" ʜᴏʟᴅ ꜰᴀꜱᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍꜱ, ꜰᴏʀ ɪꜰ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍꜱ ᴅɪᴇ, ʟɪꜰᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ-ᴡɪɴɢᴇᴅ ʙɪʀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ꜰʟʏ. "
- Langston Hughes
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~~~~~~~~~
" Honestly, I feel like I'll get a good response!" Ruby said, beaming with positivity as she showcases to her friends her hope-filled eyes. " I didn't meet the application requirements last time, and I've been waiting two years for this audition!"
It was a long and painful wait for Hoshino Ruby. She recalls the deep sadness she felt when she first learned that applying to become an idol isn't a straight process, there were documents that were needed, and a certain age requirement to boot! It took a while to procure all the necessary requirements for the application, those two years really tested her patience, but now it should pay off....
" I'm sure you'll get it." Her friend supports, " You're cute, plus you're a good dancer." She elaborates, causing Ruby's heart to flutter.
" Aw, thank you--"
" It totally makes up for your shortcoming in singing too!" She adds.
" Yes, yes..." Ruby was nodding her head...
" Wait....' shortcoming ' ?" She blinked in confusion.
" I agree, if anyone has enough appeal to make up for her so-so singing, then it's definitely Ruby." Her other friend chimed.
So-so singing?! Ruby was flustered, and not in a good way. Shaking her head, she puffs her cheeks offended and releases a short ' hmph' while crossing her arms.
" Anyway, I'll definitely succeed with this idol audition!" She huffed before smiling confidently to the sky beyond the classroom window.
A lone thought lingers, I'll become a top idol just like mom was! She believes.
Her friends smirk, amused at her confidence. It's not like they didn't have faith in her, but it was much more fun to tease her since she makes the most, in their words, ' adowable ' expressions.
~~~~~~~~~
Ruby was currently sipping on a milk drink for calcium as she flipped through the idol magazine. It showcased a lot of popular ones today, and also rising stars, she was smiling to herself as the thought about becoming one of them entices her heart. The image of Ai floats in her mind and she clenches a fist, saying to herself.
" I'm gonna be like Mama--"
A notebook slaps her on the head.
" Ouch! " She immediately recoils, not in pain but from shock.
" Talking about your dreams is fine, but high school entrance exams are coming up." Recognizing that voice, she immediately pouts at the person who dared smack her pretty head with his study notebook.
But then she smirks, pushing away his notebook and waving her hand dismissively as she smugly says, " You don't get it, Aqua."
He looks at her with a raised brow.
" I am gonna be an idol, you hear?" She laughs maniacally. "High schools with performing arts departments only focus on the interview. They only look in academic passing ability. if I become an idol, I won't need to study for entrance exams." She winks. " And just like that-- I hit two birds with one stone!"
" Don't gamble your life on that little factoid." Aqua doesn't hesitate to cut her down a peg. Her joy halts as she pouts and glances at him with the side-eye.
" You know, I'm fine if you dream of being an idol. But don't go having illusions about being an idol." He sighs.
" Essentially, their salary is low. They retire before they reach 30. And their daily lives are under constant scrutiny by their fans." He decides to remind her of the reality again. " Only a small percentage survive in the industry after graduating, and by the end most of them just pick up another line of work."
" There are very few jobs where the cost is disproportionate to the return."
" What's your point?" Ruby discerned through his act, narrowing her eyes at him.
" Isn't life about doing what you want with it? " She challenged. " You'll never do a thing if all you worry about is cost and return." She flared.
" Some people go their whole lives unable to really do anything, you know?"
As she said that, she felt her heart pang a little from the memory. Her words held extra weight because she was exactly that person in her past life. Unable to do anything she wanted to do. Always limited by her disability. She didn't care if Aqua knew her circumstance or not, nor does it matter if she tells him-- but she doesn't want Aqua to control her life and decisions. He should know that he has no right to.
" That's not for me." Not anymore, she thinks. Staring at her older brother with eyes that implied she wasn't going to back down.
