His voice is so quiet that one be afraid to overhear it, but for me that isn't possible even if I would try my hardest to. "Kiss me.", a statement that destroyed me innerly. A task that I have always hated but now that I'm looking him straight into his eyes I don't only hate it, I even detest it. I curse his idea and the alcohol that probably talked him into giving me this dare.
I open my mouth to argue against him, to tell him that I won't do it, that he should think of a different dare for me, but not a single word makes it out of my mouth, they stay stuck in my head. But Joel wasn't finished yet because there was another sentence to his dare: "On the mouth... for at least five seconds.", these words wake me from my shock. "Never. I'm not doing that."
Joel's grin only gets bigger. "You have to. It's my dare to hive you one." – "Exactly, to 'give' me one and that's what you just did.", I argue but Joel doesn't give up. "And you have to fulfil a dare. Come on, do you really want to be like Aleksi and not do your dare. It's just a kiss. Without any feelings. That's not a big deal.", he tries and tries to get me to do the dare, but he knows exactly that I hate this dare.
Annoyed I cross my arms infront of my chest and look away from Joel. "Come on. Do you really want me not to be able to fulfil my dare because of you. Do you really want to ruin the game?", his voice has a challenging tone in it that I manage to withhold. "We can also just continue. I won't kiss you. You won't manage to force me to do that.", I explain and turn my head away from him so that I can't fall for his trap of his light blue eyes.
Softly, a little bit cold fingertips due to the can of beer, come against the side of my chin through which he tries to change my gaze that I'm looking at him again but I immediately hit that hand away from my chin again. "Don't touch me. Boys, let us continue.", I demand the others who only look at me and Joel. They're still doing it. "Theoretically, we can't do that. My dare isn't fulfilled yet.", Joel's fingertips lay on my chin again but before I can slap it away again the fingertips move downward to the back of my neck which makes me close my eyes.
He still knows it. The spot on my neck that makes me weak with even the slightest touch, like this one. A spot, that gives me goose bumps with every soft touch, if not even a shiver. With all my strength I try to fight against the feeling that is currently spreading through me but he still manages to turn my head towards him very easily so that I notice, how much closer he is with his face than he was a few seconds ago.
And even while I have my eyes closed I feel his closeness through the warm and alcohol scented breath which softly hits against my skin. "Open your eyes, prinsessa. I told you to kiss me so it's your turn now.", his voice is so quiet that I'm certain only the two of us can here hs words.
Only for a short time his touch on the side of my neck less which releases me and let's me take a deep breath and open my eyes. My gaze immediately meets his. I hesitate but am then able to say what I wanted to say after all. "I will not kiss you. You do it if you so desperately wa-", I cut of my sentence as he pushes a curl of mine behind my ear and follows it with his head.
The moment In which he breaks this minimal distance between us which relives me. That feeling doesn't stay too long though because only a few seconds later his breath lands on my sensitive spot which makes me shiver again. "Oh, really? I think you will do it. Even when you try to stay strong I know that this spot on your neck makes you weak and that means that you will kiss me.", is voice only makes the goose bumps worse.
"I hate you.", I only manage to say as a breath to which his face appears opposite mine. "Prove it.", he challenges me and comes closer to me again. It feels like it's only a northern three millimetres that lay between our lips but he keeps that distance and waits for me. He knows how he gets hat he wants.
Only minimal his fingertips come against my neck again and keep on moving over the sensitive spot. "Prove to me, that you hate me, prinsessa.", he lays the most value on the last word and even if his voice is only a mumble now, he manages to make me freeze.
I would just love to push him away from me right now, shout at him and maybe even slap him, but it doesn't work. I can't do any of those things. The way with which he manages to make me do exactly what he wants, manipulate me and do exactly the opposite what I had actually promised myself to do, exactly that let's me do something that I really never wanted to do again.
I get closer and get rid of the last few millimetres between us. With the second that our lips meet eachother his hand runs up to the back of my neck and pulls me closer towards him. It doesn't even take a second until our lips start moving and even when I actually don't want it, I begin to move mine synchronic to his. Automatically my hand places itself on his chest and his hand wanders from the back of my neck into my hair. The kiss stays gentle, slow, but intense at the same time.
My lips begin to feel numb, as Joel sneakily let's his tongue glide over it. His thumb separates from my hair and begins to slide up and down the side of my neck so he always touches the one sensitive spot there that drives me crazy.
Only in the moment where his touch makes me feel a certain way, a feeling I haven't felt in the last six years, I notice in which situation I actually got myself. In that second I come back to my senses and immediately bring a distance between our lips again.
In the moment that I only stare at the floor in shock my heart beats faster than ever and breathing gets harder not least from the kiss. It's just a feeling, that woke me up, that brought me back into the here and now.
I hold my hand infront of my mouth totally overwhelmed and run my thumb over my bottom lip, which is a little swollen, in secret. I only see Joel, wo is sitting next to me with a big grin and looking at the group, in the corner of my eye. "Fulfilled the dare!", he says and smiles.
As hard as I try to get rid of those thoughts in the next moment and try to be back in the here and now, I stay to myself for the next minutes.
Somehow I see everything in slow-motion and hear everything so quiet, that you nearly have to guess what is said. Even in the moment that Joonas comes out of the bathroom grinning with cold-wax stripes in his hands, because Niko got the dare to shave his legs, my expression doesn't change.
