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◢◤◢◤◢◤ Circuit 29 ◢◤◢◤◢◤
"We'll have the Market Burger, please," I said, confidently placing our order at the counter.
The server, a cheerful woman with two pigtails, took note of our order on a yellow-pad paper. "Two for dine-in?" she asked.
I glanced at Theo, mischief twinkling in my eyes. "Three," I said, giving him a playful nudge. He blushed slightly, clearly caught off guard, but didn't object.
The server scribbled down the additional burger and looked up at us with a smile. "Any drinks?"
"Just water," I replied, trying to suppress my growing excitement.
"Comin' right up!" the woman chirped before passing the order to the cook. "We'll be right with you."
"Great," I said, unable to contain my smile as I took our receipt. Turning to Theo, who still seemed a bit flustered, I reached out and grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers.
Then, with a mischievous glint in my eye, I strategically placed my cheek against his bicep, as if I were a lovesick puppy. I noticed a group of teenage girls nearby staring at Theo and whispering to themselves.
A wave of satisfaction washed over me. "Too bad he's here with me," I thought, rolling my eyes dramatically and batting my eyelashes when Theo opened the door for me.
As we walked out, I exaggerated my reaction to his gesture, successfully diverting the girls' attention away from him.
"Thanks! You're such a gentleman," I sighed dreamily, gazing up at Theo, who seemed oblivious to my theatrics. He led me to a small garden area under a teal umbrella, finding us a cozy spot.
"Maybe we could have just ordered takeout?" Theo mumbled after sitting down across from me. He placed his bag behind him and stared off into the distance, not once making eye contact.
I crossed my arms over my chest, a mix of annoyance and curiosity bubbling within me.
"Am I not worth a few more minutes of your time?" I feigned disappointment, dropping my chin onto my hand and fluttering my lashes at him. Darting my gaze around the vibrant greens surrounding us. The sun was shining, but a cool breeze from the nearby trees made it bearable.
"Look at this view you'll be missing out on," I added, trying to entice him.
Theo leaned back in his seat, still uninterested. "We've got this back in Whitehaven," he responded, his voice devoid of enthusiasm.
I furrowed my brow and narrowed my eyes, directing a menacing gaze at the side of his face. Damn that side profile, always making me feel things I shouldn't be feeling.
"I wanted some fresh air and a new environment to tap into my creativity," I stated firmly.
Theo simply stared back at me, seemingly emotionless. "Fresh environment or not, you can't force creativity. If it's not there, it's not there," he stated matter-of-factly. My mouth fell in disbelief and before I could respond, the server with two pigtails arrived, carrying our orders.
She placed them on the round table and swiftly returned with our glasses of water. "Enjoy your meal," she said cheerfully before leaving us alone.
Theo and I both mumbled our thanks, but the silence between us persisted as we began eating our burgers, not exchanging a single word.
My annoyance lingered, but hunger took precedence. I realized I had skipped breakfast and hadn't had time for a snack at school, and now I was starving.
I continued devouring my burger, becoming lost in the flavors and the satisfying sensation of fullness.
Suddenly, I noticed Theo elegantly wiping the side of his mouth, his eyes softened when he looked at me. "You need something?"
"Are you eating that?" he asked, pointing to the other burger on the side. His grey irises ignited with a glimmer.
Truthfully, that burger was meant for me, but something about the look in his eyes made me reconsider.
I swallowed my food slowly, savoring the moment, and replied, "I forgot to tell them it was for takeout, so you can eat it after practice."
"Oh," Theo responded, his mood shifting ever so slightly. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that."
I took a sip of my water and leaned back in my seat, feeling a mix of contentment and apprehension. The air between us felt charged, as if something significant was about to happen. And as Theo finished the burger I had given him, I couldn't help but giggle at the sight.
"I hope I didn't starve you that much," I teased playfully, feeling a warmth spreading through my chest. "Are you sure you don't want anything else? The milkshake looks tempting."
"No, you didn't. I'm not supposed to eat heavy meals before any extreme exercises, but thank you for this," he replied, his words laced with genuine gratitude.