Aqua eventually sighs.
" Do as you like," He turns around. "I'm heading to the director's place."
Ruby's eyes followed Aqua's figure, her face forming a frown upon seeing how much her brother had changed since the death of their mother. Always having a gloomy face, and never seems to have fun with life. She could relate the former to another person that's close to them, but unlike that certain person, it seemed like Aqua was losing every reason to smile or be optimistic come recent times. He'd closed himself off, keeping his doings to himself, and nobody really knows what he's up to.
Ruby would ask him what he's been doing at the director's place, but he always kept his answers vague or completely dismisses her questions at once. She just hopes he wasn't up to anything sketchy.
Plenty other things changed since then too,
Ichigo, the former CEO of Strawberry productions suddenly cut off all contact with them, after which Miyako took over the position for the time being.
B-Komachi also disbanded after losing their star, Hoshino Ai, and with that Strawberry Productions no longer holds an idol department whatsoever for the last two years. The business shifted to managing internet personalities instead.
And another drastic change....in a similar manner to Aqua, but the opposite...
~~~~~~~
" I'm home..." A tall body walks through the door, struggling to fight back a visible yawn.
" Beryl." Ruby perks up, standing up and walking over towards him. " You look tired." She said, amused.
" 'Cause I am." He groggily answers. " Where's Miyako-san and Aqua?" He asked, his golden browns scouring the room for their presence after not sensing any.
" Miyako-san is currently at the office, she'll come back home later than usual." Ruby informs, " As for Aqua? Well, you already know..." She said, shrugging.
" Director's place?" He asked.
" Director's place." She confirms.
" Figures." He drops his bag and lets his body sink into the comfortable couch.
" How was your application to that cafe Miyako-san recommended to you?" Ruby asked, a bit curious.
" It went well." He pauses before his face visibly droops. " Too well, even."
" Eh?" Ruby tilts her head, confused. " Is something wrong about that?"
" Rather not talk about it..." He doesn't wish to go into detail how hectic the day was with the female customers he instantly attracted in a matter of a few hours since he began work. He skipped school so he could get a proper handle on the job, but thinking back on it now, he kinda wished he'd stayed in school instead.
" And you? You applied to that idol agency, right?" He cranks his head to her, " How'd that go?"
Ruby smiles. " I should be receiving a call in a few days regarding my acceptance or not. But I'm confident I'll make the cut!" She said, bumping her fist to her chest.
" I'd be genuinely suprised if they actually accepted a gorilla like you." He hums. " Sign of the times by then, I guess--"
She hits his face with a pillow.
" Drop dead!"
~~~~~~~
[ A few days later...]
It was currently night time again, a Saturday night. Ruby was scrolling through her feeds, Miyako was busy sorting through important files in her laptop and making edited formats, while Beryl lied on the couch reading a book in silence. And as usual, Aqua was once again at the director's place, where he spends most of his free time since becoming the old man's apprentice.
Besides the sound of Beryl's page flipping and Miyako's audible mechanical typing. The atmosphere remained in peaceful silence....
Until Ruby decided to throw a crack at it.
" Hey, how about putting together another idol group?" Ruby nonchalantly asked as she ate a chip.
Beryl could see through his sister's disguise, she may have phrased it as a throwaway suggestion, but he knew her well enough that she was genuinely asking about it too.
" Don't say that so lightly." Miyako sighs, deciding to take a break and leaning back on her recliner seat, closing her eyes for a moment. " I'd like to if I could, you know?" She honestly answered.
Ruby was pleasantly suprised to hear that from her, but she didn't show too much of it. Still, her eyes shifted to Miyako as she continued eating her non-fat chips.
" The dream that Ai showed us wasn't an experience I can easily forget...." Miyako muses, " Even if it didn't completely succeed....she was still close. And that's what mattered."
fwip! Beryl flips to the next page.
" But before you say anything else, I'd like to make clear of a fact; that Ai was a special talent. A winning lottery." Miyako clarifies, " The longer I do this job, the more I realize that, and the more I believe miracles don't happen twice."
