The smell of fresh gainday ke phool filled the atmosphere of Pasha house. The staircases and walls were dressed in strands of yellow flowers and fairy lights. The backyard decorations were almost complete. Floor cushions arranged with a dholak in the middle. The stage with a jhoola was also in place. Everything looked ethereal. Yellow was the vibe -representing life, happiness and energy.
Amongst it was her - the personification of all of those things. Of course, dressed in yellow too. Umeed's yellow pishwas intricately adorned with silver embroidery with shades of purple in the embroidery and the dupatta. She looked every bit royal with her hair tied in a loose braid, strands of hair framing her face, light makeup and floral jewellery for the ears and forehead. She didn't even need any makeup that day. She was glowing with happiness anyway. The smile just would not leave her face.
She could care less about what was happening all around, the chaos, the sound of girls playing the dholki downstairs, or one of the family members fretting over the preparations. All she could think of was him. She was going to leave this place and move into his house in just two days. The thought should have made her cry, and it did every now and then, but the excitement was too much for her to control.
Their home.
And the thought of tonight was making her even giddier. It was their mehndi night. The first event of the series of wedding events. She was going to see him in the kurta she helped him pick. The entire event was to celebrate Umeed and Farjaad, and the beginning of the rest of their lives together. The thought of seeing him, coming to her house, but this time as her groom was keeping the emotions high. She couldn't sit straight.
Just a few more minutes.
~
The reception of the groom and his family was complete. Big tokras of traditional sweets, thaals of mehndi and gifts brought by Niggo and Maryam were all arranged beautifully in front of the stage. Farjaad was seated on the jhoola, dressed in his navy blue kurta and shawl, with a pair of peshawari chappal. His smile was bright enough to light the whole event. His eyes searching for Haya. He had to get to her.
~
She was getting irritated for the first time now. Sitting on the bed, her back facing the door, she was again fixing her earring. As pretty as they looked, they were really annoying. They kept getting loose or getting stuck in her hair. This was infuriating.
It was in the middle of this that she heard the door open and then close. Must be Haya. About time!
"Hayaaa, dulhay walay bhi aa gaye hein aur mere gajray abhi tak nahi aaye yaar. Ye dekho mere haath bilkul khaali hai. Sameer ko kaho na please ja ke le aaye. Wo mera phone nahi utha raha, aur kamray se nikalnay ki mujhe ijazat nahi hai.
Upar se in kaanton ne mujhe itna tang kiya hua hai, dil kar raha hai utaar ke phenk - "
She was cut midway when a hand was placed over her eyes from behind. The scent she couldn't mistake filled the room.
His scent.
Farjaad removed the hand and sat on the other bed, facing her.
"Aap ka dimaagh kharab hai? Aap is waqt yahan kya kar rahay hein? Kisi ne aap ko dekh liya na to - "
Again, she was cut off in the middle, but this time by a placement of his hand on her mouth.
"Kisi ko na bhi pata chalna ho to tum cheekh cheekh ke bata do. Chup nahi raha jaata tum se?"
He laughed lightly and shook his head. Umeed kept looking at him with awaiting eyes. Why was he here?
Farjaad brought forward his other hand from behind his back. A pair of beautiful white and purple gajras in them. Umeed gasped despite his hand still covering her mouth.
"Tumhari kalaiyaan waqaye khaali lag rahi hein. Wo is liye kyun ke mene socha tha in mein gajray mein khud apnay haathon se pehnaahon ga."
Slowly he lifted his hand from her mouth, and held both of her wrists in his hands, softly bringing them towards himself. Shifting forward, he softly slid up the gajray on her wrists, letting his fingers linger over her hands a little longer, and then held both of her hands in his.
"Beautiful"
Umeed murmered under her breath, staring at her wrists.
"Very."
His voice was equally low. Eyes not moving an inch away from her face.
Just at the moment, Haya entered the room, panicking.
"Farjaad bhai, uthein aap, chalein waapis jaayein. Pasha sahab kab se aap ka pooch rahay hein aur ab sab ko shak honay laga hai."
Both Umeed and Farjaad jumped up, Umeed practically kicking him out of the room, and shutting the door off.
As Farjaad stumbled and tried to regain his stability, he saw Pasha sahab walking twards Umeed's room. He ran in the other direction and hid behind a door. It was the bathroom. That bathroom.
He casually walked out, this time with his shoulders wide, taking confident steps.
"Aray barkhurdaar, tum yahan kya kar rahay ho?"
"Wo uhh, Pasha uncle, washroom gaya tha mein."
Pasha sahab's eyes squinted ever so slightly, as if he did not believe him. He looked at Farjaad, then towards Umeed's room. Farjaad's eyes followed him, trying to mantain his composure.
