Tonight was finally the night! The stupid high school dance was here and I could go back to only being mildly hit on by school creeps.
But I was also excited for Hannah! She agreed to go and I was going to make it my mission that she has a good time. She deserves to have something nice to look back on in high school. And I already had some plans in my head.
At the top of my list was Clay.
I already knew from Jeff that he was gonna be there, the jock practically blackmailed him to go with some bet about passing. And I pressured Hannah. Together, Jeff and I were concocting the scheme of schemes to get these idiots together. Only time will tell if it works.
I had chosen to wear a strapless dark blue gown. It was plain on the top, but the bottom was covered in diamond and pearl patterns and a wavy fabric. I felt like a princess. All I was missing was my crown.
Not wanting to ruin my dress, I took the risk and walked out the door and instantly regretted it. "Why you playing dress up?"
I shuddered at her voice. "My school is having a winter formal before break. I thought I would participate instead of sitting at home."
That made Millicent sit up. "Got a hot date?"
I smirked. "I'm going with friends."
She scoffed. "That's for virgins and pathetic sluts who want to whore themselves around. Maybe that checks out then."
I glared at her accusation. "I don't date. That's all."
She laughed. "Right, right. Cause you still think shutting everything out will protect you when daddy comes home. It bloody won't. Not that I will get through your thick head. Life's true gifts are fucking wasted on you, child." That hurt more than I would ever admit. "Come on! Spill to your Auntie Millie! Which boys you gonna shag tonight?"
I didn't even attempt to hide my disgust. "None. This night is about me and my friend having a good time. Not getting laid."
She looked baffled at me. "What's the bloody point of high school dances if you're not grinding or rubbing one on some unsuspecting cock?"
"I'm leaving now." And did not give her a chance to reply.
Sometimes I preferred her when she was drunk and violent. At least then she doesn't try to talk to me.
I was going to drive to the Baker's house to pick up Hannah, but she was insistent on being the one to drive. Something about having a surprise. So I took my time walking down the street in a fucking princess dress. I felt regal as hell. Untouchable.
As I arrived and knocked on the door, Olivia Baker answered. "Libby! Oh, you look so beautiful, honey. Like you've come straight out of a fairy tale."
I couldn't help but blush in embarrassment. I forget how normal and kind most adults are. "Thank you, Olivia. Is Hannah ready?"
"Here I come!" I heard from inside the house. When she came out, I gasped at how lovely her dress was. She looked so precious. And when she saw me her jaw dropped. "Oh my god, Libby! You look amazing!"
I smiled. "Not nearly as amazing as you. You're gonna leave everyone at that dance speechless." She blushed. "Shall we head over?"
"Not without a picture!" Olivia shouted and we both rolled our eyes and capitulated. With our arms around each others' waist we smiled. Hannah put her head on my shoulder, as I might have been towering over her in my heels. Once the picture was taken, she looked at the two of us with tears in her eyes. "Sorry, I'm just so happy for this. Thank you so much, Libby."
That statement made me feel weird. "Thanks for what?"
But before she could answer, Hannah spoke up. "Okay, we should get going now."
That was when Andy Baker finally made his appearance and handed Hannah a set of keys. "All yours, sweetheart."
Hannah hugged both her parents and then pulled me to the new car across the street. I was baffled. "Did-did your parents buy a new car for the dance or is this just a coincidence?"
She bit her lip. "I may have asked them if they could rent me a limo."
My eyes widened. "A limo? Why?"
She shrugged. "I wanted this to be a night to remember. Give us the glamorous night we deserved."
I laughed. "You don't need to impress me, Han, I'm already your date." That made her laugh with me.
"And I'm the luckiest girl in the world." She played along.
When we arrived, we were shocked to see how much budget was put into this stupid thing. Hannah looked embarrassed. "Now I feel underdressed."
I scoffed. It was hard to talk over all the music and noise. "Nonsense. Where'd that self-confidence go?"
Her smile returned as she looked at a wall with balloons. "We should pose for a picture. Against the wall."
I grinned. "That's a great idea. I have an idea to make it even better." She looked confused but intrigued as I scanned the dance for one specific person. Sure enough, he was not too far from the entrance. I waved one hand as I shouted. "Tyler!" But as soon as the name left my lips, Hannah started pulling my arm down. My voice seemed to cut through the crowd for him as he turned to face me. When he saw me, he stood frozen for a few seconds. He looked so handsome in his little dress shirt and pants. His hair was still a mess, but I loved it that way. When he came to his senses he started walking over towards me and I thought I heard Hannah curse. I tried to console her. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head. "I get the sentiment, but I really don't want him taking my picture. I mean, our picture."
That confused me so much. She didn't just look frustrated, she was vulnerable. "Why not? Did-did something happen between you two?"
She swallowed hard and waited several moments before opening her mouth, only to close it again as Tyler came up to us. He didn't take his eyes off me. "Hey, Libby. You look beautiful tonight." But then seeing Hannah next to me made him nervous. "Hannah, you look nice too." She shrunk even further behind me. "Did you want me to take your picture?"
Hannah shook her head. "We're good, thanks."
Tyler paused. "It would be for the yearbook." He pushed. Which made Hannah move even closer to me.
I sighed. "She said no, Tyler." With a bit more force in my tone. I then separated from Hannah to move closer to him to whisper. "We've talked about boundaries, baby." And returned to Hannah's side. "Come on! There's someone we have to find!" She looked intrigued and happy to get out of there.
Tyler looked on in worry. He didn't like them being close so soon after what happened. Did Hannah tell her what he did? Would she? No, she still called him baby. If Libby knew she would hate him. He would lose her. Hopefully he's scared Hannah enough to never expose his dark secret. He couldn't let her slip away so soon after getting her. She looked so beautiful in that dress. It was perfect for her. He just wanted to take pictures so he could look at her like this forever. Maybe when it gets later in the night and everyone's drunk he'll take his chances.
Hannah was feeling conflicted. She knew Libby was close with Tyler. She noticed things many were not picking up on with them. She was happier, more carefree than Hannah had ever seen her, but it was with him. The guy who stalked her, who sent that photo that further ruined her reputation. Surely she can't sit back and let Libby continue falling in love with someone like that? Who's even to say she'll take her side if she tells her what he did? What if she sides with Tyler and decides to stop being her friend over it? Chooses Tyler over her? No. She can't lose Libby too. She's her only friend besides Clay. Her best friend. One of the only good things in her life. If that meant putting up with the guy who stalked her, then she would learn to live with that. Anything for Libby.
I had dragged Hannah out to the dance floor. There was some club mix playing on the speakers and I looked over to see Tony was the DJ. Of course the guy who drives around listening to cassettes all day would know good music. The two of us were dancing and jumping around without a care in the world. Every so often I would turn to look at Tyler. I couldn't help it. He was so mesmerized by me it was hard not to smile and blow him a kiss. What I wouldn't give to place a real one on his face.
