musical mood: gilded lily – cults
The prank took place the next Monday. Cass figured on a Monday night, most of the Hufflepuff students would be in bed rather early, compared to a weekend. And George had the nerve to call her a goody-goody.
"This is a terrible idea." Cass muttered to George as they made their way to the cupboard that was directly across from a pile of barrels, that George insisted was the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room. How he knew this was up in the air - since when did he talk to Hufflepuffs? The only one Cass had ever seen him speak to was Cedric, and he was constantly rude to him.
"Come on, Cassie, it's brilliant. Hide in a cupboard, eavesdrop for the password, it's pure genius."
"I still don't understand why I have to be in the cupboard with you." She sighed. "Wouldn't it be easier for you to stake it out on your own, then come to get me in the kitchens when you figure it out?"
"Maybe." George shrugged. "But where's the fun in that? Besides, I like the company."
"Does everything have to be fun for you?"
"Yes, absolutely everything."
She sighed again, running a hand through her hair as she shook her head. "You're ridiculous."
"So you've said. Many, many times."
They approached the cupboard, George swinging the door open and motioning for Cass to enter. "Ladies first."
"Such a gentleman." She rolled her eyes as she stepped inside, shifting awkwardly as George shut the door behind them. It was cramped, and stuffy, with only the edge of the door as a source of light and a peephole to keep watch for a Hufflepuff to come by with the password. George's shoulder was brushed against hers, as she stared out through the crack in the door. She didn't trust him to not prank her by keeping her in there longer than needed.
"Do you see anyone?" George asked, his voice low, not quite a whisper, but quieter than usual.
She shook her head. "Someone should come soon, though. It's nearly curfew."
"Right."
A silence fell between the two.
"I'm bored."
Cass turned to glare at George. "It's been like five minutes."
"Yes, and?"
"And, how can you already be bored? This was your idea, after all."
He shrugged, his shoulder nudging into hers as he did, the sensation sending goosebumps down her back.
"What's your favourite colour?" George asked, completely out of nowhere.
"Pardon?"
"What's your favourite colour?" He repeated.
"Why?"
"Just trying to pass the same." George shrugged. "I think someone's favourite colour says a lot about them."
"It's green."
"Ew, like Slytherin?" He scrunched his nose up, though Cass could tell he was joking.
"No, like...grass. Grass green."
"Any reason why?"
She bit down on her tongue, unsure if she should speak. But she did, without commanding herself to, like her mouth had a mind of its own. "Green reminds me of Connor. We, er, we used to sneak out in the middle of the night, and meet up at the park. We'd lay on the grass and watch the sun rise, and talk about running away. His eyes are also green...well, more of a hazel, actually, but..."
"You really loved him, didn't you?"
She nodded, willing herself not to cry. This wasn't the conversation she was expecting to have. "I still do. Even after everything. He was everything to me. Life without him feels so...wrong. But I doubt I'll ever see him again."
"Don't be so sure."
Another silence passed between the two.
Cass eventually broke it. "What's yours?"
"What's my what?"
"Your favorite colour."
"Oh." He paused, pondering this for a moment. "Blue."
"Why blue?"
"It reminds me of you."
Cass's stomach did a backflip, her heart beginning to race, and the proximity between them certainly didn't help. Had she heard him correctly?
"That's, er, sweet." She sputtered out, hoping the darkness of the cupboard concealed her red cheeks. "Is it because I'm in Ravenclaw?"
"Yeah, but blue also suits you in general. Dark blue to be specific. Maybe it's because you're pretentious."
"Oi, how is blue pretentious?"
"You ask about the colour and not how you are pretentious?"
"Please, I've accepted my pretentiousness ages ago. I am a Crouch, after all."
George snorted. "Don't worry, your pretentiousness is part of your charm."
"I wasn't aware I had charm."
"Oh yes, you're full of it. You think I'd spend my free time in a cupboard with a girl that didn't charm my pants off?"
