excuse all mistakes.
All day I had been in a mood. I was beyond horny and I just my hands weren't doing me any good. I hadn't thought about using any toys and Ash said they came in handy but was it as good as dick? Like I really just wanted some dick. But I am not going back to my ex for dick so...
Sighing, I got out the bed and made it up. With me being in a mood I haven't done anything but lay in the bed either binge watching shows or playing Episodes, Papa's Freezeria, and Wordscapes.
I slowly walked out the room and went into my painting room. I immediately connected my phone to the speaker and shuffled my playlist. Jukai by Jhené Aiko decided to play and it made me feel at peace. I loved this song.
I got everything that I needed together before sitting down on the stool. I didn't know exactly what I was painting so I'll probably just end up freestyling. And that's what I ended up doing for the next hour or so until I got hungry.
That's when I decided to grab my phone to go on Doordash. I wanted ChickFilA but when I clicked on it, it said it was closed. I always wanted ChickFilA on a Sunday. Hated that shit. Instead I'd just get Mcdonald's, 10 piece Nugget meal with a Oreo McFlurry and 3 cookies. Them cookies be hitting on something.
While I waited for my food I decided to call Ash. Every since she took me out for my birthday, her and I had been talking frequently. Thankfully she didn't give off any weird vibes but I feel like I needed to still keep my guard up.
"Hey frienddddd!" She yelled into the phone and showed Val.
"Hey, tt. You look pretty where you going?"
Outta nowhere I got quiet realizing that if I didn't have a miscarriage, my baby would be born as of now. I felt a wave of sadness come along.
"What's wrong?" Val asked.
"Hold on Val." Ash got up to go somewhere. "What's wrong? Are you bipolar?"
"Shit, I might be. But I-I don't know Ash, I was just doing so good."
"So, what's wrong?"
"If I didn't have a miscarriage my baby would've been born. I was just doing good with not crying and stuff."
"Crying about something like that is different. You had a miscarriage, you lost your baby. It is perfectly fine to cry about that. You hear me? Since when you felt like you couldn't cry about something traumatizing?"
"I be feeling like I cry too much. Oh my gosh especially when I was pregnant. I cried about the most smallest things. Girl I was emotional as hell and dramatic. I don't really miss it, but being that if I would've never lost my baby I would be in the hospital pushing the baby out."
"But honestly I just started to think that God knew I wasn't ready. Like yeah I was financially stable and stuff like that, but as far as being mentally and emotionally stable? I wasn't. When I think of the situation like that it feels better. How was your pregnancy like?"
"I was just like you. I was emotional, always crying about the smallest things. I craved the most weirdest foods, and oh my gosh that morning sickness. I definitely don't want that ever again." She shook her head laughing. "Oh, and I always felt alone. Even though I had Karson he couldn't always be around. He had to go to work this and that. My parent's they always busy. I just didn't have anybody I could sit with half of the time."
"See I felt alone too. It's really times like this when I wish I had my twin brother. Just imagining what it'd be like really got me wanting to cry again."
"I can tell his death affected you a lot."
"It really did. Lim and I had an inseparable bond, we were always together. He was annoying as hell at times but no matter what I still loved my brother. Gosh I miss him so much."
"Does he visit your dreams like he does Karson's?"
"Yeah and what's crazy is that every time he would visit my dreams, he'd warn me about who I'm hanging around with. The first he said it I was just so confused like huh, but that second time? He started spilling out the names. He mentioned everybody I hung around."
"Even Prada?"
"Yes so I started thinking like what did Prada do. Like he had to do something if Lim mentioned his name. But it's whatever and then when Lim visited my dream again, he was saying that he's proud of me for letting everybody go. Glad he's looking out for me. Does Karson tell you anything about his dreams?"
"No, but I do be worried about him. Sometimes he wakes up crying and he'll be nonchalant the whole day. You didn't eat?"
"My food... I forgot I doordashed something." I went to go check on my food. It was getting picked up and would be here around 6:56PM. "But no, I been laid up in bed horny as I could be."
"I told you to buy some toys."
"Ion know sis. Ian never used toys, and my fingers don't be doing it for me."
"Well Ion know what to tell you. Unless—"
"Girl, no." I laughed walking out the painting room to see why Adore was barking. She only barked when someone was at my door and when I checked to see if it was my food it wasn't. So I looked out the peephole and spotted Prada with flowers.
He looked so depressed and in a need of a hug but oh well. I waited till he left like actually pulled off which I seen out the window to go pick up the flowers along with the note card attached to it.
I sat the flowers down at the table and looked at the card. Deciding on whether or not I wanted to read it.
"I'll call you back, Ash." I hung up and sat down on the couch. Adore and Nugget laid on my lap and I use my left hand that was free to take turns petting them.