When the song ended and changed to a slower melody, but not too slow, I looked around and found exactly who I was looking for. When I saw him, I alerted Hannah, who instantly blushed. "There he is. Wanna dance with him?" I could see Jeff doing the same to Clay, whispering in his ear to go down there.
Hannah looked down. "He looks pretty comfortable up there."
I sighed. I gotta do everything myself. "Hey, Clay!" I shouted over the music and he looked at me in shock. "Get down here! I wanna talk to you!"
He adamantly shook his head. "I'm good up here." So without warning, I took off one of my heels and chucked it at him. "Ow! Fuck! Libs!"
"Get the fuck down here and give me back my shoe." Instead he picked it up about to throw it back. "If you throw that thing at me, Jensen, you're a goner. Get. Down. Here."
He rolled his eyes, but finally walked down to the both of us. Hannah was cackling beside me. Jeff got up to follow Clay and suddenly the four of us were standing together in the middle of the dance floor. Clay physically handed me my shoe and I smiled at him gratefully, pretending I had no idea how it got up there. "You got me down here. Now what?"
I smiled innocently and pushed Hannah closer to him. "Is there anything you would like to tell us lovely ladies?"
Clay smiled when he saw Hannah up close. "The way I see it, there's only one lovely lady among you." I stuck my tongue out. "You look really nice, Hannah."
She blushed. "Thanks, Helmet. You don't look half bad yourself."
He stood there awkwardly. "Thanks." They stood in silence for a minute until I hit him in the chest with a look. "Um-this your first school dance?" I facepalmed.
Hannah smiled just as awkwardly. "My first one here."
"Cool." I was going to strangle him.
Jeff looked at the two of them and an idea popped into his head. "Well, I'm thirsty! Libby, could you help me bring over some drinks?" I looked at him concerned. I did not wanna leave Hannah alone like this. But he was giving me signals with his eyes and I sighed.
"Sure." I turned to Hannah. "Be right back. Stay with Clay." I wanted her to have that big romantic dance with her Prince Charming, but I was scared of someone ruining it cause I wasn't there. Some dickhead spoiling her fun for no other reason than to be cruel. Thankfully, Jeff didn't pull us too far away. "What's your angle here?"
He smiled. "Clay has a bit of an issue with confidence. I don't think us standing over them was helping his chances. Especially with one of us being his teasing sister."
I rolled my eyes, but of course! Jeff has to always be right! We watched as Clay and Hannah could not stop laughing and smiling as they talked and talked. "No fucking way."
"See? I told you!" He laughed. "Clay has problems talking to girls in front of other people. Especially girls he really likes such as Hannah."
I smiled as I watched the two go. "I've never seen him like a girl this much before. Especially a girl who feels the same. I didn't think it was possible in high school, but they're perfect for each other." I felt safer now knowing they were having fun.
Jeff suddenly looked nervous. "So since we did a job well done. Wanna dance?"
His question caught me off guard. "Dance?"
"We are on the dance floor." He pointed out. "Come on! While your date is having some fun of her own!"
I think for a moment. I am at a high school dance. I should try to enjoy myself. "Sure, why not?" It wasn't like a slow song was playing or anything.
Jeff grabbed my hand and twirled me around to the beat as I let out a surprised laugh at the motion. We spun around for a bit and he even faked dipped me. It was fun. I was having fun.
The song ended and I decided I wanted to talk to more people than just Jeff, so I excused myself and went to talk to Tony. Before I left, I made sure Hannah and Clay were still good. They were dancing and jumping around like a couple of idiots. It was adorable.
When I approached the table, Tony grinned at me. "Hey, Libby. You enjoying the dance so far?"
I nodded. "Surprisingly, it hasn't been as bad as I thought."
He smiled. "That's the spirit! Libby Clarke enjoying life!"
I rolled my eyes. "Shut up!" He laughed and I had an idea. "When's the next slow song?"
He thought for a moment. "I like to keep them in rotation. A few more songs."
I looked over at Clay and Hannah and turned back. "Could you play one after this song?"
He looked at me puzzled. "Why?" I pointed behind me and his eyes widen. "Oh, I see. Perhaps we can skip ahead." I knew he would be on board with this. He's known Clay as long as I have. Always been like his protective big brother. And he was already growing attached to Hannah like I was.
I smiled victoriously. "What song is it?"
He went to check. "Uh-The Night We Met by Lord Huron." I knew that song. I was depressed, of course I did.
I nodded. "That works."
I wanted to continue my talk with Tony, but was interrupted by Ryan Shaver the junior who wanted to speak with him instead. I could feel the third wheel energy I was about to give off so I left. I knew I needed to stay nearby though.
"Libby, right?" I turned to see yet another junior making small talk with me. Marcus Cole.
"Point for you." I joked, trying to be nice.
He smirked. "So you all by yourself tonight?" I was getting a nervous feeling.
I waved it off. "That's the way I like it."
"How about a dance and we'll see how much you like it then?" I could see from behind him Bryce and his jock friends were looking right at us.
I shook my head. "Think I'll pass on that. And for future reference, I'd work on those moves and try to hide your mates a bit better." And to push the point further, I laid my hands on his shoulder and pulled his ear to my lips. "I don't appreciate being a spectacle, Cole." I pulled away and turned around. This was what I was afraid would happen.
Finally, the slow song came on, and I watched with belated breath as Clay wrapped his arms around Hannah's waist as they started lightly swaying. Now all he has to do is kiss the girl.
Tyler was watching Libby from across the gym. She was so perfect. This was it, his moment. It was later in the night, everyone was too drunk or too absorbed in their own shit to pay attention to others. He could tell she wanted to be near someone, to keep assholes like Bryce and Marcus away. He could do that. So with confidence at an all time high, he started walking over.
I was just watching Clay and Hannah dancing. She looked so happy, like she was in a fairy tale and her prince had finally come to sweep her off her feet. It was romantic. Not everyone gets that storybook moment.
"Hey, beautiful." I jumped back at the sound, but when I turned I relaxed immediately. "I didn't mean to scare you."
I smiled. "Didn't expect to see you again. How's your night going?"
He shrugged. "Painfully average. You?"
I nodded. "Same. At least the jocks will leave me alone. Now that I have my big, strong bodyguard to protect me." His cheeks went red at my words.
"Um-uh-there's a slow song playing right now." He stammered.
I laughed. "There is."
"Will-can-may I have this dance?" He outstretched his hand and my eyes widened.
"Baby..." I warned in a whispered tone.
He leaned in. "Look around. Everyone's too worried about themselves, and the ones that aren't are too plastered to remember one dance. Plus you've already been led around by Jeff Atkins anyways, so who cares what they see?" He tried again. I had a feeling he would be jealous about Jeff. "Unless you don't want to."
