It feels like the air is being sucked out of me.
My ears are screaming and the lights inside the vehicle keep flickering.
There's too much talking. I can't think. Cant breathe. Cant speak.
I feel paralyzed. Immobilized. Disabled.
I've run out of words to describe the turmoil I'm experiencing.
I walk inside NYPD, calmly. Hands cuffed behind my back but I still feel powerful.
Officers stress at my arrival, some in shock because I'm actually standing in here with an official arrest. I turned around to stare out of the large doors I walked into, staring at the thousands of guards on the posts.
They're moving the spotlights around, trying to spot vigilantes or escapees in the sky or in the streets.
"My, my," An officer, wearing a sleek black suit says, hands in his pant pockets as he slowly walks towards me. "Look what the cat dragged in."
I lower my head and narrow my brows at him. The cat dragged in nothing. I have no idea who this random officer is, but he's not Striker.
The guy who brought me in grabbed my hands, trying to walk me forward. I use my shoes as brakes, "Watch your fucking hands!" More people are showing up in here. Even distant prisoners are looking.
"I can walk on my own." I snap, tugging myself away from him and rifles are lifted up. "Not here you can walk on your own," The head honcho tells me.
"Where's Striker?" He asks my arrester. "Easily disposable, sir. He has proven to be useless—"
"Watch your tongue, Lawless. You don't get in a say on how we run the laws here." The suited one snaps.
"Lo siento, Captain." Lawless mumbles. Captain? I stare at the other one. There's no way this is the captain everyone talks about.
A cop is getting too close to me with a rifle, about to poke me. I jump up and kick him in the chest. "Are you all that fucking blind?!" I straighten myself out on my feet.
"I have no weapons on me." I do a 360 to show everyone that I am literally just a sack of clothes right now. I'm dripping wet on their floor because the weather outside is so shitty.
"You, yourself are the weapon, Timber." Captain tells me, now face to face. I sneer at him in disgust. What a prick. Is that what Striker wanted? "It's embarrassing that you guys don't even have my government name."
"I do." Someone says, barging through the opposing door. Soaking wet just like me but they look like they were drowned first. Striker paves in, head high and eyes low.
"Officer," Lawless sighs with a smile. "Just on time." I'm death staring him. He slicks his hair back because it's dripping in his face and his shoes are squeaking on the marble floor.
"Indeed. It seems like you have failed your directive and can be sent home now." Captain agrees, nodding his head towards one of the girls behind a computer who started typing away.
"That's not necessary, Captain. It was his capture." Lawless says. Capture? That's how this bitch sees it? As a capture mission?
"Why did you show up with her in your cuffs then?"
"Because I was handling another nutcase." Striker smiles, cracking a joke. I realize his mask is nowhere in sight. He's clearly accepted his fate now, huh.
Wait. What other nutcase?
He whistles and another guard tugs Raven into the room, she's unconscious, severely bloody nose and shoulder with bandages wrapped.
He shot her. He shot her.
"Two birds with one stone?" Captain scoffs. "Hard to believe after months of this crap you just happened to have caught them."
"What you people assigned me to do; it takes time. It's not something that can be done in days." He sneers, wiping droplets off of his nose, sighing.
"If you were really so great then it would've been easy, soldier." Lawless bickers, continuing the tension and drama.
There's silence and I'm breathing heavily, still in shock of what has just happened here. "Well then, I guess it is your bounty after all." Captain decides, waving his hand to the girl he had at the computer.
I can't hold my rage back anymore. I thrash out of Lawless' grasp and instantly make a break for the door. This is my official test to see how far Striker was willing to go with this little act he's been putting on.
The spotlights outside illuminate right onto me with a shattering thump and I squint my eyes, making a break for the gate.
Realizing my cuffs are still behind my back, I pause for one second to tuck my legs as close as they can to me, and leap over my arms so my hands are in front of my body again.
