A/N - nearly 3am but oh well😍
TW - scenes some may find upsetting
~~~
"Hey Zane!", I stepped out of the way as all four of my cousins entered the house, three of them with rucksacks in their hands.
"Eight children for the night, what a treat", Marco smirked, closing the door behind him and running a hand through his hair, "I appreciate you doing this".
"I'm seventeen, hardly need a babysitter", Emiliano rolled his eyes, dropping his bag and kicking off his shoes, "where's Cub?".
"In his room", I waved a hand, "you're changed your hair". As soon as I mentioned it he grinned, ruffling it with a proud look on his face; it was pink and almost resembled cotton candy.
"I did", he nodded, "you like it?".
"He looks like a lollipop that was dropped on the floor", Elijah said and I laughed, cupping a hand over my mouth and watching Marco's lips tip up in amusement.
"You little shit", Emiliano roughed up his brother with a chuckle, I stole a glance at Ezekiel who hadn't moved from Marco's side yet, nor had he said anything other than hello. I made it my mission to bring him out of his shell a little over the next twenty four hours.
"I'll see the three of you tomorrow, hm?", Marco stepped towards the door, reaching out for the handle, "make your cousin's life hell for me".
He was a prick.
"You never did say what you're doing, we never stay at Zane's", Elijah called out his brother and he smirked, raking a hand through his black hair.
"Taking the lives of the incompetent", was all he said and I rolled my eyes; I'd never get over how open he was with his brothers about killing people, "I'll see you tomorrow".
He gave me one last nod, reached out and cupped a hand behind Ezekiel's neck and kissed his forehead before stepping outside, the door closing behind him.
"I'm going to see Cub", Emiliano headed upstairs, bag slung over his shoulder, his bright pink hair soon moving out of sight.
"Where are the twins Zane?", Elijah asked, placing his bag by his shoes, "we haven't seen them in ages".
"I believe they're in the movie room", I told them and he nodded, latching onto Ezekiel's wrist and tugging him along too. Maybe looking after all eight of them would be easier than I thought...
~
I spoke too soon.
They were driving me up the walls.
And by 'they' I meant both sets of twins- well, excluding Ezekiel. It'd only been a few hours but Marco's return couldn't come any sooner; I'd only just managed to leave them be after my lecture on why we don't pour salt in my coffees when I'm not looking.
I tried to focus on the tv in the living room despite the dull headache that had now arisen, I didn't need this shit. It was then that my mind found itself drifting to Cairo, I wondered what we'd be doing had he still been alive.
A sentence I never thought I'd find myself saying two years ago.
With a small sigh I placed my mug on the table, making a mental note to go and visit him tomorrow and crossing my left leg over the other, sinking back further into the sofa.
"I need advice", my relaxation was cut short when Chase entered the room, dropping onto the sofa to my right, crossing his legs and facing me sideways.
"Hit me", I nodded, giving him my full attention; he never usually came to me for advice, he was the brother who could figure out a lot on his own.
"I wanna buy Rory a thank you present", he said shyly, his cheeks flushing ever so slightly, "for learning sign".
"You really like her, hm?", I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, I was just thankful he was becoming a little more sociable, even if it was with just one other person.
"I haven't known her long", he shrugged and I nodded, "but nobody's made an effort before, other than Felix and Dakari, so I wanna say thank you".
"You have a heart bigger than your brain", I ruffled his hair with a chuckle and he adjusted his glasses, "what kind of present were you thinking?".
"I thought flowers, but that's too romantic right? Then I thought chocolates, but that's the same- plus that feels like a Valentine's present. I thought about a teddy bear, which I'm still contemplating, she likes horror movies, theme parks- she's very adrenaline seeking and- why are you laughing?", I couldn't help the deep rumble that came from my chest, seeing my brother talking so animatedly was something I'd barely witnessed before.
"I'm sorry", I cleared my throat, "I've never seen you ramble like that in my life". He rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat, drumming his fingers on his knees.
"Are you gonna help or not?", he snapped before his eyes widened, "I'm sorry, I-".
"Don't apologise", I laughed, "a theme park is...extravagant, horror movie merchandise is a potential, so is a teddy bear...you're thanking her for learning sign, correct?".
"Yeah", he confirmed and I hummed, "what?".
"Why not incorporate that into it?", I suggested and he narrowed his eyes, "a teddy bear with hearing aids? A performance in the cafeteria using sign?".
