Songs fitting for this chapter:
Cloudy June - FU In My Head
Dirty Thought's - Chloe Adams
Neon Mortis background music:
SOPHIE - Shygirl [Clockwork Venus]
Neon Haze - Circus Minimus
»»-------¤-------«« Estelle's Pov »»-------¤-------««
It had been two grueling months since my unexpected encounter with Fedorov. I proceeded to perform my duties as usual, though often clashing with customers for failing to follow the rules. Despite the monotony of my shift, I couldn't help but keep an eagle eye on the entrance every time I returned to the bar, hoping to once again lay eyes upon that smug face of hers. But no such luck.
Why am i disappointed?
I sigh, my emotions in turmoil. On one hand, I should be glad that she was gone; filled with joy at the prospect of a newfound freedom. But on the other, a part of me still aches at her departure. I feel an emptiness inside me, as if something was missing without her presence. It's a strange and confusing combination of feelings that leave me feeling utterly lost.
I'm suddenly and inexplicably drawn to the idea of her being near me. It's a crazy sensation, one that makes me want to launch myself out the window the moment it hit me. Madness, pure madness has taken hold of my heart and mind...and yet I welcomed it with open arms.
The lap dance scene lingers in my mind, an alluring and irresistible memory that refused to fade away. I longed for it, pined for it, desired it more with each passing day. Just thinking back to it made me feel something stir deep inside of me.
Fuck sake..I'm going mad.
I sigh deeply before i put down my serving platter on the counter of the bar.
I'm actually going insane. My bar for people is ON THE FLOOR. God Estelle have some self-respect!
I had one powerful orgasm from them and now it feels like they are the only person who can give me any sort of pleasure. I'm aroused at the thought of being with them, yet annoyed by such an addiction.
I hadn't received a single word from them for two months. Was the silence a sign of some kind? Had I done something wrong by not letting them have their way with me that night? Maybe it all had something to do with me. My brain kept running wild with endless possibilities, constantly trying to figure out why she had disappeared without a trace for this long. The uncertainty of the situation was killing me and I couldn't take it anymore.
"Estella!"
I hear my name being called and turn to see Micha walking towards me. As he extends his arm, I notice a card in his hand with golden numbers that immediately catch my attention. I knew it could be only one thing - the card from the private gig I had a few months ago.
Her card.
I try to remain composed when he tells me to return the card. I take it from him and release a heavy sigh, slightly upset for having received an unexpected reminder of what had happened not so long ago.
"Hey Micha, I'm not sure where to find them and they haven't been around here for two months." i say.
"Don't worry," Micha replies. "My business partner said that they're at his place right now." A glimmer of hope fills my eyes and i feel disgusted by it but i can't care less at the moment.
"Where!?"
"Neon Mortis, the underground gamble place. I"ll tell my partner to let you in."
My heart is racing with excitement. I can't understand why I feel a sudden surge of enthusiasm, almost like a young schoolgirl who saw her crush come onto the field. But I shrug it off and put on my coat on top of my outfit. My slim-fitting jeans hugs my body nicely and flatters my curves, while the red poofy blouse adds a vibrancy to the ensemble that was completed by the long coat wrapping it all up. I leave the club and make my way towards the other.
Finally arriving at Neon Mortis, a sense of unease overtook me. Everything about this place feels secretive and hidden away. A soft red hue illuminates the stairs leading down to the entrance, where a large man stands guard. I cautiously approach him and force a feeble smile onto my face as he watches me with wary eyes.
"Hi, i'm sorry to bother you sir."
"Name?"
Right, Micha said his partner would make it so i could get in.
"Estelle Beaufort, i've been told your boss expects me."
The bulky figure nods at my name and gives me a soft smile before letting me through.
Okay, now i just need to find them.
The club is shrouded in darkness, its neon lights and illegal substances a sight to behold. People were gambling furiously, many of them notorious Mafia folk whose intimidating presence made me feel uneasy. I could sense their watchful eyes on me, cautious and unblinking like hawks. It was a nerve-wracking experience to say the least.
As I scan the bustling club, my gaze eventually settles on a figure near the back. They were standing out of the crowd, shouting Fedorov's name with all their might. In that moment, I knew that was where I'd find them.
"Goddammit, Mallory!" the guy shouts, slamming his fists on the table as maniacal laughter rings out through the cloud of cigarette smoke.
"How did you know i had full house?! You fucking cheat!" His anger and frustration were palpable, a sinking feeling in his gut that he has been outsmarted and defeated. Listening in as i approach the table slowly, i notice he was referring to poker. I can only assume that Fedorov has beaten him with a Royal Flush to his Full house.
