I'm Abby Flenory, I'm seventeen years old and I have daddy issues but sometimes I'd like to think of it as a normal thing. It doesn't really bother me that much because we're doing really fine without him in our lives that is my mum and I. He left back in June when summer was just kicking in and it hurt alot. I got depressed and was stuck recovering on junk food which kind of increased my weight more and my rate of bullying.
I've been jogging with my friend in the mornings but he's been busy lately so I've given up on that. Noah kushner has been a very close friend of mine since we moved in twelve years ago. I can still remember the day we met. I was new to school and he was the only one who was nice to me and later on we found out we were neighbours. We'd walk to school everyday hand in hand and he would always keep me safe and away from all the bullies. But now he's so popular being the captain of Nashville high's football team and we barely see each other. He never has time for me anymore. He's too busy partying and hanging out with pretty girls. Pretty slim girls who aren't as fat as I am.
I've always had a crush on Noah but I could never tell him that. He'd just laugh at me. I mean, look at me I'm.. I'm fat and not his type. I could never be his type.
I sigh twirling round in front of the mirror in just my t-shirt and socks. I walk over to my window. My house is just next to his so our windows are opposite each other. He's lights are out so that means he's not in. Probably on another party or having sex with some blonde girl. I don't know why he likes blondes.
I twirl my hair with a finger. I have ginger coloured hair and honestly I don't think it's that attractive, guys don't really pay attention to girls with this type of hair. It's boring and mines frizzy and so hard to brush. It takes me hours before I can get it ready for school.
I walk back to my bed grabbing my phone from the bedside table. Maybe I should give Noah a text. I unlock my phone going to Noah and I's chat. It's been unattended by him not me. I've actually been the one texting and he's been the one not replying. I type a simple how are you doing but I have second thoughts about sending it. I sigh clearing the message and just dropping my phone back down. I don't think he'd reply, like the way he hasn't replied to any of my recent texts.
I lay down my head on my pillow pulling the sheets over my body. I don't turn my lights off and the reason may sound too childish but hey everyone's got their fears. I don't like the dark and it's scary. I get scared when it's dark and especially when I'm alone. So sleeping with the lights on isn't a problem for me but for most people it would be. Noah hates sleeping with his lights on and he notices when I'm asleep or not given the fact that my lights are always on.
I hope I can get to see him tomorrow. I miss him. I smile at the thought of his smile. We have alot of classes together but he's never around for most of them and sometimes I help him out with his homework. I don't see it as a bother though. He gets busy with practice and besides we're friends.
I close my eyes and allow my self to fall asleep.
**
"Abby, Abby get out of bed so you won't be late", my mum yells from downstairs, but little does she know that I'm already up fixing my hair. I want to be super straight today.
I put a few strands into the straightener, careful not to burn myself as I pull it out. Once I'm done and it seems okay enough. I pick my bag and head downstairs.
I skip down the stairs and it's like the worst idea ever because I end missing a step and I find myself falling at the last step. Ouch.
"Oh my God Abby are you okay?", My mum asks with concern laced in her tone. I nod as she helps me up.
I look down at my now bruised knee. It's red and it hurts. I'm almost crying as I take a seat for breakfast. The sight of the food chases away any form of sadness and I can feel my tears drying up in my eyes. I love food and it's bad that I love it the way I do but what can I do? I mean, I still have to eat.
Once I'm done with the last piece of egg I kiss my mum goodbye and walk out the door. Our house isn't too far from school so I just walk to it most of the time. Sometimes my mum's not too busy to drive me there and other times the much more smaller times Noah drives me. I love those times when it's just the both of us in his car with him smiling at me till we get to school and then when we get into the double barred door it's like we don't know each other again. Since Noah became popular we never hang out as much as we used to.
I like to take the walk to school as an exercise because I need it. I think I lose about forty to fifty calories but when I start eating I gain more than my loss. It's a frustrating cycle of weight loss.
I get to school before the bell and I'm glad because before I usually miss it and sometimes first period because I'll probably stop to pant or whizz and that takes a long time. There was this one time I actually fainted on some old lady's shrubs but it was just a quick black out. I got revived by her cat peeing on my face. I smelled horrible that day.