Even in the moments when Joonas and Joel put the wax stripes on Niko's legs while laughing their heads off and then keep pretending to rip them off, they don't get rid of the uncomfortable feeling I am having. The singer's expression is frightened as the two blond boys keep pretending to rip off the wax stripes. And when Joonas suddenly peels off the first strip of wax, the Finn screams loudly and grabs his leg in pain.
Just when he seems to have calmed down a bit, Joel also tears the strip of wax off the other leg. Niko's scream is a lot higher this time than the first one, to which everyone bursts out laughing. Everyone, except for me. While the five boys lie on the floor laughing and look in amazement at the peeled wax strips and Niko's two hairless spots on his lower legs, I sit motionless and silent in one and the same place.
The only thought that finds its way through my head is the feeling that woke me up, which I almost allowed. My entire attitude was broken within a couple of moments. I was forced to do something that I had refused to do just a few seconds before, and I don't know if it was coercion or not. After all, I kissed him. I allowed the disaster to happen and it's my fault that I could feel it.
On the other hand, however, it is not my fault. Joel was the person who made me do it. If he hadn't played with my feelings and known exactly what he had to do to change my mind, I would never have kissed him. That's for sure.
Slowly, the boys get back on their feet and after Niko mourns his lost leg hair for a few more moments, we continue playing truth or dare again.
Aleksi is also given a dare. He is supposed to hold a plank for as long as he can. Without much complaining, he goes into the plank and holds it for a good amount of time without any problems.
Only after about four minutes he slowly starts to complain that his arms are starting to give way and his feet are beginning to slip. I call that complaining at a high level, but if those are the only problems he has, everything is fine.
After the fifth minute, he begins to complain even more and his body suddenly begins to shake strongly. He would not be able to maintain in this position for much longer, that is clear to all of us.
However, it doesn't seem to be going fast enough for Olli, which is why he suddenly gets up and jumps into the air and lets himself fall onto Aleksi's back, causing him to collapse and lie flat on the ground. Olli begins to laugh victoriously, while Aleksi tries to crawl out from under him, which he manages to do after a few moments.
Joonas, who somehow has a lot of luck rolling the dice today, is once again asked a truth, which nevertheless turns out to be very interesting. But here, too, I am only half present, because my thoughts still revolve around the touch of the person sitting next to me, to the right of me.
I think I notice how he tries to talk to me once or twice, but since I still hear everything quietly and in a dull tone, I don't understand him and ignore his few and quiet words. As if he honestly thinks that I would still feel like talking to him after what he just did to me. It's enough for me to sit next to the Finns already for a tingling sensation to settle in my fist, which I would like to land in his face. He won't ever be able to play with me again, as he did with the dare. It's certainly not kindness that's buzzing around in his thoughts.
Now that I more or less know why people like Olli and what Tommi's worst date ever was, I don't even realize that it's my turn again. Only when Tommi's hand slowly rests on my shoulder I come out of my position I've been in ever since the kiss happened and look at the drummer. "Hilja? Would you like to play another round, or do you think it's enough?", he asks me and I finally hear clearly again what the boys are saying.
It has become quiet and somehow I can't manage to sort out my thoughts at that moment, so I just get up and excuse myself to the bathroom. I feel the confused looks of the guys following me, as I didn't answer Tommi's question, nor did I give any other reaction.
In a quick step, I disappear into the bathroom and lock the door behind me. Without thinking of anything else, I let myself sink down at the door and bury my face in my arms. Even though I don't exactly know why, tears begin to roll out of my eyes, which then find their way down my cheeks.
Everything that happened that night is just too much. Everything that has happened since I met Joel again is pure chaos. Feelings, thoughts and conversations are completely confused and create a single mess in me.
It's my first reaction to cry and the second is my cell phone. A number that I always choose when I'm not feeling well and always have. I put my phone on my knees and put it on speakers. "Lia? Why are you calling me again?" his voice is questioning and sceptical. "I can't do this, Keno.", my tears are not under control and get stronger in the next second, "I thought that maybe he has changed, but he hasn't. He's still playing with me. With my feelings.".
The large amount of Information, which is completely taken out of context, confuses the German guy at first: "What? What are you talking about? What did Joel do?". Slowly, I try to explain how the evening went down after the last call, sobbing more than anything else. In all likelihood, Keno has probably only understood half of what I tell him when on the other hand I get to the actual emotional chaos.
Before continuing telling him what happened, I take another deep breath. "I didn't want it, Keno, but somehow he managed to get me to do the dare he thought of for me. He managed to manipulate me and play according to his thoughts. I gave him everything he wanted the moment I put my lips on his." – "But you regret it, which means it meant nothing to you, Lia. Everything's fine," Keno tries to calm me down, but he doesn't even know the worst of the story.
The tears begin to roll down my cheeks heavier again. "No, Keno. Nothing is good. You don't get it. The moment our lips touched, the... that's when this feeling came up. Something I haven't felt since 2016, something I haven't allowed to myself to feel for six years. And just in a few moments, he managed to make all these feelings come back at once. Keno, in this kiss I felt it again, it wasn't 'nothing'. If I hadn't interrupted the kiss, ...".
(2527 Words)
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Cliffhanger-Counter: VI
Muhahahaha. I love Cliffhanger, like this, that's definitely not obvious right? Whatever I just hope no one here wants to kill me, but I think there was a harmony for too long. We need some drama and this, my dear, is just the beginning.
A kiss with Joel, chaos in the head and a whole evening in front of us. Well, well, well... That can just mean even more drama. :/
Rosa x