Having any connection to Theia soothed every fear Nyx had. She offered to be friends, and he'd take that chance blindly if he had to. He could've left, he could've told Zen that he had responsibilities in another court, but leaving Theia again was near crippling.
When she agreed, he had wiped away her tears and pulled her into his chest like his mother had done for him. Feeling her in his arms in this way made him breathe easier than he had in centuries. He didn't know if he loved her, but he cared enough that he'd never let her go again.
They'd sat on the edge of his bed, Theia curling against the pillows and Nyx leaning against the foot post. She asked him to tell her what he'd gotten to experience in the other courts. He hadn't smiled so genuinely in so long, the action made his cheeks hurt.
"I think my favorite visit was the Summer Court. The warm beaches are incredible, you would love them," Nyx spoke with a small chuckle. Theia's lips tilted up as she pulled a pillow onto her lap and held it against herself. She hadn't smiled nearly as much as he had, and it had been so long since he had seen her look anything more than broken, Nyx was desperate to see her smile again. He leaned forward, shifting his weight on the bed.
"You know, the Day Court is pretty neat, too. Have you ever seen a pegasus? They're these massive horses with wings. Helion claims to have the last in existence, but I met them during my visit and they're extraordinary. He wouldn't let me ride them, but I still snuck them treats so that they'd like me better."
Her lips lifted again, eyes glinting with amusement. It felt like weight was lifted from his chest. Nyx cleared his throat and brushed his hair back from his eyes.
"What else? Did you swim in the sea?" Theia asked softly. He adored the childlike wonder his stories gave her. She'd looked so much older from centuries of despair; seeing a young glow to her was refreshing. The constant frown was up tilted, the shadows around her eyes were hidden by the small wrinkles that formed when she smiled.
"I did. I'd like to take you there, if you'd let me. The water is always incredibly warm, even at night. The Summer Court is by far my favorite landscape. The buildings are made of a sandstone and marble, it looks as though the towns and palace erupted from the sands itself. It's beautiful," Nyx cooed, his face warming at the memory of the court. His visit wasn't as innocent as he made it sound, though he didn't want Theia to know his extent.
The Summer Court was one of the first he had visited. He was heartbroken and in a land no one knew him. Nyx had taken advantage of that and slept his way through villages and cities, even sneaking away with Tarquin's sister several times. He'd been drunk for most of it, but he knew what he'd done. He acted the same in each court.
Nyx's smile faltered, his eyes on Theia. He couldn't fault her for what she had done in his absence. She was better than he was- Theia stuck to the males of the village. It still made his chest ache to think of, but he didn't deserve to feel jealous. He'd hurt her and left her alone for centuries, while he was running through Prythian fucking anything that looked at him. He had plenty of nights with males, sometimes more than one. He'd been under the influence of more substances, Nyx couldn't even remember if he'd enjoyed it.
"I've always been curious about the Dawn Court. It feels so small compared to what we know. Was it a decent visit?" Theia asked. Nyx grinned as he nodded.
"It was stunning. Always warm, with the slightest of breezes. The sky is always the brightest blue with these golden and rose tinted clouds. They don't have cities, not like Velaris, but tons of these small towns and villages full of some of the hardest working people. There's no mountains or cliffs, but it has these green fields and hills." Nyx smiled to himself, remembering the beauty of such an underrated court.
"And Thesan? Is he as kind as rumors say?" Theia leaned forward, her arms closing around the pillow as her interest grew. Nyx gave her a confused smile as he nodded.
"He is. I don't think I've ever met a High Lord like him. He's in the villages, helping in shops and on farms. If you were walking through the streets, you wouldn't know Thesan is the High Lord. Well, of course besides the power you can feel from him and the way he looks. He doesn't dress much more extravagant than his people, but he holds this look to him that just shows you that he holds rank. It is almost as if he was formed by the dying sun itself."
Theia looked as though there was nothing more interesting than what Nyx was saying. Her eyes were bright, her body leaning towards him as though she'd be able to grasp his words and hold them to her skin. Nyx swallowed, his heart beating a little faster.
"You'd like to go there some day." It wasn't a question, not with how she was looking at him. Theia nodded, a tranquil look casting over her features as she got lost in her thoughts. Nyx brought his foot up, nudging her knee to bring her attention back to himself.
"I like to believe that his court is peaceful. There is no difference between the fae. Everyone seems to do their share, to work the same and love the same. I'd love to meet Thesan himself, too. He seems like such a beautiful male- not just in his looks, but his mind. I cannot fathom how one male could create such a gentle place to live. I'd love to visit," Theia sighed, her body relaxing against the headboard as her mind grew distant again.
Nyx frowned, studying her. It wasn't a surprise that she idolized a male like Thesan, though it made Nyx feel ill. He wanted to be the male she thought of like that. Perhaps not in love or attraction, but adoration and admiration. Nyx wanted to be the receiver of that look in her eyes. He wanted to be cherished and adored as a leader.
