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sad, hurt, comfort, fluff
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Helena POV
"Hellie... I'm home!"
"I'm in the kitchen, love." I replied Y/N while I was doing the dishes. Not too long, I heard soft footsteps were getting approached and stopped behind me within a minute. A pair of arms slowly wrapped around my waist after they tickled me accidentally. I let out a small chuckle when I felt the chin pressed on my shoulder.
"How's the visit?"
"Good..." She mumbled in my back, still hugging me while I was trying to finish washing the dishes. She sounded tired.
"Darling... I'm doing the dishes.."
"Immm Hmmm" She hummed and snuggled her head on my back, pressing her body against mine. She let out the sigh which was not too obvious that she was upset, but I did. And I knew something had happened to her. I immediately turned to her and pulled her into my arms after taking off the washing gloves.
"Is everything okay?" I asked her, patting her back. She nodded her head against my chest.
"I just missed you."
"You had just gone for an hour, darling..."
"I know..." She mumbled.
"I miss you too." — I cupped her face and kissed her softly.
"Come on, we should go to bed."
"Imm Hmm... I really need to sleeeeep now." She said, yawning. We headed to the bedroom. As soon as we were in the room, Y/N threw herself on the bed and prepared to sleep without changing her clothes or taking her shoes off. She's really worn out.
"Y/N! Darling! I know you're exhausted but you need to change your clothes." I said, sitting on the bed and taking off her shoes.
"But- ."
"Nuh-huh... No 'buts'! You won't be comfortable in those. Come on... It doesn't take long." I said, patting her thigh.
I pulled and helped her to get up and took out her nightgown to change. Then, I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. A few minutes later, a soft door knock was heard.
*knock knock*
"May I join you?" She asked, peeping her head between the door and the door frame. After all these years, she still did that. She really respected my privacy and it's one of her adorable habits.
"Of course, love. You may."
She was wearing the different clothes which were not I chose for her. It's my mint green jersey. She paired it with her black pant.
"What?" She asked as she noticed I kinda stared at her.
"It's my jersey, isn't it?"
"Yes..."
"Yes?" — I rose my brows to the girl, smiling.
"Well... it's so much more comfortable than anything else I have... And I know you don't mind it."
"100% I don't mind, darling. To be honest, it suits you more. And it's kinda cute that you wear my clothes."
"Really?"
"Really."
We finally finished our daily night routine and prepared to go to sleep. Y/N was already on the bed, stretching her tense body like a star fish. She was really a child sometimes. I smiled at my thought and settled myself beside her. She moved her body to other side so I could place myself. She moved closer back to me and snuggled up her face to my chest.
She's strangely quiet and clingy to me today. I didn't want to ask why as I love her presence and being close to me. But I knew something was really bothering her little mind. I would ask her, but not now. She's extremely tired and she needed me. I spooned her and hummed random songs while I was playing with her hair or patting her back. She melted into my simple little gestures. It didn't take long to send her to the dreamland. I heard her soft snoring as she was getting into deep sleep.
"Good Night, my love. I love you so much."
I kissed her forehead before I closed my eyes and slowly let myself down to the darkness, joining her in the dreamland.
✨🦋✨
** the next day **
Y/N still didn't look so good. Well, not physically but mentally. It started since she came back from her parents. She's being quiet the whole morning. She just answered the questions I asked her. She did not distance herself though. Besides, she tried to find a reason to stay with me the whole time.
After we had had our lunch, we watched a random show on Netflix, cuddling up to each other. I played her hair and rubbed her arm as I knew how she loved it whenever I did that to her.
"Hel?" She said out of the blue, locking her eyes to the show.
"Yes, darling."
"I want you to come with me to somewhere if you don't mind. To somewhere... I want you to meet her. She's really important to me and my life. Is that okay?"
"It's more than okay, darling. I'd love to. When shall we go?"
"How about now?"
