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Y/N's POV, Late 1986
I loved everything about Nikki Sixx, he was just one of those people, however, he was probably the most stubborn human being I've ever met in my entire life.
His strong will was genuinely a nice trait to have but in certain situations, it was a huge drawback. Like when Nikki's sick for example, like right now, he'd caught a cold from somewhere, a decently nasty one too actually but would he admit that? No.
I noticed last night he was not himself, a little sniffly, coughing a few times too many but he insisted he was fine, he insisted and insisted then when we woke up this morning, he was worse... but did he say that? Of course he didn't, he still said there was nothing wrong with him when he looked and sounded like death.
Nikki had a recording session today, only a demo recording session but it was work and Nikki hated missing out on work, so, although he was really not okay, he was telling me he could go in and I was telling him the opposite.
"Nikki, please, for the love of god, for once in your life, listen to me. You can't go in, I know you know that you're just being an ass about it."
"It's my job babe, this album needs to be great-"
"It will be." I cut him off swiftly "These are only demo sessions, are you guys work relentlessly to get your albums the way you want and you still will... come on, for once, just take a day or two. You're no use to anyone like this."
"Like what?"
"Like this." I say gesturing to his person "You look like hell just took refuge in your face and you sound like you've swallowed shattered glass shards, you're going fucking nowhere, Sixx. Lay you ass down." I huffed with an eye roll, pushing him back down into bed as he'd tried to get up "I knew you were coming down with something yesterday but you were stubborn and wouldn't admit it and if it was up to you, you'd still be denying it now."
"Yeah, cause I'm fine." Nikki insists and tried to get up again but once again, I pushed him down.
"Nope. Stay where you are. You've got a temperature, I don't even need to get a thermometer to know that, seriously, you're in no state to go anywhere. Give up trying, we both know you're in no state to go in today. Album be damned for a few days, you're more important."
"Doc will throw a hissy fit."
"I'll throw a damn hissy fit then Doc'll be the damn least of your problems. And since when did you give a shit about what Doc thought? You didn't and you don't, you're just saying that cause you wanna go. Your dedication to your work is admirable, but I doubt Vince, Tommy, Mick or anyone else will appreciate catching whatever germs you have."
"They have enough germs, I doubt they'd notice if I gave them a few more."
"Nik."
The bassist sighed and maintained eye contact with me and I didn't back down and because Nikki knew I was right even if he hated it, he eventually backed down and crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze moving to the duvet below "Fine. I'll just sit here and waste a day of my life."
"Overdramatic ass." I huffed, leaning down and kissing the man's forehead softly "I'll go make you a coffee and take some tablets, help ease you up a bit."
"Make it alcoholic."
"If it'll shut you up for a little while then yeah, I will." I huffed walking out the room to go downstairs and make said coffee, and I could have sworn I heard Nikki laugh to himself as I left, making it clear that he was purposely being an annoying dick.
It wasn't news to me but it was nice to have confirmation that he knew he wasn't in any state to leave, though I do believe there was some truth in what he was saying, he hated missing sessions, it sometimes he needed too, for his own good.
Nikki always had worked himself too hard and that came from him wanting to prove himself to everyone, by now he didn't need too but he'll always have that drive I think after thinking he was worthless for so many years.
Nikki rarely got sick in the form of fevers and that kinda thing, he was lucky in that regard however when he did get colds, they kicked his fucking ass, that's what would happen the next few days.
He was bad today but he'll get worse before he got better.
I made the coffee as quickly as possible, not wanting to dawdle much, I was gone probably five minutes and by the time I got back upstairs, Nikki was sprawled out on his stomach on the bed like a starfish, groaning and coughing relentlessly.
A little smirk pulled at the corners of my lips as I enter the bedroom, and I cleared my throat and that made the bassist crack an eye open at me, watching me approach him with the coffee in my hand "You playing the dramatic card now, huh? Poor baby, you'll be okay... did you take the aspirin like I told you too?"
Nikki nods "I'm not totally incapable of following instructions."
"Really? I wouldn't know that given you rarely follow any instructions."
Nik hauled his ass up into a sitting position once again and gave me a glare, taking the coffee from my hand and sniffed it then furrowed his eyebrows "Dunno why I did that, I can't breathe out my nose let alone smell anything... you did put booze in this didn't you like I asked?"
"I did, it was kinda pointless given you won't be able to taste it but I promise it's in there."
"Thank you."
"No problem." I replied, getting back into bed, sitting against the headboard, holding an arm out as an invitation for Nikki to cuddle me a little and be accepted that offer, placing his head on my chest "You alright? And be honest."
"Feel like I've been ran over by a truck." Nik mutters as I ran a hand through his black locks softly, placing a kiss to the side of his head.
"I know... I'll call the studio once it's closer to the time you were meant too go in and tell whoever answers you won't be in. If you stay here, don't do too much, keep up medication and drink plenty of fluids you should be fine."
"Why did this have to happen to me? This hardly ever happens to me."
"Are you sulking?"
