Catfished by Billie Eilish

2. Matching

I was just swiping on my tinder, nothing interesting. 

I'm very picky, but all of a sudden I see someone who kinda gets my attention.

Her bio reads as followed 

Hoping to meet someone who actually has things to say. Who has a story. And who is perfectly themselves. 

As for me? What can I say. I'm a work in progress. 

I swipe right. Turns out it's an immediate match.

I leave it that way, I'm too shy to text first, even tho I am really interested.

I lock my phone. Put it away. 

Deciding to turn on some series.

I mainly spend my days alone, I am chronically ill and have autism.

I have a muscle illness and a bunch of other shit. My body wasn't meant to be a body basically.

I can still do stuff but I get pain easier and my life is unpredictable when it comes to how long I'll be able to do all the stuff I'd still like to do. I can't work either.

It makes me sad at times, I feel like I live behind a window and just watch people's lives pass in front of me and see them doing so much stuff someone of my age should be able to do. I envy them. Cause here I am, just spending my days between 4 walls.

The warmer temperatures are amazing to me, they automatically reduce my pain. but on bad days or if the temperature isn't at least 22 degrees. I basically have to stay inside so I don't end up in pain again. But unfortunately Belgium isn't the best place for great weather, I'd love to move to another country to be honest.

I live in a studio next to my parents so if I need help I can have it. But I still have my own life that way.

my phone buzzes. 

"Hey there!"  

Oh my.. it's the girl from tinder.

"hello!" I answer. Hoping it's not another small talk conversation, the typical "hey, how are you, what you doing" I HATE small talk. 

"Can you explain to me how you experience the world more intense?" She says

I smile. yes some interesting conversation

I start typing

"well, I see things people often miss, details in the world that just are beautiful, or well bad, cause unfortunately it also comes with feeling everything so intense it overtriggers me. But eh that's life."

"Sounds like a blessing and a curse"

I look surprised as that's always how I would describe it myself

"exactly! that's my mindset to"

she says " haha just a couple sentences in and I already read your mind"

before I can think of an answer she types something again

"Where are you from actually?"

"I live in this small town in the middle of nowhere in Belgium, near the border with the Netherlands. how about you?"

She takes a while to answer.

"Well actually I'm not from here. I am visiting soon"

Ofcourse, just my luck, a cool person and she's not even from Belgium. Oh well I mainly have friends from other countries anyway.