Loki finishes what little bit of coffee remains in his borrowed Captain America mug, then rests it back on the coffee table (an aptly named object, he must admit) with a sigh. Would it be weird to make another cup of coffee? He's already had... three? Four, maybe? He hasn't really been counting.
Steve must misread his sigh, because he says, "If you don't like these movies, we don't have to watch them."
"Oh, no, the movies are fine," Loki says. "I'm enjoying them."
"Are you sure?" Steve asks skeptically. "'I know we've been watching for a while. If you're getting bored..."
Loki looks over at him. "Are you getting bored?" Because if Steve's getting bored, then he's more than happy to stop watching them. The Lord of the Rings movies are good, but not necessarily the type of thing he wants to binge all at once.
Steve shrugs. "I don't care. I'm good to take a break; I'm good to keep watching. Up to you."
Well, that's no help. Loki looks at his mug thoughtfully. Maybe they could call it quits and grab a snack, and he could use that as an excuse to make another cup of coffee. But there's always the possibility that the other Avengers are going to be in the kitchen, and he's not sure he can handle talking to anybody else right now.
So Loki shakes his head. "I think we should at least finish the movie. How long is left?"
"Uh..." Steve pauses the movie to check. "Almost two hours."
Loki scoffs. "And we've already been watching for an hour?"
"I think the other two were three hours, too," Steve tells him. "So if you don't want to watch nine hours of the same storyline in a row, we could..." He shrugs. "I don't know. We could get lunch."
"Is it lunchtime?" Loki asks. That would explain why he's hungry. Maybe it's time for more than just a snack.
"Well, we had breakfast a movie and a half ago, so probably," Steve says. He cranes his neck to look at the clock. "It's, like, 11:30. You wanna call it quits?"
Loki hesitates. They're doubtlessly not the only people thinking about having lunch right around now, so there's a good chance he'll have to talk to the other Avengers. That's... a little intimidating. He's only just come around to spending time with Steve, and even that was really only because he didn't want to sleep alone. He's not sure he's ready to talk to the other Avengers.
But he also doesn't want to wait a few hours until everybody's done trickling in and out for lunch, so, reluctantly, he says, "I suppose we could eat."
Steve turns the TV off, and they both stand up. Loki grabs his mug off the table — and a part of him feels like he should be much more embarrassed than he is about using a mug with Captain America's shield on it in front of Captain America. Steve hasn't mentioned it, and it's certainly not the first time that Loki's used his friend's Christmas gift from Tony for himself, so he's not too worried about it. He's not giving up this perfectly sized mug just because it has Steve's logo on it.
They head out of the room together, and they choose a good time to do so. There are two figures heading their way — two figures he's very excited to see.
Loki smiles. "Mother." He picks up the pace, and as soon as she's within an arm's reach, he envelopes her in a big hug. "You're back."
Frigga hugs him, too. "Hello, darling," she murmurs. "How are you doing?"
"I've been worse," he says quietly. "I've been better, too."
Frigga rubs his back soothingly before letting him go, though one hand still rests on his shoulder even as she steps away. "Do you like your new home? Thor's told me wonderful things about it."
Loki shrugs minutely. "It's nice." And he'd elaborate more if Steve wasn't coming up behind him. He wouldn't mind too much if Thor overhead. He's been leaning on his brother a lot lately. But he'd like to keep his thoughts within the family.
Frigga's gaze flickers to Steve, and with a small smile, she remarks to her son, "You've started talking to your friends again."
Again, Loki shrugs, a little more sheepishly this time. He hasn't started talking to them again. Not really. He's seen most of them and they've exchanged a few words, but he's not really talking to any of them — except Steve, of course. He was only supposed to be a temporary exception, but that might change. It was nice to spend the night with him. He's missed this.
"I'm glad," she says. She squeezes his shoulder gently, then turns her attention to Steve as he approaches. "Captain Rogers. It's nice to see you again."
Steve slips his hands into his pockets awkwardly. "You, too."
