I laid in my bed, listening to the muffled shouts from downstairs. I couldn't hear much, but I could hear the shuffling of Bryn being physically restrained as she shouted at Beck.
No one had followed me to my room. And for that, I was grateful.
It wasn't until hours later that a soft knock sounded against my door. I didn't move as Bryn slowly made her way into my room, silently pulling my sheets down and slipping into the bed next to me. We laid together for a while, neither of us speaking, neither of us moving, I honestly didn't know if I was even breathing anymore.
Finally, Bryn rolled onto her side to face me, speaking softly. "I hit Beck pretty hard," she whispered, a ghost of a smile twisting on her lips.
"I know," I replied, meeting her gaze. "The sound echoed through the whole house."
She laughed softly, reaching over and tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "So..." she gave me a long look. "No more Virgin Mary?" I didn't respond, just nodding my head in acknowledgment. "I'm going to try my best not to be mad that you didn't tell me." She teased.
I smiled a little bit. "I really really thought we could work out," I whispered, feeling tears form in my eyes again. "God, I feel like an idiot."
She watched me for a minute, her eyes filled with sympathy as she thought out her response. I'd never seen Bryn speechless before. It was almost comical.
At last, she spoke, her voice quiet. "I'm sorry this happened," she said simply.
I nodded. "Me too."
✣✣✣
The week flew by. I spent most of my days with my face shoved in my textbooks, keeping myself busy by putting my all into my exams.
By Friday, I had just one exam left; calculus. I debated skipping it, my grade was high enough in the class that I could have if I wanted to and I wouldn't be affected too greatly, but still, I forced myself into the classroom.
The first thing I noticed was that Beck was sitting in our usual seats, his leg bouncing up and down nervously as he studied me, his eyes silently pleading for me to come sit next to him.
I tore my eye from his, moving and sitting in the front of the class, trying to ignore the burn of his stare on the back of my head.
The exam seemed to have ended just as quickly as it began, the classroom filling with disappointed chatter as we filed out of the class. I began to walk down the hall, keeping my head down as I tried to evade Beck's pleading stare again.
A hand caught my wrist, stopping my movements and pulling me out of the crowd of people. Griff stood in front of me, his expression unreadable.
"You haven't been answering my calls," he said, turning to glance at Beck who had conveniently decided to be a part of the conversation.
I shrugged. "Been busy with exams," I offered halfheartedly, keeping my eyes off of Beck. "What's up?"
"We're going to Beck's house for fall break."
I blinked in surprise, looking between Griff and Beck who both continued to watch me expectantly. I hadn't known they were planning anything.
"Is that okay?" Griff asked, giving me a questioning look.
"I was planning on going to Bryn's," I replied, my tone sharp.
"C'mon, Em, please? It'll be the most time we've spent together since we were eight." He pleaded.
"Fine. I'll spend one night," I told him, giving Beck another look before focusing on Griff once again. "I'm not staying all week."
The boys both shared a long look before looking back at me. "My family lives in Florida," Beck explained, and I swore I saw amusement in his eyes. Son of a bitch. "You might have to stay the week."
I glared at him. He looked back at me innocently, his eyes dancing with mischief.
I shook my head, wishing I was anywhere else. "Good luck with your exams," I said, keeping my eyes on Griff before turning away.
I barely made it down the hallway before Beck was beside me, his long legs moving too quickly for me to slip away.
"So, Florida reading week?" He asked, his head tilted downwards to watch me.
I kept my head straight. "I guess so," was all I said. "I see you didn't tell my brother about our deal."
"Yeah, well, I'm a man who enjoys having his nose not broken."
"I bet." I muttered, picking up my pace.
"Em, wait, I mean it. You don't have to go if you want to go somewhere else." He stopped walking, grabbing my arm to stop me as well.
I rolled my eyes, letting out a long sigh. "Yeah, and tell my brother about what happened? No thanks," I yanked my arm from his grasp.
"You're not going to tell him?" He raised a teasing brow. "Are you protecting me?"
"No," I crossed my arms. "Trust me, I'd love to see how my brother reacts, but I don't want to deal with it."
Beck watched me for a long moment, his eyes wandering my face. "I really want to talk this through," Beck replied, his voice low, his eyes soft.
"Whatever," I mumbled, pushing past him and heading towards the parking lot.
"Wait!" Beck called out, reaching out to grab my arm again. This time, I moved it away from him.
"Fuck, Beck. Just leave me alone, okay? I'm done talking."
"I know you're hurt. We can talk about it," he insisted softly.
"I'm not talking to you."