I gulped. Of course I wanted to. I wanted to do a lot more than dance with him tonight. I looked around for myself and he was right. Couples were flooded onto the dance floor and those who weren't like Jessica and the jocks were drunk off their asses. I turned back to him with a smile. "Of course. I would love to, Tyler Down."
I slowly wrapped my arms around his shoulders, being reminded how tall he was standing at 5'11. I was normally pretty short at 5'3, but my demonias were giving me a bit of an edge tonight. He still towered over me. He wrapped his arms carefully around my waist and I felt goosebumps where his fingers trailed. I looked into his eyes and was instantly transported to another world. He looked at me like I was the most important thing on the planet, and my eyes softened as they do with him. I can't help it, he's too perfect. And without thinking, I leaned forward and he did the same. Our foreheads met and we stayed like that as the song played. I never wanted it to stop.
When the song ended, we pulled away lightly and I stared into his lips. Just one. That won't hurt. It won't kill me. Just one peck won't be seen. But at the last moment, fear overpowered my heart and I turned away and got out of his hold. He looked down embarrassed. "Right. Have a good night, Libby."
"Tyler-" I tried to say but he was gone when I turned around. Huffing in frustration with myself, I turned back to see if Clay and Hannah were still having their moment.
What I found sobered me right back up.
Monty. Fucking Montgomery de la Cruz was talking to Hannah as Clay watched in the background. I didn't wait a second before marching over there but I must have been late to what he said cause she was storming out of the gym by the time I made it to them.
I instead turned to Monty. "What did you say to her?"
He shrugged. "Nothing that wasn't true. Not my fault your date is a skank. Are you fucking her too?" I bristled in rage at his comment before turning to Clay. He looked lost and confused. I rolled my eyes and went after her myself.
I found her sitting on the hood of the car with tears in her eyes. I approached her slowly. "I'm so sorry about Montgomery. He's a fucking asshole. But you knew that already. Whatever he said to you was probably some shitty locker room talk with his boys. Don't take it personally-"
She cut me off. "You don't understand!"
I joined her on the hood. "Then help me to. Because I want to understand."
She sighed. "It feels like the universe is trying to tell me to stop trying. It's like every move I make only sends me further into rumors and lies."
I took her hand. "You can't listen. I know it can seem bleak, but you gotta keep fighting."
"Why?" She turned to face me.
I blinked. "Because sooner or later things will get better. Be amazing. Isn't it worth it to hold on and see how things go?" I thought for a moment. "How was your time with Clay?"
Her tears stopped for a moment as a genuine smile appeared on her face. "Magical."
I nodded as I got off the car and outstretched my hand. "Hold onto that and I promise things will get better from here on." She looked unsure. "I'm sorry, Hannah. I wanted this night to be good for you and I failed."
"Night's not over yet." She pointed out.
I nodded. Aye, it isn't." She laughed. "Let's go to my place and hang out. We could watch a movie? Dance was lame anyway."
She smiled at my offer and finally took my hand. "Okay."
"Fair warning, how is your climbing?" We both laughed at the stupid question as we spent the rest of the night together.
Yep, I was her best friend alright. And that came with responsibilities.
But what happens when that fountain runs out?
><><><><
It seems while Tyler and Libby had spent another night together, nothing sexual this time, he just held her as she cried and reminded her how in love he was, Clay was getting threatened and his bike stolen.
Libby felt angry. She warned Justin what would happen if he threatened her brother and he did it anyway. If he can break a deal why can't she?
And that's what finally gave her the resolve to do something about Jess. If Foley wanted to play games, then game on, motherfucker!
Tyler had left early that morning with a kiss on the head, so she decided to drive Clay to school that day, and as many days until Justin gave him his fucking bike back.
He hopped into her car with a nod. "Thank you for this."
She rolls her eyes. "Don't mention it."
He sighed. "Are you still mad at me for what I did to Tyler?" She didn't respond. "It must be so exhausting defending him all the time."
"Not really. I'm just protecting a victim. Who could ever be tired of that?" She answered quickly.
He pauses. "Look, I'm not gonna budge and neither will you, so how about we keep Tyler out of any conversations for the sake of our friendship?"
She finally turns to him. "Sure, but you do anything like that to him again, I'll finish what I started and actually kick your ass, Jensen."
He laughed nervously. "Speaking of ass kicking, what are we going to do about Justin?"
I sigh. "I don't know what I can do at this point, Clay. I've already beat him up, threatened him, didn't stop him from going after you. The only thing I can do now is keep Jess safe."
He looked confused. "Why does Jess need to be safe?"
She smirked at him. "Listen to the tapes." I look down at the player in his bag. "So I'm guessing today is Marcus' tape?"
He nodded. "Point for you. Do you remember Valentine's Day last year?"
She thought for a moment. "I remember my Valentine's Day. Hannah didn't tell me much of what hers was like. I do remember how upset she was the next day. I'm the one who talked her into the stupid dollar valentine."
That made him laugh. "But you hate romance."
She rolls her eyes. "I thought it would be good for her to do something fun. And I've heard from everyone that it was fun."
He was still laughing. "You did it too, right?"
She glared. "It was the only way she would."
"And what happened?" She paused her playfulness and Clay stopped as well.
"Now you're poking into my business, Clay. Just focus on Hannah until the tapes are done. Then I will answer any question you have for me." That was the last thing spoken by either of them until they got to the school parking lot.
They both noticed a huge crowd forming and so quickly parked the car and ran over.
By the time they ran over there they could see what was happening. Alex was screaming at Monty over she thinks almost getting hit by his car. Monty is a reckless driver, which shouldn't be surprising considering his recklessness everywhere else. But what was surprising was the way Alex was speaking to a man everyone knew had severe anger issues. It's like one of his defining characteristics at this school. Sports and violence. It's also why she and many other women have chosen to leave his ass so quickly. Point is, he pisses people off all the time but the usual response is to ignore him and move on because anything else is a death wish. Which is why Libby was fighting so hard to grab Alex before he does something stupid. More stupid.
Unfortunately, Clay wasn't having that and used all his strength to keep her in place. Clay knew how crazy Monty was and how much she was terrified as a result. Especially after all the rumors from last year.
Monty wasn't pissed as much as he was annoyed, but it didn't take long for him to accept Alex's challenge and the two started fighting. For a couple minutes before Monty won and continued to beat his ass anyway. Just as she predicted. What the fuck was Alex thinking? Did he want to be beaten up? Wait....
Fuck! Does she need to keep an eye on Alex too?
This continued for several minutes of everyone just staring as Monty wailed on Alex. Libby was fighting against Clay to stop the fight, but he wouldn't budge. Finally, Mr. Porter came out to stop the fight and Monty looked all innocent about the situation as if he wasn't punching the boy repeatedly. Just another morning at Liberty High!
The school decided to make this into a way bigger deal than it needed to be. Just suspend Montgomery! Instead, they made a number of students on the honor board sit in a room with the two of them deciding the correct punishment for both boys. Some faculty were there too. It wasn't much the getting pulled out of class for a meaningless fake court, it was more who was called. The last thing Libby wanted was to be stuck in a room with Courtney and Marcus after her last confrontation with both of them. She just stayed next to Clay the entire session.