To his brother, Thor asks, "How'd you sleep last night?"
Loki forces a smile. "Fine."
Steve raises an eyebrow, but he doesn't say anything. It's one of the many things Loki appreciates about him. He'll let Loki lie his ass off with nothing but a disapproving look in response.
Changing the subject, Loki asks his mother, "Are you hungry? We were going to eat lunch – or I can take a snack and then show you my new bedroom?"
"Oh, I've already eaten," she tells him. "But don't let me stop you from doing the same."
"Then I'll just get some ice cream," he says. That won't take too long; then he can show her his room.
"That's not much of a meal," Thor remarks.
Loki waves that off. "I'll be fine. I've eaten many ice cream meals over the last few years."
"That truly cannot be healthy," Thor says, though it's more a lighthearted remark than a genuine critique of his diet. They've both watched Volstagg shovel pounds upon pounds of meat in his mouth at once, so this ice cream lunch is far from the least healthy thing they've seen.
"If ice cream is what kills me, so be it," Loki replies.
Frigga shakes her head to herself, amused by her son's antics, as she usually is. "Now I'd like to try some of this ice cream."
Loki beams. "Oh, you must!" he says. "It's delicious. I'm not sure which flavors we have at the moment, but I'm sure you'll love at least one of them."
So, with that settled, the four of them head to the kitchen for a deliciously healthy lunch of ice cream. There are mint chocolate chip and coffee flavors, and though Loki prefers the former, he opts to give his mother a scoop of both. He'd hate to give her a flavor she doesn't like and have her write it off for good.
Thor scoops himself a bowl of ice cream, too – rather hypocritical, Loki would say, though he's sure it doesn't constitute the entirety of Thor's lunch the way it will his. Steve joins the club, too, and they all sit down at the kitchen table to eat. It does kind of defeat the purpose of only eating a snack for lunch if they're all going to sit down together anyway, but at least Loki's managed to convince his mother to try his favorite food.
"I see why you like this so much," Frigga tells her youngest son. "This is delicious."
"Isn't it?" Loki agrees. "The food in this realm is delicious. They use sugar in everything. It's wonderful."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't come to Midgard as a child," she jokes. "You would have been bouncing off the walls all day and night."
"Oh, but it would have been so worth it," Loki says. "You know what's wonderful? Cinnamon rolls. It's a pastry; it's delicious. I had one during Yule – the Midgardian version of Yule; it's some other holiday here – and it is still one of the very best things I have ever eaten in my life."
"Really?" she says, intrigued. "It was that good?"
"Mm-hmm," he hums. "And cookies, and brownies, and Midgardian cake. Ugh, it's delicious. I wish I could show you all the different foods we have on Midgard. It may well be my favorite part of living here." Asgard's food was fine. He was a prince; he was given the best of the best consistently. But even the best of Asgard's food is nothing compared to the sugary goodness of Earth's desserts.
Frigga smiles softly at that. "I'm so glad you've found something to enjoy on Midgard."
"Midgard certainly does excel when it comes to food," Loki says. He takes another spoonful of ice cream. How did he go a thousand years without ice cream? No wonder he was so miserable in Asgard.
It gets quiet for a short while as everybody enjoys their food and each other's company. Loki has to admit, it really is nice to not be alone. It's nice to have his family here. It's nice to have Steve here. And, admittedly, it's a bit of a weird combination, but he likes it. They're probably the three people in the entire Nine Realms he cares about the most, and he gets to sit here with all of them at once. He really couldn't ask for anything better.
Breaking the silence, Thor says to his brother, "Sif asked about you."
Loki cocks an eyebrow. "Oh?" He wonders why. Was she just trying to make conversation? Was it just because she knows so much of Thor's time is spent here with him, and she really only wanted to talk about Thor? Or – and this is the most likely one, he's sure – was she mocking her fallen prince, cast out and left to rot on Midgard?
"She sends you her best," Thor tells him.