I jump onto the fence, trying to climb it as I make it to the top, barreling over the electric barbs and crashing roughly onto the ground.
They let me leave. There were no other orders. I walked out of that door and they let me.
I realize I'm leaving Raven in there. She's going to be alone, rotting in a prison cell for the rest of her life — which won't be long in there — and I won't be there for her.
But they want me.
They want her, but not like they want me.
I've heard about how they talk about me. I'm not quite sure who 'they' is yet, but someone on this earth wants my head for a non-obvious reason.
Someone in the high interior.
I hear nobody chasing after me, no shouting commands, no metal boots and rifles clanking. I turn around just to make sure, and there's a green laser approaching me slowly in the grass. I gasp, but it's too late.
I scream as a bullet hits somewhere on my back.
My face is in the dirt, I'm eating the rubble and ash remnants from months ago but I can't move.
I swear, it's been two seconds and there's already voices. "Stop." The Captain says suddenly, other soldiers back off. I can't see. I can only hear what's happening. My hair is in my mouth and it's disgusting.
I taste blood.
"Sir?" A guard asks. "Throw her in a cell." He snaps, his voice growing distant but he's so loud. "What about Striker?"
"What about him?" Captain yells. "Stick to protocol. I don't care what he has to say. He's a snake."
"She's still awake." He's talking about me. "Good. Start moving; it'll be more painful for her." He finalizes, voice completely out of reach.
I'm in so much pain when they pick me up I can't even scream and my vision is gone because of all the tears I am dropping.
§
"You're new here." I spit, groaning in pain when the nurses take the bullet out of my back. I don't know where exactly they shot me because I've been sedated and numbed so many times in the last half hour.
"I feel like we got off on the wrong foot." He says, leaning forward in his chair. I hope he doesn't extend his hand out to me.
He extends it out to me.
I stare at him, completely still. My wrists are bound down to the chair I'm sitting in. He thinks he's funny. "I thought it was creative."
"It wasn't." I shake my head at him. He sighs, leaning back. Silent. "You weren't Captain when I was here last time, and I've been here a lot."
He laughs at my comment. "You're right. I wasn't. I'm new, of course." The nurses at my aid get close to my ribs, which are visibly bruised and purple. "Back off." I demand, watching her nervously step away from me.
She's probably used to the rough, prison boys who try to flirt and get money or other things. The girls in this prison were never anything to write home about; they were visibly depressed and suicidal at most points.
They were the complete opposite of Raven and I.
I miss her.
Focus.
"Were you working when I was in here?" I ask, wishing I could cross my arms but I can't. "Probably. A lot of faces go in and out of this prison now, so yours wouldn't have been familiar." He shrugs.
Why so cooperative? What does he want? Is there a catch? Does he really just want small talk with a criminal?
"What's your name?" I nod my head at him. Let's see how cooperative he can be. "I should be asking you the same thing," He replies. I lift my brows at him and open my hands. "It's Carlos."
"Surname? Or primary." I take the chance to my tilt my head, jerking because the nurses have been stitching up my back slowly.
"Primary. My last name is irrelevant to you." Carlos says. I regain my nerve senses. "Why?"
"Because we're friends. You don't need my last name."
I laugh. "We are not friends. We are anything and everything but friends." He frowns gamely, "Not even acquaintances?"
"You could dream."
"Captain Carlos." I repeat. "Sir yes sir." He smiles with an exhausted sigh. "What do you really want from me?"
Carlos stands up finally. "I'm glad you've asked because I'm sure you'd be very interested in what I have to offer."
"I thought it was illegal to bribe?" I joke, unfortunately not getting a chuckle out of him. "Do you want to start over? Do you wish you could've used your smarts for something else?" He asks.
He's making me think. I don't like it. I don't like when people do this; ask me questions about my early life that make me regret.
"Not particularly, no," I lie. "I'm pretty happy where I am right now."