"Now? OK. Let's change the clothes and go then." She nodded as a response. She's a kinda mysterious person. I didn't know where she wanted me to go with her. But I trusted her. And I knew she wouldn't do anything stupid, so whatever she did, I would follow her.
When we were finished, we locked the doors and headed to our car. Y/N was the one who was going to drive as she knew the location. I placed myself in the passenger seat and she started the engine when we were ready.
The whole time, it was completely silent but not uncomfortable silence. Y/N's eyes looked sadder than before and also looked anxious. I'd never seen her that miserable before. I took her free hand in mine and interlocked. I slightly squeezed and rubbed the back of her hand gently as a sign of affection and assurance. She looked at me with her glossy eyes, wearing weak smile before her eyes locked to the road again.
She stopped where it was her destination. She parked the car and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't let you know where you are taken." — hanging her head.
"Hey... It's okay. I might be wondering where we are going but I believe you. That's why I follow you without questioning."
She let out a sigh before giving me weak sad smile.
"It's my... my grandma."
"Oh..."
"Today's the day she's officially gone for four years. The last time I came here was when I got back from school. It's the first and final time." Y/N explained, trying to stay clam.
Y/N's grandma died four years ago. She was her grandma's girl as she was like a daughter to her grandma. She was brought up by her grandma because her mother gave birth her sister and had to take care of the little girl.
Y/N was away when her grandmother passed away. She couldn't come back as she had to sit for the final exam. Besides, she had no idea about her grandmother's death. Y/N saw the news on social media since one of her aunts posted it. She cried her heart out when she found out about her grandma's death. But she pretended like she didn't know about it whenever she talked to her parents on phone.
Her parents didn't let her know about it as they want her to finish her studies. I heard this from her sister. I couldn't imagine how she felt at that time. She had to study for her exam and grieved for her grandma at the same time. I know how she meant to Y/N although she rarely talked about her grandma.
"Thank you, darling. It'd be my honour to meet her. I've always wanted to meet her. Thank you for sharing this moment with me." I said, giving her smile and brought my lips to her rosy cheek and gently pressed on it.
"Shall we go?" Y/N asked after thinking for some times.
"Only if you're ready, love"
She nodded — "I think I'm ready."
We climbed down from the car. Y/N took a really deep, shaky breath when I stood up near her and interlocked her hand in mine. I brought our interlocked hands to my lips and pressed my lips on her side softly as a gesture of assurance and I wanted her to know that it would be okay because I could see her uneasiness.
Y/N POV
I led the way as I exactly knew where she was buried. We had to walk a long path. I remembered every single thing which was lying along the way to grandma. The nearer the grave got, the more nervous I became. My heart was getting heavier with every moving steps. When the tomb heaved in sight of mine, the breath caught in my throat. The rhythm of my steady heart beats changed into really quick pace. I tried to suppress the panic. But I failed. My subconscious mind took over my body and squeezed Helena's hand, which made her worry.
"Darling... You don't have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable. We can go back home if you want." Helena crooned, slightly squeezing my hand.
"No... I'm okay." I said , giving her soft smile. I knew she could see how much I was hurting and at the same time, I was trying to be strong. I took a deep breath to give myself some courage and slowly make our way to my grandma.
All of the sudden, the whole world became quiet and the movements around us were moving too slowly, like a movie. I was not sure whether my own body was making a move in reality. Everything was in slow motion. Eventually, our slow little steps brought us clearer vision of the grave. It was not far from us and I could feel the tears were streaming down on my face. The pressure in my chest grew second to second.
Helena noticed my situation and wrapped one of her arms around me and rubbed my forearm to comfort me. With one final step to the grave, so many memories were floating into my mind that made me burst out sobbing. I couldn't help myself from falling on my knees, covering my face with my trembled hands after seeing the name cut into the gave. She was really gone. The realisation broke my heart into pieces.
Helena immediately came to my side and comforted me, embracing me and whispering in my ear that everything was going to be okay.