The older woman meets Ruby's gaze.
" The reality is that things don't always go smoothly. Either you're lucky or not, that's how life goes." She says before releasing a deep sigh. " Besides..."
" Besides what?" Ruby asked.
Miyako's eyes visibly widened in realization, she quickly scrapped it away by averting back to the screen as she picked back up her tone. " It's nothing..." She said.
fwip! Beryl flips to the next page.
" Anyways, aren't you supposed to be expecting a call about the results of your audition soon?" She changed the topic. " If you pass, then the regulation states that you should be affiliated with them, right?"
Ruby frowns upon hearing the last part, feeling a bit melancholic about that part of the deal. She looks back to her phone anxiously, as much as she wanted to achieve her dream....she...
" They're a better-established agency than we ever were, no?" Miyako says.
" R...Right..." Ruby awkwardly said. " I guess that's true..."
She felt like she was betraying Strawberry Productions by doing so...
Her mother's alma mater...
Fwips! Beryl flips to the next page.
Suddenly, Ruby's phone begins to ring.
" Speak of the devil..." Miyako points out as Ruby nearly stumbles forward trying to answer the call as soon as possible. After grabbing her phone she quickly ran a short distance to the room, trying to hold back her excitement and calming down her nerves before answering the call.
" H-Hello?" She answers.
" Is this Hoshino Ruby speaking?"
"Yes, Hoshino here! " She closed her eyes.
Fwip! Beryl flips to the next page.
" Okay...."
Fwip! Beryl flips to the next page.
" Okay!"
Fwip! To the next one.
Ruby's eyes widened, losing its glimmer as the secretary's next words come to play.
" O..Okay, I see..." Her shoulders drop lower. " Thank you for the time..."
" Well then, we will be awaiting your application next time around." The secretary said their final words before ending the call completely.
It took a while for Ruby to take the phone off her ear, she was silent. Still like a stone figure. Miyako stared at her back in worry.
" Ruby..." She calls out to her.
Ruby hugged the phone to her chest as she tried to bite back the sobs. But the tears failed to hide itself as it quickly seeped out from her jewel-like eyes like running water. Her face was flushed red, disappointment and anger for herself, she believes that she just wasn't enough to have been accepted. She was so confident...and...
" I...I didn't make it..." Her tone was heartbreaking to hear.
Warm arms slowly enveloped her finger as she felt herself being pulled back into a soft hug by Miyako. The older woman nuzzled her head behind Ruby's hair, releasing a breath before comforting her. Not with pretty words, but the truth.
" That's reality for you..." She said it, not demeaning Ruby's efforts and dream, but showing her the point she was trying to make. " There are lots of politics involved, and you can't ever expect your ability to be judged fairly."
" Not everyone can have it go as well as it did for Ai." She hugged Ruby even closer. " But you did your best...."
Beryl closes his book, and sits up. He stretches his arms a bit before setting his gaze on the sobbing Ruby. The boy thinks MIyako said the right words to appeal Ruby, but as a person who made a promise to his sister. She must know this.
" Ruby," He stands up and walks over to her. " I'm guessing things really didn't work out as smoothly as you hoped..."
" B...Beryl..." Her eyes turn to him, Beryl reaches out to wipe away her tears. Clicking his tongue inside of his mouth, he doesn't like seeing his sister's light flickering like this, he doesn't like the tears that roll down her face, at least those ones of sadness.
" Your dream to become an idol..." He softly said. " It's not an easy road."
She nods slowly, accepting that fact. Beryl sighs before tucking away a few strands that have strayed onto his sister's teary mess.
"...Are you giving up?" He asked her, tentatively.
" I...." Beryl sees the hesitation in her eyes, he can hear it in her tone. " I don't...want to give up..." So she says, but her voice held uncertainty.