"Even though, in 6 hours, that happy spot will be on an electric chair?" He asks, testing my patience. My smile fades. He smiles at that.
"Carlos, what are you proposing here? You want something. You definitely want me dead," I pause, rethinking everything that has happened so far, "But something else you want is holding you back."
He gives me a hard look. He doesn't like when I'm smart, huh. "I have the ability to clear your name. The government has the ability to clear your name. The President of the United States can wipe your name and existence."
"He wouldn't be that nice to me, after everything I've done?" I'm sarcastic, snickering to myself. "Believe it or not, government officials can pull strings too." He says, pacing the length of the room.
"What are you offering me exactly? What do you want, buddy."
"We want you to work for us. Be in our Military. You're an asset that would be greatly appreciated and would see the field all day every day."
A lightbulb in my head glows. "Military?" I slowly exhale. "Who are you invading? What war are you starting?"
"Closed information," 'Classified' Carlos says. "You would be paid like everyone else, and supplied with all of the insurances covered by us."
"Why do you want me?"
"Why do you think, Alpharo?" He questions. "You're a criminal. Nobody sees you. Nobody finds you. Nobody beats you."
"Sheesh don't praise me too much, Cap," I say, kind of seriously. "Might lose your rank."
"Unlikely," He shakes his head. "You truly should consider the offer because it's your only other option."
"What about Rocori? Where does she go in this scenario?" I know the answer. They don't want her.
"In your place. Raven Louvremont is not a player in this game." Captain continues, splaying a hand. I still, "You know her name."
"I know yours too, Claire. It just seemed too informal to tell you that right now."
"How did you know?" I spit.
"Why did you get the nickname Timber? Was your first robbery chopping down trees or something?" He ignores, barking a laugh that hurts my ears.
"How do you know our names? How long have you known?" I demand, jerking against the chair and hurting my wrists.
"Striker told us the moment he met you. We've known all this time." He blows raspberry; he assumes it was obvious that this happened. I wrinkle my nose in pure hatred. Another thing to kill Striker for.
"What happens if I say no to this demand?" I raise my voice a little. I wonder where Raven is being held. I hope she gets medical treatment.
"I think you already know." The electric chair. In a coffin six feet under if they're that nice to me. Posted worldwide on social media of my arrest and execution. Live video feed being spread to websites that won't take it down for violation of content warning.
I wonder what it looks like to be killed.
I wonder what it feels like.
"What if I say yes?" I want more specifics. Do I get to go home? Get a break every so often? Actually sit by the beach with me and my own thoughts?
"You will be working and training for the first year, dedicated to each and any scenario. You will be under supervision at all times, in your home or apartment, and in public outside of work."
I basically get to start my life over just to lose it.
"If I run away?" I offer.
"You die."
"Disobey an order?"
"You die."
"Get physical with my supervisors?"
"You die."
"That isn't living! What you're offering me isn't living!" I scream, finding it hard to even consider what I want. Because either way, I don't get Raven.
"Because you're a terrorist!" Carlos shouts over me. "What, did you think you could actually walk free in some part of this world?"
"I'm a criminal! I've been walking free after all of my crimes for years! No penitentiary kept me locked up." I thrash against the cuffs again, eager to get out and do something with my fists.
"Do you accept, or not?" He asks again, making it very clear he doesn't want to be here any longer.
I sit back in the chair, sighing extensively. "How long do I get to decide?"
"Your execution is for six in the morning." He claims. "What time is it now?" It's after midnight, that's for sure. "One-forty-one." His voice is tired and lazy.
"Can I talk it up with Raven?" He whirls to face me. "Fuck no. You are not permitted to see her while you are—"
"I need to talk it up with Raven," I sneer, once more. "Let me have this one thing before I die!"
He sighs, cussing softly. "I'll arrange the booths," He sticks his head out the door, calling for officers to come escort me. "Cooperate or this won't happen."
