Part 23: Sisterhood
After taking a hot shower, Anya walks out of the bathroom, her mind still clouded with thoughts about Kyun.
She's trying hard to shake him off, his impact, the feelings he's giving her, but it's impossible. Every second he's not with her almost hurts physically.
She flinches when she unexpectedly finds Taryn standing in her room.
"Gosh, you scared me to death!" she gasps and passes her sister to get her lotion.
"I'm sorry!" Taryn chuckles, then looks at her curiously for a long moment. "Are you okay?" she asks. "You seem off since you got that necklace." She jerks her chin towards Anya's neck, to Kyun's gift.
"Yes, I'm fine!" Anya lies without looking at her, trying to be busy moisturizing her skin.
She feels her sister's eyes on her.
"What?" she groans but again her sister shrugs.
"Nothing!"
Not believing a word she says, she lowers her lotion and looks at her with an aggravated expression.
"Taryn, what?"
Her sister sighs and sits next to her on the bed. "There's this annual Christmas party again tonight" she explains. "I went there the last couple of years. It was lots of fun! A lot of people from your high school went there too and will come again this year..."
"So?" Anya asks and keeps on moisturizing her skin. Is she asking her for permission to go there?
"I want you to come with me!"
A loud, contemptuous laugh escapes her throat and she shakes her head vehemently.
"I'm not going to party with people that used to bully me! Forget it, Taryn!"
The scars of her high school years are deep enough. The only reason she made it through was that she knew she'd become successful one day.
Luckily, it happened...
"Please!" Taryn whines. "I'm twenty-four now and you promised to take me to one of those fancy L.A parties as soon as I'm legal, which you haven't done yet, so please go to this party with me instead! I wanna get wasted with my sister! Plus! You are the Anya! You're a fucking superstar! There's no better way to rub their noses in it!"
Again Anya chuckles at how eager Taryn is to convince her. She's sure her sister prepared her arguments a long time ago. And she did promise to take her out once she was legal, but Anya's been so busy ever since her career took off that she barely saw her sister. Then the whole hell thing...
Kyun wants her to enjoy this visit, wants her to have fun, and she promised him that she'd try at least.
Sighing, she looks at her sister. "Fine..."
Squealing, Taryn hugs her tightly. "You're the best! We're leaving at seven!"
Late in the evening, Taryn and Anya stand in front of a huge mansion.
"Boy!" Anya gasps. Their family never had to worry about money but these people are show-offs! Not even she, with the millions in her bank account, ever felt the need to buy... this!
Probably because she's alone though. If she had a family, she would consider it.
"Wait till you see the inside!" Taryn chuckles and they walk up the driveway.
The loud music and chatting from the guests hit Anya like a wall as Taryn opens the door. Barely anyone pays attention to her and she's glad for it. As much as she loves attention when she's on stage, this is different. Because they aren't here for her.
While walking through the huge, lavishly decorated entryway, she suddenly sees people turning around to them, sees them whispering at each other from the corner of her eye, sees them pointing at her.
"Ignore them!" Taryn smirks and takes her hand.
Anya can't help but miss Kyun at this moment. He would've made her feel safe, and powerful.
When they arrive in the living room, the news that she is here seems to have spread and almost everyone is looking at her. Only the music stopping abruptly would've made this more awkward.
God, why did she say yes to this?
"Jesus, don't be such vultures!" A voice groans from somewhere. "Keep on partying, don't act like lunatics!"
The voice comes closer as it speaks, and the next moment, she sees the person behind it.
Oh, damn.
Oh, fuck!
It's Kihyun!
"Taryn, Anya!" Kihyun walks up to them, his brown hair slicked back, wearing a loose red jacket that reveals more of his chest than she expected from him and this dangerously gorgeous smile on his face.
"Wow, I can't believe you finally made her come!" he says to her sister before looking at Anya. "It's been a while!"
Shyly, she nods. "Yeah, quite a while..."
She has a hard time getting her emotions under control. If she'd known he was the host...
"Make yourself comfortable!" Kihyun says. "We have snacks and drinks! Make yourself at home!"
Smiling, he passes them and greets a few other people and Anya turns around to her sister. "You didn't tell me Kihyun is the host of this party!" she snarls in a low voice and her sister shrugs.