"Just let me try to make things right. I thought we could work this out."
"I already told you, Beck. There is nothing to work out. Don't waste my time. Or yours."
"That's it then, huh?" Beck asked quietly. The pain was clear in his tone.
"That's it." I repeated.
He stared back at me for a long moment. Unspeaking, unmoving. I watched the light fade from his eyes, turning them so dark they were almost unrecognizable.
I kept my head down as I made my way to my car, wanting nothing more than to get back to my house. I pulled out my phone, sending a quick text to Bryn telling her I wouldn't be there for fall break and that I'd explain later.
It wasn't until I reached my car that someone grabbed my arm.
I yanked my arm from their grasp. "Beck, I swear to god, touch me again and I'll rip you apart." I spat, turning around. Only, I wasn't met with Beck's grey eyes, instead, dark brown pools of honey stared back at me. "Theo," I laughed nervously, running a hand down my face. "I'm sorry, it's been a stressful morning."
Theo smiled, his eyes creasing as he took a step closer to me. If I hadn't felt like shit, I would have loved to feel his warm skin against mine. Instead, I stood still, watching him carefully.
"Hey, it's fine," Theo assured me. "I haven't seen you around recently," he said, his eyes flicking over my figure. "You look great."
"Thank you." I smiled.
We stood in an awkward silence for a moment before he cleared his throat. "I've been thinking," Theo said, leaning his hip against my car. He had such a shy smile. It was so different from Beck's. "These last couple months I just have felt like you have been kind of distant," his eyes never left mine. "Which is fair, I didn't treat you even close to how you deserve to be treated, but..." he took a deep breath, his hand gently cupping my face. "I'm ready. To treat you right,"
I stared up at him, entirely unsure of how to answer him. "Theo,"
"I don't care about the sex anymore," he said quickly. "I was being an idiot, I was so caught up with my own wants and needs that I didn't stop to consider that maybe what I really wanted was right in front of me."
My breath caught in my throat.
"I need you to tell me something though," His eyes searched mine for a moment before he spoke again. "You and Beck..." he trailed off.
"It's a long story," was all I offered. "And, I really appreciate you being honest with me, I just have so much that I'm still figuring out right now," I took a deep breath. "Can I think about it?"
Theo nodded, his finger lightly stroking my cheek. "Of course."
"Thanks." I smiled. I looked at him for a moment longer before he leaned down, pressing his lips against mine.
"I hate to interrupt," Beck's voice sounded just as Theo's hand found its way to my waist. He pulled away, turning around, his hand remaining on my waist as he stared at Beck.
I let out a long sigh. "What do you want?"
He shrugged, crossing his arms nonchalantly, his eyes trained on Theo's hand. "Just wanted to go over our fall break plans."
"Our plans?" Theo repeated, his eyes darting between the two of us.
"Yup, flying across the country together, meeting my family, you know..." Beck grinned, his eyes filled with mischief.
I rolled my eyes. "My brother is friends with him," I explained, turning to face Theo. "Griff really wanted me to come because we haven't spent time together in a long time."
Theo's brow furrowed in confusion as he looked between the two of us. Beck sighed loudly, reaching into his pocket. He took a few moments pulling out his wallet, flipping through it.
"So," he began, holding his hand out. "Here is your plane ticket."
I stared at him in disbelief. My mouth dropped open, I couldn't believe what was happening. "Seriously?"
Beck nodded. "Yes, seriously." He handed me the ticket. "My mom bought you a ticket before you even knew you were coming."
My eyes flicked between the plane ticket and Beck. "Why does your mom know who I am?" I questioned.
"Irrelevant."
A heavy silence filled the air as I glared at Beck, only to be snapped back to reality when Theo offered a reassuring squeeze to my waist. "I should get going," he spoke quietly, as if he only intended for me to hear it. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to my cheek before whispering into my ear. "I look forward to hearing your answer." He offered Beck a friendly nod before making his way through the parking lot.
"What answer?" Beck asked, leaning against my car.
"None of your business." I crossed my arms, but Beck just stared at me. "He asked me out," I replied before taking the ticket from him.
He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Good to know you're moving on."
I scoffed, glancing at him. "You don't get to talk about that." I looked back towards Theo's retreating figure.
Beck shrugged, not seeming too bothered by my comment. "I just think you're better off without him. Happier."
I stared up at him, my throat tightening as I fought back my reply. I was happy without him because I had you. My mind was screaming.
"If that's what you want," Beck continued, staring straight ahead. I could feel his body tensing as he spoke. "Don't worry about me."