Reluctantly, I straightened up in my seat, even though I yearned to linger and soak up this moment with him. It was nearing five o'clock, and we would have to deal with rush hour traffic if we didn't leave soon.
"Maybe next time," I thought to myself, picturing a different setting— a beach, frozen yogurt, a late-night drive. The location didn't matter as long as Theo was by my side.
Lost in my thoughts, I failed to hear Theo calling my name until he caught my wrist gently. Startled, I turned around, snapping out of my daydream.
"Hey, Ola?" he said, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
"S-sorry," I stammered, quickly forcing a smile. "Were you saying something?"
He hesitated for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I, uh, I was just going to ask you something, but it's stupid. N-nevermind."
"No, tell me," I insisted, instantly feeling guilty for not giving him my full attention earlier.
"Oh, uh . . . It's Thea's birthday tomorrow, and there's this thing at my house. She asked me if you wanted to come, and I was wondering if you want to," he finally blurted out, his voice laced with nervousness.
"I would love to," I replied, a surge of excitement coursing through me. His eyes, those captivating grey eyes, locked onto mine, and I felt a flutter in my heart.
"But what about your dad?" I asked, knowing that his father's disapproval had been a significant obstacle in our blooming relationship. Still, his answer wouldn't change my decision. I was going to go, no matter what.
Theo didn't take long to respond. "He knows I'm inviting close friends of mine."
I should have been thrilled that he considered me significant enough to invite, but I was even more pleased to have secured my place among his "close friends." It was definitely a start.
"What do you think I should get Thea?" I asked, wanting to make her birthday memorable.
The little girl had slowly grown on me like a little sister I'd never had. We hadn't spent much time with each other but I was already smitten. Unlike her brother, she was much more outgoing and I loved the feeling of a big sister.
"You don't have to bring anything," Theo assured me.
"I can't do that. She'll expect me to bring something," I replied, determined to make a good impression.
As we continued our meal, the conversation flowed more easily between us. And as he informed me about his plans for Thea's birthday, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement for what lay ahead.
With each passing moment, I was growing more attached to Theo, and I knew that no matter the challenges, I was willing to face them head-on. This was the beginning of something, and I was eager to see where it would take us.
As we finished our meal and took pictures, it was time to head back to our school. Theo had soccer practice, and I didn't want to be a burden by tagging along, so I insisted on being dropped off at the closest bus stop.
"You sure you don't want me to drop you off?" Theo asked, concern evident in his voice.
I mustered a smile, masking the tinge of disappointment that crept into my heart. "It's fine, really. I don't want to take too much of your time when you should be at practice. I'll take the bus."
Theo hesitated, looking torn between wanting to spend more time with me and fulfilling his commitment to the team. "Are you sure? It's getting late."
"I'll be fine. I'm a big girl, aren't I?"
After a moment of contemplation, he finally agreed, albeit reluctantly.
"Alright, if you insist," he said, his eyes searching mine as if trying to decipher my true feelings.
Deep down, I held onto a glimmer of hope that he would change his mind and ask me to come along. I was secretly hoping he'd ditch his practice to hang out with me for a little longer or bring me with him to watch.
I put on a brave face, hiding my disappointment behind a facade of understanding. "Have a great practice, Theo. I'll see you tomorrow."
He gave me a sheepish smile, a mixture of guilt and longing in his eyes. "Thanks, Ola. I'll see you soon."
With a heavy heart, I stepped out of the car, watching as Theo drove away. As the distance between us grew, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness deep within. But as Theo drove past the traffic without turning back, my heart sank. He was sticking to his decision, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of longing to be by his side.
I waited at the bus stop, feeling a mix of melancholy and anticipation, a familiar car pulled up beside me. It was Russell, wearing a mischievous grin.
"Oi, Sainz! What a small world," he called out cheerfully. "Need a ride?"
Surprised and slightly puzzled, I approached the car. "Russell, what are you doing here? I thought you had plans."
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, I was just on my way home but Kade ditched me to go to practice. It's getting dark. So, hop in!"
A wave of warmth washed over me as I realized that Theo had thought of my well-being, even when he couldn't be there himself. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about his feelings for me.