"Would you have come if I told you?"
"Of course not!" She looks at her angrily.
God, Kihyun humiliated her to the core when they were fifteen!
"That's why I didn't tell you!" Taryn explains and takes her hand again. "Kihyun's cool, I can't believe he'd do what you said he did. Come with me!"
Anya doesn't like this. She doesn't like this at all. But she can't go home now. Kihyun would know it's because of him and she doesn't wanna give this son of a bitch that satisfaction!
So she takes a deep breath and lets her sister pull her to the bar. They each get a drink and sit down in the huge living space where the music is less loud.
Kihyun is so busy taking care of his guests that it takes thirty minutes before she spots him again. This calms her.
"Yesterday..." Taryn takes a sip of her drink. "Did something happen between you and Will?"
Anya tenses. It was foolish of her to think her sudden tiredness last night after Will's attack stayed unnoticed.
Still, she plays dumb and says, "What do you mean?"
"I don't know!" She shrugs. "You both left so quickly after bringing out the dishes and Will's behavior in general has been super weird lately."
Of course his behavior has been weird considering what his future looks like. She's still furious about the way he acted, but she gets it. Kyun was right—fear brings out the worst in people.
"You should've heard the way he reacted when Dad told him you're gonna come to Christmas." She cringes while staring into nothingness.
Then she looks at Anya and the artist can't help but smile. She has their mom's bright-brown eyes and her full lips and their dad's nose and smile. It's crazy how a person can be such a perfect symbiosis of two people.
Anya looks like their mother, through and through; they even share the mole under their right eye. Cole on the other hand has most of his looks from their dad.
"The two of you got pretty close before you left for Los Angeles..." Taryn says and rips Anya out of her musings. She can tell that Taryn is being careful with her choice of words, even though she has no idea what her sister is getting at. "I was only fourteen but the more I've been thinking about it, the weirder it gets. Was there... anything going on between the two of you?"
Anya's jaw drops and she feels a shudder creeping over her skin. "Are you implying that sixteen-year-old me had an affair with our father's best friend while my boyfriend was in hospital, dying?"
She has no idea what offends her more; That her sister thinks she was able to even think about anyone else but Henry and cheat on him while he was dying or that she thinks she'd have slept with a guy twice her age as a minor!
Taryn chews her bottom lip and her nervous blinking shows that she never meant to phrase it like that. "You were just pretty devastated back then. I was scared he might've taken advantage of you, promised you to save Henry in exchange for... other things. Not that he was actually able to help Henry, but you were young and desperate and probably would've done anything for Henry to recover."
Well, Anya can't deny that this is true. She did everything, including selling her soul.
Still, she doesn't know how to respond to that. This thought alone is so disgusting and at the same time, Will did take advantage of her.
"It's crazy," Taryn shakes her head. "For so long I couldn't get rid of this thought and now when I finally say it out loud I realize how ridiculous I sound. Please forgive me, of course, you would've never done this... I was scared it might've happened in a... non-consensual way..."
Anya gulps heavily whilst staring at her sister. Has she been living all these years with the fear that Will did something to her? This is something a young girl shouldn't even have to think about. She feels horrible.
"Will is just so shady and it got even worse over the years. Have you seen his tattoos? Is he in some kind of gang?" Taryn keeps on rambling and Anya leans closer, takes both of her hands, and looks at her insistently.
"Taryn, I promise nothing happened between me and Will! Especially not what you think! Yes, he is kind of weird, but it's nothing like you think!"
The urge to tell her what's going on, tell her about the deal, about Kyun, has never been stronger. But she can't drag her sister in all this mess. Under absolutely no circumstances.
"Back then he just showed me ways to deal with the possible loss of Henry..."
Her sister raises one of her brows. "As in?"
"Meditation and breathing exercises! I still use them to this day!" Anya spits out the next best lie that crosses her mind. But Taryn still seems suspicious.
"And what happened last night?"
Anya leans back and takes a sip from her drink. "He was a little pissed that I left and never called him..."
"What kind of dude seeks the attention of a seventeen-year-old like this?" Taryn groans and shivers again. "I stand by what I said, he's super shady!"