"You're crazy for that second idea", he muttered, rising to his feet and stretching, "but the first wasn't awful".
"I know", I deadpanned, "and Chase? Don't feel obliged to thank Aurora for communicating with you- by the sounds of it she's more than happy".
"I know", he shuffled on his feet, "but it's nice to have someone who cares, you know?". I just nodded, keeping it to myself that I did not, in fact, have anyone who cared right now.
Not anyone I wasn't blood related to anyway.
Or who weren't the parents of my brother's friend.
"I'm proud of you", I told him as he went to leave the room, he stopped in his tracks and faced me with a frown.
"For what?", he scoffed.
"Do I need a reason?", I raised an eyebrow and he poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue.
"I guess not", he shrugged and I hummed.
"Then I'm proud of you", I repeated and he smiled.
"In that case, I'm proud of you too", he told me, taking a few steps towards the doorway.
"I-", I didn't even get a word in at the rate he cut me off at.
"Do I need a reason?", he used my own words against me and I snapped my mouth shut, "exactly".
Well then.
~~
"They were a nightmare, I'm telling you, Marco couldn't have picked them up quicker", I picked at the grass beside me, legs stretched out as I stared at the headstone in front of me, "I think things have been okay lately". I found it to be a miracle that I no longer sat here and just sobbed, or hyperventilated; my cousin had had to drive out here to help me out on numerous occasions now.
"Prescott's mature- he's always been mature, but if you could see him now you'd think he was my twin. Caleb's...trying, school could be going better for him but he has his two best friends, he doesn't need anyone but them and us- that's what I think anyway, and Chase has a crush. Quiet, constantly-shut-away Chase has a crush...it's like they're all growing up in front of my eyes. I wish you could see them. I wish I could see you", I swallowed deeply and cleared my throat, refusing to let any tears fall right now, "the twins are my biggest source of entertainment, and I'm sure will be my downfall- the way they argue and make up two minutes later will never fail to amuse me...I just wish you were here to see it all Cairo".
I knew they said you never got over your first love, but I hadn't believed it until that day two years ago; I couldn't see myself getting over him ever.
It felt as if my heart had died and been buried right alongside him.
~
And that was how I ended up at Cairo, falling into repetitive patterns and drowning my sorrows yet again while Prescott watched the others.
The familiar burn of alcohol running down my throat did nothing but put me at ease, silence all of the shit in my head. I could've stayed at home, but shutting out everything around me seemed easier if I was intoxicated. And now that I could legally drink, I felt less guilty about getting completely wasted under the strobe lighting and surrounded by people left right and centre.
And as the alcohol clouded my judgement, I felt no way when I made out with who knows who against the walls, in the bathroom, at the bar; so many people would shake their heads if they could've seen me.
But I couldn't find it in me to care.
I'd deal with the repercussions tomorrow.
~
My head felt like it had been smacked against a brick wall, then kicked.
If it wasn't the consequences of my own actions, again.
I groaned, rubbing a palm down my face as I squirmed in my...sofa?
Not my bed.
I sat up and peered around, my jeans and black T-shirt still on me as the smell of vodka wafted around me and made me wince; what the fuck was I doing in the living room? I rubbed my eyes harshly as if it would wake me from whatever dream this was- I didn't even remember getting home last night, or this morning.
I needed to get the boys up for school and- fuck, fuck, fuck.
I pulled out my phone to check the time, shooting to my feet the second I realised it was almost midday- if this wasn't a wake-up call to get my shit together I didn't know what was. I clutched my head as I shuffled into the kitchen first, needing some painkillers before I woke them up and apologised profusely, not that I thought they'd mind. They'd kill for a day off of school anytime.
Frowning when I entered the silent room, I picked up the sheet of paper left on the kitchen counter, recognising Prescott's handwriting in an instant.
He'd gotten them all up and taken them to school.
God I was fucking useless.
I couldn't even stick to a damn routine, couldn't be there for them without going out and getting fucked up, couldn't pull myself together enough to take them to school? And I'd left it all to Prescott who, of course, hadn't bothered me.
I didn't even realise I was barely breathing until I blinked, a hand pressing down on my chest instantly- not now.
Something could've happened to them while you were passed out.
I held onto the counter and coughed, rubbing small circles on my chest as I closed my eyes.
The note could be forged.
Stop it.
Prescott could've been held at gunpoint to write that.
Make it stop.
They could all be in danger right now.
Make it stop.
Kidnapped.