Loki huffs, rolling his eyes. "Oh, I'm sure she does," he says sarcastically. Of all Thor's friends back in Asgard, Sif is the one he would least expect this from – the one he would least believe it from. They were never friends. They were reluctant acquaintances at best, forced to spend time together only because they both wanted to spend time with Thor. She doesn't care about him. She never has.
"She does," Thor insists. "She even asked if she could visit you."
"She knows perfectly well that she can't," Loki says. "Nobody from Asgard can, present company excluded. You told me that." He's pretty sure. Somebody mentioned it at some party. He was disguising himself as Sylvie so he couldn't ask about it, but that's the understanding he had.
"Actually, no," Thor says. "Not anymore."
Loki furrows his brows. "What do you mean?"
"Father's impressed with how you've handled your imprisonment," Thor says. "Mother and I talked to him last night, and he's willing to make some concessions. He'll let you have a visitor from Asgard — only one at a time, myself excluded, to start, but I'm sure that will change soon enough."
Loki frowns. Well, that's... unexpected. He'd been surprised just to hear that Odin would let him leave Avengers Tower. Then to have free roam of the yard, not to mention that he gets to see his mother — something Odin told him specifically during his sentencing that he never would? And now Odin is loosening his restrictions even more? At this rate, he'll be a free man by the end of the year. (No, he won't, but that would be fantastic if it was true.)
"So?" Thor says with an encouraging grin. "Who do you want to see first? Sif? She would love to talk to you again."
Loki's frown only deepens. "I don't want to see anybody."
Thor frowns, too. "What?"
"There's nobody in Asgard I'd want to see," Loki says. "The only people from Asgard whom I care for are here with me already." He gives both Thor and his mother a small smile. "I have everything I need right here."
Loki thinks this is a nice, heartfelt moment between himself and his family. It seems he's the only one.
"But you don't have to be alone," Thor says. "Don't you want to see our friends again?"
"No, I don't," Loki says. "Because they're not our friends. They're your friends. There's no reason to rewrite history when we can just let it rest."
"But they care about you," Thor protests. "I know things ended on poor terms, but they really do care about you. And Sif feels horrible about what happened the last time she saw you. She—"
"She shouldn't," Loki interrupts. "It was Stark who was being difficult — and for good reason; he was hunting a terrorist and Pepper was in trouble. Sif was a minor nuisance in an already tense situation. I don't begrudge her for that."
"Then why don't you want to see her?" Thor asks.
"Because I don't like her," Loki says. It really can't get much simpler than that. He doesn't like her. They don't tend to get along. He doesn't want to put up with her.
Thor presses his lips into a straight line, letting that sink in. "There's really nobody in Asgard you want to see?"
Loki shakes his head. "No, there's really not," he says. "I have all the company I could want." He has Thor; he has his mother; he has the Avengers...
Well, he has the Avengers for now. They'll be gone soon enough. He's become all too aware of that. One day, the Avengers will be gone, and he'll be here alone. He'll see Thor and Frigga when they visit, of course, but for the most part, he'll be all alone. Two visitors can't keep him occupied for four thousand years.
So Loki sighs. "Maybe one day," he says. "In a few decades, when everybody's..." He trails off. It's easier than finishing that thought. It's easier than admitting aloud once more that everyone he cares about will be dead or preoccupied with the duties of royalty.
Steve's been quiet throughout this conversation, his attention largely focused on his ice cream. But at that remark, he looks over at his friend, a sympathetic look on his face. Loki does his best to ignore it. Somehow, the sympathy makes him feel worse.
Frigga rubs his back comfortingly. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves," she says. "If you don't want to see anybody else, you don't have to. And if you change your mind, you are more than welcome to. Let's leave it at that, alright?"
Loki nods, but it doesn't make him feel much better. He hates this constant reminder that everything is going to change. He hates the constant reminder that he's going to be alone — that he always ends up alone. He hates that there may come a time when Sif's company is a relief to him.
He just hates everything about this.
Loki takes another spoonful of ice cream, then props his head up on his hand. And there goes the somewhat-fun atmosphere the day once had.