Anya can't deny that Will is indeed shady. But she is too, so it's fine. If she keeps up this topic, things might get uncomfortable for her soon, so she puts a smile on her face and takes another sip of her drink.
"Don't worry too much, he's nothing I can't handle!"
Taryn observes her for a long moment. Then she rolls her eyes playfully. "Fine!"
Anya giggles, wraps her arm around her sister, and kisses her cheek. "Thanks for looking out for me, sis."
In the following hour, Anya manages to not only take away Taryn's suspicion about Will but also her own tension and omnipresent thoughts about the deal, her career, and Kyun.
For the first time in years, it's just her and her sister, and it feels like they're connecting in a different way. A new way. An adult way. Taryn is without a doubt the funniest person Anya has ever met and for the first time it feels like she's hanging out with a friend instead of her baby sister.
"I miss you..." Taryn says eventually and presses her lips together. Anya's heart aches. "It's so unfair that all those people of L.A.'s high society get so much of you and I barely know what's going on in your life. I mean, sure, we talk every other day but..."
"Nothing is going on you don't know about, Taryn!" Anya lies again. "And actually, even though you might not notice, you get most of me. I'm... I'm not very close with anyone in the industry."
In the beginning, Anya was eager to network. She wanted to meet as many people as possible, expand her options. But the more the fame grew, the more she realized that people were using her. For her money, to get fame, or simply for a good connection. The scars of Henry's backstabbing were still too fresh so she decided to keep her contacts professional only, never let anyone come too close.
Also, the more time passed, the closer she got to hell, the more she realized that she had to minimize the damage as much as possible. She was a ticking time bomb, about to blow up, and would rip everyone close to her into the abyss.
Thinking about how her parents and her siblings would deal with her death was already painful enough; she couldn't stand the thought of hurting more people than necessary. She was certain that even her hardcore fans would've gotten past this, somehow. So she kept her friendships superficial.
She's been lonely, she can't deny that. But it was the only option she had.
The only times she felt like a normal girl was when her body hit the sweaty chest of a random guy after a good, long night of sex. Overpowered and limp from coming, her mind still clouded with adrenaline and dopamine.
She hadn't had a real friendship for over ten years—until she met Kyun. With Kyun, now she knows what it means to have someone who stands with her no matter what.
"Still!" Taryn whines. "I have to follow the Anya hashtag just to know what's going on! I'm with Nana by the way... that guy you're hanging out with lately is sexy as fuck!"
This is the last thing Anya can possibly stand right now. She never thought she'd get confronted by the demon so often while visiting her family.
"Can we not talk about him?" Anya takes a deep breath. "Things with him are...complicated."
Taryn glances at her necklace before meeting Anya's eyes again.
"Of course! But let me say one last thing: I don't know what exactly happened in the past ten years to make your smiles become so fake, but you deserve to be happy! And if this guy is what makes you happy, you shouldn't fight it..."
Anya feels like her sister just slapped her face. Her heart pounds in her chest again and she swallows deep to suppress the tingle in her nose.
Taryn knows her better than anyone, but still not enough to know that Anya doesn't deserve happiness. Not when she's sacrificing souls to save her own.
But maybe she's right. Things will go downhill soon enough and she needs to find a way to deal with the guilt if she wants to survive. But until then, she could take things with Kyun as they are and stop questioning his intentions, his motives, or if it's right to have these intense feelings for him.
Maybe that's a part of living: accepting things as they are...
The more drinks Anya and Taryn have, the more they connect to other people in their surroundings, talk, laugh and have fun.
Anya remembers some of the faces; others are completely strange to her. She's amazed by her sister's shameless yet charming flirting, and wonders who taught her this. But it's kind of fun watching her.
The later it gets into the night, the more Taryn seems to connect to a pretty blonde girl. Anya really appreciates Taryn's effort to focus on her but, damn, this girl is already fucking Taryn with her eyes. And she can't judge Taryn for something she does almost daily as well.
"I'll head to the bathroom!" the artist says and gets up. While doing so, she nods over to the girl and Taryn smiles shyly.
Smirking, Anya leans closer. "Have fun!"