She continued to sob, and Beryl retracts his hands as she tried to cover her mouth, trying to shove her sobs back down but failing to. So all she could do was apologize for crying. She may not have said it, but Beryl can tell her ambition felts its first wavering. She feels discouraged to continue, and as much as she wants to try again, this has always been one of Ruby's shortcomings. Once she loses confidence in herself, she returns to this form of herself that wants to " run away" from it all. He recalls that day vividly back when they were still in preschool.
........
And just like back then....he'll...
" When you have a dream you really can't let go of, you trust yourself to pursue them." Beryl suddenly said.
Ruby raises her head to look at him, sniffling away. But paying attention.
" But you've always got to remember; That real dreams take hard work, they take patience, and sometimes you've gotta dig down very deep." His tone was gentle but stern. " Unless you're willing to do that much, I don't see you achieving your dreams anytime soon."
"...." Ruby averts her eyes.
Beryl tilts her head back to face him.
" Ruby...." He grips her shoulders with gentle hands as he stares at her.
" Don't let regret take the place of your dreams."
" Try again, it's okay to fail." He tells her, " You keep trying until you can get it right. Nothing will come easy for you, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. I know you can do it."
Unlike Ai, who brimmed with unrivaled confidence, Ruby had constant anxiety dwelling within the depths of her heart. She masks it all with the same amount of confidence and optimism that Ai radiated, but when faced with an obstacle such as right now, everything gets reduced. She gets heartbroken. She gets all too reminded of her past when the result was similar, giving your best and still failing.
And honestly....she wanted to run away. Again.
Have some time for herself. Maybe that would help. That's how it always went back then.
But seeing the look in Beryl's eyes kept her grounded. He was here. He was holding her when she wanted to just let herself fall, he was here, telling her that it was okay to feel this way. He'll be here to bring her back in reality. She tries to calm herself, closing her eyes, and letting out short breaths.
" Ruby?" She could hear Miyako sounding worried for her.
"..."
Take a deep breath, Ruby....
1....
2....
3....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Wah!" She slips after trying to perform the next move, and this time she wasn't ready to brace herself since it happened all too sudden.
She closed her eyes shut, ready to feel the sharp impact her back would make against the floor, but instead she felt gentle hands sustaining her weight.
" Whoa! Mama's got ya!" A voice breaks through.
Those same hands gently sat Ruby on the ground, the little girl slowly begins to realize and opens her eyes to meet the gaze of her mother.
" Are you okay?" She asked.
" I'm fine....I just slipped." Ruby smiles. " Thank you, Mama."
Ai smiles, patting her daughter's head.
" To prevent that from happening again, take a break, and breathe. Like this!" She points to herself, demonstrating as she slowly inhales and exhales.
" 1..." She starts.
Ruby closes her eyes and does the same.
" 2..." she follows.
" 3...." They both said.
A relieving exhale escapes both their lips. Opening their eyes at the same time, Ai shoots the question.
" Are you okay now?"
" Mhm!"
Ruby gets back up and readies herself to dance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Mhm....." Ruby says after reliving that memory.
" I'll try again..." Feeling a spark within her being, she patted her cheeks, blinking away the last bit of wetness from her eyes. " I'll definitely try again!"
" Ruby..." Miyako was suprised when Ruby suddenly turned to face her with a rejuvenated smile.
" I'll beat those stupid politics and become an idol. I won't give up, Miyako-san." She says.
Miyako wondered how she could say that when she was just crying a short while ago. The older woman thought that Ruby would waver, and be affected from this. But here she is, brimming with positivity once more, and if only for a bit-- shining just like Ai did.
MIyako's eyes went towards Beryl, the latter wearing a soft smile that Ruby didn't see. That's when it all clicked in the woman's head.
Unlike Aqua....
Beryl intends to support her.
For some reason, knowing that at least one of the brothers support their sister. It calmed Miyako's worries, it seems like she wasn't truly alone in that regard. She wants Ruby to succeed too, and she knows the girl's got what it takes to do just that. But she can't go in with naivety and with ideals alone....she needed to realize the reality. And now that she does....
Miyako can't help but be infected by her daughter's beautiful smile.
