#OLAPlayPretend
Chapter 53
Crime
"Where are you going?" Xaiver asked in a flat tone.
"I..." Napalunok ako. It was a simple question, but I couldn't answer it. "I was—"
"Are you going to run away?" Nagtaas siya ng kilay, as if he was mocking me.
My lips parted. Hindi ko na nagawang magsalita. Bahagya akong nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. I didn't try to defend myself against his accusation. Tama naman ang sinabi niya. I was really trying to run away. He caught me doing so.
"S-Sorry," I croaked.
Xaiver's jaw clenched repeatedly before he turned away. "Let's sit."
Nilagpasan niya ako para makapunta sa lamesa. Hindi ako nakagalaw kaagad para sumunod sa kanya. I was still processing the fact that Xaiver had just entered the room. Isang araw pa lang ako nakakabalik sa Pilipinas at siya agad ang bumungad sa akin. It was the least I expected. I thought I would have to rely on luck for a chance to meet him.
However, as I recalled my reason for coming here, I got slightly confused. I was supposed to meet with the lawyer, which I did for a few minutes, pero may mga dapat pa kaming pag-usapan na hindi natuloy. She opened up about her client, who happened to be... Xaiver!
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I turned my heel to see if I wasn't just imagining things. Baka sa kagustuhan kong makita si Xaiver para ipakilala sa kanya ang anak namin ay nagha-hallucinate na ako. Ngunit nang makita ko siyang nakaupo kung nasaan kanina si Atty. De Alban, reality hit me. Totoong nandito nga siya!
Pero bakit? Totoo bang may bago silang nadiskubre sa kaso ni Papa o isang patibong lang ang lahat para magpakita ako?
But I wasn't really hiding... Kayang-kaya niyang puntahan ako sa Amerika kung gusto niya akong makausap. Hindi na kailangang pauwiin pa ako ng Pilipinas.
"Tatayo ka na lang ba riyan?" His cold baritone almost gave me chills.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and decided to stop running away. Wala naman nang dahilan para tumakas ako.
Despite everything that happened between us, I trust Xaiver. I trust the father of my daughter. I trust the man I once loved. He won't do anything that would harm me.
Dahan-dahan akong bumalik sa lamesa. Umupo ako sa harapan niya. Hindi ko maiwasang magtagal ang tingin sa suot niya, lalo na nang maalala ang anak.
Cami is very fond of the color pink. I don't know if she already knows the idea of having favorites, but she would always choose pink out of all colors. Kapag pinapapili ko siya ng damit, laging pink ang kinukuha niya. I also decorated her own room with a pink palette.
I'm sure Xaiver is not aware of her daughter's favorite, and it was all a coincidence, but that thought still amazes me. Pakiramdam ko'y muling nalapit si Xaiver kay Cami just because he chose to wear her favorite color.
"Kumusta ka?" Hindi ko alam kung saan ko hinugot ang lakas na magsalita. Kita kong bahagyang natigilan si Xaiver sa pagkuha ng pagkain bago ibinaba ang serving spoon at nag-angat ng tingin sa akin.
"What do you think?" Xaiver asked instead of simply answering my question.
"Nadaanan ko 'yung billboard mo kahapon galing airport..." Nagsumikap akong ngumiti upang ipakitang masaya ako para sa kanya. "May mga napanood at nabasa rin akong balita tungkol sa 'yo at sa DVH. You were already successful before, but you're even more successful now. Ang layo na ng narating mo."
Tinitigan lang ako ni Xaiver at hindi agad nagsalita. He didn't seem impressed with my answer. Nabura ang ngiting suot ko. I felt slightly embarrassed because of that. Parang ako lang ang may ganang makipag-usap sa kanya.
"Sorry..." I licked my lips. "Masyado akong madaming nasabi."
In my defense, he asked for my opinion, and I just replied. Napahaba nga lang, in an attempt to ease the tension between. Gusto kong subukang maging maayos kaming dalawa kahit na alam kong hindi ganoon kadali 'yon.
At least, I tried. This is for Cami.
I'm doing this for my daughter. I wanted her first meeting with her father to run smoothly. Gusto kong maging madali ang lahat para sa kanya at para mangyari 'yon, I had to talk to Xaiver first. Kailangan kong ipaintindi sa kanya na may anak kami at ipaalam ang lahat ng mga nangyari nitong nagdaang taon.