Grateful for Russell's unexpected company, I climbed into the car, feeling a glimmer of hope reignite within me. "You're my savior, you know that?"
As we drove off, Russell and I engaged in lighthearted banter, momentarily distracting me from the lingering sadness of parting ways with Theo. In that moment, I couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for his offer.
What were the chances he would be in the same place as I am?
"What are you doing in Sierra Madre anyways?"
"Uh . . ." I thought of a quick cover-up. "Just being a tourist, yanno."
Russell remained silent, so I turned up the radio to fill the sound of whirring traffic before turning the question to him, curiosity getting the better of me, "And you? What were you up to?"
He flashed me a panicked look and awkwardly cleared his throat, "Oh, just thought I'd give you a surprise ride. I happened to be in the area and thought, why not?"
I raised an eyebrow, not fully convinced by his explanation. But before I could press further, Russell smoothly changed the subject, distracting me with a funny anecdote from his day.
We chatted and laughed, the conversation flowing effortlessly between us. Russell was starting to become one of my closest friends here, and his presence brought a sense of comfort, like there were no expectations between us.
As we neared my neighborhood, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that I hadn't been able to spend more time with Theo. However, I quickly brushed those thoughts aside, reminding myself of the trust and understanding we shared.
"Thanks for the ride, Russell," I said gratefully as we pulled up in front of my house.
He grinned lazily. "Anytime, Sainz. See you around."
"Yeah, see you."
"And one more thing-" he muttered, catching my attention. Russell's expression turned serious, his playful demeanor fading for a moment. "Don't rely on public transportation to get around places, it's not safe. There's a bunch of crackheads walking the streets. If you need a ride, call me."
I blinked at his words. It couldn't be as bad as where I was from, could it?
I simply nodded. "I'll look out for myself, thanks."
He nudges his head to the side. "Now, go inside so I can leave. I'll catch up with you later."
With a nod, I stepped out of the car and watched as Russell drove off, leaving me standing there with a mixture of emotions swirling inside me.
As I entered the house, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. A nagging thought tugged at the back of my mind, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
Later that evening, I found myself lost in a whirlwind of thoughts about Theo, our budding connection, and the unexpected turn of events. The hint of hope that had flickered within me earlier burned a little brighter, fueling my imagination with possibilities.
But as the night wore on, I could only hold onto the spark of hope and the memories we were going to create. It was was uncertain, but I was ready to embrace it with open arms, guided by the invisible hand of fate and the undeniable bond that had begun to blossom between us.
This was the moment I've been waiting for.
As I laid on my back, preparing to drift off to sleep, an idea sprouted in my mind like a delicate blossom. Swiftly, I reached for my phone, my fingers quivering with anticipation, and navigated to Theo's contact, my teeth sinking into the flesh of my cheek.
'Hey, I got home safely! Just wanted to let you know' I typed, my heart skipping a beat with each word.
I was on the verge of shutting off my device when the screen illuminated with three animated dots, a sign of life on the other end. The surge of excitement coursing through my veins threatened to catapult me onto the bed in jubilation as I cradled the phone in my jittery fingers.
Theo: ???
I fought to compose myself, suppressing the overwhelming urge to press the FaceTime button and connect with him instantly. Instead, I mustered my resolve and replied, "You told me to message you if I made it safely. Well, here I am!"
Theo: I don't remember saying that...
His words washed over me, momentarily puncturing the bubble of elation that had enveloped me. I found myself mentally rolling on the other side of the bed, clutching my phone above my head, imagining his reaction if he were physically present.
Even though I doubted he would be grinning from ear to ear, I let my imagination wander into a realm where his smile would grace his face.
"What can I say, I'm delusional," I mumbled playfully under my breath, attempting to brush off his forgetfulness.
'You are so forgetful! It's okay, it can happen to the best of us.'
Theo: ???
I rolled my eyes at his curt response, feeling a twinge of frustration bubbling within me. Could this guy at least pretend to be interested in what I was saying? It was as if he didn't care, and the realization stung.
But instead of dwelling on it too deeply, I resolved to inject some excitement into our conversation, hoping to elicit longer, more engaged responses from him.
