Autumn Commander Johnathan
Cody's POV
I watch as James comes forward, and I sit up, waiting for him to do so as well before I reach for his hands. "Hi. How are you feeling?" I ask him softly, trying not to let my throat get any more irritated than it already is. But I have to make sure he's okay.
'What about you? Are you okay?' Jessie asks, still upset that I didn't shift and fight Alpha Richard off. But I knew it wasn't my fight.
Even if I won it wouldn't have helped James. It would have just made it all harder for him. And if given the chance, I would do it again.
He sighs, his eyes not meeting mine though he doesn't pull his hands away. " I couldn't do it. You were choking, right there in front of me. My Mate, the man I claimed to love. And I couldn't move a muscle. How can I sit here and say I'll protect you and be there for you when I just, froze? And Sloan had to take over? How can I look myself in the mirror?" He asks and I chuckle lightly, bringing his hands to my lips so I can press a kiss.
"You have nothing to apologize for. The point of there being two of you is being able to support and be there for one another when you face an obstacle too big for yourself. The weight of the world is not on your shoulders alone. You are not alone. And no one expects you to act like it. I know it's going to take some time to heal, and you might not be able to show compassion to yourself right now, and that's okay. But you owe nothing to me. I love you. And I'm proud of you." I tell him, willing him to hear and believe my words.
His eyes water and I can tell he does, a raw weighing guilt slowly melting off of him as he sees the sincerity of my words in my eyes.
"I love you." I tell him freely, openly, and I mean it.
"I love you, too." He says and the worlds seem to settle him.
"What about your mom?" I ask, realizing that I didn't see her once his father got led away.
James frowns before answering. "I don't know. She disappeared. Probably for the better. I don't think either of us are ready to talk to her right now." He admits, clenching his jaw, and I nod, dropping the subject, wanting to forget about Richard and Leslie.
"How about we go back down to the celebration?" I offer, a little out of character, but wanting to do it, not just for James and Sloan but for Jessie and I as well. So I can get back to soaking in that feeling of what it's like to be connected to something bigger than yourself.
I see James wrestle with himself before agreeing, giving me a long, passionate kiss that almost leaves me breathless, and my heart full.
I can tell he's not fully okay. And honestly I'm not sure I am either. But the only thing that can help is time and healing. And a part of that is knowing when to stop beating a dead horse and just let loose. Which I'm more than happy to do with the man that gives me a thousand new reasons to love him every day.
✨✨✨
It's been a few days since the incident and thankfully things have calmed down. And after James talked to his Commanders, Johnathan agreed to meet with me today and help me train. James also told me it's so the two of us can get to know each other better, and it does make sense.
It's almost comical to me how much anxiety and resistance I had towards the idea of being Luna. I started volunteering at the Nursery & Home after schools on Monday, and have been there every day since, though I told them yesterday I would be busy today. I thought it would be hard being in a place that was like a second home to my mom. I was worried of emotions, those left behind, and mine, but they welcomed me with open arms, a fond story and a clean slate.
I finally reach the park house and jog upstairs to change quickly, making sure Enza sent me the information he promised before heading back down.
Hading needing just a bit of privacy today, I had Jessie sleep through most of it, but I let go of the now unfamiliar reigns, Jessie immediately stirring at the release.
'Keeping secrets are we?' He teases and I breath a sigh of relief, a part of me was a little worried he would be upset about the matter.
'That's for me to know and you to find out.' I spit back, our usual banter having slowly coming back over time. While I had always been a bit standoffish and suspicious as a child, unsure of my role in others narrative, Jessie was the only person I felt like I could be myself with. With the exception of Cassie of course, but with Jessie, he could actually read my thoughts and see my experience through my eyes and his. There's an understanding and connection there that I had forgotten over time with years of neglect.
Something I remind myself daily now, not to take for granted.
Because there are some rouges or Hybrids who, for whatever reason, stopped shifting, or never learned how to. And if that wolf soul is blocked or shut off for too long, the wolf can lose its will to live and pass on to the Eternal Forrest, leaving the Super unable to shift and a void where their wolf once was.
We've all learned about it in school, heard the tales of it growing up. But now, now that I've forced myself out of my self righteous resentment, I see just how close I may have been to losing him forever. Killing the other half of me, stealing him away from James and Sloan to love. So the guilt still eats at me, but I try every day to make up for it. And I hope one day you will.
'You don't have to try so hard. Just hold on, and don't let go.' Jessie offers and I pray to Celeste that I never fail him again.
The sun is warm on this Thursday afternoon, and I mentally count the days until my birthday. Only nine more days until I turn eighteen and confirm the next phase of my life.
Walking through the pack is differnt to me me. I recognize faces, and put a face to a story. I see little Abigail, a young wolf who gets dropped off at the Home for daycare, the little four year old an avid helper snack distribution.
A month ago, I felt like a robot, going through the motions of life without any real goal or direction. But now I can see my life changing before my eyes towards everything I never dared hope for.
I'm making my way towards the Warrior Academy, on the other side of the village of shops in the middle of the pack. I'm passing by a grocery shop when suddenly a wolf steps out in front of me, and I stumble to a stop barely avoiding a collision.
