"Oh god" she said.
"What's up?" I asked.
"There's an entire article about us" she sighed. as she showed me the page.
It had a bunch of pictures of us together.
"Too close for comfort?" the title said.
The article spoke about how they didn't wanna assume anything but that they read about all the speculations online, and saw the footages, and they made an observation.
I saw the pictures of us.
They were of us on the parkinglot that day she asked me to be her girlfriend, eventhough of that one they weren't 100% sure it was us still.
Some pictures taken at the party we were at.
Some taken in a backstage of wherever we were.
And then an article about how someone saw us in the bathroom acting really weird when they walked in.
Which was to be expected.
I was nervous and worried about Billie's reaction, would she run again?
"Oh well" she said to my surprise.
Which she saw on my face.
"It's okay, I'm used to it by now, and I promised I won't run away again, so I don't" she smiled softly.
I could see it was on her mind even if she pretended it was all good.
I know it worried her. I know it stayed on her mind, and I understood.
"Well if there's one nice thing about it, it's seeing us together, knowing what really happened during those moments" she said.
I smiled. "Yes indeed, instead of the speculations people create"
"I do really appreciate you putting up with me you know"
"Putting up with you?" I laugh.
"Yeah, not being able to be like a normal couple, to call it that way" she said "Like I know you say you're fine, but like, it must be staying on your mind, I know that"
I look at the floor, cause she is right, I just don't want her to feel bad about it.
"It's okay you know, you can tell me"
I sigh "Yeah it's hard but it's worth it, I'm in love with you and I love our moments''
"I'm glad I love them too but it isn't easy for me either"
This was the first time she was expressing she had issues with the whole deal, I know she was struggling with herself but not with us not being public, so I listened.
"I wanna tell you that I wish I could show you off, and I know technically I can but you know why I also can't, but like, I'm in love with you, so deeply and my love language is touch, and not being able to do so constantly, is killing me"
I look concerned at her "I didn't know you felt like this" I said.
she nodded "you know.. I really do.."
She continued "like do you know how bad I just wanna do something.. Romantic"
"we can? Right here" I answer.
"that's not what I mean. I know we can but that's not... What I want "
I look at her confused.
"I mean I wanna be with you in the world, out there, you and me and just be close"
"I'm sorry my love that it's so heavy on you, Who knows maybe one day things will change"
Billie didn't answer.
"Until then I'm not going anywhere" I continued
"I truly hope that" she said, sounding so vulnerable.
"Baby.." I pulled her in my arms. "I'm yours"
She put her arms around me too "and I'm yours even if it doesn't always feel that way"
"It does baby, it does" I reassure her.
"You don't mind sharing me with the world?"
"I mean maybe a little cause I.. can be a bit possesive too but in general i don't mind no" I laugh.
She smiles and kisses my cheek " yeah you can be as possesive as you like my princess".
God this woman has my whole heart.
-
Billie was in the shower
I was just laying around, writing and watching something at the same time.
"Hi baby" she walked in to give me a kiss. with just a towel around her and her hair wet.
I swallowed, she looked so good. "Hi" I got out.
She smiled "what's up?"
"Nothing, you look good" I answered
"Thank you" she said. "I have to go to the studio, do you wanna come with us?"
"Of course" I said gladly.
Billie smiled "let's go my lady"
So I grabbed my stuff and we went.
Me, Finneas and Billie went to the studio.
They were working on some new stuff.
Which sounded great by the way
It was nice to see them at work.
To see the creative process.
I loved watching her doing her thing.
Just being in her element, being herself. Hearing her voice.
She smiled while having headphones up and singing. I must have been looking smitten
Cause Finneas was taking pics of me "Cutiessss" he laughed.
"Oh god" I said trying to hide my face.
He smiled.
I got a notification of being tagged in a story by Finneas.
He had posted the pictures he made of me.
I looked at him "are you sure Billie is fine with these?"
He shrugged "I don't really care, you're a part of my life too and I'm not gonna pretend you aren't"
I pouted because of how sweet that was and he opened his arms and I went in for the hug.
I loved him
"Hey" Billie took of her headphones "Stop hitting on my girlfriend" she joked.
I poked out my tongue and put my head on his shoulder and Fin put his finger up to Billie and pressed a friendly kiss on my head/hair.
"I'll fight you you know" she yelled.
"Come here then" Finneas said.
So she did and they started playfighting.
"God you're two kids" I laughed. "Let go of eachother"
Billie stood up and went to hold me. "I'll hold you instead then"
"I mean I won't protest." I said gladly.
She kissed me on the cheek
"Hey I'm still here'' Finneas joked.
"Sounds like a you problem" I said.
"Thanks, I'll remember that" Finneas said.
"I taught you well'' Billie laughed.
"Yeah Yeah let's go" Finneas said.
And we went back to the hotel.