Monty was adamant that he did nothing wrong, shockingly, because Alex was egging him on. Wanting to start a fight. Libby understood his point, but at the same time he should've controlled his fucking temper.
Alex looked pretty beaten up but he was still here so there's that.
The entire kid trial was pointless. Both of them were just passing judgement without hearing any stories. Monty was blaming Alex and Alex was blaming himself, and Courtney and Marcus were relating this situation to the tapes which was also laughable. When Libby was asked to give her remarks, she echoed Clay's statement. "You're all so quick to point one finger, but Alex shouldn't have been initiating a fight and Montgomery should learn how to drive in a parking lot and maybe take some anger management while we're at it." The trial ended with Monty getting suspended for three days, three days of freedom, and Alex with a warning. It was probably cause from his face he'd suffered enough.
Libby decided to avoid everyone on the tapes today which unfortunately included her beloved but she needed to give him time to think. It's not every day one learns their girlfriend murdered someone to protect them.
It was a lot, and Tyler needed to process it all on his own without feeling the need to comfort her.
Instead, Libby did the unthinkable and actually paid attention to a school day. She offered to drive Clay back to his house, but he texted back that he was going to Monet's with Sheri Holland. Jensen blew her off for a cheerleader. She knows she's a cheerleader, but not the preppy kind. He doesn't even know she's on the tapes yet. She's never around the main group that arranges every meeting so there was no way of knowing.
Libby knows she should hate Sheri for what she did, but truthfully she also knew that it was an accident. At least she didn't mean to kill someone. Besides, Clay deserves to have somebody after losing so much.
It feels like everything has changed so drastically in such little time that it's been hard for her to process that things are different now. Never in a million years would Libby be seen talking to a bunch of seniors, but they were all guilty of something.
That's what Libby wanted to do! Talk to Ryan. She has heard literally nothing from him yet. Where does he stand? What he did was not bad enough for any trouble to come his way. And he seems like a decent guy. No way would he be caught dead protecting Bryce. But then again, that's what she said about Courtney.
She needs to start balancing shit, because the way Justin and Zach have been calling the shots has been making everybody miserable. Including themselves!
Case in point, she overheard Bryce talking to Justin and Zach. "Know it would be small, but I still think a party would be sick as fuck!"
Zach was unsure. "I don't know, man."
But Justin just shrugged. "Sure. Why the hell not?"
Bryce slapped Justin on the shoulders. "That's right, brother! Oh, and invite Jess this time. Haven't seen her in a while and she looks like she could use the fun." Libby's eyes widened immediately. This was it. The moment she trained for.
Not wasting another second, she raced to Jess' locker. She saw her and smiled. "Hey, Libs! Forget something at practice?"
She took a deep breath. "Actually, I was wondering if you would want to have a sleepover at my place? We've never done it before and ever since.....I miss having girls nights." She felt awkward using the terminology, but she wanted to sound as convincing as possible.
Jess looked excited by the idea. "Fuck yeah! It's been a while since I've had one of my own. About time we hung out more."
She nodded. "Hopefully Justin doesn't get too mad."
"Fuck Justin!" She shouted fairly loud. It seems that comment only spurred her decision on more.
She smiled. "Great! Oh, and when you arrive, walk to the side with the giant vine wall. That's how you enter and leave my room."
She nodded. "Because of your psycho family." She looked confused at how she knew. "Justin filled me in a bit. Didn't go into specifics though." Fucking Justin!
Looks like her plans of staying out of shit for the day no longer apply.
How did a formerly friendless orphan manage to become a guardian to so many teenagers?
><><><><
So today was Valentine's Day!
A fucking useless holiday. I know all holidays are useless but this is the only one that is exclusionary for reasons other than religion. Which means it's only bullshit.
I know the only reason I'm saying this is because I hate romance. Except for when it's Tyler which is something I'm figuring out.
It's just that people treat it like the perfect time to find love and sparks fly but it's not a time for building romance nor is it a time for couples who have been together for over ten years. It's for honeymoon couples to not have to put any effort into wooing their loves because the holiday lays out the groundwork already. It's lazy.
I know I'm discovering that in certain areas of high school life, I crave it more than despise it, but I don't think that can change here.
So naturally, Hannah loves Valentine's Day. Which is weird. I've never met a person who's single and loves this holiday. She sought me out at the beginning of the day so we could participate in the dollar valentine survey the school puts up every year. It's basically school Tinder where we all complete a survey based on our personality and interests, along with what we see in a man, and it matches us to someone else in the school with the closest similar answers. Because I'm so hopeless I need Liberty High to set me up with someone. It's pathetic, but Hannah was a believer in fate destiny bullshit so she wanted to try it. So why am I?
"Please, Libs! I don't wanna do it alone!" She pleaded.
I rolled my eyes. "Why do you need that paper to find your soulmate when you've already found him?"
She looked bashful. "Maybe this will confirm that we're meant to be."
I laughed. She was so in love with him and vice versa. "If you think this will help, I'm all for participation. But why do I need to?"
She smiled. "Come on! You're not even the slightest bit intrigued at finding a perfect match? I know you don't do romance, but you have a soulmate out there, Libby. And they're waiting for you to come and change their life."
I scoffed. Soulmates. "Soulmate implies we get no choice in love. I know we can't control who we love, but it is ultimately up to our mind and body whether or not we choose them. Soulmates just takes away that choice, and I'm not into that."
She shook her head. "You and Clay really are siblings, always spoiling the fun. But there has to be someone you can spend today with. You deserve to feel the spark." Spark! What the hell is that even supposed to mean. I could never figure this out.
I laughed. "If I feel the spark, then I will know it immediately. But I'm not interested in finding it through this place." Because I already have. Will he be mad I'm doing this? Probably not, he rarely ever gets mad at me. I looked down at the piece of paper in confusion. These questions were all so corny. The things I do for this girl.
As lunchtime came, I met with Tyler in the dark room for our scheduled make out. Yes, we schedule make outs. I found it helps with his inertia.
It was my turn to lead and so I had him pressed against the wall as I ran my hands down his chest. He was moaning at my touch, but still lasting. A good sign.
As we both came up for air. He smiled. "What are you doing tonight?"
I pulled him in for another deep kiss before answering. "Nothing planned. Why?"
His grin returned. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out? My parents will be going out and we'll have the place to ourselves."
I looked at him blankly. "It's Valentine's Day."
He laughed. "That's kind of why I'm asking. Not that I don't love us being together every other day of the year." I rolled my eyes and pulled him back, nipping his bottom lip, he responded by opening his mouth and my tongue moved around his. The fog had settled in again before he pulled back. "Is that a yes or no."