With each step I take towards the table in the back, my heart races faster and faster. But my anxiety quickly shifts to shock when my eyes locks onto the wealthy woman for whom I'd been searching--it felt almost as if a dagger has struck right into my chest. They were sitting there with a changed look. She has sidecuts with her hair pulled up into a dishevelled manbun, a scar strewn across her upper lip. But what really burns is the sight of the woman draped all over them, and even worse - they seem to be enjoying it. I feel my heart plummeting in my chest, an ache rising up my throat as I force myself to take a deep breath.
It was one lap dance Estelle and a night where nothing happened..
As I step closer to the table, one of the mob bosses shift his gaze and whistles, alerting the others to my presence.
"My, what a gorgeous sight to behold."
Instantly, all faces at the table turn towards me – including Fedorov's. She glances at me with an emotion that feels heavier than the others'. I put on my best performance, determined to impress them. They don't need to know how much i've been thinking about them.
"Thanks for the compliment handsome."
I can't help but let my gaze linger on the man across the table, my lips curling into a coy smile. He's rather dashing, with his chiseled jawline and glossy black hair. His tailored suit and visible tattoos gave him an air of sophistication and mystery, like a mob boss out of one of those old films.
"Pleasure Sweetheart." He replies.
His thickly-accented question indicates he noticed my unfamiliarity - his gaze never leaving me for a moment. I smile, brushing a lock of hair over my shoulder and feeling his eyes following the movement. It was clear that he knew I didn't belong here.
"I hardly ever come here, i'm lucky i could get in tonight." I joke, a smile curling the corners of my lips. He responds by offering his hand.
"Would you care to join me? Perhaps your luck will rub off on me," he grins, winking playfully at me. I let out a coy giggle and take his hand in mine, feeling his gentle kiss against the surface of my hand. As I smile, my attention was quickly drawn to a poker chip flying rapidly towards his head. It narrowly missed his eye and I watch as he recoiles in surprise.
"What the hell Fedorov!? What's up your ass tonight!?" Russian shouting fills the air around me.
"Don't waste my time Marco, play. Next time I won't miss." She spits her words in an aggressive tone, her menacing gaze fixed on me. A wave of butterflies flutters in my stomach as her face contorts with what seems to be jealousy. I silently observe the feeling, aware of the slight undertone of emotion between us.
As my gaze drifts towards the woman that had caught my attention, I notice that hers landed on me as well. Our eyes lock in an intense stare and the underlying tension was almost unbearable. Despite all this, I feel strangely calm - I'm already upset, so nothing at that moment seems to phase me. Reaching into my purse, I pull out a card and held it up between my fingers for her to see.
"Micha told me to return this to you." —i toss the card over the table swiftly.— "Since you never came to ask for it."
The sight of the woman draped over them, her hands exploring their body, sent a searing sensation of jealousy through my gut. When I saw a lipstick mark on their neck, it was almost too much to bear. I grit my teeth and put on a brave face, forcing back tears that stung in my eyes and smile.
"That's all, have a wonderful night gentlemen." I tease playfully, my words full of flirtatious intent. The men around the table whistled or returned the pleasantry.
I make my way towards the nearest exit. After pushing it open with all my might, making it crash against the wall behind me, I was certain that I had broken the door in my haste. Taking deep breaths, I lean against the wall of the alley lit by neon lights from nearby clubs to attempt to steady myself. In an instant, I can feel the stinging tears build in my eyes until they overflow, cascading down my cheeks in an unrelenting stream.
Dammit Estelle! You're so stupid, you were just a fun night. Of course they have nothing to explain to you. You're nothing to them!
I gasp for air, desperately trying to stop my tears. It's pointless, they keep coming anyway. How pathetic I must look, standing there with my hands pressed against the wall and tears streaming down my cheeks. Every moment seems to be an eternity as I stare down at the cold concrete. The thing that makes it worse is how much better she seemed now — how she was enjoying her life without me in it, while i sit here in a limbo of emotions. Still, I stand here — broken and alone — crying out for something that obviously wasn't part of this reality. My reality.
I'm lost in my own whirlwind of self-loathing when the door to the club opens behind me. I quickly try to look casual, fiddling with my phone while leaning against the wall. That is until a voice breaks through the haze of my thoughts. I can sense the familiar pain in my chest and tightness in my throat as those same emotions from moments earlier rush back. The individual speaks and I find myself freeze in place.
"Sparky."
Authors note:
Thank you for reading this chapter of my story "Dance of Affliction" <3
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