If he doesn't acknowledge her and refuses to meet our daughter, it will hurt, but that's also fine with me. Tatanggapin ko, pero magagalit ako sa kanya. I will never forgive him, and we will never come back.
"You're right. You've said too much, and I'm not really interested to hear them." Xaiver didn't bat an eye as he spit those words. "My lawyer has filled you in with the agenda for this meeting, I'm sure. We're not here to reminisce about the past. We're not here to catch up."
Kinagat ko ang labi ko. Tama naman siya. He's right, but why do I feel so offended?
I'm sorry, Cami. I don't think I can tell your father about you right now when he's acting like a jerk.
I wanted a fresh start with him, no matter how rotten our relationship ended. I didn't want to have another bad taste of him in my mouth. Gusto kong makisama hanggang sa makakaya ko, but we were not on the same page. If he would not exert the same effort, walang mangyayari sa pakikisama ko.
"Kung gano'n, pabalikin mo na si Atty. De Alban. Pag-usapan na natin ang dapat pag-usapan at huwag na tayong mag-aksaya ng oras," I said, channeling the same attitude he just showed me.
Natigilan siya sandali. His eyes dropped on my empty plate for a second before looking straight at me again. Umayos siya ng upo.
"Let's eat first. It's lunch." Pinulot ni Xaiver ang serving spoon para maglagay ulit siguro ng pagkain sa plato niya.
I looked at the food served on the table again. I guess it wasn't a coincidence. Alam ni Xaiver na ako ang makakasama sa meeting. Ayaw kong mag-assume, pero sa tingin ko ay siya ang nagpa-order no'n para sa akin. And for some reason, hindi na ako natuwang makita ang mga paboritong pagkain ko roon. Nawalan ako ng ganang kumain.
"No thanks. Nandito lang din talaga ako para sa meeting kasama si Atty. De Alban," sabi ko na lang. "May mga importanteng gagawin din ako pagkatapos."
Ibinaba niya ang serving spoon. "And what are those?"
"Bibili ng groceries at iba pang gamit sa bahay."
"Saan?"
Bahagyang napakunot ang noo ko. I thought he didn't want us talking about unnecessary things kaya bakit siya nagtatanong sa mga gagawin ko?
I sat straight and faced him with my chin up. "Puwede bang pag-usapan na natin ang tungkol kay Papa?" tanong ko. Ayaw ko na ring magpaligoy-ligoy. "Tawagin na natin si Atty. De Alban para masimulan natin."
Bumuntonghininga siya. "She's not needed in our meeting for now," he simply said as he sipped on his wine.
"Paanong hindi? She's a lawyer." Muli na naman akong nalito. "At kung tungkol talaga ito kay Papa, siya dapat ang kausap ko. Siya dapat ang magpapaliwanag, 'di ba?"
"If that's a genuine question, then no is the answer. No one knows this case better than I do." Ibinaba ni Xaiver ang wine glass sa lamesa. I caught his hand trembling slightly. "At gusto ko, ako ang mismong magsasabi sa 'yo bilang respeto."
"Huh?"
Ano ba talaga, Xaiver?
He's not making sense. Taliwas ng pinapakita niyang ugali ang sinasabi niya. A part of me thinks he still cares, but he would do or say something that would make me think otherwise.
I don't want anything confusing. I need to focus on my goal. I need to keep in mind why I came home in the first place.
"We discovered and investigated a new angle with regards to your stepfather's case..."
A heavy force settled in my chest when Xaiver became serious. It seemed to me that he wasn't ready to tell me about it yet. Sa bagal at diin ng mga salita niya, nararamdaman kong nag-aalangan siya. He could also be unusually scared. Ganoon na lamang siguro kaimportante ang sasabihin niya that he was willing to set aside his hesitations.
"Ilang taon na ang nakalipas..." I didn't want to interrupt him, but I couldn't keep it to myself. "Bakit bigla mong pinaimbestigahan ulit ang nangyari noon? The case already has a verdict. Nakulong na si Papa. You brother—and your family—got the justice you all deserve. Kaya para saan pa 'to?"
I hoped he wouldn't get offended, pero hindi ko alam talaga maintindihan kung bakit kailangan pa naming ungkatin ang nakaraan. The last time we did, things ended pretty badly between us and our family. Sunod-sunod ang paghihirap at trahedyang dumating. It was like opening a Pandora's box.