" I see." The woman said, softly. Ruby nods before turning to face the brother who advised her.
Miyako wanted to chuckle when she noticed how Beryl quickly wiped away the smile he had on his face when Ruby faced him. He really doesn't intend to give her the satisfaction, does he?
" Thank you." She finds herself saying, " I needed that."
Beryl nods before taking a few steps back, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
" It's no problem. No little brother can sit right with himself after seeing tears rushing out of their older sister's eyes." He said with mischief in his eyes.
" Aww, that's--" Ruby was about to fall for his lie until--
" Makes them seem more ugly than they already are."
She pauses.
. . .
" You--!" Ruby blushes in embarrassment. " Ugh! Why did I cry in front of a heartless being like you!" She whined, quickly hugging Miyako to cope. " Why did mama birth this prick of a brother!!!"
It's not a normal day without these two finding ways to bicker... Miyako thought.
" I'll run to the store and buy some ice cream. I was planning to do that earlier when I thought you were going to get accepted....but even if you didn't, it doesn't mean we still can't celebrate the fact you tried." Beryl turns around. " I'll buy you your favorite flavour. It was strawberry, right?"
" Oh shut up!" Ruby barked back at him, pointing at him with an accusing finger. " You're just taking advantage of your older sister's sadness just so you can have an excuse to buy convenience store ice cream! Miyako-san, stop him!"
" I'm too old for this..." Miyako exaggerates a tired sigh. Taking a small part in teasing the girl too.
" Oh come on!" Ruby pouts.
Beryl, who's back was turned on Ruby, smiled a bit in amusement.
" Well, I'll be back soon." Beryl says as he puts on his shoes.
" Live in the 7-Eleven for all I care!" Ruby fumes.
" Sure, sure..." Beryl responds with amusement as he left house.
~~~~~~~~~~
Aqua passes back the phone to the director's hands. " Thanks." He muttered before sitting back down on the floor and looking through some messy scripts.
Director Gotanda's eyes followed the boy's back, he takes a quick puff from his cigarette before exhaling and looking at his own copy of the manuscript.
" The fact you can fool your own twin sister shows you've got acting chops." He comments. " What're you gonna do if she gets a call from them for real?" He asked, curiously.
" I sent them a short text from Ruby's phone saying she was withdrawing. And then blocked their number with her settings." The boy answered without remorse.
"....I see." Gotanda was impressed that he was that prepared....though that raised the question...
" Why're you going to such lengths to crush your sister's dreams? She's quite a beauty, you know? I'm sure she could actually make it." He said.
" I don't need to spell it out." Aqua says, " I'm not going to let her become an idol."
He then tilts his head to meet the director's eyes, a blackness forming within the depths of his aqua-coloured orbs. As he speaks with a burning resolve.
" I won't let her tread in Ai's steps."
Gotanda sighs. " You really are overprotective to a fault..." Was all he had to say.
~~~~~~~~
Aqua made it clear that he doesn't intend to let Ruby become an idol.
He'll do any means necessary to make sure of that.
Bidding his goodbyes, he departed from the director's home, and headed to his own. His mind constantly returned to Ruby. He hopes hope that she's finally considered his words from earlier and select a different path, after having been " rejected " by the idol association. It might've been ruthless of him to dictate her path of life, but he couldn't care less so long as she was safe from the harm and trauma the entertainment business could give her.
Besides Ruby, the dark thoughts that swirl in Aqua's head are scenarios of finding the main culprit behind their mother's murder. All he needs is a sample of hair to confirm any one he suspects, and then he'll happily indulge himself with killing that person with his own hands. He'd already long forgotten the ideals he had when he was a doctor-- throwing it all away --for the sake of vengeance. Nothing else would fuel his heart more than to see that person in pain, slowly tasting the suffering Ai went through, before eventually letting them meet the inevitable end he will provide for them.
And he wasn't alone in thinking that way...
" Aqua."
Speak of the devil...