"Please don't take your pants off."
He laughed again, this time a bit too loud, and Cass pressed a hand to his mouth without thinking about it. She didn't want to get them caught, after all, but the touch felt far too intimate. His lips grazed against her palm, and her breath caught in her throat. What would his lips feel like against hers...
George raised his eyebrows, and Cass could feel a smirk forming on his face. She quickly withdrew her hand and put it back to her side, as if to pretend she'd never done that in the first place.
"Do you still fancy Pretty Boy?"
Well, that was random.
"You should stop calling him that. It's rude."
"Oi, like you're a saint!"
"Fair enough. And...I don't know."
Cedric had been the image of her fancy for two years now, and she was certainly still attracted to him, but now there was George...
Her and Cedric would never happen, Cass knew that for a fact. He was too old, too popular, too cool to be interested in someone like her. How he even considered her a friend was beyond her, surely he had far more hip people to associate with. But her and George...when they'd fake dated, it had almost felt real, even if Cass refused to indulge in the fantasy at the time. Could they work? They were opposites in every way imaginable, but by the way he was acting, it almost seemed like he fancied her as well...
With every ounce of courage she could muster, she spoke. "Do you fancy anyone?"
"I think the answer to that is obvious." George's gaze flickered from her eyes down to her lips, a brief, blink and you miss it glance, but Cass noticed.
The door suddenly flew open, a bright light blinding Cass's vision, and she squinted to see who had interrupted them. Of course they had to come in now...
"Cedric?"
"Cass?" Cedric looked just as baffled to see them as she did him. George was the only one to seem indifferent, a passive smile still on his lips that had just momentarily been so close to Cass's. "What are you two doing?"
"What are you doing?" Cass blinked, her voice slow, hesitant.
"I heard noises, I thought someone might've got themself locked in." Cedric shifted his weight from foot to foot, avoiding meeting Cass's eye. Chances are, he thought he'd interrupted a makeout session. "Er, sorry to intrude..."
"It's alright. We were just leaving." Cass stepped out of the cupboard, George shortly behind her, still wearing an accomplished sort of grin.
Well, it was fair to say their prank had failed once again.
*
Cedric barely looked at Cass throughout the next few weeks. What his problem was, she had no clue, but she tried not to let it bother her. She had bigger things on her plate, after all, such as her newfound feelings for George Weasley, of all people, and of course, her maniac brother on the loose, and the fact that someone had hexed Henry still lingered in the back of her mind.
She was at dinner with the Ravenclaws, where Parvati was sitting, yet ignoring her still, when the twins approached her table.
"Cassie! You won't believe who's here!" George said, grabbing her hand and pulling her onto her feet before she could say anything.
"What?" She blinked, baffled. "Who?"
"Your old elf! Well, I think it's your old elf. Winky, right?"
Cass nodded. Winky was here?! What the hell?!
"Fred and I were in the kitchens, and this elf walked by, drunk and crying and mumbling about Master Crouch, so I asked her her name, and she said it was Winky, and I remembered that was your elf's name, so...Dumbledore must've hired her."
"She's properly wasted." Fred added. "Like, full on drunk. Worse than Henry the day he got hexed."
"Oh no..." Cass said, shaking her head as the three made their way to the kitchens. The last thing she needed right now was her old house elf accidentally spilling all of the Crouch family secrets because she's pissed off her arse.
Winky was easy to find among the swarm of house elves in the kitchen. She was sat on one of the chairs, nursing a bottle of firewhisky the size of her. How she was managing to hold the bottle up with her stick thin arms was a mystery - did house elves have some sort of super strength?
"Winky." Cass called out, and the elf looked up, her eyes glossy and red from sobbing.
"Mistress Cassiopeia!" The elf hopped to her feet, setting the bottle to the side, and accidentally knocking it over. The firewhisky spilled all over the floor, but Winky didn't even seem to notice, as she stumbled over to meet Cass.