"Acha ab jao, neeche sab pooch rahay hein tumhara."
He didn't need to be told twice, as he all but ran down.
~
Everything was straight out of a dream. From the moment Umeed entered the venue, looking radiant as ever, to the rasmein. Farjaad never knew he needed this in his life. He was never too big on the concept of shaadi anyway, and especially not a wedding with all the numerous traditions and rituals. But sitting there, at that moment, next to the woman that lit his entire universe up, he couldn't help but wonder if this is what life was all about.
Happiness and joy, without the fear of them going away.
Getting lost in the moment, without having to worry about missing a meeting or being left behind in the rat race of life.
As he looked to his side, seeing Umeed smile from ear to ear as some woman placed mehndi on her hand and complimented her, he wished to frame this moment and replay it in front of his eyes for eternity. All she had to do was be there, right next to him, and suddenly everything felt like it was falling into place.
Once the rasams came to an end, and most of the guests started to leave after dinner, Sameer, Haya, Aagu Jaan, Maryam and AK began freestyle dancing in front of the stage. Farjaad and Umeed were busy laughing at them, when Haya and Sameer pulled them along.
It was Umeed and Farjaad now in the middle of a circle the rest around them had made around them. Their eyes met each other, there was a certain newness to the whole situation suddenly. It was as if they were officially 'one' for the whole world. No more restrictions. A new phase.
And they both didn't know how to react to it.
Farjaad slowly held her wrists in his, lightly swaying to the music. Haya had applied mehndi on her hands, so he was careful not to touch it to ruin it. How does one dance to mehndi songs slowly? They didn't know either. But they were trying.
They gradually felt more comfortable, when Farjaad let his body loosen up, and twirled Umeed around, her dress flowing beautifully with her. Suddenly the circle around them constricted, making Umeed trip over her pishwas, and landing directly into Farjaad's arms.
Everyone around them was busy, but they were in their own separate world.
Ishq pardo se jaise ab nikalne laga hai
Ye to aayega nazar sar-e-aam
Hum donon ke alawa koyi aur nahi hai
Ishq pannon pe hai tere mera naam
Her hands at his torso, trying to stable herself, his arm around her waist, holding her tightly to prevent her from falling. Umeed finally managed to look up him, he was already looking at her like she was the centre of his entire universe.
Tu jo naina ch pilaya ae sharabi rang laya
Tere ishq ch hoya main malang sajna
Teri doriyan nu laike dil vaade utte behke
Aaj udd'da gaaye jaise ki patang sajna
Even the music had fallen silent at this point. It was just them, removed from all reality. The look in Farjaad's eyes was making Umeed physically weak, leading her to hold him tighter to hold herself together. There was desire. A lot of it. She knew it reflected in hers as well.
She gulped and finally took her hands off of him, taking a step back. Farjaad didn't stop her either. Only when she had taken off her hand did she realise what happened.
The recently applied henna on her hands was now somewhere else. As her eyes widened with horror looking at his chest, where her hands were a moment ago, Farjaad's own eyes drifted to the spot. Lightly touching the spot with his finger to check, and it did indeed return with wet henna.
Umeed bit her lip, fidgeting with her fingers. Farjaad, on the other hand, was trying to stop his smile. He bent down and whispered in her ear,
"Acha hua white nahi pehna"
And then he walked out to wash his kurta, Umeed following him.
"I'm sorry, par aap ko pata hai mene waqaye jaan ke nahi kiya, wo to bas mera paaon phisal gaya tha."
Farjaad turned to look at her, laughing lightly, no sign of annoyance on his face.
"Tum ne jaan ke bhi kiya hota to mein tum se naraaz na hota. Tumhein haqq hai, tum jo marzi karo."
Farjaad shrugged as he turned the tap on, lightly patting his kurta. Umeed leaned against the doorframe, staring at him, who kept stealing glances at her through the mirror. Memories of months ago fresh in both their minds. Same place, same positions. Just that this time Farjaad didn't have a scowl on his face, but a smile of fondness and acceptance. He knew what he was signing up for, and he did not mind one bit.
__________________________
~ the next evening ~
Umeed and Haya were sitting on Haya's bed. Umeed's head placed on Haya's shoulder. They weren't talking, just enjoying each other's company, with chai in their hands. There was a day off between the mehndi and nikkah. Umeed had utilised it well by packing all the things that she needed and double checking whether she let anything out. As excited as she was to start her new life with Farjaad, she couldn't help the sinking feeling in her stomach at the thought of leaving this place.
And most of it had to do with the girl sitting next to her. Her partner in crime. Her confidante. Her sister.
"Umeed?"
"Hmm?"
"Kya tum waqaye humein chor ke chali jao gi? Mera kya ho ga yahan tumharay bghair?"