I sighed. "Baby, I don't do-"
"Dates. I know. So then what is this? What are we? I know you want this to stay a secret, but I at least want to know what 'this' is." He took my hands and kissed them. "This is my first Valentine's Day with someone, and I had something cool planned if that's something you would be interested in. Plus you wouldn't have to go home."
I smiled as I pet his hair. "I'll be there, Tyler." He nodded in excitement. "Now can we...."
He nodded vigorously. "Yes please!" And our lips crashed back together as I continued to nip and suck on his lips in between exploring his mouth with my tongue. He's getting so fucking good at this.
The day had continued and we were all finally getting our dollar valentine list of most compatible results.
4th was Charlie St. George. Although I had no physical attraction to the football player, I was a bit flattered to match with him. He's sweet and sensitive. Nothing like most of the jocks.
3rd was Alex Standall. Great! That tool! Granted I knew next to nothing about him and probably shouldn't pass judgement, but all I knew about this kid was from the hot or not list from months ago.
2nd was Scott Reed, who was a fucking freshman. An athletic freshman who would no doubt be trying out for baseball next season. All I knew was that he was sarcastic and blonde. Maybe this list isn't far off.
And the number one pick for most compatible in the school was.....Zach Dempsey. The fuck? But Zach is so awkward and inoffensive. I suppose Tyler is kind of like that too. He's also kind of sweet and generous. For someone who hangs out with Bryce and Justin I guess. This just feels like more of an insult to the guy.
I had gotten a call soon after. It was Zach. I know because his number was already saved into my phone. We used to be close last year, but that changed when he chose the boys. We're still friendly but rarely if ever hang out. I wasn't one of the cheerleaders hanging over but I was his designated cheerleader so I was with him sometimes at practice. Either way I don't talk to him much cause I don't have anything to say.
I tentatively picked it up. "Hey, Zach. What's up?"
I could practically hear his smile. "Still have my number saved, I see."
I shrugged. "Too lazy to clean my contacts."
He cleared his throat. "So-um-I don't wanna scare you, but we matched on the dollar valentine and I was wondering if maybe you would want to spend the rest of Valentine's Day together?"
I paused for a long moment. "Zach, you know how I am about dating-"
"Then why'd you do dollar valentine?" He asked.
I ran a hand over my face. "It's complicated. Listen, even if I wanted to, I have plans tonight." With the real boy of my dreams.
He sighed. "Okay, not tonight then. How about until sundown? Unless you're seeing someone else today?" Shit. What could I have said to that that didn't sound like a diversion. I didn't want Zach to think I was being rude. And I could still see Tyler like we agreed. "Meet me at my car when school lets out. Not as a date. But a chance to catch up. I miss hanging out with you, Libs."
I felt a pit in my stomach at the thought. If it wasn't a date, why do I feel guilty? "Sure. I'll see you then." And hung up. Guess I will have plans today.
Then Hannah found me again. "So how was your dollar valentine?"
I rolled my eyes and showed her my results. "I'm seeing Zach today, so that's something."
She squealed. "I knew this would pan out! And it's so perfect! Zach is so sweet and thoughtful and normal! Not a creep in any way." That statement confused me. What was she talking about anymore? "You two would be like the ultimate power couple of the school."
"Woah, woah, woah." I stopped her. "It's not really a date. More a catch up. But enough about me, how did yours turn out?"
She frowned at my statement but continued. "Good. I'm going out with Marcus Cole tonight." What?
"That guy?" I didn't hide my skepticism. "He's a dick."
She shrugged. "He seems nice."
"So did Justin." I reminded her before regretting it. "Sorry, that was too far."
She sighed in emptiness. "Well, he wasn't my first choice."
I stared at her sympathetically. "I know how you feel on that one." That made her look at me weirdly.
"I know." She started. "But I still think you should give Zach a chance. Who knows? Something might happen. I hope something happens."
I rolled my eyes. "You are a hopeless romantic." And I would later find out a hopeless romantic who wanted me to get over Tyler back when she still thought I had any chance of backing out. I didn't.
She laughed. "Well, good luck on your date."
I smiled back. "You too."
Just before the bell, I swung by Tyler's locker to give him a warning about Zach. I didn't understand why I was so nervous.
When he saw me, his typical smile grew. "Hey! This is a lovely surprise. I didn't think I'd see you until tonight."
I nodded. "We didn't agree on a time when I should show up, so I was thinking maybe after sunset?"
He looked at me inquisitively. "That's specific. Do you have something going on before?"
I sighed. "Remember how I did the stupid dollar valentine thing this morning?"
His smile instantly disappeared. "No."
Shit! "It was Hannah's idea and I went along with it so she'd do it. But I matched with Zachary Dempsey and he called me asking to hang out after school. But once it turns to sunset I'm all yours for the rest of the night."
He started pressing himself more into his locker. "So you're going on a date with Zach before you see me?"
I tried to reach out and grab his hands, but they were lightly swatted away. "It's not a date! He said he wanted to catch up."
"On Valentine's Day?" He snapped. "Yeah, no ulterior motive there."
I was baffled by his attitude. "Why are you getting upset? We never discussed timing for tonight, but I promise I will be there. This is just a friend thing."
He shook his head. "I don't understand how you can't see that he's doing this to try and get you to date him."
I blinked at him. "I can't understand how you can't see that I'd never let that happen. That this means nothing to me. You do."
He huffed. "How is what he's doing right now any different than what I did at the crestmont? How do I know this won't end the same way?"
I grasped his hand this time. "I don't have feelings for Zach whatsoever. I had feelings for you before our first date, Tyler. I was just in denial and being around you made that harder and harder to do." I rubbed his hand carefully. "Trust me. I will be counting the minutes until I can be with you. I'll try to get out as quick as I can." He was still unsure.
"Libby, come or don't come. Whatever you wanna do." And he slammed his locker and walked away.
This was a mistake. I shouldn't be doing this. Zach was a good friend, but Tyler was worth so much more to me. But there was no turning back now.
Zach had driven me to the pier. The winter sun was glowing in the distance as we walked alongside it.
Zach spoke up. "Do you remember when we were younger and we would take turns catching crabs and setting them loose?"
I smiled. "I found them to be the cutest creatures. You always said I was weird for that."
He laughed. "Who thinks a crab is cute?"
"I did!" I started laughing with him. "You were the weird one always crying when I stole your chair!"
"Yeah, when I was still in the chair and you dropped me!" I shrugged. "You were always so strong, even back then. What's your secret?"
I rolled my eyes. "You'll never know." He took a step closer. I cleared my throat. "Is that why you wanted to hang out? To reminisce?"
He nodded. "And to look back on a simpler time. Before I lost track of so much."
I hummed. "Simpler for you maybe. I was growing up way too fast."
He shook his head. "You never deserved any of that shit. You know that, right?"
I nodded strangely. "Of course I do. Life sucks, Zach. It's unfair. All we can do about it is live in spite or find light in other places."