"Winky is missing you so much!" Winky slurred, wrapping her tiny arms around Cass's leg.
She bit down on her lip. On one hand, she still was furious with the elf, for hiding Barty from her, for lying to her for years, but on the other hand, she knew she had little choice in the matter. Going against your master was impossible for elves, and Cass knew Bartemius must've forced her to keep the secret. Other than Connor, Winky had been her only friend growing up in Stromness - she'd practically raised her, too. Every memory of her childhood, learning how to tie her shoes, or reciting the alphabet, or being tucked into bed at night, was with Winky, not her father.
Cass patted Winky on the head, a sad smile slipping onto her lips. "I missed you too."
"Winky is so sorry!"
"It's okay."
"What is she sorry for?" Fred raised his eyebrows, and Cass jumped. She'd momentarily forgotten that the twins were there.
"Nothing." She waved a dismissive hand. "It doesn't matter now."
"Winky wanted to tell Mistress Cassiopeia, but she couldn't!" The elf began to wail, fat tears streaming down her wrinkled green face.
"Winky, it's okay, really."
"Tell you what?" Fred asked.
"Nothing." She repeated, this time more urgently. She needed to get the twins out of there before Winky said anything more, anything that could get their secret revealed. "Winky, I'm going to leave now, but it was nice seeing you."
*
Cass and Bethany rarely agreed on things, but they shared the same enthusiasm when the Yule Ball was announced in mid-December. Or, rather, lack thereof enthusiasm. Dressing up, finding a date, dancing, none of that was in any way appealing to the two, who would've preferred to stay inside their dorms and work on some extra credit homework.
"You have to go." Ana insisted, dragging them both to Hogsmeade over the weekend to go dress shopping.
It was hard for anyone to say no to Ana, Cass and Bethany included. That didn't mean they didn't complain throughout the process, though.
It was just the four of them, being Cass, Ana, Bethany and Naia. Padma stuck with the Gryffindors, and since Parvati was still giving Cass the cold shoulder, they were in separate groups.
"Do you have dates yet?" Naia asked, while trying on a red dress that hugged her frame perfectly.
Cass shook her head.
"I'm going with Colin." Bethany said, her cheeks tinted red. Odd.
"What about you?" Cass turned to Naia, who was grinning.
"Not yet, but I'm going to ask Luna tonight."
"That's adorable! She'll say yes, I am sure!" Ana clapped her hands together in glee.
"I hope so. You're going with Terry, right?"
Ana nodded as she slipped on a poofy yellow dress. Bethany zipped up her back. "Yes, he asked me yesterday."
"I'm surprised that your Weasley twin hasn't asked you yet, Cass." Naia raised her eyebrows, a silent question.
"I told you, we weren't really dating. He doesn't actually fancy me."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that. He's clearly mad about you."
Cass let out a laugh, shaking her head. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't I?"
"How does this look?" Ana asked, holding up a light green dress to her body.
"Try it on!" Naia urged, before turning back to Cass and Bethany. "Did you guys hear who Padma and Parvati are going with?"
Cass flinched at the mention of Parvati, and hoped no one noticed.
"I don't know, and I don't really care." Bethany said as she pulled on a slim red dress, eyeing herself in the mirror.
"Harry and Ron!"
"Oh wow, really?" Cass blinked. "I figured Ron would want to go with Granger. He's obsessed with her, after all."
"Yeah, that's the thing, no one knows who Hermione is going with. She won't tell anyone, including her dormmates. Lavender knows all the gossip in the school and she doesn't even know who Hermione's date is!"
"Maybe she doesn't have one, and is too proud to say so." Bethany shrugged. "Her personality is a pretty big turnoff."
Cass snorted.
Nearly an hour went by before they were finished shopping, Cass settling on a wispy dark blue dress with off the shoulder sleeves. She tried not to think about what George had said that night, about blue being his favourite colour because it reminded him of her, but it certainly influenced her choice.
