon twins? That's not totally true, Mrs. Brown offered to give me a ride home but as soon as I shot her down she only offered one more time until she dropped it.
It's not cold, but the air definitely has a bite to it. I'm grateful because it allows for a clear head. I think about my dad, even though I don't want to. I think about how I've done such a disservice to him lately since I haven't thought about him, besides in passing. Every time I think about him it's because something reminds me of him and than I force myself to think of something else. I force myself to forget because it's easier; so much easier. Because if I don't remember him the pain isn't all consuming.
But maybe it's time to let myself feel which is why I remember his deep laugh, the way he would dance with my mom in the kitchen and the way he made the best tacos.
I stop at the little park by my house because I'm too upset to go inside. There's a peacefulness, even a beauty about how quiet and calm it is. I know I should be scared because it's dark and I'm alone but I'm anything but. I let myself swing on a rusted swing that's been around since at least the eighties for awhile. For the first time in weeks, my mind is at ease.
"Isn't it late for a lady like you to be out?" The voice startles me but it doesn't scare me. Maybe it's because I have no self-preservation, but I prefer to think it's because the voice is kind and gentle. "No", is not the best answer but I didn't know what else to say. Only now do I realize that I didn't have to say anything at all.
"You should be out and about, in the limelight. Not here", I can't help but laugh, "you just told me it's too late to be out." He smiles, and only than do I get a good look at him. He's older, with greying hair, dark warm skin and bright brown eyes. But what really shines through is his perfect smile. His smile isn't perfect because his teeth are pearly, white and straight. His smile is perfect because it's big and genuine. The lines around his face are also very telling, he's a man who is no stranger to smiling.
"I need to get home", I say unbothered. I know I should care that it's dark and I'm alone with this strange man- and strange is the perfect way to describe him. He's not strange because he's a weirdo, but he is odd but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, all the best people are, that is odd. And maybe that's why I don't care that I'm alone with him in a park.
"I should go", he nods, "take care." I smile and wave as I turn to take the catwalk out of the park.
I wake up only because I taste dirt, my first thought is, 'that's gross' when it should of been, 'why is there dirt in my mouth?' I hear a scream and my eyes shoot open I'm modified that a little girl with a lollipop is staring at me. "Is she homeless?" The middle aged woman who I'm assuming is her mom quickly moves her daughter away from me with no comment.
I don't say a word as I get up and start to run.
I feel momentarily bad because I should go check on the older man I met last night. Unlike me, I'm pretty sure he's actually homeless. I doubt the little girl and her mom were very nice to him.
I don't end up going back and checking on the elderly man. I tell myself it doesn't matter because he was just a stranger since I didn't get his name, and he didn't ask for mine.
I cut what's left of the fifteen minute walk from the Browns house to a wapping seven minutes. Regardless, it doesn't matter because as soon as I open my front door I see my mom talking on the phone. "Never mind. She's here", she slams the phone down and I know I have about one second until I have hell to pay. It doesn't feel like it's even been a second when she says, "where the hell have you been?!"
It could of been a lot worse. Kaylee tried to cover for me and said we were having a sleepover. But that got exposed as a lie when Laurel, Kaylee's mom texted my mom that we should all come over later for a barbecue.
Surprisingly, my mom cools down pretty fast. She's still pissed but she just thinks I crashed at Shawn's and I was embarrassed so I lied. To be honest, I don't know if that's even better than the truth. Sleeping in a park to me is equally bad as sleeping at Shawns but I know it won't be that way to my mom. I'm not allowed to sleep at any guys house but for whatever reason- probably because Shawn's dad is a cop my mom actually likes Shawn so she's not as mad. However, she knows him and Kaylee are dating. So now she thinks I'm after him and Kaylee and I are fighting over him which doesn't even makes sense since she covered for me.
I'm grounded indefinitely but I don't really care because I've been grounded before and all that means is I have to be extra cautious. I'm sure that within a couple days mom will forget about it and things will go back to normal. Especially, with everything that's happened, I have a lot more important things to care about than being, 'grounded'.
I go to school in the same clothes I wore yesterday which is bad because teenagers notice crap like that. Kaylee definitely noticed but for once she uses her filter and doesn't say anything. I finally get my chemistry quiz back and let's just say, keeping a B in the class is proving to be a challenge.
French isn't much better which isn't surprising considering that I don't speak French.
By the time school is over I have more than enough homework for a week that's expected to be done by tomorrow morning. I make plans to meet with Sophie since she was born in France and still goes to visit her mom every summer. I know it's bad that I'm totally using her but she offered that I could hit her up anytime for extra French help. And especially with my chemistry quiz tanking my average I need all the help I can get.
Sophie puts the Q in quirky. There's nothing wrong or overly weird about her. It's just everything; from the way she talks to how her bedroom walls are an electric green colour. She's fun and enthusiastic which makes French verbs a lot better than they would be on there own. Which is why I must be a bitch because I find her just exhausting. Even with her quirkiness she still fits the cheerleader stereotype. She's so enthusiastic, outgoing, and happy- to me it's just annoying. I know that makes me a major bitch, which is why I keep the thought to myself.