My pulse quickened as I fought to draw in a simple breath, my hands cramping as my legs began to tremble- I could feel myself physically crumbling with every slow second that passed.
They're not safe.
I wheezed, needing to breathe- wanting to fucking breathe...I needed to know they were okay.
You failed them.
I couldn't even see my phone screen due to the rate my hands were trembling, I could barely keep a hold on the device as my vision grew blurry and the room began to spin; I needed to try and calm down.
Your stupidity could've cost them their lives.
I stumbled out of the room, holding onto every wall and door frame in sight with my left hand as I kept my right on my chest as if it was glued there; I needed to get upstairs.
You can't even call them to see if they're okay, you're pathetic.
I winced, trying to shake my head rid of those thoughts as I hauled myself up the stairs, they felt like they went on forever until I felt the familiar feeling of plush carpet under my feet, the sensation grousing me for all of three seconds.
When I made it to that one door, the one place where I knew I'd feel safe right now, I all but collapsed on the floor, clutching my throat as I choked; my knees digging into the pink rug as I pleaded with myself to let some air in.
"You're safe, you're okay, you're safe, they're safe", I tried to console myself, my voice sounding barely recognisable to myself, "fuck". I changed positions so my back was against Isabella's untouched bed, bringing my legs up so my knees were digging into my chest, bowing my head between them as I closed my eyes and inhaled shakily- come on Zane.
The letter, it's fake- they're not okay.
I groaned, gripping my hair and tugging- I was gonna die in here.
I couldn't breathe, no matter how hard I tried- I was gonna die in my sister's abandoned bedroom, the one place in this house that made me feel this safe.
I pulled out my phone and exhaled shakily, forcing myself to squint just enough so I could make out the number I needed to call- I couldn't do this on my own.
"Cousin", I put the phone on speaker and dropped it to the ground, dipping my head between my legs and pulling on my hair.
"I need you", I wished my voice hadn't come out so pleading, so desperate- yet here I was, begging for my younger cousin to come and save me from the crippling panic that seemed to be showing no signs of stopping.
"Five minutes", the call cut and I choked out a sob- why the fuck was I like this? What had I done, who had I upset so much for my life to be so shit?
I wanted nothing more than for my life to be normal, but every single aspect of it was ensuring it was anything but. And Marco wondered why I didn't want to be here anymore.
~
My breathing showed no signs of slowing, my head feeling heavy from the panic as well as the hangover, my body trembling as if it were freezing cold in here; I felt like I'd been sitting here dying for hours before I heard the pounding of the door downstairs.
I couldn't move.
There was no way in hell I could get up and open that door. I let out a pained noise, knowing there was now only a fucking door between my cousin and I- until a deafening thud filled my ears and footsteps stamped towards me; I'd never been more relieved to see Marco's face in my life.
He dropped to his knees beside me, panting, usually neat hair going in all directions as some stuck to his forehead; no doubt he'd broken a few driving laws to get here that quickly.
"Can I touch you?", upon seeing my rapid nod he cupped a hand behind my neck and lifted it slightly, his thumb rubbing back and forth slowly, "breathe, you're okay". Although his voice was completely monotonous and lacking the emotion, I knew he was concerned, even if he didn't show it; plus the permanent commanding tone he had was helping to keep me grounded.
"I can't", I shook my head from side to side, the movement making me wince, "I can't".
"You can, I'm not going anywhere", he insisted, guiding my legs down with a semi-firm push, "tell me five things you can see".
"What are you-,", I pushed down on my chest harder and he tipped my chin up.
"Five things", he repeated and I inhaled shakily, "slowly".
"You...the rug...my phone", I coughed, squeezing my right hand in a fist, "a teddy bear....wardrobe". A hand pushed my hair off of my forehead and I closed my eyes, hating every second of this the longer it went on.
"Four you can feel", he pushed, continuing to rub my neck, I'd never seen or felt Marco act with such care, "Zane".
"My heartbeat", I puffed out my cheeks and buried the fingers of my left hand into the rug beneath us, "the rug...your hand....my clothes".
"Three you can hear", he ordered and I swallowed, this was pure fucking torture.
"My heartbeat...your voice", I shook my head, "that's it".
"Hmm", he hummed, "two you can smell".
"Vodka", I breathed out, feeling his eyes boring into me.
"That's one", really?
"Marco", I gritted out and he huffed, "I'm fine".