"I can bring you there. I can write a letter to Thesan and try to have us there in a few days. Wherever else you'd like to go, as well. I'll bring you anywhere."
Theia's eyes snapped to his. Nyx swallowed the nerves climbing up his spine and sat straighter.
"You'd do that?" She asked, brows pressing together. Nyx nodded.
"I would. I have no responsibilities for now, besides joining my family in the Hewn City in a few weeks. I can go anywhere."
"Well, that's not true. You have Zenova," Theia reminded him, her head tilting. Nyx had forgotten about his cousin. He sighed and dropped back against the foot post.
"Okay, I will spend the days until we leave teaching Zen how to do her own hair and cook her own food. Other than that, she should be fine on her own," he shrugged.
Theia's lips flattened, though not in disappointment. It looked as though she was trying to fight a smile. Nyx cocked a brow and narrowed his eyes.
"What?"
"You do her hair?"
Pride erupted in his chest as Nyx nodded. "Of course. Her hair is like Cassian's. It's thicker and has more curl than her mother's. Cassian always spoiled her and did her hair for her, and now that I'm watching her, it's my chore. I'll teach her, though. It isn't difficult," Nyx explained.
He watched a blush flood Theia's cheeks as she turned her eyes away, suddenly very interested in the window. Her skin was already tinged crimson by the firelight, but he could see the flush spread to her nose, ears, and neck. He wanted to prod in her mind, to see what made her act so strange, but Nyx didn't want to ruin the small crumb of trust she had for him. He didn't fully trust her either. It was difficult to rebuild within an hour after centuries of hatred.
As though she sensed his change in demeanor, Theia laid the pillow beside her and slid from the bed. Nyx watched her, his head against the foot post.
"I should probably go home. I need to go to the tavern early, Elena isn't the best at cleaning when I leave her to close down." Theia cast him a small look before walking to his bedroom door. Nyx stood as she reached for the handle, and he was behind her in seconds. His hand reached out, laying over hers. Her entire body stiffened and her fingers tightened on the handle. Nyx felt embarrassment wash over him as he released her and stepped back.
Theia's shoulders dropped slightly, though he could tell her body was still rigid and full of discomfort. It made his chest ache.
"I could walk you home. You know, to make sure you get home safe," he offered. Theia turned slightly, peering at him through the strands of her hair that fell over her face. Her wings tightened, stiff against her spine.
"The village is safe. I made sure of that," she murmured before pulling the door open and slipping into the hallway. Nyx caught the door before she could close it, watching her turn down the stairs. When he couldn't see her anymore, his body leaned against the frame, his head dropping. Theia was afraid of him. It was foolish of him to assume they could return to friendship, at a minimum, so soon after she witnessed him in a bloodthirsty tantrum. Or so soon after he had assaulted her.
The front door opened and closed, making Nyx lift his head. His eyes landed on his small cousin stepping onto the landing, her eyes glancing between the stairs and Nyx.
"Who is she? My father said she is an old friend, but I don't think that's the truth," Zenova asked, stepping into the hallway fully. Her curls were frizzed and hanging over her eyes and shoulders, some caught in her wings. Nyx wanted to tease her for it, but his eyes fell back to the empty stairs.
"She was more than a friend a long time ago. I wasn't much older than you when I first met her. I haven't seen her in a couple centuries," Nyx explained, offering a satisfactory answer without going too in depth. Zen wasn't satisfied. The child always prodded for every ounce of truth.
"Did you love her?"
His eyes snapped to hers, a frown on his lips. "I don't know."
Zenova watched him for a moment, a frown mirroring his. When he was ready to turn around and hide beneath the sheets of his bed, the female grabbed a curl that hung over her nose.
"Could you help me with this?"
What are the odds? Nyx forced a smile and nodded, waving a hand to the bathing chamber. Zen hurried in, placing herself on the wooden chair at the vanity. Nyx went through the motions, laying a towel over her chest and shoulders, wetting a cloth, wringing it over her hair and beginning to comb. They were silent as he fought the tangles in her hair. It wasn't until he began to comb a cream into her hair that he spoke.
"I'm going to be leaving to visit courts soon. I know I've only been here for a couple weeks, but it's important. How about tomorrow after training, you can cook dinner with me and I'll show you how I do your hair," he suggested. Zen was silent for a long moment. Long enough that his eyes lifted to her through the mirror. She was frowning at him. Nyx dropped his eyes to her hair again and he began braiding it back into two pieces.
"I guess that's fine," Zen sighed, leaning back when Nyx began to twist the two braids together. He had hardly gotten the satin cap over her head before Zenova was tearing the towel from her shoulders and leaving the room.