Lydia
I pull away from Wes as if his hands are fire. Which they might as well have been. I go in the back to find my stuff.
What on earth compelled me to cling onto him as if he was a lifeguard and I was drowning? And to top it all off, I rubbed myself against him. I groan and put on my jacket. Thank all the angels looking out for me that the security guard showed up when he did.
I take a deep breath. I was distraught. That's it. The storm freaked me out and he was just... there. None of this would have happened if it hadn't been for the storm. It meant nothing. Just adrenaline.
I zip up the jacket as he comes back to get his things. Without a word, I grab my bag and hurry away from what would have been a giant mistake.
I check the time as I leave the Den. Fuck. I just missed the bus. I bring up the app to check when the next one is. I'll just have to wait for it.
It's still raining outside, but a gentle, peaceful rain. And there's no more thunder. I can do this. I can wait for the bus and get home.
"Lydia, wait." I stop when he calls out for me. He comes running up to me. "I'll drive you home."
"I'll take the bus."
"You can't wait in the rain. Come on."
I shake my head.
"Don't be stupid. I can just drop you off."
I hesitate.
"You're going to catch a cold."
With a look at the open bus stop, I sigh and walk toward his car. "That's a myth, by the way. You don't catch cold from being out in the rain."
He hurries to unlock the car. I shiver a bit, but I'm not sure if it's from the weather or his presence. Or the fear.
I buckle up, feeling a bit better when he does as well. I'm holding my bag. Clutching it with white knuckles. I can do this. A bus is no safer.
He pulls out of the parking place and onto the street. The traffic is light, but he doesn't speed. My lungs burn and I remember to breathe.
I sit absolutely still. Worried I'm going to distract him. The fear is there. But the panic isn't. Maybe I was ready. Maybe, somehow, during the last year, I've processed what happened, and finally reached the point where I can be in a car when it's raining and not have a panic attack.
I dare a glance at Wes, terrified it'll distract him. He's calm. Attentive. Is it because I don't care about him? Is that the difference with previous times?
He's a safe driver, but so was my dad.
I focus on breathing steadily as he slows down for a traffic light.
"Are you ok?"
"Fine." I don't want to talk. Because maybe that's why... "Just focus on the driving."
I know he's confused. He wrinkles his forehead, but does as I say.
It's a short drive, but by the time we reach my apartment, I'm slightly more relaxed.
"Thank you," I say and unbuckle.
To my surprise, Wes turns off the car.
"We need to talk about what happened."
Oh god. Which part? I shake my head. It doesn't matter. Right now, I don't want to talk about any of it.
"No, we don't. Nothing happened."
"That's not true."
I take a deep breath. I can't discuss my parents with Wes. I just can't. Not now. Not ever.
"We almost kissed."
"Oh." Yeah, that happened. How the hell did that happen? "I think it's just lust." I refuse to look at him and try to sound nonchalant. "So you squeezed my ass. Big deal. It's not like it means anything."
He moves in his seat so he's facing me. "Don't tell me I didn't turn you on, because I know I did."
I shrug. "So what? Lots of guys make me horny. It still doesn't mean anything."
I open the door and step out into the cool rain. My skin is burning as I hurry inside. Only when I'm safely in the building does Wes start the car again and drive away.
So he's a talker. I should have figured. He's such a boy scout. I hurry in the elevator and see my reflection smiling back at me. I haven't seen that in so long. But I was able to sit in a car while it was raining today. That's good. That's something to smile about.