"And are you lying to convince me or yourself?", his hand remained on my neck, the other now rubbing my knee in small circles, "what happened?".
"Where did you learn that?", I asked him quietly, my breathing still slowing to an appropriate pace.
"Google", he lifted a shoulder, "don't deflect".
"I woke up on the sofa", I said slowly, wishing I could just crawl into my shower and sit in there for hours, "I uh- was out last night-,".
"Intoxicated, I assume?", he raised an eyebrow and my head jerked in a small nod.
"Prescott left a note saying he'd taken the boys to school, I was passed out", I sighed, "my mind convinced me something happened to them, anyone could've forced Prescott to write that".
"Your brain is a dangerous thing, cousin", he paused for a moment, "and they're fine- your brother called me this morning".
"Saying what?", I frowned, slowly prying my hand from my chest and clearing my throat.
"He was asking if Xavier and Xander started at the time they said they did, he believed they were lying", sounded about right, "you can't let your mind overpower you like that".
"Easier said than fucking done", I scoffed, peering around the room with a sigh.
"Can I ask why you were in here?", he said after a moment, taking in the room too, "I can't say I've been in here recently".
"Everything feels normal in here", I whispered, "I can convince myself she's just downstairs if I sit here long enough- we haven't moved anything since she left".
"I understand", was all he said before falling silent, "dare I say you're just as worrying as I am?".
"Shut up", I shoved his head and he smirked; what a shitshow of a day...
~
"Woahh, it smells good", I'd never been more relieved in my life to hear the voices of my brothers, "what happened to the door?".
Oh.
"Did we get robbed, is Zane here?", I needed to fix that within the hour, Marco had kicked the shit out of it to get in earlier.
"No, someone broke in and cooked us dinner- course he's here", I couldn't help but smirk as footsteps approached the kitchen, although I still felt somewhat shaky, my mind was no longer plagued with those thoughts and for that I was grateful.
"Woah", they all said in awe, the five of them gathered in the doorway- you'd think they hadn't seen food before.
"You made all this Zane?", Xavier came over and hugged me from the side, "are you better? Scott said you were sick this morning". I made eye contact with Prescott who just nodded at me once, I needed to thank him properly for what he'd done today.
"I'm okay now, nothing a few painkillers couldn't fix", I ruffled his hair and turned to the others, "good day?".
"It was okay".
"Shit".
"Real fucking shit".
"Decent", Prescott shrugged, "how was yours?".
Oh you know, I nearly died on our sister's bedroom floor and had to be rescued by our cousin.
"Uneventful", I muttered, "everyone sit at the table".
"Mac and cheese? Pizza? Chicken?", Xavier rounded the table and grinned, "pinch me Xan- ow!".
"You asked for it", he snorted, dropping into a chair and grabbing a raspberry from the tray of fruit I'd laid out, "what's the occasion?".
"I can't cook a nice meal for you all?", I asked and he narrowed his eyes at me.
"It's suspicious", he said and I hummed, "not complaining, I'm hungry as shit".
"You'll never stop swearing, will you?", I sighed, taking a seat at the head of the table.
"Not as long as I'm breathing", he saluted me and everyone rolled their eyes.
"I'm hungry as shit too, I'm a growing boy", Caleb rubbed his stomach, sitting beside Chase and grabbing a pizza slice, shoving over half into his mouth, "so fucking good".
"Table manners?", Prescott slapped his head and I laughed, "I'm living with animals".
"Speak for yourselves", Chase scoffed, adjusting his glasses before taking a large scoop of mac and cheese, "this looks so good Zane".
"It's just food", I shrugged and Prescott rolled his eyes.
"Take a compliment", he told me and I kept quiet, "you're squirming in your seat, just get up".
"Sorry", Xavier said sheepishly, picking up his plate and moving towards the counter.
"Run laps for all I care", I waved a hand with a small smile, "you all mean more to me than oxygen, you know that right?".
"Are you dying?", Xavier asked and I frowned.
"Why would he be dying?", Alexander stared at his twin incredulously and he surrendered.
"Just asking", he muttered, "but uh, love you too Zane".
"Me too", Chase grinned.
"Me three", Caleb smirked, not looking up from his plate.
"Me four", Prescott made eye contact with me and nodded, I returned the gesture before all eyes settled on Alexander.
"Me five", he rolled his eyes, a smile breaking through eventually; just me and them.
~~~
A/N - Zane & Marco 🥹
If all goes to plan we're now officially halfway through this book🫡🫡