There are voices down the hall, and Loki lifts his head, straining to listen. If somebody else is coming to the kitchen, he'd like to know who it is. He can't quite tell at first; it's not until the voices are nearing the kitchen that he's able to make it out: it's Bruce.
He supposes he can't be upset about that. He's seen all of the other Avengers in the last 24 hours. It's only fair that he says 'hi' to Bruce, too. He's been too good a friend — and research partner — to not at least give him that much.
"I don't know," Bruce is saying. "This isn't my field. I'm literally making this up as I go."
"Would Stark be able to help?"
Loki tenses at the voice. He's only heard it a handful of times, but he'd recognize it anywhere. It's Wanda. Bruce is talking to Wanda. Worse than that, Bruce and Wanda are talking about involving Tony in whatever it is they're talking about. It's like Ultron all over again, except this time, the Mind Stone gets to voice its opinions. That's a terrifying thought.
Frigga notices his discomfort, and she subtly rests a hand on his leg to get his attention. "Are you alright?" she mouths silently.
Loki just nods. He'll be okay. He'll just finish his ice cream, she can finish hers, and their path will barely have to intersect with the witch's.
"I doubt it," Bruce says, oblivious to the eavesdroppers around the corner. "But we can ask. I'm sure he'd try—"
Bruce cuts himself off as he rounds the corner into the kitchen, and he blinks a few times when he sees Loki, like he can't believe his eyes. Loki raises his hand in a small wave. His deer-in-the-headlights look is almost entertaining enough that the sight of Wanda and Pietro doesn't bother him.
Almost, but not quite.
It takes Bruce a few seconds to regain his composure. "Uh... hi." He gives Loki a somewhat hesitant smile. "It, uh..." He shrugs awkwardly. "It's been a while."
"It has," Loki agrees, though he did just see him the other day. They all rode over here together.
"Are you, um..." He glances around the room. "You liking the compound so far?"
"It's alright," Loki says. He can go outside now. He has a TV in his room. He'd say he's doing pretty good. Nodding his head in the Maximoffs' direction, he asks, "What are you working on?" Something stupid, he's sure. After the mess with Ultron, he's not sure he'll ever trust anything Bruce wants to do with Tony, whether the twins are involved or not.
"Oh, that's... hard to explain," Bruce says awkwardly. "But if you want to check it out, I could always use an extra hand." With a small smile, he says, "You're the best lab partner I've got."
In spite of everything, Loki can't help but smile back. Whatever the twins have gotten him up to, he's almost scared to find out, but Bruce still wants him there. Loki's ignored him for weeks, and one of the first things Bruce does is invite him to work with him.
He got really lucky, living with heroes like these guys. They're just such good people.
He's not ready for them to die one day.
He forces himself to change the subject before he can dwell on that too long. "Have you met my mother?"
"Uh..." Bruce glances at Frigga, though the moment she meets his gaze, he looks away. "Very briefly."
Loki huffs. "I promise, she is not nearly as intimidating as her title would make her seem," he says.
"Oh, no, I'm not..." Bruce trails off awkwardly. There's no point in lying, and he must know it. He's definitely intimidated by the Queen of Asgard. Loki can't blame him, though it's certainly not necessary.
He's not sure just how brief their meeting was, so, for his mother's sake, Loki says, "That's Dr. Bruce Banner."
Frigga smiles warmly. "It's nice to formally meet you."
"You, too," Bruce says with an awkward smile. He really is just an awkward, dorky little guy. It's one of the many things Loki likes about him.
Frigga's gaze shifts to Wanda and Pietro, who have been standing silently in the doorway as the conversation's progressed. "And you must be...?"
There's a moment of awkward silence. The twins share an uncomfortable look, and Wanda answers, "I'm Wanda; that's Pietro." She sounds even more uncomfortable than Bruce does. It's oddly vindicating.
Though she doubtlessly knows who these monsters really are, she still greets them with a polite, "It's lovely to meet you. I'm Frigga."