"Of course, Captain." I say emotionlessly. They stand me up and walk me out, roughly. I had to obey. It was disgusting.
It's minutes before I actually get to see Raven, and it has to be behind a glass screen, of course.
We're exchanging our sighs, our hands from beneath the screen as well as we can with the cuffs, and words.
"Did you get medical treatment?" I ask, first and foremost. She nods. "Yes. That dickhead shot me and just about broke my nose but I'm fine. I was treated very well, actually."
"I'm glad," I pause. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. Striker left, and Lawless got me before I could fight back." I rethink about what happened, angrily.
"He knew where my weak spots were. He knows me. He went straight for a punch in the side"
"I'm sorry who?" Raven blinks rapidly. "Who's Lawless? What kind of raggedy ass name is that?"
"It's his last name," I remember the conversation in Headquarters. "He's from Spain. He was called here."
"To do what?" She sputters. I shake my head, silently. "I don't know."
We're sitting in silence for a while and I decide I need to talk to her.
"Rave," I sigh. She goes still. "Carlos and I were talking almost an hour ago."
"Carlos?!" She shouts, frustrated. "The Captain?!" I close my eyes, clenching my fists. "Shut up! Can you let me talk for one minute?!"
Raven bites her lip in, eyes still narrowed at me but she slouches back in her chair.
"Carlos proposed a deal," I specify. "For me. He wants me to be a part of the Military. He won't tell me the juicy details about why they need me to be a part of whatever they're doing, but I feel like it'd have something to do with some sort of invasion; plan.
"My name is wiped. I'm given a new Government name by the President himself and everything about me is kept on a secret file somewhere only they'll know about." Hearing myself say it out loud?
It sounds barbaric.
"My execution? Cancelled. My arrest has not been made public yet because I still have time to decide. Government higher-ups will be there at my deathbed, noting everything about me so they can make a plan."
"But you haven't even said yes," She tells me. "Claire I have a lot of questions about this."
"I know. I do too. Ask me one." I decide. I think I already know which one. "What happens to me in this? Where do I go? Do I get to restart too?"
"You would be taking my place," I mumble, avoiding eye contact. "On the chair." Raven slams her fist down. "You are not to be considering this offer whatsoever! I don't care how much you could get paid! It will never compare to the rates we get at our select locations!"
"You don't think I've done the math? I know the rates I would make there yearly, is just about what we make in under 6 months," I lean forward in my chair again, elbows on the table. "If it means I get another shot at living? I want it, Raven."
"But what about me? You get to keep going with your life like everything is fine and I have to suffer because you get special privilege?" She says, trying not to sob.
"No matter which answer I pick, it's still going to be shitty no matter what."
"Then change the game!" Raven cries. "He's clearly giving you an option, so take advantage of it because he clearly wants to keep you alive!"
She is right. I could ask for anything I want in this scenario because he is offering me the best option; my life. The situations I could be in for the next 10 years may not be sunshine and rainbows, but I get to have an extra 10 years of my life.
Not ten seconds on a death chair. Ten easy years where I can still do part of what I love; get involved.
"I will bargain with him. I will. If I say yes, I will not let him take your life. Even if he says, 'someone needs to die' then I'll kill him." I say, lowly. Trying to watch my mouth.
Raven is quiet, staring at me for a little while before saying, "After all this time I didn't think you'd have gone soft. I didn't think you would be this selfish."
"How is it selfish? I could've said yes right then and there and let you die without even knowing what was going on," I scoff, "But I didn't. I made it very clear to him that I wanted to talk it out with my best friend before making any decisions and here I am."
"Decision: saving your life just to put away your friends'." She rolls her eyes. I narrow mine at her.
I stand up, pushing the chair out behind me. I hang the phone up on the wall. "I'm done here, Officer. Take me to Carlos."
Raven reads what I say and bangs her fist on the screen, shouting to me but I'm ignoring her.
"CLAIRE!" Is the last thing I hear her shout.