He nodded while staring deep into my eyes. I was not gonna deny that Zach Dempsey is one attractive man. Sexy, tall, athletic. He was some girls dreamboat.
Just not mine.
And as he leaned forward, I was snapped out of his web in an instant. I pulled away abruptly. "Zach, don't do this."
He looked dazed. "What's wrong?"
I sighed in frustration. "I shouldn't be here right now. I-I'll talk to you later at school." And started jogging back to school. Where my car was still unfortunately parked.
It took a while, but I finally made it to Tyler's house and it was only slightly after sunset. When I reached his house, I texted that I was outside his window and he told me to go through his door. I knocked and he opened it.
He didn't speak or look at me for several seconds. "You don't have to sneak through the window. My parents are on a date at some fancy hotel."
I smiled. "It's more scandalous. I already went through your door the last time I was here."
He rolled his eyes. "Well, I had a surprise for you that I didn't wanna spoil."
I blinked at his attitude. "What's wrong?"
He tried to wave it off. "It's nothing."
I crossed my arms and stopped. "This is about the Zach thing?" He didn't look at me. "How many times do I have to tell you that I would never let him turn anything into a date?"
He sighed. "That's not the problem."
"Then what is?" I asked.
He snapped. "That of course you got Zach Dempsey! Makes perfect sense he'd be your perfect match. He's popular, smart, good-looking. The kind of guy you should be with. Instead you're here with me!"
I grabbed his face so he would finally look at me. "Yeah, I'm with you. Because I chose you. Because I wanna be with you. Not Zach, or Monty, or any other jock who thinks they can charm their way into my pants. I'm yours. And you're mine. And I'm sorry because you were right that Zach tried something, but that's when I left him immediately, because I told him it wasn't a date. I only date one person ever in my life and that person is you, Tyler. Baby, it's always gonna be you. No one else." He didn't speak for another moment before his lips dived onto mine. I didn't waste any time returning his ferocity in which he was kissing me. When it was over, we both pulled away out of breath.
He smiled down at me. "Can I show you the surprise now?" I nodded nervously as he led me to his room with a hand over my eyes. When we finally arrived he stopped and lowered his hand. I gasped at the scene in front of me.
His walls were covered in fairy light with candles decorating the windowsills. Lastly, his bed was covered in rose petals. I looked at him with a smile. "Tyler..."
Warning: it's Smut Time!
He grinned at my reaction. "Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you like what I did with the place in your honor." I didn't give him the chance to say anymore as I pulled his body to mine and started scrambling at his chest while kissing him madly. He didn't say anything in response, he only moaned as he led us to his bed. We both lowered ourselves down as I crawled on top of him, returning to my deep kisses. When I came up for air, I moved my lips down his jaw and across his neck. "L-Libby! I......fuck!" He kept moaning as I reached down to feel his member sticking out from his jeans. As my hand ran across it, his back arched. He looked at me. "Beautiful? What are-"
I shush him with a kiss as my hands danced on his zipper. "I wanna give you your surprise if you want it? Let me take care of this for you." His eyes widened and he started nodding vigorously. As if I'd change my mind immediately. With a smirk, I slowly unzipped his pants and pulled them down slightly. I looked at his boxers that did little to hide his boner. With steady fingers I flipped them over and was caught off guard by the size of his cock. It wasn't as big as most jocks, but it was definitely above average. I felt a shock run through me down to my core but I shut it out. This was about Tyler. Since he was already pretty hard, I only had to rub it a few times, letting the precum run down my hand before leaning my head down and lightly licking the tip.
"Oh!" He shouted suddenly as his head collapsed on the bed. I smiled and started licking from the head down to the balls, fondling them both in my hands as I wet his entire cock in my saliva. "Holy fuck, Libby! This is......fucking fuck!" His moans got louder and I knew it was time. And in one quick motion, I sank my mouth down on his shaft. He let out a scream of pleasure as his hips started bucking at the new pressure. I held back a gag at his sudden action before becoming accustomed to his face fucking thrusts. I started bobbing up and down as he grabbed the back of my hair and pulled on the roots. I felt myself getting wet from his rough action, but didn't stop my motion. Up and down, up and down. Spin my head a little for some variety, and boy putty in my hands. Or mouth. "T-this is amazing! You're amazing! Oh my god! I-I can't-can't-god fuck! Please don't stop doing that! I can-I can hold back! Just please don't stop." He was trying so hard not to cum, to make this last longer. He was lasting longer than I expected. I was so proud of him. At this rate our first time might be a full experience.
I could taste the precum running down my throat. It tasted good. It's been too long since I've sucked cock, I forgot how powerful it felt. To hold this over him. Being the first one to ever give him a blowjob. He's mine now. In every way. And once I take his virginity we will be one in spirit. I was so deep in thought I hadn't noticed I picked up speed. I could only tell when Tyler's breathing became so loud. "I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I can't-I really can't-" And that was all he got out before large jets of his semen poured down my throat like a warm river. I took every single drop of his cum and I swallowed it proudly. When I detached myself from his cock while wiping off the residue from my lips and looked at him I couldn't help but smile. His eyes were glassy, dilated, and partly rolled to the back of his head. When he could process sight again, he smiled up at me as I planted a kiss on his head.
Smut Time Over
We stayed in his bed as I kissed him all over his face and he did the same for my neck. But then he pulled away suddenly just to stare at me. I laughed. "What is it, baby?"
He cupped my face while looking at me so softly I felt like I couldn't breathe. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
I blushed. "Baby..."
"I am!" He exclaimed. "You're so smart and funny and pretty and kind. And you're in my bed tonight." And then he took a deep breath. "I love you, Libby."
My eyes had widened so big. I knew he cared for me, maybe I knew all along, but hearing him say those words out loud. To me of all people, made me break. I let out a sob and the damn broke from there and I started crying.
Tyler went from loving to concerned. "What happened? What did I do?"
I tried to stop, but it kept coming. "No-no one has e-ever said those words to me. N-never." I managed to choke out and Tyler's eyes widened in shock. He looked around as I continued to cry before he slowly pulled my body into his lap as he held me. He was so gentle, rubbing my back and petting my hair, as if I would break.
We stayed like that the rest of the night. With me crying myself to sleep in his bed while he held me so tight, an accomplished look on his face as he was the one to protect me. His Libby. That's who I was.
Classic fucking holiday bullshit at its finest! Not the best way to complete the milestone, but checks out for our love story I suppose.
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So apparently Clay and Sheri hooked up, or almost did. Libby doesn't care enough to fact check. How does she know this? Clay called her.
"How could you not tell me that Sheri was on the tapes?" He was upset with her for some reason.
She shrugged. "I have not told you anyone's names except my own. The only reason you know that certain people will be on the tapes is because most of them are a part of a little club. But there are fourteen reasons, Clay. Some might surprise you." Bryce, Ryan, Mr. Porter, Justin having a second tape...