They were eating dinner at their usual spot at the Ravenclaw table, when Theodore approached them. He met Henry's eye for a brief moment, who shrunk under his gaze, then carried on as if his brother wasn't even there.
"Cass, I have a question for you."
She blinked. "Er, okay. Ask away."
"Will you go to the ball with me?"
Well, that was unexpected. Theodore wanted to go with her, of all people? Was he delusional?
"As friends." He added when she didn't say anything.
She nearly sighed in relief. The last thing she needed was Theodore Nott developing a crush on her. "Oh, right. Yeah, sure. Of course."
*
Cass didn't mean to ignore George, really. Sure, everything was a bit awkward since the cupboard incident, but the biggest problem for her was the kitchens, which had become their usual hangout spot. Now, with Winky working there, she had no desire to go anywhere near the kitchens.
"Cassie!" A voice called out to her as she entered the library, and she didn't have to turn around to know who was speaking to her.
Pince shushed George, who rolled his eyes as he approached her. "It feels like it's been forever."
"We had class together yesterday."
"Yes, and?"
"You're ridiculous."
"So you've said."
Cass walked through the aisles, examining the books, searching for a new potions one. She needed to learn the recipe for a certain hair dye that Naia really wanted for the ball. She was desperate to turn her black hair into a light ginger, which Cass was sure would suit her perfectly, though she thought Naia's hair was beautiful as it was.
George followed her. "What are you looking for?"
"Hair dye potions. For Naia, not for me. Never again."
"Good. I like your hair how it is."
She hoped he couldn't see the blush that was creeping onto her face.
"I heard you're going to the ball with Henry's brother."
"I am, yes." She shrugged. "He asked me, so..."
"I figured you'd be more into Henry than Timmy."
"Oh my God, his name is Theodore. It isn't that hard to remember." Cass rolled her eyes, pulling out a book from the shelf. "And we're going as friends."
George leaned against the shelf, causing a book to fall onto the ground. He ignored it. "Well, I'm going to ask Dahlia tonight."
"Good for you." Cass ignored the pang of jealousy she felt hit her, like a knife stabbing her in the stomach.
"And Pretty Boy is going with Cho Chang."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Just trying to figure out if you still fancy him. By your reaction, you either don't, or do but you're trying to hide it. You're hard to read sometimes."
"Why do you even care who I fancy?"
"Please, we both know the answer to that."
Did they? She blinked, bemused, and shook her head. "Whatever you say, George."
*
The Yule Ball fell on Christmas, and Cass found herself to be surprisingly excited. She hadn't spent much time with Theodore in a while, outside of him trying to sell potentially deadly potions to her and her friends, of course. The whole Henry/Theodore fight had caused such a divide between the groups, with Theodore now spending most of his time with the Slytherins, namely, Draco Malfoy. Cass pitied Theodore for that above all else.
"You look lovely." He greeted her at the bottom of a stairwell, as she approached him. His dark brown hair was slicked back, its usual curls flattened, and he wore fancy, high class dress robes that only a Nott would own.
"Thank you. So do you." She gave him a smile - a genuine one, at that, as he held out an arm for her to take. She did.
In the crowd, she spotted their friends - Ana with Terry, Naia with Luna, Bethany with Colin. The Patil twins with Harry and Ron, like she'd been told, and Lavender with Seamus Finnegan. Henry was with a girl Cass didn't recognise, but looked quite happy to be there.
She was surprised Bethany showed up with her muggleborn 'boyfriend', but the middle Burke child seemed oddly cheerful in the moment. She certainly looked beautiful, in a red dress that complimented her figure perfectly. For the first time, she could slightly understand why Colin was so crazy about her.
A slow song came on the moment the two stepped into the dancefloor, Cass nearly tripping over her own feet as she did. She'd never been a graceful being, and slow dancing was certainly not her forte.