"Yes." He answered dryly "This fucking sucks... why is it when I get sick it ruins me?"
"Because you're both the luckiest and the unluckiest person alive. It's not all bad though, you were bitching to me the other day about those couple of songs Doc wanted you to re-write by the end of the week, and how you didn't have the time... now you do."
"Don't try and make this situation a good one, don't go all optimistic on me, I'm not feeling too optimistic right now."
"I'm going optimistic on you, I'm only saying you have more time to do what Doc wants you to do."
"He can suck my dick... there's nothing wrong with those fucking songs, but maybe I'll start re-writing them if I feel like it later, I don't feel like doing shit right now."
"That's fair." I nod, as the bassist sipped his coffee "Taste any of it?"
"No... actually, a little maybe... you weren't lying, there's definitely alcohol in here. Thanks babe, you're the best."
"I wasn't going to lie, I know you'd make me come down and add it anyway if you'd have noticed I hadn't when you first asked for it."
"You know me so well."
"I do, and be glad that I do. You might hate it sometimes but you better I know you the more I will do the opposite of what you say, given you never like to admit when you're wrong or when there's something wrong with you." I tell my boyfriend in a knowing voice, booping his nose softly with a finger which makes him smile and look up at me.
"You don't need to treat me like I'm a baby."
"You love it when I treat you like a baby."
"Yeah, but you still don't have to do it."
I shrugged and leant down closer to Nikki so our noses were touching "I like to do it cause I love you and because I know you like it, although you'd ruthlessly deny it if anyone found out."
"I would... but if it was the other guys, they wouldn't say too much on it."
"Wouldn't they? I thought they'd tease you to the ends of the earth, at least that's what you always say."
"Oh, they would... but I have dirt on each of their sorry asses that'd shut them up. Like for example, Vince is a massive cuddler too, I went around to his place once when he was still with Beth but wasn't sure if he was in or not cause his car and bike were in the garage, I went to the window to see if I could see anyone inside the house and saw him cuddled up with Beth on the couch. I'm waiting to use it against him at the opportune moment given I can only use it once."
I hummed "Vince being cuddly doesn't actually surprise me, it's written all over him, at least it is to me."
"You saw that in him? Interesting, he never seemed the type to me."
"I saw it in him like I always saw it in you."
"How? I never gave anything away at the start."
"Eh. That's debatable, you gave away more than you think you did." I reason as Nikki starts coughing, quite violently actually. Once he stops, I asked "You okay?"
"Yeah." He croaked back "Fuck. Could do with a throat lozenge or twenty though, maybe water too."
"You telling me that or giving me a shopping list?"
"We have those things in the house if I'm not mistaken, and you were adamant on me staying here so, now I agreed to stay here... you gotta get things for me and glue yourself to me cause being close to you makes me feel better, hurry up back."
"I hate you." I muttered, once again slipping out of bed to collect what Nikki needed "I love you but I hate you too."
"Feelings mutual babe, you're still the best."
"Uhuh, keep the sweet talking coming." I joke, heading into the bathroom, grabbing one of the clean glasses we had in here to hold some water for Nikki, and the throat lozenges from the cabinet above the sink.
It didn't take longer than a few seconds to fill the glass with water and take the throat lozenges into the bedroom, passing both to Nikki who was once again drinking his whiskey infused coffee "Here."
"Thanks." The man spoke, immediately pushing one of the lozenges out of the packet and putting it into his mouth, flickering his eyes to me for a split second "You're gonna get sick too if you stay close to me."
"I'll take that risk, you get co-dependent as hell when you're like this, if I left for longer than five minutes you'd be calling me to come back."
"That's embarrassingly accurate... do I give a single solitary fuck right now though? Absolutely fucking not, come 'ere." Nikki said matter of factly, making sure I was in the exact same position I had been before I left the bed for the second time.
"I like you when you're sick." I whispered softly.
Nik then looks at me confused "You like me when I'm sick?"
"Yeah, I'm not saying I like when you're sick, I just mean that you're cute when you're sick... you get even more cuddly."
"You know I hate it when you say I'm cute. I'm badass, I'm not cute." Nik huffed burying himself further into my chest.
"You're not doing much to prove me wrong or yourself right."
"Because I'm trying to convince myself you're wrong."
"Is it working?"
"No."
"Then just accept defeat, are you hungry? I'll go make some food, and then we can shower and watch some TV."
"I'll just have toast or something given I can't taste anything, it'll just be a waste of good food otherwise. I'll follow you downstairs, saves me getting too comfortable up here then not wanting to move."
I nodded "Okay."
And that's what we did. Nikki and I made our way downstairs, he sat on the couch while I went into the kitchen making us food and then giving it an hour or so before calling the studio and telling Tom Werman, who answered the phone, Nikki wouldn't be in today and to pass that message onto everyone else.
Throughout most of the morning, including the time we took to eat and shower, Nikki did nothing but complain about how awful he felt and how much he was missing out on in the studio, how he had a really good idea to share with Tommy and that he wanted to purposely piss Vince off for a cheap laugh, but instead he was here being constantly reminded he was sick from his stuffy nose and coughing fits.