Wanda and Pietro just smile awkwardly in response, and the former says, "We'll let you finish eating," then prepares to leave.
Much to Loki's chagrin, Frigga stops them. "Don't let us keep you from having lunch," she says. "There's room for us all."
Wanda gives her what's probably supposed to be an appreciative smile, though she doesn't seem very appreciative of it. She and Pietro share an uncomfortable look, and they follow Bruce to the stove, though it only takes one person to boil water.
After glancing at the others sitting at the table, Bruce says an awkward, "I'm making spaghetti if anyone..."
Nobody answers at first, likely waiting for someone else to do it, until finally, Steve says, "We're good, thanks."
So that's settled.
And now, they wait.
In awkward silence.
Loki takes another spoonful of ice cream. He should hurry up with this. There's no reason to prolong this unfortunately shared dining experience.
Pietro nudges Wanda and whispers in Sokovian, "Did you know that she was here?"
Wanda shakes her head wordlessly.
"I do not know if spaghetti is worth this," he mutters.
Wanda's shoulders shake with silent laughter. "I think she can understand you."
Pietro glances at Frigga, who's looking back at him with a small, amused smile on her face.
He blinks at that. "Well. This is awkward."
That gets a small laugh out of both Wanda and Frigga, and, much to Loki's chagrin, his mother doesn't seem the least bit bothered by them. He's told her about them – he's told her about the stone that courses through their veins. He hopes this is just an act; that she's only pretending to tolerate them. He's not sure he believes it. He's not sure she believes him.
Loki slouches in his seat with a scowl. This is how it always goes. His mother will take his side in private, but as soon as they're not alone, she's friends with everybody. She used to do it in Asgard when Loki would complain about the teasing Thor's friends put him through, and she's doing it now, faced with genuine monsters, terrors beyond her comprehension. He should have known. He should have known she wouldn't take him seriously.
Steve nudges Loki's shoulder with his own. "You okay?" he mouths silently.
Loki shrugs minutely. No, he's not okay with his mother laughing with the Maximoff kids, but there's not a whole lot he can do about it. At least he knows that Steve believes him. At least he knows that Steve dislikes them as much as he does. He may not know why – Loki's barely said a word to his friend about them – but Steve knows how he feels, and he trusts him. He trusts his judgment. That means a lot to him.
He's really not ready for him to die one day.
It gets quiet after that. Loki finishes his ice cream, and, not long after, his mother finishes hers. As much as he hates to ditch Steve at the drop of a hat, especially after Steve gave up his night to stay with him, he doesn't want to stay here with the twins any longer than he has to, and it was the original plan for him and Frigga to go off after they ate. He still feels bad, but not bad enough to change his mind.
So, after a brief farewell to Steve and Thor and a small smile in Bruce's direction, he leads his mother out of the kitchen and to his wing.
As they're walking away, Frigga asks, "That was them? The two with the Mind Stone coursing through their veins?"
Loki just nods.
"I'm sorry," she says.
Loki sighs and shakes his head. He appreciates that the Avengers got rid of Vision and the Mind Stone, but it's such a cruel joke, trapping him in a building with these two Infinity Stone-infested children.
Frigga wraps her arm around his waist as they walk, which puts a small smile on his face. Even without words, she knows just how to make him feel better. It doesn't fix the problem in even the slightest way, but it makes him feel better, which is enough for him.
After a minute or so of silence, she asks, "What are the arrows on the walls for?"
"Oh, those..." He smiles fondly. "The Avengers made them. They point to my room, so I can find my way without asking for help." He's sure it won't be more than a day or two before he knows his way without them, but for now, it does help to have them here, just to make sure he's in the right place.
"That was nice of them," she remarks.
He nods. "It was," he agrees. "They've been much nicer than they used to be. Even Barton's been friendly, and we'd never gotten along in the past."
"Oh, that's wonderful," Frigga says with a smile.