Theodore, however, was a natural. He knew exactly the right steps, the proper places to rest his hands on her body, how to match the rhythm of the music. Perhaps that was a perk of being in the Nott family - sophistication. Probably the only perk of being a Nott.
"You're good at this."
Theodore's eyebrows shot up in amusement. "Thanks? So are you?"
"Don't lie."
"Alright, you're getting there, though. You've only stepped on my toes a couple times."
"Sorry." She stifled a laugh, grinning at him.
Though her happiness didn't last long. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted George and Dahlia embraced in their own slow dance, and she gulped. Dahlia looked absolutely stunning, in a strapless green dress that had a slit going up her leg, a little too high.
"You wish you were with him, don't you?"
Cass blinked. "What?"
"Come on, everyone knows you're not over him." Oh yeah, she forgot Theodore didn't know they'd been fake dating. "It's obvious. And he's clearly just as obsessed with you."
"If he was, he would've asked me before you did." Cass shook her head.
"I'm just surprised you got over Diggory. I figured you'd be into him for ages. He'd have to die for you to get over him."
"Don't say things like that." She scolded, though she was grinning. "No one is going to die anytime soon."'
"You're right." He gave her a small smile in return, though his mind seemed elsewhere. "You know, not to be a mood killer or anything, but there's someone else I wanted to go with as well. So maybe it's good we went together - we're the rejects."
"Who was it?"
"I don't know if I should say." He lifted her up as part of the dance, his hands tight on her waist as her skirt flew up.
When Cass was back on the ground, she swiftly straightened her dress before continuing to dance. "If you didn't want to tell me, why did you say anything in the first place? Come on. I won't tell anyone."
"It's Ana."
Well, that was certainly unexpected.
"You...and Ana?"
He nodded gravely.
"But she's...muggleborn. Won't your father have your head?"
He nodded again, his eyes travelling down to the floor at the mention of his father. "He'd kill me."
"Does she know? How you feel about her?"
"No. I don't think so, anyways. Maybe she's guessed. If she does know, she would've talked to me though, don't you think?"
Cass nodded. Ana wasn't one to avoid awkward conversations. She said what needed to be said and that was that. She admired her for that.
"I think you and Ana would be good together." That wasn't a lie - of course, she'd never thought about it until now, but now that she did, Ana and Theodore would work perfectly together. Far better than Theodore and Bethany - what their guardians were thinking when it came to that pairing, she'd never understand.
"Do you really?" His eyes lit up, and she nodded again.
Though she didn't get the opportunity to vocalise her opinion, as she was interrupted from their semi-awkward slow dance by a sharp tap on the shoulder.
"Percy?" She frowned, stepping away from Theodore. She spotted George with Dahlia, still in the middle of their slow dance, not having noticed Percy Weasley enter the dance floor. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes, yes, everything is fine. I don't know if you heard, but I got promoted, actually. I've got promoted, from intern to a paid worker!"
"Brilliant. Er, why are you telling me this?"
Percy shifted, as if wounded by her comment. "I'm just wondering if you could deliver this letter for me." He held out an envelope addressed to Bartemius Crouch Sr, in swirly, fancy handwriting. "I've been trying to get through to Mr. Crouch, but he's been ill and has not been responding to my letters. It's urgent Ministry stuff, and I'm unsure who else to go to."
"My father is ill?"
"Yes, you didn't know?"
She shook her head gently back and forth, her brain wracked with questions.
Bartemius didn't get ill, ever. Not once in her childhood had he come down with so much as a sniffle, and even if he did, he'd never neglect his work. Work was his everything, he could be on his deathbed and he would continue to show up for the Ministry. He wouldn't make himself unreachable, the idea was preposterous. If he wasn't responding to Percy, that meant something was stopping him, and there was only one thing that could be.
Barty.
"I think you'll have better luck getting in contact with him than I will." Cass handed Percy the letter back, practically shoving it into his fingers, and before he could say anything, she turned to Theodore. "I need some air."