"Oh... My darling girl... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm here for you. Everything is gonna be okay.. I'm sorry, dear. I'm so sorry..."
"She's gone, Hel... She's really gone... She's- She's GONEE...." I wailed desperately.
"Shhh... Shhh... I know, dear... I know."
"I miss her so much... An- and I want her back... I want her... back!"
"I know how much you want her back, love. But we can't bring her back as much as I want to do that for you. I'm so sorry." She continued comforting me, kissing in my hair and on my temple.
"I- I couldn't say "I love you" for the last time... And- and ... I couldn't say "goodbye" or give her a hug. I- I should do that when we met for the last time! She was always there for me, but I wasn't when it was her last time and she needed me. I wasn't... I should be there for her..."
"Shh... I know, Lil. I know how you hurt. I know it hurts. I'm so sorry I can't do anything for it but I promise I'll be here for you through thick and thin. It's gonna be okay. Shh..."
After a long time of being silent and keeping suppressed all my emotions about my grandma, it looked like it's about time to let them all out. Even my deepest regret was coming out of my mouth, letting know the other woman who was comforting me.
"When she was ill, I didn't go and meet her very often. And she was just upstairs and I was always in my room. As a teenager, people say that's normal but every time I think about that time, it's such a disaster. Full of regret! I should company with her more. When we couldn't go to her, she came to us, Hel.. She came to us!"
I cried harder. My heart hurt more and more with the thoughts of each of the things I did and I didn't do for her. I completely collapsed against Helena's chest, gripping the fabric of the woman's blouse in my fist. Helena held me tight as if she was afraid I was going to fade away when she released me from the embrace. She just hushed and soothed me for some time, letting me pour all the heavier weight inside of my heart out.
"Hey... Shh... Shh... It's not your fault, darling. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself for it. I know you didn't mean it. I know you didn't want to be like that. So don't hard on yourself. Let me tell you that, whatever happened it's not your fault. I believe she had the best time with you. I believe she would forgive you and understand you. She know you love her so much. And you know how much she adored you, right?"
After hearing what she said, my cries began to an end. I nodded against her chest, sniffing.
"Well, then, let me dry the tears off. I bet she doesn't want to see her favourite girl crying, does she?"
I shook my head shyly. She padded the tears with her thumbs softly.
"Show me where your sweetest smile is."
I smiled through my tears which made her relieved.
"There it is!" She cheered me up, kissing my forehead.
"Thank you so much, Hel"
"For what, darling?"
"For everything..."
She kissed my lips softly — "It'll always be my pleasure, darling. Shall we greet your grandma? Properly?" I nodded, taking her arm as she helped me to stand up.
"Grandma, this is Helena, my love of my life." — I looked at her, lacing my hands with hers. — "She is such a pure angel. She brings a lot of joy and happiness to my life. I want you to meet her because I want you to know how much she makes me happy and how I feel safe with her like I was with you. So you don't need to worry about me."
"Thank you for taking care of her and bringing up such an angel. I promise you that she'll never be lonely again and I will always make sure she is happy. I will take care of her not less than you did. You have my words." Helena promised to grandma and that made me smile. How lucky am I to have such a beautiful, caring, wonderful woman in my life!
"Thank you." — I kissed her hand gently. — "Shall we go back home?"
Helena nodded.
"Goodbye, Grandma. I will visit you later."
"Goodbye. Don't worry about Y/N. I will take care of her."
After saying goodbye to my grandma, we were back to the car. This time, the one who drove the car was Helena as I was so worn out that she wouldn't let me drive even I insisted that I was okay. I couldn't win the game because I was actually exhausted so I gave up and had to agree with her. We took our seats and she started the engine.
I laid my head down against the window and watched all the things along the road, started to zoom out. I felt a hand on my thigh, gently rubbing in comforting way. I took the hand and lace it in mine. I turned my head's direction to the woman I love most in the world. I loved to admire her, especially her side profile. She was just so perfect. How could a person be that beautiful and gorgeous?
