Hey all, first of all I'd like to thank all my readers for taking the time to read vote and comment. I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to upload, let alone reply to all your wonderful comments. I am just about to get the kids off to school and I had a choice; upload or reply to comments. Knowing you would all pick the next chapter ha ha here it is!
Enjoy
Mel xoxo
Chapter 27
Once everyone had jumped back into their cars, Jack started heading back in the direction of the club. As if he knew I was about to demand he takes me back to Isabella, he spoke up.
"You're going to need to get cleaned up and changed out of those clothes before Isabella or anyone else sees you. Hurry up and I'll take you back to the hospital before the club opens. Joshua I've arranged Isabella to be transferred to the same hospital as your mother so you won't have to split yourself in half ok?" I nodded pleased that I would have my two precious girls together. "
We are all here for you, you know that right?" nodding my head yes again, I stared at him. I knew Jack was a good friend but I couldn't believe how good a friend he really was. As they say you will always find out whom your true friends in bad times and believe me I have. Everything Jack was doing for me was proof of it.
I know in my heart that if the positions were reversed ,I would've done the same for him but Jack was really helping me hold myself together right now and without him by my side, I really don't think I would've coped. Well for starters, I bet I would've ended up, locked up in a cell for murder right now and that wasn't me at all.
Standing under the jets of water, I felt my sore stiff muscles slowly begin to unwind. Seeing the clear water turn red, I stared down at my hands. They were so swollen and cut up I began to see the extent of what I had done. If my hands looked like they had been hit repeatedly by a hammer, god only knows what Jaxon looked like.
"She's going to kill me!" I spoke aloud to myself, knowing I had no choice but to get my hands seen to, once I was finished here. The thought of Isabella's face when she sees my hands had me wanting to hide away until they healed. But after running off on her once, I was no way risking it a second time round. Then my brain clicked, she might not even notice when she hears that Jaxon has been found. Then I slapped myself hard as I remembered that Isabella could no longer see and as much as I didn't want her to see my hands in such a state right now, I wish she could see.
Guilt wrecked through my body in lightning speed. I knew I shouldn't have got so carried away no matter how much he deserved it. I should've been able to control myself. The way I acted, mirrored my father and that sickened me. Thinking about my father, I guess he was just an added reason to why I had lost it the way I had. I know I was going to have to live with my actions but that only had me thinking of what Isabella has to live with now. It made me physically throw up into the shower tray.
No wonder my poor baby has been having nightmares, screaming out and sobbing her heart out every time she slept. The doctor said this will eventually get better in time but I didn't think it will, not now feeling the way I do. How could anyone ever forget what she went through because I never will and I wasn't the one whom had been beaten to my near death. I just hope Jaxon will suffer as much, if not more because as much I hated hitting him the way I had, I also feel good that he too will suffer long term.
Whilst in the car on our way to the hospital, Jack told me that Elle had called him asking if we had found Jaxon yet, and why we had Isabella moved to another hospital. Elle also stated that Isabella was starting to freak out why we had been gone for so long. It melted me to my very core knowing she was worried about me.
With not knowing where I stand with Isabella scared me because as much as I tried to deny it to myself, I had already fallen in too deep and if she was to turn me away now.....I don't know what would happen to me. Even just thinking of the possibility of Isabella not giving me another chance felt like my heart was being brutally ripped out of my chest.
I needed her and I just hoped that she needed me too. Not just to get through this but to feel the completeness that I feel when we're together. Experiencing all these new warm and tingly feelings felt amazing, I felt alive and I never wanted to lose them, ever. The completeness I felt inside and out, you couldn't put a price on and I didn't want to.
I love her so much that I would ask her to marry me tomorrow morning if I could but even though I knew what I wanted, I knew it wasn't the time for Isabella. Isabella was going to need time, time to heal and then maybe in time she will accept.
Isabella
Feeling physically and mentally sick with worry, I could no longer hide it from my best friends. Elle called Jack and although the news that they had caught Jaxon should've relieved me, it didn't, well not completely. Yes I was relieved to know that Jaxon was locked up and that I no longer had to fear of where he was, or thinking what he was going to do next. Or was he going to come after me. However, with Jack not letting Elle talk to Jack worried me more than it should have. Not been able to stop myself from thinking of the worst case scenarios, my head was spinning.
So much had happened in such a short time, it was as if it was real but as much as I wished for it not to be, I knew it was. I had the pain to prove it. Although I couldn't see as well as the pain that thumped through my entire body, nothing could compare to the way my brain was thinking. With the blurry darkness I was enclosed in, made the repeating visions of what had happened to me, feel like I was still there pleading for Jaxon to stop.
Reliving that night along with Joshua still not back it was all becoming way too much to handle. and with the pain hitting as the meds wore off, I was no longer in control. Control of my life, my way of thinking, my body, nothing. The only control I had at this moment was pressing a button for more meds but what was that? I asked myself because all that did was numb me. Was this the way I was going to have to spend the rest of my life so I could cope? I didn't want to feel like this. Hell all I wanted was all of this to be over but knowing there was going to be a court date to face as well as my parents I didn't think I was going to be able to survive. Then was my poor innocent unborn baby to think of.
Thinking of my baby, I knew I didn't have time to sink into depression or self-pity because this baby was going to need me more than anything or anyone that had ever needed me in my entire life.
'Joshua please comes back' I mentally pleaded, in hope he would somehow hear me.
Elle and Lisa tried reassuring me but with my eyes still covered by the dressings everything else seemed to have become clearer somehow. Such as my hearing, I could hear they were trying to cover up the fear as well as their concern in their voices but to me I heard it loud and clear.
I realised after Jack and Joshua left that if anything happened to either of them it would be my entire fault, just like all this is my fault. If I hadn't had met Jaxon, I wouldn't have been here lying here right now. If it wasn't for me leaving the club early, my friends wouldn't have had to search the entire night for me and then there was the fact that not only had I caused everyone to worry but I also have this precious tiny being growing inside me. If I couldn't look after myself what hopes did my baby have? I seriously asked myself.
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Poor Isabella
I know she should try and be strong but i dont think i could even be strong after all she went through. Hopefully though with Jaxon locked away maybe she will be able to push past this.
I hope you all enjoyed
Much love Mel xoxo