Emersyn
"Em, seriously, you can't just lie there forever. It's been five days," Valarie's voice filters through the blanket I've wrapped myself in. Her tone is soft but firm, like a gentle nudge in my side.
When I peek out from the blanket, I see Valarie standing in the doorway, her curly auburn hair cascading around her shoulders, catching the morning light. Her eyes, a soft shade of green, are filled with concern, and her full lips are set in a determined line. I've always admired how Valarie's appearance mirrors her personality: warm, inviting, and strong.
There's a playful sparkle in her eye, the one that's always been there since we were kids, but it's muted now, overshadowed by worry for me. Her slender frame leans against the doorframe as she crosses her arms, dressed in her favorite oversized sweater, waiting for my response.
I clutch the blanket even tighter. "Just a few more days to drown in my own misery, please," I plead. My heart hurts, my head hurts, everything hurts. Maybe if I lie here long enough, I will become one with the couch. Being a couch wouldn't be so bad.
"Sweetie," Valarie begins, "I'm saying this because I care, but you're starting to smell. And if you spend another day on my couch without taking a shower, I might have to toss the whole thing out."
I take a moment to process Valarie's comment. "There's no way I smell that bad," I mutter under my breath, a tinge of denial creeping in. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I reluctantly lift my arm to catch a whiff. Oh, holy fuck... Valarie wasn't exaggerating. I do smell.
The realization snaps me back to the present, the sharp sting of embarrassment cutting through my wallowing. I feel my cheeks flush, and my body suddenly feels heavy, tethered to reality.
Reluctantly, I loosen my grip on the blanket, allowing a sliver of light to penetrate my self-imposed darkness. Valarie's words have a way of cutting through my wallowing.
With a sigh, I peel myself away from the comforting warmth of my blanket cocoon, my body sluggish and uncooperative. The room spins momentarily, a physical manifestation of the emotional vertigo I've been feeling for days.
"There's my girl." Valarie's tone is annoyingly perky.
I shoot her a glare, sinking back down to where I just managed to sit up.
"Oh no you don't," Valarie declares, gripping my shoulders. "You can wallow all you want after you've taken a shower and had a proper meal."
With a playful yet determined expression, she pulls me up from the couch, her grip firm but gentle. There's a spark of mischief in her eyes that manages to flicker through my melancholy.
"Come on, Em. A hot shower will work wonders, I promise," she coaxes, leading me toward the bathroom like a reluctant child.
Fine, maybe she's right. Maybe a shower will help. But what's the point? Will it wash away the pain? Will it make everything okay again? I doubt it. It's just water. But Valarie cares, and she's trying to help me. I should at least give it a try.
I trudge along behind her, the weight of my sadness still clinging to me like a heavy cloak. The bathroom feels foreign and uninviting, a stark contrast to the familiar warmth of my blanket cave.
As the shower comes to life, steam filling the room, I'm reminded of the countless times Valarie and I have shared this bathroom, shared this shower. The feel of her skin against mine, her lips against mine. Valarie and I have always been the best of friends.
There were a few times I thought we would be more, but it never happened. And then I met Lyle. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts as I turn my attention back to Valarie.
She adjusts the temperature to the perfect warmth, exactly how I like it. She hands me a fluffy towel, a small gesture of care and encouragement.
"Just take your time, Em. Let the water wash away the sorrow," Valarie says, her voice gentle. Her eyes, filled with understanding, meet mine, and for a moment, we share a silent acknowledgment of all that we've been through together. It's not just the shower that offers cleansing; it's Valarie's unwavering support.
As I step into the shower, the cascade of water envelops me, washing away the physical and emotional grime. Each droplet carries with it a sliver of hope. Under the cascade of water, I let myself reflect on our friendship, on Valarie's relentless optimism, and the countless times she's pulled me back from the brink. Valarie has always been the more level headed of the two of us.
The water feels like a baptism, a rebirth, and I allow myself to believe, if only for a moment, that I can begin to heal.
Emerging from the shower, I feel a flicker of energy returning to my limbs. Wrapped in the cozy towel, I make my way back to the living room where Valarie has prepared a simple yet comforting meal.
"Freshly made grilled cheese, just for you," she announces with a mischievous grin. "Because everyone knows that cheese has magical healing powers."
I can't help but smile, the corners of my lips lifting in response to her infectious enthusiasm. Valarie knows exactly how to lift my spirits, even in the darkest of times.
Maybe this grilled cheese won't solve all my problems, but it's a reminder that there are still moments of joy to be found. It's a reminder that I'm not alone.
As I take a bite of the warm, gooey sandwich, a burst of flavor dances on my taste buds. It's simple, yet it carries a touch of comfort and familiarity that warms my heart.