I turned to face him, my eyes searching his. They were pleading, but there was no anger or resentment behind them. All I felt was sadness. I tore my eyes from him, studying the ticket in my hand. "This is for tomorrow morning,"
"What?" I asked, my heart leaping into my throat.
In the blink of an eye, his sadness was gone from his eyes, a hollow sense of amusement filling them instead. "Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."
Beck smirked at me. "I'll pick you up at seven,"
✣✣✣
Bryn sat on the edge of my bed, watching as I ran around my room, tossing clothing carelessly into a suitcase.
"So, let me get this straight," she said through a mouthful of donut. "You, Beck, and Griff, all together, in a confined space, for a week." She leaned back on her elbows. "That's priceless."
"Shut up, it is not." I groaned, shoving the last of my clothes into my suitcase. "I don't know what I'm going to do."
"You could have said no," she offered simply, taking another bite of her donut. "I don't think he would have been all that surprised."
"If I said no," I began, taking the donut from her and popping it into my mouth. "Then I would have to explain why."
She snorted. "Listen, I love Beck most of the time, he's... alright. But, he doesn't necessarily deserve your kindness right now."
I shrugged, chewing slowly as I considered her words. "Maybe I feel like I hate him right now, maybe what I thought we had is gone, but I still care about him. I don't want to even think about what Griff would do if he found out."
"Hmm," Bryn murmured around another bite of her donut. "Well, I expect you to tell me every dirty little detail."
I rolled my eyes. "There won't be any dirty little details." I replied, crossing my arms. "Beck and I aren't even friends."
She laughed. "Yeah, and I'm sure that spending a week alone with him and his family you'll still hate him," she said sarcastically.
"Doubtful," I muttered.
"Oh, I can guarantee you that at least once on this trip you will get in each other's pants." Bryn teased.
"We are not talking about this," I warned, but couldn't help the small smile tugging on the corners of my lips.
"Fine, fine," she waved a hand at me.
"I am not going to sleep with him," I argued, abruptly standing from the bed and resuming my packing. I needed something, anything to occupy my mind.
"I've heard that one before," she muttered.
"Yeah, well, when I said that last time I was already sleeping with him, so it doesn't count,"
She laughed again. "Touche."
Bryn and I spent the rest of the day sitting on the couch eating donuts. For the three years I had known her, it was our fall break tradition. Usually, it took place in whatever tropical location her parents took us that year, but this year, our living room would have to do.
"You should bring lingerie," Bryn suggested, splitting a donut in two and passing me half of it. "Just in case."
I shook my head as I chewed. "No." I turned to her, licking the sugary icing off my lips. "I'm going to only bring granny panties."
She stared at me. "What?" She tossed her head back as she laughed. "Why?"
"I'm not having sex in granny panties, so if that's all I bring... no sex."
"I don't think Beck cares about your panties," she countered. "Besides, I have this super cute lilac set, I've never even worn it before but it's yours if you want it." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
I shoved the rest of my donut in my mouth and swallowed quickly. My face flushed, and I glanced away. "Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass," I said a little too quickly.
She laughed. "Whatever you say,"
✣✣✣
I woke up the next morning to my phone buzzing out of control. I groaned, rubbing my eyes before checking my messages. I had eight missed calls from Beck.
It was seven thirty. Fuck.
Nervously, I grabbed my phone, dialling his number. He picked up on the first ring. "Em," his voice was low, he sounded upset but I knew he was smiling on the other end of the phone. "I've been standing on your front step for half an hour now, please come let me in."
I stifled a laugh, scrambling out of bed and jogging to the door. I flung it open, revealing a very cold Beck. His nose and ears were pink. "I brought you a caramel latte, I know you like them." He extended the coffee toward me. "It might be a little cold now."
I took the coffee from him, stepping aside so he could walk into the house. "I'm so sorry," I said softly, following him to the couch and passing him a blanket. "You must be freezing."
He nodded, a small smile on his lips as he accepted the blanket. "It's a little cold." His teeth chattering filled the room as we sat in silence.
"I'll go get ready," I said suddenly, standing from my spot and rushing into my room before he could respond.
I made quick time getting ready, not bothering to make myself look overly presentable. I ran a brush through my hair and threw on sweatpants and a sweater before lugging my suitcase down the stairs.
Beck watched me carefully as I dragged my suitcase to the front door, a small smile gracing his lips. "I'd offer to help, but I've heard you've got a great trainer," he teased, resting his arm along the back of the couch.
I rolled my eyes as I stopped at the door. "Are we going now?"