It's been like what 4 months? I miss yo ass bruh. I'm really tryna stay away from you but a nigga really been missing you. I hope you doing alright and I hope you takin care of Adore and Nugget. But na fr I think we should talk. Feel like we left off on bad terms and I think us talking will make things better. Shit whenever you want, you know where I be at just pull up. I love you
Prada and I didn't have anything to talk about. We said all we had to say 4 months ago and that was the end of it.
I got up to throw the note in the trash and this time when Adore barked I knew it was my food. I opened the door to be faced with Prada. Could've sworn this nigga left.
He smashed his lips onto mine and easily made his way inside. As horny as I was, I also knew not to fall back into whatever this was he thought he had planned.
"...Prada." I stepped away. "You gotta go. There's nothing for us to talk about. What you thought if you popped up again, kissed on me that I'd change my mind?"
"Milan, stop that shit bruh. Ion like how you acting bruh. A nigga sorry. I done apologized as many times as I fucking could. I apologize we lost the baby. I shouldn't have left you alone or made you stress yourself out."
"Just stop apologizing, Prada. I don't want it for real. I accept your apology, but I'm not taking you back. Are you slow or something? If I was considering on taking you back I would've popped up on you already or unblocked you."
"You really don't see yourself with me?" He asked sitting onna couch before taking his gun out and sitting it on his lap.
"No, I don't. You need to get out." I said. Not gone lie a bitch was scared like fuck he had his gun out for? Oh my gosh this nigga finna kill me if Ion take him back. Maybe this what Lim was talking about. This nigga have mental issues or something. "Get out."
"Youn want me?"
"No."
"Milan Ian never did nothing but love yo' ass. When you needed somebody I was there comforting you, telling you everything would be okay. The only thing I can say that I did wrong was leaving you while you was pregnant, but it was 'cause you acted like you couldn't communicate bruh. But you know what... alright." He chuckled to see if he had bullets in his gun.
While he did that I texted Karson to tell him to call 911 and send them this way.
"Can you just go? Why can't you accept the fact that we can't be together? We were getting toxic. No one wants to be in a toxic relationship plus I needed to work on myself anyways. I had too much going on. You're being so crazy right now."
"You wanna know something?" He stood up coming closer to me. "Duke ain't kill your brother, I did. Let me tell you why I did it. Nigga was talking shit during a fucking robbery, what you think was gone happen? We was tryna get the bread and dip. Nigga was slowing shit down for us so I shot his ass. Duke was the one going back and forth with him."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Doesn't make sense. 'Cause honestly it seems like Duke always been the one to fuck things up. So, Duke did it and you were the one arguing with him. I know the real like nigga get the fuck out."
"Why you think Duke dead? I couldn't have you finding out about the shit. Of course Talik gone have a nigga back, that's my nigga."
"Prada get out." I said. I didn't know whether to believe this nigga or not, but it was really disgusting. I had sex with this nigga, kissed on him, and oh my gosh. "GET OUT!"
"Fuck is you yelling for?"
"Get out, please."
He chuckled and turned around to open the door. "Woah, fuck you doing?"
I went to see what he was talking about and seen Honor standing with my food. This nigga was already being crazy as fuck so wasn't no telling if he thought Honor and I were messing around or something. When it wasn't that, he just so happened to be my doordasher.
"Dropping her food off." Honor blinked coming inside. I could tell he felt the thick tension and he looked at me. "You alright?"
"Why you always checking on her nigga? Y'all fucking or something? That's why you can't take me back and shit? 'Cause you fucking onnis nigga?"
"Yo' ahh trippin', you ain't took yo' medication?"
This nigga was on medication? Oh my gosh.
"Get him out." I mouthed to Honor.
"Nigga get yo' ass out. If I gotta go to jail again so be it but yo' ahh doing it. You innis girl crib walking around with a gun and shit and yeen take yo medication." Honor put the food down and snatched the gun from Prada.
"You fucking this nigga?" Prada turned around to face me.
"I'm not doing this."
"Fuck going on?" Karson asked walking inside. I told this ugly fucker to call the police. I didn't need anything happening to him if something was to go down. "What y'all doing in my sister apartment? Get the hell out. 'Cause Ion mind going to jail about that one."
"You better hide." Prada stated and Karson punched him in his face like it was loud as hell. Think he broke something. In the process of them fighting, they broke a lot of the things in the living room.
"Nigga watch who the fuck you threatening. Ion play 'bout my sister and I told yo' ass that when we was sitting outside talking. Allis 'cause of what? Let me guess 'cause she won't take you back? Man get the hell out her crib fa' I shoot yo' ahh." Karson backed away. "Got yo' ahh leakin'. I advice you get this nigga out my sister crib bruh."
●●
Honor Asean Peterson
"Why yeen been taking yo' medication?"
"I stopped taking them 2 months ago." Prada shrugged passing the blunt to me.
"You fucked up bruh. Knowing you was the killer of her brother and to sit around and fucking lie... nigga fuck is wrong witchu? From the jump you shoulda told her what was up and left her alone. Yet you lied to her 'cause what? Yeen wanna be alone. That ain't right bruh. Watchu popped up at her crib fa'?"