He sighed. "She was flirting with me, she went on a date with me, she kissed me. All to make me skip the tapes." What is it with some of these idiots thinking they can get away with not listening? They know Tony will fuck all of them over.
"Clay, you have to listen to all the tapes." She pointed out.
"You don't have to tell me that. I'm going as fast as I can." He was annoyed at her even reminding him.
She rolled her eyes. "Well, see you tomorrow for reason number seven." Zach's tape. At the thought of Zach, her mood soured.
Clay being on Marcus' tape today had reminded her of that Valentine's Day. When she matched with Zach, and he took her out and almost kissed her. In hindsight she felt like such a bitch for accepting his invitation when Tyler had planned a special date for her. It all worked out in the end, but that doesn't make her feel any less shitty. But also angry at Zach for pushing her.
He liked her. That was clear, and as much as she turned him down, her 'I don't date' excuse never worked on him. And once he got the tapes he knew the real reason why. She was in love with someone else.
He must have felt like an idiot, or embarrassed that she chose the school photographer over a jock like him. It was nothing personal, Tyler was just her soulmate.
Perhaps that's an explanation for all the jokes about Tyler. To make her feel bad for choosing him. Instead, all it did was piss her off.
Libby left Clay alone for the night. She had a sleepover to prepare for. Jess had texted her that she was on her way. She had made sure to inform her not to park near the house. In case of Millicent.
She opened the window so Jess could find her. She had a bag with her as she carefully scaled the walls. She rolled in with a huff. "I'm not built for this shit."
She laughed. "You did better than Clay."
She snorted. "That's not saying much." And then she pulled out two bottles of vodka from her bag. "I came prepared."
Libby's eyes sparkled. "That's what I'm talking about." She hasn't gotten drunk since Jess' party, and that was not a pretty picture. Libby grabbed two cups from her nightstand and Jess poured.
About an hour in they were both tipsy as they sat on her bed clutching pillows and laughing. "This is so much better than chilling at Bryce's again! And we can be as loud as we want?"
Libby laughed. "Yeah! Sound proofed it when I was 13. Came in handy plenty of times."
She smirked. "I bet it did." She sat up. "So tell me, what's he like?"
Libby didn't understand. "What's who like? What are you talking-" Wait, did she mean-
Oh god!
Jess rolled her eyes. "What's Tyler like in bed? Come on! There's gotta be some juicy shit that freak gets up to."
She sighed. "Please don't call him a freak. I know you don't mean it the way Zach and Justin do, but it gives me nasty memories."
She pouted. "It can't be easy. Hearing everything people say, not able to stand up for him. Is that why you're always beating people up? You're protecting Tyler?"
She nods. "Yeah. I'll always protect him."
Jess smiled. "You love him so much. I hope he's as good to you." She leaned into her ear. "Hope he gives it to you well." Libby pushed her off with a giggle. "Come on! This is girl talk!"
She kept laughing. "Why are you so interested in my boyfriend's sexual appetite?"
She smirked. "I've heard the quiet ones are the craziest. What about dick size? I'll share everything about Justin too if you want?"
"I already know about Justin. Though I wasn't paying a lot of attention my first time." This confused Jess.
"You two slept together?" He didn't tell her? That didn't surprise her.
"Freshman year. We lost our virginities to each other. But there was no feelings involved." She corrected. She tried to change the subject. "Tyler.......god don't tell anyone. He's amazing. Like I taught him everything he knows so that might be a bit vain to say, but with him it's been like living on a different world. He doesn't just follow what he wants to do, he spends so much time and effort on me. He makes me feel special, satisfied, happy beyond anything I could've predicted. Fuck, Jess, he's perfect. And to answer your question his dick size is perfectly above average."
Jess smiled at her friend's dreamy expression. "Why do you hide it? I know he's like a loser and you're super popular, but I've never known you to care about your image this much. You're not shallow, so why do pretend like he's nothing but a friend at school? And why did you threaten Hannah when she found out?"
Libby sighed, sobering right up. "Because if my family finds out how much I love him he could get seriously hurt. I was irrational with Hannah and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I do whatever I can to protect those I love. Unlike some people."
Jess frowned at her words. "So you do believe what Hannah said? About my party?"
Libby took a second before nodding. "I do, but I have no proof to convince you. It's just my word against Justin, and Hannah said he was there that night, right? Why would he lie?"
She shakes her head. "I actually have been getting nightmares about it. Can you believe that? Nightmares while I'm awake. Bryce being on top of me in my bed, suffocating me, touching me. I can't move. I can't breathe. It's a fucked up dream."
Libby takes her hand. She knew this would happen. She doesn't remember everything, but those unanswered pieces are only worsening her mental state. And Justin is doing jackshit about it. Complaining about his girlfriend's 'behavior' as if he has no clue why she's acting out. Makes her sick just to think about. "You're safe here. You're safe with me. If you ever need me, I will protect you. Like I protect Tyler."
"Except you don't fuck me." She tried to joke. "I need to get more drunk." And she started pouring for both of them again. It was a school night, but Libby couldn't bring herself to care as she accepted the drink.
Anything for Jess
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Last night was a disaster. Tyler told me he loved me and I cried into his lap the rest of the night. He planned such a special night for me and I ruined it. He said everything was fine, but I needed to find a way to make it up to him. And I was already thinking of ways to do so.
I wanted to say it back. He loved me, he actually loved me. No one ever has. Not in the way he does and it makes me giddy just to think about. I want to give him the feeling he gave me in return, but I just had one problem. I didn't know how to say it back and mean it. I knew the words wouldn't be a lie. I've thought them before. When Montgomery was on top of me I felt it. That longing to go to him. To be with him and only him. He overtook my entire self. Was that love? I was embarrassed to say I didn't know.
So I made a decision that might have been even stupider than going to Montgomery.
I went to Hannah.
"Have you ever been in love before?" I had asked her randomly at lunch one day. She was caught off guard by the question her friend was asking. Why was she asking that? She thought Libby had sworn off any feeling.
"I thought you said love was not for you?" She was trying to figure out my angle.
I shook my head. "I would at least like to know from an outsiders perspective, how you know you're in love. So have you?"
She thought for a second before answering. "Yes, I think I do know a bit of what that's like."
I pushed further. "And what does that feel like?"
She smiled. "Like I'm falling, but in the best way. That all my person is now linked to the mind of another. My happiness, my sadness, my anger is anchored to him. But I don't resent him, I've never been happier because that spark is there to remind me that it is worth it. Every time. My life calls to his and I don't hesitate to be there." It seemed like everything Hannah was describing encapsulated a part of how I've been feeling for the past few months. "Are you sure this isn't about anyone. We're best friends, Libby. I promise I won't judge your taste in men no matter how weird."
I gulped. "It's just.....very private. You don't have to worry."
"I'm always gonna worry about you. That's another thing love does." She spoke so calmly.
I raised an eyebrow. "You love me?"