But Loki shakes his head. "I think they pity me," he says. "Because I locked myself in my room for so long. With a slightly joking tone, he adds, "No mentally sound person would do that."
"Have you told them why you did?" she asks. "Any of it?"
"Somewhat," he says. "I told Rogers – in a way. He knows that his mortality worries me. But that's all." And, of course, he spoke with Thor, but he hasn't told any of the others. He certainly hasn't told anyone about the Sanctuary or his experience with the Mind Stone. That much, he never plans to tell them. He never plans to tell anybody at all. His mother knows enough. That's all he has to say on the matter.
"I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell him that much," she says. "I'm glad you feel comfortable talking to him again."
Loki shrugs sheepishly. He'd rather not admit that he only did it because he couldn't sleep knowing Thor was worlds away. He'll tell his mother just about anything, but this is a little too embarrassing, even to tell her.
He perks up as they reach his wing, and he eagerly leads her to his bathroom. "Do you remember when I told you that the Avengers had never given me soap?" he asks.
"I do," she says.
He opens the closet door to reveal the plethora of soap waiting for him. "Look at this! Look what they gave me!"
Frigga just looks amused by that. "That is a lot of soap," she says.
"I am going to take the longest, soapiest shower of my life tonight," Loki says wistfully. Oh, that's going to be so nice. Thor gave him some hand soap for his last couple of weeks in the tower, but this is going to be the first time in years that he's able to wash his hair – and his face! He can wash his face tonight! This is going to be fantastic. He can hardly wait.
Loki closes the closet door and ushers her out of the bathroom. He skips right over the guest room – which he will definitely show her at some point, but it's far from his first priority – and brings her to his bedroom, practically vibrating with excitement. He opens the door and gestures for her to step inside.
Frigga looks around, her expression unreadable. It hadn't really occurred to him until now that she probably sees this room in a very different light than he does. She's accustomed to the luxuries of Asgardian royalty, and this room pales in comparison to his chambers in Asgard.
But's wonderful to him. He's gotten used to Midgard, and by Midgard's standards – by his view of Midgard's standards, largely shaped by his own little bedroom in the tower – this is fantastic. This is everything he could want, short of going home. He's happy with this. He really is.
After taking it in for a few moments, Frigga asks her son, "Do you like it here?"
"I think so," he says. He was happier in the tower. He was happier when he was talking to the others. But as far as the buildings go, the compound is miles better. "I have a television; that's my favorite part." He gestures to the television in question. "And the chirping of birds replaces the honking of horns and the sirens sounding at all hours of the day."
She gives him a small smile. "I'm glad to hear that," she says. "And Thor told me that you've been spending a lot of time outside since your arrival."
He beams at the reminder. Outside. He can go outside now.
"I cannot tell you how much I've missed the fresh air," he says. "I was fortunate to have a window by my bed in the tower, but that pales in comparison to actually being outside again."
"So you're happy here?" she asks, a glimmer of hope in her eye.
He doesn't know if he'd say he's happy. He's lonely, really; not to mention that he's a bit uncomfortable when the Avengers are being nice to him in a way they really haven't been before. He's worried about the Avengers' safety and their fleeting lives coming to an untimely end. He's terrified to know that the Mind Stone lives on under the same roof. So no. He's not happy. Not really.
But still, he smiles. "I'm very happy here," he lies. It's what she wants to hear. She wants him to be happy. And he might be, one day. For a brief period between accepting that the Avengers will die and their actual deaths, he might be happy. But not now.
Frigga smiles, a subtle look of relief spreading across her features. "I'm so glad," she says.
Loki's gotten good at faking smiles over the years, but even he can feel the facade failing, so he changes the subject. "We'd talked a few weeks ago about watching a movie sometime. Would you like to...?"
"Of course," she says. "Whatever you want to do, I will gladly join."
And that's how Loki and Frigga end up snuggled up in his bed while Night at the Museum plays on his own private television.
A/N heyyyy due to popularish demand on ao3, I made a discord server for this fic! the link's on my message board!