'You're not asleep yet?'
I probed, eager to prolong our conversation.
Theo: I wouldn't be texting you if I were.
This time, I couldn't contain my silence, and an offended gasp escaped my lips. What was with him? I nibbled anxiously on my thumb, desperately searching for another topic to discuss.
'How was practice?'
I held my breath as I awaited his response. Silence enveloped the moment, punctuated only by the soft ticking of the wall clock to my right, amplifying my nervous anticipation.
Just when I began to believe that he had drifted off to sleep, the screen flickered to life once again.
Theo: It was okay. Coach had us stay for another two hours.
A natural frown etched its way onto my lips as I shifted to my side, disappointed that my day had come to an end, while secretly wishing it had lingered on with Theo.
Mere hours ago, I had eagerly anticipated the solace of slumber, my exhausted body yearning for rest. Yet now, my heavy eyelids refused to close as I found myself compelled to respond.
'You must be tired then. I'll leave you alone now so you can get some rest,' I typed, a tinge of melancholy coloring my words as I resigned myself to the end of our conversation.
My fingers itched, desperate to add a heart emoji, as my heart yearned for that simple symbol to convey the depth of my emotions. Yet, a rational voice within me held back, cautioning against it. I couldn't risk jeopardizing my chances of becoming Theo's trusted friend, the one person he felt completely at ease with.
It was a delicate dance, balancing my longing for intimacy with the fear of overwhelming him.
The struggle was rooted in a trait I despised about myself: my tendency to divulge too much, too soon, without understanding the importance of setting boundaries with those I had just met.
Often, I remained oblivious to this flaw, until someone pointed out how suffocating it could be for them. Only then did I grasp the need to create distance, to let others breathe freely.
The timing of these realizations always eluded me. When I approached people, I did so with an open heart, without the notion of tiptoeing around their feelings. My intentions were pure, fueled by an earnest desire to forge genuine connections.
Perhaps this was one of the drawbacks of being an only child—the perpetual craving for more. If it wasn't the longing for a sibling, it was the insatiable need for someone's undivided attention.
In the depths of my soul, I wanted for Theo's friendship to transcend the surface level. I yearned for him to understand that my affection, though seemingly overwhelming, was an offering born from the depths of my being.
And so, I fought against the urge to send that heart emoji, striving to strike the perfect balance between vulnerability and restraint. Deep down, I hoped that Theo would see past my flaws and appreciate the sincerity with which I approached him.
As I prepared to press the send button, a burst of unexpected excitement coursed through me when a new message from Theo appeared on the screen, almost as if he couldn't bear the thought of our conversation coming to an end.
Theo: Yeah, I'm tired, but talking to you helps keep me awake.
My heart skipped a beat at his response, a warmth spreading through my chest. Could it be that Theo secretly wanted to continue our conversation? I bit my lower lip, suppressing a growing smile as my imagination conjured up visions of him eagerly typing away on the other end.
A surge of courage propelled me to extend our exchange, despite the earlier signs of disinterest.
'Well, if I can help keep you awake, then I'm more than happy to chat a little longer,' I replied, my fingers tingling with anticipation.
Theo: I appreciate that. It's nice to have someone to talk to.
A flutter danced in my stomach at his words, as if a flock of delicate butterflies had taken flight. The realization that I could be that someone for Theo sent my heart into a whirlwind of hope and possibility. Perhaps there was more to our connection than I had initially thought.
Grinning ear to ear, I settled back into my pillow, feeling a renewed surge of energy. Sleep could wait a little longer; this conversation was worth every moment of wakefulness. With newfound enthusiasm, I typed my next message.
'So, tell me, what's the most interesting thing that happened to you today? I want to hear all about it,' I said, eager to dive into his world and discover the hidden treasures that lay within his experiences.
As I awaited his reply, unaware of the subtle smile that adorned Theo's face on the other side, I felt a flicker of excitement that whispered of the endless possibilities that awaited us— two souls, slowly weaving their stories together, one message at a time.