I pick my trig text book out of my locker afterwards I head to my first class. I take a seat close to the window. Personally I like window seats because it gives off this calmness and I love it. It always gives me inspiration to draw. I love drawing. It's a hobby of mine that stuck since pre school. It helps me forget about all the bad stuff that happens and probably my size. It's kinda like therapeutic.
I could draw anything and sometimes I find myself drawning a cartoon version of Noah and I. The worst thing that could happen to me is if he saw those drawings. God, I'd cry out of embarrassment. It would be so awful if that happened.
The teacher walks in just as a few people and in the mist of those few people I could spot a very familiar one. Noah walks in as well and I find myself smiling. I see him walking towards my row so I put a hand up for him to see so he can sit next to me but he just walks past like I'm invincible or something. I quickly drop my hand hoping no one saw it but unfortunately the girls behind me did and so they share a laugh. I frown looking forward.
"Everyone open to page fourteen, we have a lot to catch up on there", Miss Emery says and we all open okay maybe some people. Others are either gossiping or just staring into space like Noah. He catches my eye and smiles. I look away. If he thinks I'm going to smile back then he's a joker.
After the class I pack my things. I'm usually slow and I honestly think it benefits me sometimes cause instead of pushing myself with other people just to get out the door I'm sitting here and just taking my time so when the door is all cleared I can go freely. Although it has a bad side which is the probability of getting late to the next class.
Once I'm done packing up. I get out of my seat and I'm shocked to meet Noah standing right in front of me.
"Hi Princess", he smiles with so much charm and it's like I'm getting lost in just his dimples. Get a hold of yourself Abby.
I try to move past him but he stops me. His smile turns upside down, "Hey what's wrong?", He asks and I sigh.
"Why did you avoid me just now?", I ask with a frown of my own.
"I didn't, you did", he says and I roll my eyes.
"Yeah whatever", I say walking away he follows behind. I stop to look at him, "You're not following me to my next class, are you?", I question.
"I am",
"Why?",
"Because my next class is your next class. Have you suddenly forgotten our timetable?", He asks with a raised brow and realization washes over me. Oh yeah he's right, we have first and second together.
"Well with the way you miss classes these days I'm starting to forget you go here", I say and he chuckles.
"Don't be a meanie", he says ruffling my hair. I swat his hand.
"Noah do you know how long it took me to straighten this", I complain patting my hair down. I literally woke up early just to get it this straightened and it's not even close to perfect.
"Why'd you straighten it anyways?", He asks taking my hand in his. My heart is in my throat when we walk out of the class and into the hall way. Omg he's walking next to me and he's holding my freaking hand. This isn't a new thing but it's been so long since he's done something like this. Isn't he ashamed of walking with me? Doesn't he care if one his friends catches us walking together? Doesn't he care what they'd say about it?.
"I..", I trail totally forgetting what he was asking about.
"Trying to impress someone?", he asks with squinted eyes. Of course, I'm trying to make you look at me and it's like it worked today huh?. I shake my head.
"No, it was just too frizzy and hard to brush", I tell him and he nods. I notice the stares so I look down at my feet. They're all probably wondering what he's doing with me.
"Hey Abby", he calls out so I look up. "Can I come over tonight?". I'm both bewildered and happy. Is there any need to ask? I mean, c'mon.
"Of course", I say and he smiles. I smile back.
We walk into class and he lets go of my hand going to sit at the end of the class where his friends are. I guess he is embarrassed by me. I won't blame him. I mean, if I was hot and sexy like he was I wouldn't wanna hang out with a blob like me.
I move to sit by the window as usual. The teacher walks in and everyone settles down. He starts teaching and I'm lost scribbling stuff on my note. The class ends and I couldn't be more happier. It's finally lunch time. Like usual I'm the last to leave the class due to my deliberate slow packing.
Noah already left the class and I would like to say I don't care but I do. I actually miss the times where we went to lunch together. Just the two of us in a table but now I sit alone and he sits with the cool and popular kids cause that's what he is now, cool and popular and I could never match up to that level so the chances of him hanging out with me are very slim.
Sometimes I wonder if he still believes in the friendship we once had. A friendship that was so tight. It's almost unbelievable that we've become strangers all of a sudden.