Valarie plops down beside me, her own sandwich in hand. We eat together, the simple comfort of the meal bringing some semblance of normality to my chaotic world. But as the last bites disappear and the empty plates sit on the coffee table, Valarie's expression changes. It's more serious, her eyes probing, and I know what's coming.
"Em," she begins cautiously, "I know this is hard, but have you thought about what's next? You can't stay on my couch forever."
The thought had crossed my mind, but I'd been avoiding it like a poorly written novel. Finding a new place to live meant admitting that my old life was gone.
"I know, Val. I know," I sigh, feeling a fresh pang of grief. "I'll start looking for a new place today."
Valarie reaches across the table, squeezing my hand. "I'll help you. We'll find something great. You're not alone in this."
Her words strengthen me, and with a reluctant smile, I agree. "Okay. Let's do this."
Hours later, we're huddled around Valarie's laptop, scrolling through endless listings of rentals. Some of the descriptions make me laugh, while others send a shiver down my spine.
"A one-bedroom closet with scenic views of the alley's garbage cans," Valarie jokes, reading one of the less-than-stellar descriptions. "Oh, here's one. Cozy basement suite, occasional flooding, friendly spiders."
I grimace at the thought. "How about this one? Luxury penthouse with gold-plated toilets. Only three times my annual salary!"
Or what used to be my annual salary. I should also be looking for another job. It won't help to find a place if I get kicked out for not being able to afford the rent.
We share a laugh over the gold-plated toilets, but as the hours wear on and the reality of my situation sets in, the task becomes daunting. Nothing feels right. Everything is either too expensive, too sketchy, or too far away.
Just when we're about to call it quits for the day, Valarie's eyes widen, her finger landing on a listing that hadn't caught our attention before. "Hey, look at this one, Em."
I lean over her shoulder to read the details. It's a five-bedroom house renting out a room, a place that with the money I've saved up, I could afford to live for a while as I continue looking for a new job. The description is vague, but something about it draws me in.
"What do you think?" Valarie asks, her eyes searching my face. "You think you can put up with four roommates?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure, but it might be worth a look," I reply, uncertainty creeping into my voice. But as I consider it further, a strange sense of excitement begins to build within me. Maybe this is the fresh start I need. Maybe this is the opportunity to rebuild my life.
Valarie seems to read my thoughts, her smile encouraging. "You should call and see if it's still available."
With a flicker of hope, I reread the listing, my fingers deftly searching for the contact number. It's brief and to the point, and I find myself dialing the first half of the number before a detail catches my eye. 'Texts only.' My fingers freeze. That's a bit unusual, isn't it?
A twinge of doubt tugs at me. Should I really be doing this? The nagging thought lingers, but the reality is stark – this is the only place within my budget that hasn't sent chills down my spine. My decision is made.
I compose a text, keeping it simple: just my first name and a note of interest about the room for rent. My heart skips a beat when a response arrives almost immediately, the promptness both reassuring and unsettling.
They're available for a showing tomorrow morning.
Too soon? My mind whirs with uncertainty, conflicting feelings battling for dominance. The weird vibe I'm getting gnaws at me, yet something compels me to keep going. I send my agreement, my thumb hesitating for just a moment over the send button.
The address arrives. No pleasantries, no further information. I stare at the stark characters, leaving the message unanswered.
A knot of apprehension tightens in my stomach, twisting with a mix of fear and excitement. I'm on the brink of the unknown, about to leave behind the safety of Valarie's presence and the familiarity of my past. Yet beneath the uncertainty, a spark of anticipation dances within me.
This could be a new beginning, a fresh start. The fears may loom large, but so does the promise of opportunity. I can't help but feel drawn to this path, unsure of where it leads but ready to discover what awaits.
"Em, I'm so proud of you," Valarie says, reaching over to hug me. Her arms are a sanctuary, and I let myself sink into her embrace, drawing strength from her unwavering support.
"You're coming with me tomorrow, right?" I ask, needing to hear her say it.
Her face falls. "I wish I could, but I'm working a double tomorrow. But I can take off for a few hours if you really want me to."
"No, no. It's fine. I'm a big girl. I've got this," I reply back, only half believing myself.
That night, I find myself lying in Valarie's bed. It's been a long time since we shared a bed. Her warm body beside mine is comforting. My mind flashes back to my earlier thoughts in the shower.
Valarie and I have been friends for as long as I remember. We were thirteen when we shared our first kiss, but those secret kisses lasted for years before they became more. Butterflies flutter in the lowest part of my stomach as I think about her hands on me. The softness of her skin on mine.
The intimacy of our connection never went beyond the physical aspects. Honestly, I don't know if I ever wanted it to. And Valarie certainly never said anything. We're just best friends, who used to occasionally hook up. Friends do that, right?
