CHAPTER 12
Snape's POV
Every minute of waiting for Ester to resurface was pure agony and torture as I stood by anxiously in the stands. Every moment, millions of thoughts swam around in my head about all the possible ways she could get hurt or killed. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about. I wanted to so bad because it was killing me, but I couldn't. Not in the slightest. I just had this really bad feeling, like something was going to go very wrong. I kept trying to reassure myself that she would find a way to signal for help and that Ester would be alright. She was smart and she was brave. She could get herself out of any mess if she put her mind to it. But that didn't help either. And the sinking feeling grew deeper in the pit of my stomach.
My eyes flickered over to the dark, choppy waves for the hundredth time that afternoon, trying to keep emotional mask up very hard. Then at my watch. She had barely a few minutes left before the potion wore off and needed air again. I hoped she was making her way back. She should have resurfaced by now with her hostages, Fred and George.
My heart suddenly leapt up into my throat then, as a figure broke the surface. But then it sank again only to be replaced with sheer hatred and dislike. It was only Victor Krum with Granger. The crowd burst into applause; all but me. I glared murderously down at him as he clambered his way onto the docks. Our eyes locked, if only for a moment. A cocky smirk played on his lips. I wondered if he knew where she was.
Then a few minutes later came Cedric Diggory with his freed hostage, Cho Chang. Again, the stands cheered obnoxiously. I rolled my eyes in annoyance as the women swooned over the two champions. Idiots, all of them.
Thirdly, came Potter with Ron Weasley and Fluer's younger sister. My heart sank as Fluer ran to the edge to thank them and help them up. Ester dove in with Harry. I thought they had swam down together. But where was she then? I quickly got up and pushed my way past the cheering crowds, glancing up at the clock as I did so. The hour was almost up and she had surely run out of time with her potion by now. I made my way up to stand next to Dumbledoor.
"Where is she? She should have resurfaced by now." I muttered, not even glancing his way.
He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. "Miss Kingsley will be fine, Severus. There is no need to worry."
"Yes, there is." I snarled viciously. "Something could have gone wrong. She might be in some kind of danger."
He chuckled. "She will be in peril just like any of the other contestants in the tournament. Now calm down. She will be here soon."
I sighed in annoyance. "You don't know that. And have you figured out who sabotaged the goblet yet by the way?"
He shook his head, a cheery smile still plastered to his wrinkled features. "No. But we will find out soon enough."
"I don't trust that Professor Moody man. I don't believe he is who he claims he is. We should question him about it..." I stated, staring out at the waves anxiously. She still hasn't come up yet. It would only be a matter of time before she needed air again.
Albus's eyes twinkled. "Not yet."
I groaned in frustration, my eyes still locked on the foamy waves of the black lake. I hated how vague the old man could be. And how cheerful he always was about everything. It disgusted me to no extent sometimes.
We then waited in silence for what seemed like hours. Even if I knew it was only a few moments. I was really getting scared, my mask feeling very very heavy all of the sudden. Like lead. I wanted it to go away. I couldn't let my emotions slip at the risk of my reputation crumbling away into mere nothingness.
Suddenly, a pasty, grey looking mermaid burst through the choppy waves with the two Weasley twins clinging to her arms and gasping for air. On George's shoulder, an unconscious Ester was slumped over, her face as white as a sheet. The mermaid threw them onto the docks roughly and dove back into the lake. I vaguely remembered her as Andromeda from the beginning of the year. I think. Those monsters all looked the exact same to me.
I quickly shoved past the large group of students crowding around the three, desperate to see if Ester was going to be alright. I found her coughing up water from her lungs on the ground. I let out a quiet sigh of relief, kneeling down to help her up. She silently thanked me as she stumbled to her feet.
"Are you alright?" I muttered to her under my breath.
She nodded, giving me a half hearted smile. "I'm fine, I think."
"Meet me tonight in the potions classroom like usual. I want to talk more." I said into her ear. Then I stepped back and was consumed by the large crowd of cheering students. Some gave me curious glances as I passed by.
Then I met eyes with Mad Eye Moody who was still sitting in the stands. His glass eye which had previously been darting around, locked in on me. I glared back as he took a long swig from his flask. He was up to something. I knew it. I walked back towards the castle in disgust, his eyes boring into my back.
"You should be more careful about where you meet your little girlfriend, 'Sev'." He sniggered as I walked past.
I went rigid with shock, but kept my voice level. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about, Moody?"
He sniggered again. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. So watch your back. Or better yet, Kingsley's."
Pretending to roll my eyes in annoyance, I stormed back up the path to Hogwarts. "You really are Mad, Moody."
"Alright, but I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your girl ends up dead." He shouted after me.
And a sinking feeling pooled up in the pit of my stomach, because I knew exactly what he was talking about. I bit my lip nervously, a bad habit I had formed over the past few days.
I was really scared for the first time in years. I was terrified of what would happen to Ester if this thing kept up between us. She could get hurt. Or even worse, killed.