"Yep," he nodded. "We're probably going to miss our flight at this rate."
I took a deep breath, steadying my nerves. We stood there awkwardly for what felt like forever before I finally cleared my throat. "Well, let's get going," I mumbled. With a shaky hand, I reached for the handle and pulled it open slowly, peering out into the dark morning. The street was empty and the only light came from the pale moonlight bouncing off the freshly fallen snow.
We walked to his car in silence, the only sound echoing through the empty streets was the sound of my suitcase as it rolled behind me. "Griff's already at the airport," Beck said suddenly, turning his head to look at me. "He'll take the flight whether we miss it or not, my mom and him are practically best friends at this point."
I nodded, passing Beck my bag and climbing into the car. We drove in silence, and I internally cursed myself for agreeing to spend the hour and a half car ride to the airport with Beck.
"Thank you," he eventually said, glancing at me for a moment before returning his attention back to the road. I sent him a curious look before he continued. "For not telling Griff about us."
I shrugged. "Seems like there was no us to tell him about,"
"That's not true and you know it." My stomach flipped over, a heavy feeling settling in my chest.
I didn't say anything to that as I leaned my head against the window. "Regardless of how I feel about you now, I really cared about you at one point." I swallowed thickly. "I wouldn't ruin your relationship with him over a mistake."
He was quiet for a moment, his fingers drumming anxiously on the steering wheel as he considered my words. "And what if I don't think it was a mistake?"
"Don't," I warned, keeping my gaze fixed on the road. I didn't want to hear what else he had to say, I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in his eyes. "Let's just get through the week, okay?"
He waited a long minute to respond, his eyes flitting over to me every few seconds. "Okay."
The remainder of the drive was in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I kept my mind blank, refusing to acknowledge any of my own feelings.
When we pulled up outside the airport, Beck made quick work of grabbing my bag, following by securing a firm grip on my wrist as he tugged me through the busy airport.
We reached the gate, only to- unsurprisingly- be met with a missed flight. I let out a long sigh, dropping down onto the bench. Beck sat next to me, resting his head in his hands. "Shit," he breathed, sitting in silence for a few minutes before he stood from his spot. "I'll go see what flights they have available."
I watched as he spoke with the ticket agent, undoubtedly trying to work his charm as he flashed his bright smile at the young woman. He talked with her for what felt like forever, my eyes glued to the two of them as she threw her head back laughing, her hand coming to rest on his arm as they spoke.
Eventually, he walked back over, two tickets in hand and a bright smile on his face. "Was that really necessary?" I grumbled, snatching my ticket from his hand as I stood up.
He raised his hands defensively, maintaining an innocent smile. "Whatever are you talking about?" He taunted.
"Congrats, you have proved yet again that you can get any woman you want."
He raised a brow. "Emily," his hand came to rest over his heart as he feigned surprise. "Are you... jealous?"
I glared at him, crossing my arms. "Not jealous," I paused for a moment, thinking about my response. "More like ashamed for being another one of your conquests."
His mouth fell open slightly, but his expression remained amused. His eyes flickered down to the floor as he ran his tongue along his teeth. He turned away from me, looking back towards the ticket agent.
"Thank you for your help," he called over. "My wife and I have you to thank for making our honeymoon possible!" He slung his arm over my shoulder, pressing a kiss to my temple.
"Get off," I gritted out, moving away from his touch. He chuckled, shaking his head as he moved to stand beside me.
We made our way through customs and bag check, walking side by side to the gate as we waited to board. It wasn't long before the snow started, coating the runway with a thick, white blanket. Followed by an announcement, stating that the flights would be delayed until the snow stopped.
Hours of waiting in an uncomfortable silence passed by, with new delays coming left and right. Beck and I waited, and waited, and waited until the sky was dark and dusted with stars, the snow shimmering under the pale moonlight.
We were some of the only people left in the airport- some of the few with a dying sense of hope, as the agents approached us.
"We are so very sorry, but we have made the executive decision to cancel all remaining flights for this evening," the male attendant said, passing us two slips of paper. "Here are some free hotel vouchers for the two of you."
I stared down at the paper in my hand, reading the fine print. A cheap motel that looked like it could fall apart at any minute.
Beck took the voucher, his jaw clenching tightly as he tucked the paper into his pocket. He exhaled heavily, turning to me. "I'm sorry. I know it sucks."
I shrugged my shoulders, staring down at my feet. "You aren't the reason we missed our flight," I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself.
"Well, let's go get a room. At least there'll be hot water," Beck suggested, placing his hand on my back as he guided me through the nearly empty airport.