"Hai na tumharay paas wo namoona, katha angrez."
"Haan, magar wo tum to nahi ho na."
"To mere paas bhi to wahan tum nahi ho gi Haya. Tumharay bghair mera kya banay ga? Mera to dimaagh hi nahi chalta hai jab tak tum saath nahi hoti."
"Farjaad bhai hon gay na, dekhna kesay chalta hai tumhara dimaagh."
Umeed felt silent. Deep down she knew all her fears were exaggerated. All the possibilities she could think of, of things could wrong, there was always solace in this one thought that Farjaad will be there.
Haya's phone started ringing suddenly, Farjaad's name showing on screen.
"Farjaad bhai mujhe kyun call karay hein?"
"Kyun ke mera phone band hai."
"Ye lo, tum se hi baat karni ho gi, utha lo."
"Mujhe nahi karni, tum pooch lo kya hua hai."
Haya answered the call.
"Assalam o Alaikum Farjaad bhai."
"Walaikum Assalam. Haya, wo Umeed aap ke saath hai? Us ka phone nahi lag raha, mein kab se try kar raha hoon."
"Umeed....."
Haya trailed off, looking at Umeed's direction, signalling her to take the phone.
"In se bolo ke aaj mujhe in se koi baat nahi karni."
Farjaad could hear her loud and clear. What was with her? They were completely fine yesterday.
"Wo Farjaad bhai, darasal..."
"Umeed theek to hai?"
"Theek hoon mein, bas mujhe aap se baat nahi karni is waqt."
Haya got annoyed and put the phone on Umeed's ear, getting off the bed.
"Acha suno, mein tumharay ghar ke baahir khara hoon. Mein tumhein baahir bulanay wala tha, par tum kehti ho to mein aa jaaon?"
Suddenly, the emotions weren't the important part.
"Aap mere ghar ke baahir kharay hein? Is waqt? KYUN? Aap ka dimaagh kharab hai?"
She jumped up. Haya's eyes also went wide at this.
"Haan wo umm, mene socha nikkah se pehle aik aakhri baar chup ke mil lein, phir to saari zindagi khulam khula hi milna hai...."
Umeed facepalmed herself. Was this man hearing himself?
"Farjaad, aap ne ghalti se koi sharab to nahi pi li? Ya aap ka sir to nahi laga kaheen?"
"Nahi, mein bilkul theek hoon, aur serious hoon. Mein waqaye tumharay ghar ke baahir khara hoon, tumhara intezaar kar raha hoon."
Umeed ran a hand through her hair.
"Farjaad, mein raat ke 12 bajay, saaray ghar walon ki maujeedgi mein aap se milnay kesay aa sakti hoon?"
"Wese hi jesay tum pehli baar mujh se mili thi. Dewaar ke bilkul saath meri gaari khari hai. Tum phalang ke utro gi to nazar aa jaye gi. Mein intezaar kar raha hoon."
And then he cut the call. Umeed looked at Haya, who was equally confused, but trying to hide a smile.
"Mene suna tha log shaadi ke baad aik doosray jesay ho jatay hein, Farjaad bhai to abhi se Umeed Pasha 2.0 ban gaye hein."
"Haya! Tumhein mazaaq soojh raha hai. Kya karoon mein ab? Nahi ja rahi mein, khara rahay saari raat baahir."
"Umeed! Aisay nahi karo"
"Haan to mene thori na bulaya, ye konsa waqt hai aanay ka?"
"Umeed, wo konsa koi ghair hein, aur tum konsa pehle kabhi yunn ghar se nahi bhaag ke gayi. Chali jao, thori dair mein waapis aa jana. Sab log so rahay hein wese bhi."
Umeed was still unsure, but she still got up, wrapped a shawl around herself, wore her joggers and sneaked out. Haya and Umeed quietly tiptoed their way to the staircase outside, and Umeed quickly jumped over the wall.
She was still on the ground when a hand was stretched out to her, she looked up and it really was him. Here, at this time, looking half sleepy. Umeed made a face at him, but still took his hand and got up. They were quick to drive away before anyone caught them.
"Kyun aaye hein aap? Kya chahtay hein, nikkah se aik din pehle shadi cancel ho jaye?"
"Pasha sahab kar hi nahi saktay shadi cancel, itna pyaar kartay hein wo mujh se."
Umeed rolled her eyes at his self-assured smirk. She was in no mood to talk to him anyway. Sensing her unusually quiet state, Farjaad stopped the car outside a small, yet well-kept park. He got out, made his way to Umeed's side and opened her door.
They were quietly walking on the running tracks. Umeed was still thinking about leaving her entire life behind. Farjaad's worry over her silence was getting deeper.
"Umeed, tum theek ho?"