Seconds turned into minutes, yet no response came. Doubt began to creep in, mingling with the hope that had bloomed inside me. The silence grew heavy, suffocating my enthusiasm, and a knot tightened in my stomach. Was I being too forward? Did he not find me interesting enough to share his thoughts?
Trying to dispel the rising unease, I shook off the negative thoughts and waited a bit longer. Finally, a message from Theo illuminated the screen, but it was not the response I had eagerly anticipated.
Theo: Sorry, I'm really tired. Let's talk some other time.
My heart sank like an anchor dropped into a vast ocean of disappointment. It was as if my buoyant hopes had been abruptly deflated, leaving me adrift in a sea of uncertainty.
'It's okay. Get some rest. We can talk whenever you're free.'
Theo: Thanks. Talk to you later.
Theo's curt response mirrored the hollow ache in my chest, leaving me longing for more. With a heavy sigh, I set my phone aside, the weight of unrequited feelings settling upon me.
As I lay in the stillness of the night, the emptiness echoed through the room, reminding me that the boundaries I had failed to establish had become a chasm between us.
The stark realization washed over me, leaving me questioning if my extroverted nature had pushed him away, while his reserved personality kept me at arm's length.
I lay in bed, my tired body yearning for rest, ready to succumb to the embrace of sleep. Just as I was about to respond to her message, the sound of my bedroom door creaking open shattered the tranquility of the night. Dread washed over me as my strict father stepped into the room, his disapproving gaze piercing through the darkness.
"Why are you still awake?" his voice sliced through the air, sharp and demanding.
My heart raced, adrenaline coursing through my veins as I tried to come up with a plausible explanation.
I clutched my phone tightly, hoping against hope that my phone would remain hidden beneath my pillow. The thought of my father discovering our late-night conversation filled me with unease— a lecture about focus, discipline, and the importance of sleep for an athlete like me would surely follow.
"I couldn't sleep. Just... thinking about things," I stammered, my voice betraying the nervousness that coursed through me.
My father's brows furrowed, suspicion etching lines on his face. His eyes lingered on me, as if he could see through my feeble excuse. The weight of his disappointment bore down on me, his unspoken accusation hanging in the air like a heavy fog.
"Thinking about things?" he repeated, his voice laced with skepticism. "You need to prioritize your sleep, Theo. You can't afford distractions when it comes to sports and academics."
My heart sank as he mentioned distractions, my mind immediately connecting the dots to the girl I had been conversing with. Did he suspect that she was the reason for my recent lack of focus? The thought tightened the knot in my stomach, a mix of guilt and frustration swirling within me.
"No, Dad, it's not like that," I protested, desperation coloring my voice. "I'm just...going through some stuff, but it won't affect my performance."
His stern gaze remained fixed on me, his disappointment palpable. "I hope you're telling the truth, Theo. Soccer and your future should be your main priorities. There's no room for failure."
I nodded, the weight of his words pressing down on me. Deep down, I knew he was right, but a part of me longed for understanding, for someone to see beyond the surface and recognize the complexities of my emotions.
As my father turned to leave, I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. The relief mingled with a tinge of sadness, knowing that I had to put a temporary halt to our conversation.
I slipped my phone back under the pillow, its presence a reminder of the connection I was forced to temporarily sever.
In the silence of the room, I grappled with conflicting emotions. Ola, her messages, and the allure of our late-night conversation lingered in my mind, tempting me to defy my father's expectations. But for now, I had to focus on the path laid out before me, even if it meant putting aside the enigmatic allure of a potential connection.
There's no room for failure.
Hello, I'm back! There's no need to explain why I was gone for so long. My dumbass chose to enroll in summer classes, which resulted in additional obligations being placed on my shoulders.
Furthermore, I took so long to write this because I am never pleased with anything. Even though there are literally thousands of reads on this book, I'm overwhelmed. Let's just say I trashed five drafts of this chapter before finally settling on this one. I decided that I would never achieve that degree of contentment, but that is something my overthinking mind will have to cope with.
My fear of criticism will never disappear and it gets worse every time I see the rapid growth of this book! Argh, idk, I'm unhinged, but also grateful. I love you! Thank you.
~vee