"You're my best friend, my only friend. Of course I love you." She sounded like it was so obvious.
I looked down. That's two people who've told me they love me. A new record! "I am 16, almost 17, and no one has ever said those words to me before. I want to say it back. To say I love another. I think I do, but how can I confidently say I feel an emotion I've never felt before?"
She grabbed my hand. "Don't let fear of the unknown stop you from doing something you truly want. You want to love this mystery person, then you will. Because you're Libby Clarke and you do whatever you want. This is no different." She was right. I wanted this, so I'll have it. No strings, no issues. And if anyone gets in my way I will run them over.
Speaking of obstacles, Zach Dempsey' I need to confront him about what happened. Or what almost happened. Because it hurt my Tyler, and I've decided I don't like when he's hurt.
I was going to take matters into my own hands for once. So far I've let Tyler be the one with the grand gestures. I did initiate our first kiss, and our make out schedules, and I sucked him off, but he's always the one doing all the romantic shit for me. I wanted to do something sweet for him. But how does one be lovey dovey?
"One more thing I want to ask you, Hannah. If I were to make a grand romantic gesture for a hypothetical person, how would I get started?" She smirked for several moments and I knew I walked into a trap.
Hannah had led me through an entire hallmark movie by the time lunch was through. I opted to try the note in the locker followed by a nice picnic which I might have stolen food from the home ec room. I thought a fun inside picnic in his dark room would be kind of cute. Maybe.
I slipped the note into his locker, asking that he goes to his room after school rather than straight home like he sometimes does. Telling him I had a surprise. Then I skipped last period to make sure everything was set up while he was in class. I was actually feeling quite proud of myself.
With all that prepared, there was one last thing I wanted to do. So I texted Zach asking for him to step outside class real quick so we could have a word.
When he saw me, he smiled. "I'm glad you texted, Libby! After yesterday, I really wanted a chance to explain everything."
But I cut him off, wanting to get straight to the point. "Zach, I don't think we can do this anymore."
His face fell. "Do what?"
I shook my head. "Don't play dumb with me, Dempsey. You asked me to walk down the pier with you on Valentine's Day during sunset and you tried to kiss me. I told you how I feel about dating. I don't like feeling pressured into something I have no interest in participating in. I don't date. I'm sorry, Zach, but you've made it clear that we can't be just friends. You want more, and I can't give you that. So I think it's best if we stick to being friendly in the halls and with the gang and nothing else. I'll see you the next time I'm over at Bryce's." When I was finished, Zach looked upset, but tried to mask it.
He sighed. "One day, you are gonna look at all the experiences you missed because you were too scared to go outside your comfort zone. Too scared to try." And he turned around to go back in the classroom.
The funny thing is now, I think I know the exact moment Zach heard my tape for the first time. Because after that day, he looked at me with such betrayal in his eyes. I didn't lie to him, but I didn't tell the truth either, and to hear it from Hannah must have felt awful. It wasn't me, it was him.
But I pushed any feeling of guilt out of my mind as I went back to Tyler's room. I was prepared to be sweet. To be cute. I was gonna give Tyler the feeling of affection he deserved so much more of.
When the bell rang, I sucked in a breath as I waited patiently for Tyler to walk through the door. I only had to wait around ten minutes as the door knob slowly turned and opened. His eyes widened when he saw me sitting on the ground with an arrangement of snacks.
He smiled confused. "What's all this?"
I looked down in slight embarrassment. "Well, lunch has already passed so I thought a full meal would be inappropriate but I still wanted to keep the sentiment of a picnic. Even thought we're also indoors in a dark room-"
He cut me off. "Libby, why did you do all of this? You didn't have to-"
"I wanted to!" I interrupted him. "After everything you did for Valentine's Day I wanted to create something special for you. Because you're special and I want to make you happy. I'm sorry this is so cliche, I've never done this stuff before."
"Neither have I." He admitted.
I smiled as I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "But you seem like you're hardwired for romance. To think of something cute that will sweep me off my feet. Make me feel like I'm in some kind of fairytale. My first thoughts when I wanna please you is a very different kind of happy. But you deserve to feel like more than that. Because you are more than that to me. So I know this sucks and is corny, but if you sit down I'll try to make it fun." He cut off my rambling with a kiss.
"It's perfect. No one has ever put in so much effort for me before. I love it. And I love you." Him saying those words brought tears to my eyes. "It's okay. You don't have to say it back. I never expected you to in the first place. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I needed you to know."
I took his hands and led him to the snacks. "Could you let me speak for a moment? And let me finish everything before any interruptions?" He nodded slowly as I lowered the both of us to the ground. "I've thought a lot about what happened the other night and I feel ashamed. I have a harsh family, and I'm not being hyperbolic when I say they never loved me. They never gave me a chance. I-I'm not my father's legitimate child. I was a mistake conceived by an affair. But I was still his blood, so he took me away from my mother and brought me into his house. But his wife hated me, my half-siblings were too old to want to be around me, and my father couldn't care less about my existence. So when his wife wanted me out, he didn't hesitate to ship me off to his sister. I've been living with her ever since. And I don't think I need to remind you how crazy she is. So when you told me you loved me, that was the first time I ever heard it out loud. But I didn't cry because of that. I was weeping because after everything I have felt about you, Tyler Down, all I wanted to do was say it back. And I wept when I couldn't. I wept because I want to love you, I may love you. But I don't know what it means. I don't know how it feels. But I can't say it and be honest if I don't fully understand what love is. So for now I will say I want to love you. I know you think it's impossible for me to feel the same for you, I know that's what you meant. But let those thoughts be in the past because I am telling you now that my ultimate wish in life is to say those words back to you one day. And I will try harder than I've done anything in my life, because you are worth it to me." By the time I was done, he had tears in his eyes.
"Then I will never stop saying I love you. Until the day you say it back and after. Until you get sick of me and leave." Is what he said in reply.
I leaned over to kiss him again. "I don't see that happening. The way I feel right now. I don't think I will ever leave you."
We enjoyed the snacks while never taking our eyes off each other. I felt more confident that he knew how important I see us. This wasn't a joke or a fling. I was falling in love with him.
And I would wait patiently to tell him that truth. Because he deserved nothing less than the entire world. My Tyler. My baby.
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AHHHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!
A part of this feels like filler even though it's an episode and a half.
More was put in the flashbacks than the episodes which I feel is because of the split in episode 5, but I can safely say now that is the only time an episode is split in between two chapters.
Also we are officially more than halfway done with act 1, weird because I didn't expect this to move by so quickly. Editing is becoming harder as my brain is moving to My Sunshine so much. Originals brainrot is back so I don't think there will be any hiatuses for a while.
This is also the sprout of Libby and Jess' friendship which ends up being one of my favorite relationships with my girl. Fun times all around there.
More plot stuff next chapter.
Also to my friends from the North, happy Boxing Day! Also hope your Christmas went well yesterday if you celebrate!
Written: 06/22/23