"Hmm, theek hoon"
"Koi baat hui hai kya? Tum naraaz ho mujh se?"
"Nahi, mein naraaz nahi hoon. Par aap ko yunn, is waqt nahi aana chahiye tha."
"Tumhara phone nahi mil raha tha, messages ka tum jawaab nahi de rahi thi. Mujhe laga tum naraaz ho shayad."
"Nahi, mein masroof thi bas thora."
Silence again. But it felt uneasy. There was something different about her today.
"Umeed, tum theek nahi lag rahi ho mujhe. Hua kya hai, ye to batao. Koi baat hui hai?"
Umeed made the mistake of looking up at him and meeting his concerned gaze. And then it happened, what Umeed had been holding in for so long, she started crying. All the different emotions she was feeling, all came to her at once.
"Umeed, tum ro rahi ho?"
"Nahi..."
*a hiccup*
Farjaad held her by the hand and took her to a bench nearby, sitting her down, as he himself sat on his knees in front of her, holding both of her hands in his. Umeed kept sobbing for a while, and Farjaad quietly observed her, not interrupting, just running circles on her hand with his thumb to calm her down.
Once she had calmed down, he finally spoke up.
"Kya baat hai Umeed? Koi cheez pareshan kar rahi hai tumhein?"
"Nahi bas aisay hi, thori emotional ho gayi thi."
"Koi baat hai to tum mujh se share kar sakti ho."
Umeed was hesitant. How could she tell him that she was stressing out about the wedding? The thought of leaving her house was making her emotional. What if he took the wrong message from it?
"Rukhsati ke khyaal se pareshani ho rahi hai?"
Clearly she didn't have to tell him. How did he know?
Umeed remained silent, lowering her head so she wouldn't have to look him in the eye.
Farjaad got up from the ground and sat on the bench next to her, facing her. Her hands were still in his. He slowly lifted one of his hands, bringing it under Umeed's chin, making her look at him.
"Idhar dekho mujhe. Umeed, ye to normal hai. Tum apni puri zindagi chor ke aa rahi ho, ye koi asaan baat to nahi hai."
"Aap ko bura nahi laga?"
"Bura? Umeed, mujhe kyun bura lagay ga? Mujhe to tumhara ehsaanmand hona chahiye ke tum meri khaatir apna ghar, apni family, sab kuch chor ke aa rahi ho. Pareshan hona, second thoughts aana, even mujh pe ghussa aana, ye sab to normal hai Umeed."
"Mein aap ke saath apni zindagi shuru karnay ke liye buhat excited hoon Farjaad, sahi mein. Magar bas ye emotions, ye khyaal aa jatay hein kabhi kabhar."
"Mujhe pata hai tum excited ho Umeed. Insaan aik waqt mein aanay walay waqt ke liye excited aur peeche reh jaanay walay waqt ke liye udaas ho sakta hai. Tum ne jo waqt us ghar mein guzara hai, wo tumhari zindagi ka, shakhsiyat ka hissa hein. Un se yunn door jana koi asaan kaam to nahi hai. Aur mein kabhi bhi tum se ye expect nahi karoon ga ke tum apni zindagi ke is hissay ko khud se door kar do. Ye tumhari zindagi ka hissa tha, aur hamesha rahay ga."
"Sach?"
"Haan, zaahir hai. Tumhein jitna waqt chahiye ho ga adjust karnay ke liye, mein tumhein doon ga. Meri taraf se kabhi tum pe koi pabandi, koi rokk tokk nahi ho gi. Ye tumhari family hai, Umeed, mein tumhein in se door nahi karoon ga kabhi."
And that's when Umeed smiled. Her first genuine smile of the entire day. She felt as if a burden was lifted off her chest.
"Aap sach keh rahay hein Farjaad?"
"Of course. Mein tum se shadi kar raha hoon Umeed, koi tumhein umar qaid mein thori daal raha. Tum jab chaho, jis se chaho milo, jahan chahay jao. Mein pyaar ke naam pe fazool pabandiyon ka qaail nahi hoon."
Umeed looked at him with love. Farjaad brought his thumb to the brink of Umeed's eye, where a few tears still remained. Wiping them away, he said,
"Ab rona mat. Mujhe meri Umeed hasti hui achi lagti hai. Tumhari ankhon mein ye aansu nahi pasand mujhe."
Umeed slightly nodded. She shifted in her seat, inching closer to Farjaad and placed her head on his shoulder. He didn't even flinch, just sat properly, to make her feel comfortable, placing his arm around her.
"Thank you Farjaad."
She whispered.
"Nahi, thank YOU, Umeed"
Silence prevailed again, as they sat there, watching the stars above. But this time it wasn't heavy. This time it brought comfort.
Just as they brought comfort in each other's lives.