By the time our hour and a half study session is over all I feel is relief. Not because I know a lot more French verbs which is true but because I'm happy, I can leave. She's just tiring, 'there's no way anyone can really be that happy?' As soon as the thought crosses my mind I know it's wrong because she clearly is. I don't get anything less than genuine from her which only makes me feel worse for thinking mean things about her. She's a nice person and a studious student, plus a great cheerleader. If she wasn't a freshman we definitely would have been close.
To her credit, she doesn't ask until I'm almost out the door, "Red I was wondering-" nothing is free which is why I'm not surprised Sophie wanted something. I'm not the slightest bit mad because it's only fair. Since she spent an hour and a half helping me get basic French words and was not only extremely helpful but patience. I smile encouragingly, waiting for whatever she's going to ask. She doesn't disappoint, "I know you and Kaylee are best friends and I know she gets to nominate someone for cheer captain and-" I cut her off with a smile, grateful it's such a easy request, "you want me to put in a good word?" At Sophie's hesitant smile I know the truth, that's a yes.
"Of course", I walk out the door than I turn back around, "and just so you know, I would have anyway because you deserve to be captain." I'm sure that's going to raise hell since next year she'll only be in grade ten but that doesn't change the fact that she's the best cheerleader on the team by a long shot and is already leading the team. I'm just a little disappointed that I won't be around to witness the hell a sophomore, cheerleading, captain will bring to all the other jealous girls on the team. Assuming she actually becomes captain.
"Thanks Red!" I just wink like I'm in one of those cringey, poor done romcoms.
On my way to my room I get sidetracked which is how I find myself walking over to Bens room. I can't remember the last time I talked to Ben and I don't think he cares much since as soon as he saw me slammed his bedroom door in face. "That almost hit me asshole!" It wasn't even close to hitting me but I want attention from my baby brother and guilting him seems like the way to go.
I hear a loud sigh which is how I know I've won. Ben opens the door with a scowl already in place and bags under his eyes from no doubt gaming like a complete nerd. Being a big sister I of course have to comment on this, "when was the last time you got some sun?" Ben flips me off which has me yelling, "mom! Ben just gave me the finger!" Ben tries to cover my mouth with his grimy little nerd boy hands but I'm too fast.
I end up dropping Ben off at his only friends house as a peace offering. Ryan doesn't say a word to me when he opens the door. Even though I was with Ben on the front step. "You need to work on your social skills!" I call out, Ryan and Ben ignore me like I'm not even there. "You should be grateful I you a ride!" Again, they say nothing to me but at least this time it's because they're already in a different room.
As I walk down Ryan's front steps I can't help but think I've been played. I wanted to connect with-, or at least try connecting with my younger brother. Instead, I tried to do something nice for him to make him happy and he completely ignored me.
Instead of going straight home I decide to take a detour and hit the McDonald's drive through for a large Coke and fry. As soon I get my order I park in the parking lot.
I can't help but think what would happen if someone from school saw me like this. A cheerleader shoving French fries into her mouth isn't exactly a good look. I could only imagine how much worse it is for Kaylee to have to live with this constant kind of pressure to be perfect in every way. No wonder, she's so strict about her diet and exercise routine.
Halfway through my fries I decide that eating alone in silence is a little too depressing even for me. I reach to turn on the radio but my hand draws back almost immediately. I haven't listen to the buzz of music in a car since-
I hate the sound of silence so much that I decide to push myself; I turn on the radio after all. Instead of some catching pop tune I'm shocked at what I hear. The reporter strings the words murder and Beetle Academy together.
Suddenly, enraptured by the radio I turn in up. I listen attentively, as a different women begins to speak. This women is adamant that there's been a homicide at Beetle Academy not a murder. The two women bicker about the cause of death while I can't help but think who cares? At least someone at that school is dead; do the circumstances really matter? I cringe internally, because of course they do I would such a hypocrite to think otherwise.
I still just can't get over that Shawn of all people was right. Maybe not one hundred percent but if he was right about there being one death at the school; who's says he's not right about there being three?
Once I realize that I'm not going to get any details from the two women going back and forth I switch the radio station. Just like I expected, this has interrupted schedule programming.
The man on this station is a lot more extravagant than the other two women on the other station. I listen only for a few seconds because he loses me as soon as he starts talking about a vampire being the cause of death.
No one has every even seen a vampire. I'm not stupid enough to think they aren't real. I know they exist but they've been around for so long they have mastered what it means to blend it. Aka they cover their tracks, which is why whether it was a murder or a homicide it wasn't a vampire because a vampire wouldn't have gotten caught.
If I was with Shawn or Trevor they would call me a liar and point out vampires, "covering their tracks" isn't really a thing. They only cover their tracks by moving their victims bodies since no vampire has the will to stop. Every victims body, found has been repeatedly bitten and drained of blood. And by 'every victim', there hasn't been all that many.
Personally, I think one victim is one too many. But the fact stands, vampires and humans have always been in disagreement and we always will be. We are just too different, but since vampires are so good at deceiving and playing with people they have proven that they can stand the test of time.