Since the bathroom was just an excuse to give Taryn some space, she decides to look around a little. Every now and then, while walking through the crowd of people, they stop her, wanna take a picture with her, or simply talk about old times.
This becomes a bit much pretty fast without Taryn as her buffer.
Eager to find a quiet place to catch her breath, she wanders into the less populated parts of the mansion, passing door after door until she rips one of them open, slips into the dark room, closes and locks it behind her.
Unsure where this sudden anxiety is coming from, she leans her forehead against the hard wood, closes her eyes, and takes a few deep breaths.
Calm down Anya! These are just people. You entertain people for a living...
"Anya?"
The sudden call makes her flinch around and her back hits the door.
Kihyun.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" he says and walks up to her. "Are you okay?"
Gulping, she nods. "Yeah, I was just... I don't know..."
A part of her wants to turn and leave. The other part kind of missed Yoo Kihyun.
"Did something happen?" he asks in a worried voice and stops in front of her.
Quickly, she shakes her head. "No, I'm just a little overwhelmed, that's all!"
Kihyun watches her for a moment until he nods. "I get you! That's why I hid here."
A shy smile appears on his face and she tilts her head. "Why are you hosting this party if you were just going to hide anyway?"
"Ah you know." While he speaks, he turns and walks to the huge floor-to-ceiling window. "Tradition. Reputation. Call it what you want..."
In high school, Kihyun was always a very outgoing person. Kind of the center of attention. She'd never thought he'd get socially exhausted as well.
Still tense, she walks up next to him and her eyes follow his gaze out of the window.
"Oh wow!" she gasps when she spots the... damn, what is that?
It almost looks like one of those grottos in Thailand's wilderness. A huge pond-like pool with luminous turquoise water, surrounded by rocks and a damn waterfall. The entire space is lit by small lanterns around it while steam billows from the water. She assumes it's a heated pool and it's steaming because it's so much colder outside.
She's beaten by this. Sure she has money but... damn, this is big.
"Your pool parties here must be nice!" she says, can't hide the admiration in her voice.
Kihyun chuckles. "Are you crazy? Do you know how expensive this was? I would never let someone party in this! The pool on the other side of the house is meant for the... for the..." he pauses, seems to be trying to find the right word.
"The plebeians?"
"You're the one who said it, not me!"
They both laugh.
"It's beautiful here..." she admits after they calm down and their eyes meet.
"Thank you! Want water? Don't worry, the bottle is sealed!"
His consideration surprises her. He seems to know more about the struggles of women and girls than most men.
"Yeah, thank you!"
"Sit down!" He nods to the couch next to the windows while walking over behind his huge desk and opening a mini fridge behind it.
Her body is still tense as she watches him walk. This time it's not her nervousness' fault but simply because she can't help but remember the reasons she had this huge crush on him at fifteen.
With a smile, he passes her the bottle and falls next to her on the couch.
"I'm glad you made it this time..." he says. "And I know my words don't mean a thing but I'm impressed and pretty proud of you when I see how far you've come! I think I speak for everyone here when I say: we didn't expect that!"
Oh, of course they didn't. Because none of them ever cared about her!
For a long moment they stick to this superficial small talk and she feels herself becoming more relaxed. It surprises her that she feels so comfortable with him, given their history. When they were fifteen she had a major crush on him until he rejected her in a very cruel way. Kihyun was the first dude that broke her heart. It wasn't her worst heartbreak—sure, back then it was because she was a teenager, and every emotion is heightened when you're a teenager. But looking back, he was just a crush. Nothing compared to Henry.
Still, she's resentful, can't quite shake off what happened back then. But the more he moves, the sexier she finds him...
And then she has a very dark thought.
How proud would Kyun be, if she didn't only enjoy her time here but also find a few more victims?
And Ki wants her. She can see it in his body language, in the way his eyes follow her every movement. He's always been confident but his confidence seems over the roof these days. His boyish look is gone too. He matured—in a very sexy way. And even though he had the money back then too, Anya can see that he's more careful about it now. He doesn't brag, seems to have realized that money isn't everything.
She doesn't really care about his motives, doesn't care that he only wants her because she is who she is.
But can she really do this? Can she send her former high school crush to hell?