Kaya kung bakit niya naisipang balikan ang lahat at imbestigahan ang mga pangyayari, it was beyond me. Isa iyong bagay na hindi ko siguro gagawin. I would never do it. I would never initiate casting pain on any of us. Ayaw ko nang balikan ulit ang sakit.
Despite all that, hindi rin ako matatahimik hanggang sa malaman ko kung ano ang mga bagong nadiskubre nila. Good or bad, it doesn't matter. I just want peace of mind.
And besides, my mother would not hesitate at all. Uuwi siya para kay Papa. Kaya ako na ang tatayo para sa kanya.
"Remember when I told you I had you investigated when I learned about your relationship with your stepfather?" he asked, his voice low and quiet as if he were telling me a secret.
Dahan-dahan akong tumango. How can I forget? That day cut a deep wound in my heart and left a huge scar. Hinding-hindi ko 'yon makakalimutan.
"Knoa continued the investigation behind my back. It piqued his interest for some reason. He finds it suspicious that everything is perfectly orchestrated," he explained. "At noong sinubukan niya akong kausapin tungkol doon, I was honestly blinded by anger and pain."
My lips parted. Napalunok ako at bahagyang nag-iwas ng tingin. Ayaw kong pag-usapan namin 'to. Can we skip this part?
"When you ended our marriage and left for good without a word, I didn't want anything to do with you. I was too mad and proud of myself. I didn't wanna hear your name. I didn't wanna remember," he admitted. "But eventually, I realized I was the root of all these. I neglected you, my wife. I didn't do my duty as your husband. Wala akong karapatang magalit. Wala akong karapatang masaktan."
Kinagat ko ang aking labi at umiling. That's not true. Pareho kaming may pagkakamali. We both made the wrong decisions. Hindi lang isa ang may kasalanan kung bakit hindi naging matagumpay ang aming pagsasama.
I've developed a defense mechanism of always looking on the bright side instead of dwelling in pain. That's why I always instilled in my mind that things always happen for a reason.
May kanya-kanya kaming pagsubok sa buhay na kailangang harapin nang mag-isa. Maaaring hindi namin malalagpasan 'yon kung hindi kami nagkahiwalay. Things would probably take a wrong turn.
I might not have achieved my career goals like I do now. I might not develop this hard-earned independence that I experienced living in a foreign country. I might just be dependent on him all the time because I know how powerful and rich he is.
And above all, I don't even know if Cami would come into our lives the way she did. Hindi namin siya plinano. Ayaw pa naming bumuo ng pamilya. I used to not want a child. Madami pa akong pangarap at gustong gawin sa buhay bago ang lahat. But now, thinking of a life without my daughter is almost like dying. I can't live in it without her. She has to be there.
"At mas lalo lang tumatak sa isipan ko ang mga 'yon nang nalaman ko ang katotohanan," pagpapatuloy niya. "I have no right to be mad at you. I deserve the pain. I deserve to grovel. I deserve to suffer."
Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa kanya. Siya naman ngayon ang nakayuko. I squinted my eyes in curiosity and anticipation. The more he dragged his words, the more I could tell how reluctant he was.
"X-Xai—"
Xaiver breathed heavily, and then our eyes finally met once again. Sa tingin niya pa lang na 'yon ay natahimik na ako. Hindi ko na nagawang ituloy ang sasabihin.
"I'm sorry it took us a very long time to get to the bottom of this and gather enough evidence. It might be long overdue, but I'm gonna make things right for your stepfather... for my brother... and for you."
"A-ano'ng ibig mong sabihin?"
Muli siyang huminga nang malalim. He then pulled out a folder from somewhere. Hindi ko sigurado kung iniwan ba 'yon ni Atty. De Alban dahil wala naman siyang bitbit kanina noong pumasok. Inabot niya sa akin 'yon at nagdadalawang-isip ako kung tatanggapin ko ba.
"Ano 'yan?" tanong ko, nakakunot pa rin ang noo habang nakatingin sa kanya.
He leaned forward and moved the folder closer. Halos ilapag niya na 'yon sa harapan ko.
"Take it," he said.
Mukhang wala siyang balak sabihin sa akin ang nilalaman ng folder kaya tinanggap ko rin 'yon. Kahit papel lang ang laman, pakiramdam ko ay pagkabigat-bigat. I glanced at Xaiver for the last time before revealing what was inside.
Bumagsak ang kamay ko sa lamesa kasama ng folder. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko nang mabasa kung para saan 'yon. Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Xaiver. I was lost and confused and shocked. Sa sobrang hindi ako makapaniwala ay ibinalik ko ulit ang tingin sa papel.
