19.
the secret sharer
November 16, 1995.
it had been almost two weeks since i had seen doug. i begged mark to put me on nights, i was on days a couple times but doug either wasn't there or i avoided him.
last night i turned on the news to see him in a helicopter trying to get a drowning kid to the hospital.
and now i had to go to a event, honouring him for doing it.
you see what i mean about the saviour complex..
i put an overcoat over my high neck, black dress. i slipped on black heels and headed out the door.
the cold november air blew through my blown out hair. i was so tired. i just got home in the late morning from my night shift. then i had some other errands to run after that and i only slept for about three hours.
this event was from walking distance from my apartment so, i arrived there pretty quickly.
i looked around and mark wasn't there yet. i made a beeline to the bar.
it was really fancy. fancy music was playing and there were a bunch of fancy people lingering.
i ordered a cocktail and sipped it.
"can i take your coat ms?" a man asked me
"sure" i smiled.
i glanced at doug, who had unfortunately noticed me.
"martini, extra olive?" he asked
i stared at him blankly.
"you going to avoid me forever?"
i downed the rest of my cocktail
"i'm surprised you came" he added
"i'm surprised i came too"
"mark told me what you're doing to yourself"
he smiled
"why are you throwing your life away?"
"you pushed me away, mark away and now your work away"
"you're a good doctor you know" i added
he titled his head and smirked at me.
i scoffed.
he went back to go play pool as i began to walk away.
before mark came i downed a few more cocktails, i was feeling a little tipsy to say the least.
marks speech was foggy to me, i remember parts of it. it was all about doug though. mark talked about how amazing of a doctor he was and how heroic he was. i didn't doubt that, we just weren't in the right place right now.
"you should probably go home y/n" mark said.
"why's that?" i smiled
"can you get her coat?" he asked the worker.
"of course sir"
he came back and put it on for me.
"i'll see you at work mark"
"goodnight"
i began walking home but then i heard footsteps follow me close behind.
i stopped for a moment and when i turned my head over my shoulder, i saw doug. he took a couple steps closer to me and wrapped me in a hug.
"i'm sorry" he whispered
i nodded.
for some reason i keep going back to ross but also, i could tell that the sorry this time was real.