'What the hell?' Jessie questions already on high alert. I take a step back and stop short when I see Jessica, James' ex girlfriend.
"Uh, something I can do for you?" I question, highly annoyed with being stopped, knowing now I'll be avoidably late.
She seems shocked by my candor, but she tried my patience the moment she fucked with my schedule.
"So how long was he cheating on you with me for? Did he tell you the same things he told me? Cause if so, save yourself the trouble and leave now. He's nothing but a liar. He told me he was too busy with the pack and school to have a partner. So what makes you so goddamn special?" She asks and I realize that she left early the day of the Pack Run. Alex had mentioned later that she left right after Richard grabbed me.
My anger lessens a little as I recognize the pain and anger within herself, desperately reaching out for answers when I'm sure she knows nothing will make it better.
"I'm not at liberty to tell you anything that he won't. James is a grown man, and he needs to take responsibility like it. My birthday isn't for another nine days, but we're pretty sure that I'm his Mate. I didn't ask for this, it was handed to me, and I'll do everything in my power to cherish this gift. I'm sorry it was at your expense, and I hope you get the answers you're looking for, but some things are beyond us." I tell her truthfully, understanding her but also needing her to know that the only thing she can do, is go from here.
But instead of understanding or even walking away, she laughs, tears in her eyes, disgust smeared along her lip as she shakes her head.
"Really? Really? You guys just have a gut feeling and we're all supposed to go off of that?" She questions and I get her frustration so I only shrug.
"Right or wrong, I guess we'll see next Saturday." Is all I reply before giving her a smile that I hope eases some of her pain, and walking past her.
'A little dismissive don't you think?' Jessie asks and maybe it was. Right now though, I don't have the energy the give some of it towards helping someone piece together their life when I'm just starting my own. Jessie doesn't say anything more as we finally arrive at the Academy.
I can hear the courtyard from here, the sounds of exercising, sparring and lectures filling my ears. It's familiar to me, like a distant cousin. When my parents were alive, and Cassie was off with her friends, I would come with my dad to the Academy, watching the Warriors train, taking in the way people looked at my dad as he talked. Being here feels like a warm hug as I pass through the large open engraved doors, the story of our pack engraved along the wood.
There's a large hall filled with desks and chairs, the seats filled with students reading through textbooks. Theres an office to the left and inside I find a secretary behind a second, another bigger office behind her, the plaque next to is reading: Head Warrior Jeffery Mino Falls. My stomach churns, the memory of my fathers name in its place squeezing my heart. Thankfully, Johnathan is there, waiting for me, leaning against a wall, smiling when he looks up from his phone and sees me waiting.
Suddenly anxious to get out of there, I lead the way outside the fresh air erasing my nervous sweats, the building of memories to my back as I try to calm down. I watch my head with something to say but before I can, Johnathan beats me to it.
"If you don't have anything to say, then don't. I'm no going to hold silence against you." He tells me and it surprises me, though I do shut my mouth, content then with the comfortable silence that follows. Around the Academy are a dozen differnt training sites, and Johnathan leads us towards an open field, the zone empty save a wolf guard at the entrance.
The two of us enter, and I turn towards Johnathan, unsure of what to do next.
"Uhh, James said we would being training and getting to know each other." I express as Johnathan and he nods right as he goes to sit on the ground, his legs spread into a V shape and his hands on the ground behind him, supporting him up. I notice the bite mark on the left side of his neck, telling me he's found his Mate and that they're a wolf as well. At least fifty percent, anyway.
"You're an Omega, right?" He asks, cocking his head and I nod slowly, unsure how this conversation will go. "Have you unlocked any abilities, yet?" He asks me casually like we're talking about the weather.
All I can do is blink. Most people, even wolves, even after years of being disproven, still think that because of our smaller stature and lack of any real strength, we're deemed weak and for the most part, a liability. So for Johnathan to dismiss that and have the knowledge he does, I would bet everything I own that his Mate is an Omega.
"Uh, yes. I haven't quite gotten the hang of it, but lately I've been able to see people's aura around them and I think their mama stream." I admit and he hums in thought before nodding his head.
"And I'm assuming you've never taken any classes at the Academy? Had any real fight training?" He asks and the question stings, a reminder that after my upcoming twelfth birthday, my father had promised he would start my training. I shake my head, attempting to swallow the stupid lump in my throat. "I thought so. Well I would recommend talking to Charlotte about your Omega abilities when you get the chance. In the meantime, let's spar and see what you got. Gotta make sure our Luna can kick ass when we need you to." He tells me with an easy smile.
He gets up from his position, and while he does, I attempt to use my aura vision trying not to smile when it works. When I look at Johnathan I find his aura grey. I can see a flicker of blue attempting to shine, but the grey overpowers it. I find myself curious about this Johnathan. Mate to an Omega, Commander of Warriors, Friend to James.
And as we train, I remind myself to one day ask about the grey flame that seems to burn away who he is little by little until one day, there will be nothing left.
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Mmmmmmm Idk how I feel about this chapter. Honestly it's a filler. There's definitely some key hints and information but I needed to close off the whole Pack Run Scene and introduce what's next- which I know you guys will love!
Thoughts?
Comments?
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