I have already lost the first love of my life, I thought to myself, and I will not lose this one. That I was sure of. And I would use everything in my power to keep her safe from harm. There was a storm brewing on the horizon. It was also coming very fast; headed straight for Ester and me. I could feel it.
*****
"Wow. that fucking sucks, man. I'm sorry." Ester said glumly, her head rested on my shoulder. I could feel her cool, steady breath fanning across my neck, sending shivers up my spine.
I nodded, keeping my eyes glued to the pile of comic books laid out on the table in front of us. I had just finished explaining about my past relationship with Lily and how she died, because I knew if me and Ester were to be together like this, she had to know. Well, except for the part about me being a death eater. I wouldn't tell her that. Not yet anyways. I couldn't risk losing her because of that secret. It was the night after the second challenge.
"It's fine..." I said, biting down hard on the inside of my cheek. I could taste blood in my mouth.
She reached for an Avengers comic book on the desk, weighing it in her hands, but didn't open it. "I'm sorry. You know, for prying so hard that one time. I understand why you wouldn't want to tell somebody that kind of thing."
"It's fine..." I repeated, feeling numb all of the sudden. It felt good to get the story out in the open and an enormous weight was immediately lifted off my chest, but it was still painful if anything else.
"Are you alright, Sev?" She asked, concern lacing her tone. She put a hand up to my cheek, forcing me to look at her.
I shook my head, seeing no reason to lie to Ester when I knew she would be able to see right through me. My eyes stung as I spoke, threatening to spill over. "No... It's my fault. It's all my fault she's dead, Ester. Lily died because of me."
I grabbed her hands in mine very tight, as if she was the only thing that kept me from falling apart completely. And it was probably true. She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me in return, as if she was silently promising that she wouldn't let go.
"Don't say things like that. You had absolutely nothing to do with it. And I'm sure she'd forgive you if she were still here. You're protecting her son for Christ's sake!"
I bit down on my lower lip hard until it bled. "It doesn't matter. That won't fix the fact that I called her that wretched name."
"You were angry and hurt," she whispered, her own voice quivering now. "It wasn't your fault, so don't you ever say something like that. Never again. Especially not in front of me."
I nodded. "For once in a very long time, I'm scared I will lose the person I love most and won't be able to stop it."
Ester pulled back and planted a small mingle ring kiss on the corner of my mouth. "That won't happen."
"You don't know that." I said bitterly, my voice hollow.
"I know," Ester said, plastering on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. And I knew then that she was scared too. "But it's highly unlikely that the same scenario will go down again."
I sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of my nose in exasperation. "There's something else I have to tell you as well."
"What is it?" She asked curiously, pulling away.
"Yesterday after the second challenge, I ran into Alabastor Moody. And he said something about seeing us together." I explained, glancing over at the shut door. I wondered if he was listening now. "So I just think we need to be more careful about when and where we meet. Because obviously, this place is no longer an option."
Ester frowned, her brow furrowing in deep thought. "And what did you say?"
I shook my head quickly. "I lied and said I didn't know what he was talking about."
She let a small, breathy laugh escape her lips. "The man is completely mad. If he's told anyone, which I highly doubt he has, they'll probably think he's a raving lunatic."
I smirked. "True. But still, we should be more cautious if we want to keep... Whatever this is, going."
"You know, you can just call it 'going out' since that's what we're doing now. And I agree. How about tomorrow night we meet at..." She trailed off, thinking hard of a good place to meet up from now on.
"My living quarters?" I suggested.
She grinned. "Alright then. I think that would be the best place."
My gaze suddenly shifted down to her smiling mouth. And for about the millionth time since she's come to Hogwarts, I wanted her lips to meet with mine. I slowly brushed a stray hair from falling in her face, sparks of electricity shooting up my hand as our skin brushed. Then, leaning in so our faces were now only inches apart, I allowed our lips to brush; our mouths moving to the silent rhythm of our breathing.
But this kiss wasn't steamy like the other one's we've shared in the past couple of days. It was only sweet. And I was fine with that. I wanted to save the other kind for something else. Something special.
"What am I going to do," I muttered cooly between breaths of air. "When you have to leave at the end of the school year?"
She smiled. "I'll come visit. And we can write."
"It won't be the same." I said, shaking my head slowly. I slinked my arms around her waist.
"I know. I'll miss you when I have to go." Ester said, caressing my cheek with the back of her hand. I leaned in again, her soft lips brushing mine gently.
We were quickly interrupted though, by the loud, irritating screech of a horned owl as it scratched at the window pane with it's talons. Clasped in it's beak was an unsealed, parchment envelope. I quickly got up and threw open the window, sighing in annoyance as I snatched the letter from it's beak. Then I paid it one sickle and it flew away into the chilly night air. I tore open the envelope.
'Malfoy Manor. Now.'
"Who's it from?" Ester asked curiously, weighing the same Avengers comic book in her hands as before. It was as if she was contemplating over whether it was good enough to flip through or not.