When she felt I stared at her, she turned her attention to me and found me looking at her.
"What? Is there something on my face?"
"Yep."
"Where?" — she wiped her face with her hand and that made me laugh. She was so innocent that I could tease her easily.
"Oh, Come on, Y/N! Don't be naughty!" She pouted.
"It's your beauty, Hellie!"
"You...! Unbelievable!" — she said, smiling, shaking her head slightly.
"Really... You have no idea how beautiful, elegant and gorgeous you are."
"Tell me." She chuckled.
"Your eyes... I always love since the day I met you. That deep, brown eyes are always full of kindness. I love how they are sparkling and shiny in the sun or when you smile or see something interesting. And your lips.. They're rosy, soft and beautiful. Your cheeks... I love how they turned into red or pink whenever I said something sweet to you just like now. Your nose... It's just so pretty. I love to see your glasses hanging on the bridge of your nose. It's really adorable. Your smile is always my favourite and so is your laugh. It's really easy to spread. And your soft skin... and there's more I love about youuu..." — I slurred the last sentence as I couldn't help myself from sleeping. My exhausted eyes were getting close even though I tried to wide open.
"Shh... So let's talk about them later, darling. Why don't you take a nap? I will wake you up when we're home."
That was the last voice came into my ears. I didn't know I nodded as a response or did something as I was beaten by the darkness.
Helena POV
Y/N gave up fighting with her own self from the slumber as soon as she heard my words. She had gone through so much. She needed a good sleep or rest. I couldn't stop thinking about the early situation.
the pain in her eyes...
It would be like a tattoo which would be with me til I died. I couldn't bare seeing her like this. But I felt kinda relief after seeing her smile as she let all the things out which made her mind light.
I looked at the girl who was in her deep sleep, sometimes inhaling sharply because of the previous heartbroken sobbing session.
"I wish I could take away all of the pain in you, my darling girl." I whispered to myself.
✨🦋✨
Once I stopped the car, I looked at Y/N who had no idea that we were finally home. She was so peaceful in her sleep that I couldn't even imagine to wake her up. Therefore, I decided to carry to our room. I had no clue how she was exhausted that she didn't even flicker her eyes when I made some movements. Finally, I placed her on the bed and covered her with her favourite blanket. I pressed my lips on her forehead gently.
"I lowve you, Hel." She slurred in her sleep which made me smile.
"I love you too, love." I said softly, before I climbed down from the bed and headed to the wardrobe room for changing my clothes and taking some comfy clothes for Y/N. I placed myself beside her, half lying down on the bed, holding a book I am hooked on.
A moment later, Y/N moved near me, snuggled up to the side of my belly. I put my hand on her head and played with her hair, continuing my reading.
"Hel?" She slurred in her half sleep.
"Imm Hmm?"
"Can we stay like this? Cuddling?"
"Of course, darling. But what if you are hungry?"
"Then, we will go to the kitchen and have it. But, for now, I wanna stay like this, in your arm, getting close to you. It's comfortable."
"It's good to hear, dear." I replied, rubbed her back and forearm up and down in comforting way.
The rest of the day went by, cuddling with her, reading her favourite poem, having our favourite meal and watching sunset together while we were having tea. It was always delightful and treasured moment for me to spend my time with her.
Seeing her happy, safe and comfortable was the only thing I wished for. And I would always make sure she felt loved and happy like I promised to her grandma. I would keep my promise til I died.
started date : 24/may/2023 (00:20 a.m)
ended date : 20/june/2023 (23:30 p.m)
Words Count- 3410
A.N
-Well, I finally finished it.
-Actually, I haven't even seen my grandma's grave yet. At least once. That's why I imagine it.
-Thank you so much for 2k reads !
And again, thank you so much for your time, and read my book with love, patience and kindness.