It wasn't annoying complaining but I didn't know what else I could do to make him feel better, I'd given him as much as I could to help him, given him something to clear his nose as much as possible, and little could be done about his coughing fits.
Nikki wasn't good at being ill, Vince was a drama queen when he got sick and he'll always take that too spot but Nikki has to be a close second, he did some of it just to get under my skin, that much I knew. Nikki and I's relationship was like that, it wasn't ever malicious but we definitely liked playing with each other.
Though at the same time, we knew boundaries and when to not overstep them, we weren't the perfect couple but we were perfect for each other and the best thing that ever happened to me was meeting Nikki.
Eventually, we did make our way back upstairs to cuddle up in bed again, before we did that though, the bassist did try and re-write those songs Doc wanted him too. He didn't have to re-write them word for word but just improve them as apparently they weren't nearly good enough for what Nikki was capable of, Nikki had fought against Doc's opinion at first but caved when he got fed up of arguing.
I saw what Doc meant, they weren't Nikki's best lyrics but he never intended for these songs to be the best things he's ever written, his intentions had been for Vince, Mick and Tommy pitch in their ideas and add to them though Doc happened to unfortunately get there first and I insist Nikki improved them, he'd no doubt still give them to the other guys but the lyrics will just have to be more up to Doc's standards beforehand is all.
Nikki had made changes to one of the two songs but after that I told him to leave the second one until tomorrow, wanting him to just relax a little and not work too much while also wanting him to have his peace of mind about having to re-write these damn lyrics, so one song for the day will do.
Once back upstairs, we laid on our designated sides of the bed and I reached a hand over towards Nikki, putting my fingers on his head to mess with his midnight black hair.
"I wanna do things and I can't without coughing my internal organs out, it's a drag. This is so fucking dull. I should be working, why does god have to fuck me in the ass like this, I've got better things to do than expel my lungs out through my mouth."
"Would you quit moaning, it's practice all you've done for the last few hours." I huff "I know you like to work, and I know every album needs to reach your perfectionistic standards but you get to spend time with me when you're sick, we get alone time without the other three guys taking the piss, look at it that way."
"Nah, I'd rather be working." Nikki grumbles with a small smirk, and I elbowed him for the remark.
"Bastard."
"You don't care, not really. It's a part of why I love you."
"Cause you can bully me and I don't retaliate?"
"I don't bully you, it's friendly banter, don't make me out like I'm a dick." Nikki pouted.
"You don't want me to make you out like you're a dick yet you act like a dick? Flawed logic there baby."
"Works perfectly well in my eyes, I might be a dick and I might act like a dick, but I don't like being made to feel like I'm a dick."
"Being told you're a dick might get to stop being one a little."
"Being a dick has certain advantages... but I try not to ever be a dick to you, you don't deserve that... don't do a good job of it half the time but I do try."
"You do and you should give yourself more credit."
"Possibly... I'll always be glad I met you." The bassist tells me entwining his hand with mine.
"Cause I look after you when you're sick?"
"Yeah, that's totally the only reason." The older man teases "No... but because you care about me more than anyone else ever has in my life. I love you, I really do. I'm a pain and I know it and I want you to know I appreciate everything you do for me, cause you've made me a better version of me."
"I know all of this... you don't have to say it for me to see it. I love you too, baby... always. You should try and sleep some more, it'll make you recover quicker."
"As long as you don't sneak off, I don't wanna wake up and you be downstairs watching movies without me."
"I won't, I promise. Scouts honour." I promised, putting a hand over my heart for affect.
"Don't you have to actually be a scout for that to be valid?" Nikki wondered and I shrugged, kissing his lips gently.
"Technicalities aren't important in this instance. I promise I'll be here when you wake up, I always will be."
Nikki smiled gratefully, seeing the deeper meaning of what I'd said, because I knew Nikki hated being alone, he hated waking up alone, it reminded him of the times when he used to be and as I'd told him many many times, he never would be again.
He then shuffled down the bed a little and put his head on my stomach, and my hand remained in his hair the entire time, not stopping combing my fingers through it until I knew he was asleep.
Sick Nikki was clingy as fuck, but sick Nikki just did what perfectly okay Nikki was sometimes a little scared to do which was show vulnerability. Nik trusted me, and he trusted me above all others that's never in doubt but there were times where he couldn't break out of the mindset he had to keep everything to himself.
I didn't mind clingy Nikki, because deep down that's who Nikki was behind the ego, substance abuse and the defence mechanisms, he was just a touch starved, damaged soul looking for someone to love him and I did wholly and utterly, and I'd never stop because although he needed reminding sometimes, he was a good person even if his words and actions sometimes said otherwise.
While Nikki was sick, he was a little kitten, and I loved him that way, no ego, no anything, he was just who he was in his heart and I loved seeing it and it made me love him all the more. And I'll be by his side until he recovers, no doubt me catching whatever he has in the process but it was worth it if it got Nikki back doing what he loves.
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