The older blonde pauses in his footsteps, raising his head to meet the eyes of his much taller younger brother. He was holding a convenience store plastic bag on his left hand.
" Beryl," He greets. " Buying ice cream again, I see?"
" Well, yes." Beryl takes a pause before he continues, " It was supposed to be in celebration of Ruby's accepted application....but she got rejected." He explained.
" Oh. That's a pity." Aqua feigns. " How did she take it?" He asked.
" The best she could." Beryl leaves it at that, " You know how she is."
So she cried... Aqua understood. He didn't mind that outcome at all, how she reacted only depended on if she planned to continue or not. It's looking like he won't have to do any more interferences now. That's good.
" Well, I should go talk to her." Aqua slowly brushed past him. " We should both be there to comfort her--"
" Stop interfering in her life."
" Pardon?"
Aqua turned around to see Beryl staring right at him with a calm disposition.
" Only the blind wouldn't be able to see Ruby's potential," Beryl speaks up, " Most idol managements would've gladly taken her under their wing."
" What are you trying to say here?" Aqua asked.
" I'm saying you're still trying to be an obstacle against her dream." Beryl states.
............
........
.....
Aqua sighs. " You can't be serious..." He looks at him with disappointment. " Beryl, don't tell me that what I'm doing is wrong. I'm trying to make sure she doesn't end up like Ai."
Beryl was silent.
" Besides," Aqua wants to remind him. " You and I have a greater mission at play here. We went over this, we agreed to find that damned murderer. And doing so, while keeping Ruby safe. So why are you--"
" I agreed on keeping her safe," Beryl doesn't deny. " But I didn't agree on stopping her dream."
Aqua sighs. " Right," he clicks his tongue. " That's the only thing we could never agree on..." he says, a bit bitter in tone.
" So is it right for me to assume that you may have done something that went against my efforts just now?" Aqua asked.
" No. I just sped up the process," Beryl answers. " She was going to recover anyway." And he wasn't lying. He didn't need to do anything, except give her back some bit of confidence early on. Or rather..... to pay back his endless debt to her. She was there for him, and he will be there for her in return.
"...."
" Aqua, maybe you should just--"
" Don't." Aqua's tone was serious. " I'm not changing my mind on this."
" Aqua, surely you already know that there are other means to keep Ruby safe while allowing her to become an idol." Beryl said.
Aqua goes silent at that, confirming Beryl's thoughts.
" Well, if that's what you really want to do. Then I'll leave it be." Beryl walks past him. " Let's go home-- or else the ice cream will melt and I'd get an earful from our sister--"
" Wait."
The taller boy felt the hand of his older brother, grabbing him by the arm, and so he stops to glance at him.
" Will you get in my way?" Aqua questioned.
It doesn't take a second for Beryl to answer.
" If I have to, then I will."
" You're putting her at risk." Aqua grits, " If we allow her to become an idol flooded by her ideals. It's only a matter of time before she'd eventually end up like Ai--"
" She won't." Beryl says with certainty.
" And how are you going to be sure of that." Aqua asked.
" Well, firstly, she has us." He points to Aqua and himself. " As her brothers, we won't let that happen."
" And lastly.... it's because we're her brothers. That we won't let the same thing happen twice."
Aqua's eyes widened in suprise, he slowly lets go of Beryl's arm and stares at him silently, deep in thought. He sensed utmost sincerity in his words, it came from the heart, and he couldn't utter a response to it. The two of them may be standing on opposite sides on how Ruby's life should be dictated, but one thing remained constant; That they'd keep her safe.
And for Beryl...
He already lost his mother.
He won't lose his sister too.
~~~ End ~~~
First official chapter is done!
Bringing back that good ol' classic Ruby and Beryl banter. And also having him and Aqua standing on opposite sides of the problem, with the only constant in the equation being that they both care for Ruby.
It's a battle that won't last for long once other elements are introduced here...
Things will start to shift. It'll start out subtle ( maybe ) before it just escalates to 100 ( maybe ) so be prepared!
See you in the next chapter~