"Er...okay." Theodore blinked, befuddled as she quickly pushed through the crowd and exited the ballroom, nearly tripping over her dress as she did. The walls were closing in, it seemed, there were too many people, and oh goodness, they could see the look on her face, the look of guilt, and they knew her secret. Everyone knew, and the walls were closing in and she was going to suffocate.
She should've gone to Dumbledore long ago, and be damned with the consequences. If Bartemius was dead, it was her fault for allowing Barty to roam free.
When she finally found the door and exited into the cold, harsh winter air, it didn't do much to help. The walls were no longer closing in on her, but the snow was falling, threatening to drown her. In the bushes nearby, she thought she saw Bethany and Colin making out, but she could hardly focus on one thing at a time, she was seeing double, no, triple.
She knew, deep down, what had happened. It wasn't an outlandish conclusion to come to.
My father is dead. My father is dead. My father is dead.
My fault. My fault. My fault.
She had to go to Dumbledore, that very moment, but she wasn't sure she could handle going back inside. Not when the walls were caving in on her. And there were so many people...
Tomorrow. She'd tell him tomorrow.
If he wasn't dead, he'd be in pain, tortured, insane. No, maybe it was best if he was dead. Not that it was any comfort to her. She'd always despised her father, but she'd never wanted him dead, never wanted him hurt. Now, it felt like the world was collapsing in on her.
"Cassie?"
For fucks sake. Not now.
"What do you want?"
"Oi, no need to be rude. I just wanted to chat." George stepped up from behind her, clearly unable to sense just how on edge she was.
"I'm a bit preoccupied."
"Really? Because I don't see anyone." He looked around, his eyes landing on the bushes. Was it her imagination, or were there two of them? Her vision couldn't quite focus on one thing, everything creating a double of itself, including George. "Ew, is that Colin Creevey and your creepy friend making out?"
"Bethany isn't my friend." She muttered, her head spinning as she spoke. Her bad hand ached like hell, even though she hadn't done anything to provoke her old injury, and she rubbed the scar under her eye so hard that skin began to peel off.
The snow above her was falling too fast. It was going to suffocate her.
Maybe that was a good thing.
"How was your dance with Theodore?" He said his name with a tone of disdain, like Theodore was some sort of curse word. At least he got his name right, this time.
"Fine. Thank you."
"You left early. Did something happen? Did...did he do something?"
She shook her head. "Nothing happened. I'm fine, really."
"Okay." George eyed her up and down, pursing his lips. "Dahlia is annoying me. So I figured I'd check up on you."
"I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yep." She couldn't breathe. The snow was in her lungs, clogging her airways. Yet she could talk, somehow, a gentle wheeze escaping her lips. "I have to go."
"Cassie, you're crying."
Was she? She hadn't noticed.
She hastily wiped her eyes dry.
"I have to go." She repeated, and began to walk away. But she didn't get far, as George reached out, grabbing her left hand and keeping her in place. Keeping her stuck to drown in the snow.
"Why do you do this?"
Snow. Suffocation.
My father is dead.
"Do what?"
"Push me away."
"I can't do this right now."
"Why not? Cassie, you make no sense. You flirt with me in the cupboard one moment, then you're going to the ball with Theodore Nott the next! Cassie, listen to me. You know how I feel about you. If you don't feel the same way, just say it so I can move on."
His words hardly registered to her. He was confessing what sounded like his feelings towards her, and she couldn't focus for five seconds. It went in one ear and out the other.
"Please let me go."
"No." George looked like he was about to cry too, an odd sight indeed on the usually cheerful boy. "This isn't fair, I want to help you. You need to stop pushing me away."
"Life isn't fair." She was being harsh, she knew that. But all she could feel was the snow on her skin, the invisible outside walls caving in, the spinning in her head as her world crumbled. "Please, just leave me alone."
And he did, his footsteps echoing in the snow as he walked away.
Cass didn't have time to feel bad.
Her father was dead.
Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.