I scowled down at the note, my brow furrowing in disgust. "I gotta go. I have a meeting to attend."
"Oh." She said, sounding a bit disappointed. "It sounds important. Should I leave you to it then?"
I nodded, not wanting to leave just yet myself. "We'll meet up again tomorrow."
She gave me a small smile, gathered up her things and then strolled out, giving me a small wave as she went. "See you then, Sev."
*****
As I marched my way into the Malfoy Manor just a few minutes later, I was surprised to find myself the last one, besides the dark lord himself, seated. The group glared up at me from their seats at the dining table angrily as I slowly set myself in between Lucius and Fenrir Greyback. I kept my face stony as usual when I was in public, even though I had no idea what so ever about what was going on or why we were called in for a meeting so late into the night. It was very strange indeed.
Bellatrix Lestrange sniggered quietly to herself as she squirmed anxiously in her seat. I scowled. The woman was completely mental if you asked me, but tonight, she seemed to be acting particularly out of the ordinary. I rolled my eyes at her in utter disgust, causing her to cackle even harder as she clutched her gut.
"What in the bloody hell is so funny that I have to ask, Lestrange?" I snarled harshly.
She nearly slipped off her chair at my remark as she desperately struggled to stifle her laughter. "You!" She exclaimed. "Falling for a filthy mudblood like that Kingsley bitch!"
That's when I felt something inside me snap. My eyes widened with rage as I lunged at her from across the table. I grabbed her by the neck, about ready to crush her windpipe as I dragged her to meet eye level with me. She kept laughing, strands of her wild, black hair falling into her mouth as she gave me a wicked, maniacal grin.
"Say that again, and you will be lying on the floor in a bloody heap." I growled through gritted teeth.
The rest of the table quit their chatter and small talk by then, staring at the both of us with jaws dropped and eyes wide.
"Did you hear that everyone?" Bellatrix howled, her laughter echoing off the cold, marble floors. "Severus here, has fallen head over heels for a disgusting mudblood!"
The group sniggered as I kept my death stare firmly on the woman cackling away in front of me. "One more word from your mouth, Lestrange!" I bellowed, absolutely livid.
Lucius stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the hard floor as he pushed it away. "Calm down, both of you." He ordered harshly. "This is still my house and as long as you're in it, you will act like civilized human beings and refrain from killing each other."
I reluctantly let go of my firm grip on her neck, taking a slow, shaky breath. Then I slumped back down into my seat. "Fine." I growled, glaring down at Bellatrix as she took her seat, still sniggering like the madwoman she is. Lucius returned to his seat as well.
"I advise you don't lose it like that in front of our dark lord." He muttered under his breath, barely turning his head to look my way. "I'm sure he'll have much worse things to say about miss Kingsley than anyone in this room."
Suddenly, the great oak doors to the dining room swung open and Wormtail scurried his way inside. In his arms lay a grotesque looking, grey, slimy, shriveled creature known as the Voldemort in his weakened state. He looked like some sort of sickly baby with tiny slits for nostrils and glowing red eyes like a snake's. Behind them trailed his boa, Nagini. Giving the death eaters a nasty hiss, it slithered it's way under the table. I could feel it slink over my shoe and it took all my will power not to kick her away in repulsion and disgust.
Wormtail gingerly set the dark lord down on his throne-like chair at the headof the table, and with a feeble wave of Voldemort's hand, he backed off and stood quietly to the side.
"Severus," Voldemort whispered, his voice a ghost. "I hear... that you have fallen victim... to a young Miss Kingsley's spell..."
I swallowed, having no idea where this conversation was going. "My lord, I would never go behind your back--"
"...You mustn't lie, Severus. It is alright. It is, in fact... a good thing." He rasped, his breath coming out in shallow puffs.
I cocked an eyebrow at him in confusion. "If I may ask, why is it?"
Voldemort inhaled slowly before speaking, every breath a heavy struggle on his chest. "I'm sure that everyone here knows... that we have been keeping a close watch on the Ester girl for quite some time... And with you, Severus, we will be able to lure her in. She... will finally be able to join our ranks as an official servant of the dark lord."
My stomach took a nasty drop. It was inevitable that this day would come; I just didn't think it would be this soon. I thought I might have more time to sort this out. To devise a plan. To find a way to protect her without exposing myself. And I don't think I could go to Dumbledoor again. He was a great wizard and only a fool would question it, but I could never trust him again if something bad happened.
"Yes, My lord." I croaked. "I'll see what I can do."
"And if she fails to accept our gracious offer, i think you know what will happen, Severus." He whispered. "You are dismissed now."
I nodded curtly and apparated from the room, feeling sick. "Thank you, my lord." I said, before leaving.
This was a red flag, I thought to myself as I appeared back in my living quarters. This and Mad Eye Moody's warning from yesterday at the second challenge. It was a sign that I needed to work extra hard to keep Ester safe from danger. And that I would do. Even if it meant losing my life in return for sparing hers.