It was a complaint affidavit with his mother as its respondent. Bukod pa sa kanyang ina, may iba pang kilalang mga pangalan sa bansa. My hands were shaking as I turned the pages continuously until I reached the end. Ang pangalan ko naman ang nakalagay bilang affiant.
What's happening? Why am I suddenly filing a case against his mother and other influential people in the country? At bakit si Xaiver pa mismo ang nagbigay nito sa akin?
I couldn't even read the contents of the affidavit right there and then. Gusto kong maipaliwanag agad ang lahat sa akin. I wasn't in the right condition to read and comprehend things at the same time. Hindi nagpa-function nang maayos ang utak ko dahil sa gumulat sa akin. I wanted to be spoonfed with the details.
"You're going to file a criminal complaint against my mother before the office of the prosecutor on the basis of a violation of PD 1829," Xaiver stated to simplify things for me. "Atty. De Alban will guide and help you. She'll explain further. I'll pay for all the fees kaya wala kang dapat alalahanin. This is the least I can do after everything."
Mula kanina, ngayon ko lang siya nakitaan ng determinasyon. He looked so intent on filing a complaint, kahit na laban iyon sa kanyang sariling ina. Naguguluhan pa rin ako, lalo na't hindi ko alam kung ano ang naging basehan niya.
"Teka lang, Xaiver... Naguguluhan ako," sabi ko upang pigilan muna siya sa pagsasalita. "Bakit ko kakasuhan ang Mama mo? And... that's your mother!"
I don't understand. Ipapahamak niya ang sarili niyang ina?
"Because my mother committed a crime, and she needs to pay for it," he answered, gritting his teeth.
His voice trembled a bit. Parang hirap na hirap pa rin siyang tanggapin 'yon kahit na mukhang matagal niya na ring alam.
"A c-crime?"
I was already on the edge of my seat. Anong krimen iyon? I surely hoped it wasn't what I had initially thought of, but I was already expecting the worst because of Xaiver's hesitation.
"My mother was behind everything," he revealed. "She fabricated evidence that would surely sentence your father to prison with the help of these people."
Sinulyapan ni Xaiver ang affidavit na nasa harapan upang ituro ang mga pangalang nakasulat doon. Talaga nga namang kung kakampi sila ng isang Dela Vega, they could surely twist any narrative and turn it into something real.
I closed my fists tight. Nagsimulang umusbong ang galit ko. Paano nila nagawa kay Papa 'to? It infuriated me to know how these distinguished and influential individuals could conspire against framing someone innocent.
Walang kalaban-laban ang Papa ko. Ni hindi nila kami binigyan ng tiyansa para gawin 'yon. They straight-up ruined our lives without any conscience. Dahil sa kanila, namatay rin si Papa. Sinira nila ang pamilya namin. Sinira nila ang buhay ko.
"I'm sorry..." Xaiver whispered.
Nagparte ang mga labi ko. My tensed muscles slowly loosened up. Xaiver stared at me with his regretful eyes.
"Your father is not a criminal, Chantal. He's not a drug addict," he said.
I was suddenly reminded of the time he accused my father. Nagbara sa lalamunan ko ang sakit. My eyes watered to hear him take all those words back.
"I was wrong... I was stupid for believing those lies, cursing at your stepfather for almost my whole life... and for hurting you," he continued. "That's why I'm going to step up and take the responsibility to make things right. I'm going to help you seek justice for your stepfather, no matter what it costs me."
I honestly didn't know exactly how to feel about it. Galit na galit ako sa kanyang ina at pati na rin sa mga taong naging kasabwat niya. I was also hell-bent on getting justice for my stepfather. But at the same time, kahit na medyo naiintindihan ko ang pinanggagalingan ni Xaiver, hindi ko alam kung bakit handa siyang isuplong ang ina sa kinauukulan.
She is still his mother.
It would surely affect their companies. Maaaring mawalan ng tiwala sa kanila ang board members at mga investors. Even consumers might boycott them. And aside from that, he would surely wage war against his family. Magkakagulo ang lahat at hindi ko maisip kung ano ang magiging kalabasan pagkatapos, pero mukhang kahit saang anggulo ay hindi magiging maganda.
"Why are you doing this, Xaiver?" I genuinely asked.
"Because I'm the reason why my mother did it."
I creased my forehead. "Ha?"
Xaiver held my gaze and confessed, "I killed my brother."