In the dark, I can almost feel her breath on my neck, her fingers intertwined with mine. I can tell that she's still awake, but she's so still that I doubt it for a moment.
That is until she shifts her body until she's facing me. Her face is inches from mine, her breath ticking me. I don't move, unsure of what she's doing. She just stares at me, her fingers still interlocked with mine.
Time seems to stand still as we lay there, caught in each other's gaze. The dim light from the streetlamp outside casts a soft glow on Valarie's face, illuminating her eyes, which search mine as though seeking an answer to an unspoken question. She's so beautiful.
"Em?" she whispers, her voice barely above a breath. Her thumb gently strokes the back of my hand, sending a shiver down my spine.
I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry. "Yeah?"
She hesitates, her eyes flicking down to our intertwined hands before meeting mine again. "Do you ever think about... us? They way we used to be? The things we used to do?"
The words hang in the air, heavy and laden with meaning. My heart pounds in my chest, and I can't tear my eyes away from hers. I've thought about it. Of course, I have. How could I not? But I was with Lyle and stupidly faithful to him.
"I..." I stammer, trying to find the right words. "Val, I... Yes, I think about it. But it's complicated, isn't it? I was with Lyle for so long."
But I'm not with him now, am I? Nothing is stopping me from sharing such an intimate moment with my best friend.
Valarie doesn't say anything, just keeps staring at me. After a moment, she slowly moves her face towards mine until our lips touch. The kiss is delicate at first, like she isn't sure of what she's doing. Her lips are so goddamn soft, and I feel the butterflies in my lower belly flutter like crazy at the contact.
Her hand that is holding mine moves until they are both above my head. Her other hand glides under my shirt, leaving a scorching trail over the sensitive skin of my stomach. My whole body reacts to her touch, and I let out a soft mew.
Her touch sends a shock of electricity through my body, and I find myself leaning into her, craving more. Our lips part, and the kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and urgent. Valarie moves until she's over top of me, straddling one of my legs. Our bodies seem to fit perfectly together, and it feels so right, so natural, like we were meant to be like this.
Valarie's lips leave mine and trail down my neck, finding that sensitive spot that makes me shiver with pleasure. I can hear her soft breath, feel the heat of her body against mine. It's intoxicating.
I allow my free hand to explore her body, gliding over the familiar landscape of her back, her shoulders, her arms. She's responsive to my touch, a soft sigh escaping her lips as I reach the small of her back. Everything feels different, more intense, and I can't help but want more.
As our lips meet again, Valarie's tongue glides against mine. She tastes as sweet as I remember. The wetness between my legs grows with every second she touches me. I need her so much it hurts.
I'm basically melting into a puddle of want beneath her. My hips buck, looking for contact. Looking for some friction that can ease the ache between my legs.
As if she's reading my mind, Valarie's hand roams down my body once again. Her touch is featherlight. She reaches the waistband of my shorts, only pausing for a moment before sliding past it.
Her fingers find my wetness immediately. I feel like I'm already about to explode. I whimper against her mouth as she glides her fingers through my wetness, coating her fingers before plunging them into me.
"God, Val," I gasp, breaking the kiss. I don't know how I've gone without this all these years. The years wasted on Lyle.
I've never been into girls, not really. Only Valarie. I don't know if it's because she's my best friend, the other part of my soul, or if it's something else. She knows me better than anyone else, even Lyle. Especially Lyle.
My whole body is on fire. I need this. I need her. My moans are matched by her own sounds. I look into her eyes, heavy with lust, and see a longing that mirrors my own.
"You feel so good, so wet," she breathes, her voice husky. "Do you like what I'm doing to you?"
"Yes," I pant, my voice trembling with need. "Don't stop. Please, don't stop."
Her mouth finds mine again as she continues her sensual assault, her movements skilled and sure, her touch confident. She breaks the kiss, only to move her mouth further down.
She untangles her hand from mine, using it to push my shirt up. She tugs at my bra until one of my breasts pops out. Her mouth is hot as she takes a nipple in. Electricity runs through my body. I'm on the edge.
Her fingers slide in and out, and her thumb finds my clit. She presses down on it while moving her tongue on the tip of my nipple.
"Come for me," she coaxes, her breath hot on my skin. "Let me hear you come."
My whole body shudders, and I give in to her command, waves of pleasure crashing over me. My hands fist the sheets, and I cry out her name.
"That's it," she whispers, her touch softer now, easing me through the aftershocks of my orgasm.
As the last vestiges of pleasure fade, I pull her up, kissing her deeply.
I happily bring her to orgasm before we curl up together and fall asleep, sated and content.