"A nigga always leave flowers and a card at her door and leave. Only this time I felt the need to go back and when I seen her I kissed on her thinking like I'd get her back or some shit." He shrugged. "It ain't work and I just started going crazy 'cause hell you mean we don't needa be together? And she had me fucked up, and I was finna off ha'. If I can't have her nobody can."
"Man, what? Yo' ahh needa go to rehab. You wrong as hell bruh. Glad she left you alone and stood on her ground. Go get checked into a rehabilitation. That girl would've been so better off without you."
"She'll be better with you?"
"Hell you mean?" I furrowed my brows. Prada was calmed down since he took his medication. That's the only reason we was having this conversation.
"Nigga Ian dumb. I see the way you be looking at her. You be concerned and shit."
"Who wouldn't be concerned?"
"You know what I mean bruh. Ion want nobody have her, but I guess I gotta let her go for real this time. You think I need help?"
"I know you need help. You done traumatized this girl bruh. You lied on multiple occasions and said yeen kill this girl brother blamed it on Duke allat. You laid up in her apartment, kissed her, had sex with her bruh. Man you ain't right."
He ain't say anything. We were parked in front of his house just smoking.
I needed to go ghost again. Being around this negative shit ain't it. Hanging around with these psychotic ass niggas wasn't it. Ian saying I'm perfect 'cause I definitely been to jail and rehab, but tryna kill folks for dumb ass reasons and shit.. nah. Ian neva killed nobody before. It wasn't in me 'cause just knowing I killed somebody ain't sit right with me.
"I'ma go get help."
I just nodded unlocking the doors and watched as he got out. I shook my head pulling off while deciding to listen to Heartless by Huncho.
I drove around listening to music for a good 30 minutes until I decided to pull up at Milan's spot. She probably wasn't even here but oh well. I went to her door number and knocked. After waiting like 5 minutes, I was 'bout to walk away till she answered looking like she been crying.
Can't blame her.
"...yeah?"
"Guess I came by to see if you was straight."
"I feel like you had something to do with this Honor. How can you just show up."
"I understand yo' situation but I been doordashing for a good minute and I do lyft. Shit, I can show you how long I been doing this shit. It's crazy how I just so happened to get your food right? But I showed up and was able to help out a bit."
"He takes medicine for what?"
"Ion know allat, I just know he take medicine. He said he stopped taking it 2 months ago."
"And what you came here to talk to me after you just had a talk with him? I'm good. I don't need you to ask me if I'm okay or any questions relating to what happened. Ion know who to trust 'cause everybody I been around has been weird as fuck. I thought I had somebody but no. He was my brothers killer. I was laid up with this nigga, had a baby by him, and everything. He lied in my face plethora of times saying he ain't kill my brother and he did. I even asked Talik about it and he lied too talm 'bout Prada don't lie and ahit like that. I thought everything was good, I'm thinking I'm about to get my life together yadda yadda yadda, and here he comes. I just need to get the fuck away from everybody. Start my life somewhere else 'cause this isn't cutting it." She broke down in tears.
Ian really wanna stand here and watch her break down but Ion think she wanted me near her. It's really fucked up 'cause I wasn't even onnat type of timing but she wouldn't know. 'Cause like she said everybody done did her wrong and she wouldn't know who to trust.
"I just wish I had somebody who I could trust. Somebody who isn't weird. Like what did I do to deserve this? And Ion even know why you still here... I don't have time for Talia."
Talia and I had broke up even before Milan had her miscarriage. It was just cause she wasn't ready. According to her, she wasn't over Duke and shit. Which I shoulda known but it was really like this nigga beat on you, embarrassed you allat, and you still had feelings and shit. Ion know it ain't make sense to me.
"Let me just be here for you." I inched closer to where she was. I hugged her and she eventually hugged back letting out everything. I silently prayed for her and we stayed like this for awhile. "Let me get yo' number."
"...Honor, I-I can't."
"It ain't onnat type of timing but to just make sure you straight bruh. Ian looking to be inna relationship witchu or nothing, but a nigga just wanna be here for you to make sure you alright. It's gone take you awhile to actually believe that Ian onnat typa timing since again everybody done did you wrong."
a/n;
book 2? 👀
ionk i jus feel like im dragging it atp but anyways was yall expecting this to happen?
prada being the killer? y'all do know that means zahara was right all along.
this chapter was ass, ik ik.
well since im ending this lets do a quiz.
1. why did monique blame milan for salim's death?
2. who took milan home when she was drunk as fuck?
3. why did zahara and milan fall out the first time?
4. who was sienna? (i feel like alot of yall might not know who she is but she's definitely mentioned in the story)
5. who was talik's daughter and why did she die?
6. why did talik and tori call it quits?
7. why did ace kill himself?
8. who did prada and milan get first, adore or nugget?
alright, i hope yall enjoyed it here & i'll publish the other story in 3 - 5 business days.