Chapter Four - The Suspect List
"Shoot me in the head!"
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McKenna was sitting on a bench outside of the college with the others, she was between Tara and Ethan while Mindy was standing in front of them. "Okay, nerds, listen up!" Mindy called, getting their attention. "As terrifying as this all is, I'm actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time." Mindy said, looking down and fixing her shirt.
"Yep." Chad hummed.
"It's fine." Mindy muttered before taking a deep breath. "The way I see it, someone is out to make a sequel to the requel." Mindy started.
Anika put up her hand, she was sitting between Quinn and Sam on a different bench. "Um, what's a requel?" She asked.
Mindy pointed at her. "You're beautiful, sweetie. Let's hold questions to the end." Mindy told her, earning a smile from Anika.
"Stab One took place in Woodsboro. Stab Two took place in college." Sam told them.
"Hey, look at that." McKenna started, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "Woodsboro survivors," She motioned between her, the sisters, and the twins, "college." She motioned to the big building behind them before dropping her hand. "Yay." She said sarcastically.
"So we think that the killer is trying to copy the movies?" Tara asked, looking up at Mindy as Chad focused on his notebook.
"That is one possibility. Heros now in college: check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and/or body count: check, check and check." Mindy said, pointing to Quinn, Anika, and Ethan.
"I don't like this." Ethan muttered, looking away.
"But it can't just be about Stab Two." Mindy said.
"Why not?" Tara questioned.
"It would make sense if this were just a sequel. But we're not in a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore." Mindy told them, it was dead silent among the group. "We're in a franchise! And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise."
"I had a feeling." Sam muttered.
"Rule one: everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count. Longer chases, shoot-outs, beheadings. You got to top what came before to keep people coming back." Mindy informed them.
"Beheadings?" Chad repeated his sister's words, looking up from his notebook.
"Beheadings." Mindy confirmed. "Rule two: whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiny snowflake film nerds with Letterboxed accounts instead of personalities, you can bet the opposite will be true here."
McKenna hummed, nodding along with what Mindy was saying. "And rule three: no one is safe. Legacy characters? Cannon fodder at this point. Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia. It's not looking too good for Gale and Kirby. Oh, and that's not even the worst part!"
"Oh, this is the part where she tells us the worst part." Chase said, not looking up from his notebook, Tara, Ethan, and McKenna looking over at him.
"The worst part is that franchises are just continuing episodic installments designed to boost an IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now, too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley, Sally Hardesty, Jigsaw, Tony Stark, James Bond, I mean, even Luke Skywalker all died so their franchises could live on. That means it's not just the friend group. Any of us could go at any time, especially Sam and Tara." Mindy explained to them, the group was silent as the sisters shared a look.
"Wait, wait, any of us?" Ethan asked.
"Yeah." Mindy confirmed.
"Is-am-am I in the friend group?" Ethan asked again.
"Yeah." Mindy nodded.
"Am I, like, one of the targets?" Ethan questioned, McKenna narrowing her eyes at the boy.
"Mm-hmm." Mindy hummed.
"Am I gonna die a virgin?" Ethan asked, causing everyone to look at him strangely.
"Ethan, time to shut your mouth." McKenna said, placing her hand over his mouth.
"That was a weird overshare." Mindy laughed.
"But probably." McKenna added on, pulling her hand away from Ethan's mouth.
"Thanks, Ken." Ethan muttered sarcastically, crossing his arms.
"But it brings us to our current suspects: Ethan." Mindy continued, walking up to Ethan. "The shy, dorky guy who no one suspects because he's so shy and dorky."
"Okay, w-why am I on the suspect list? Because I'm randomly Chad's roommate?" Ethan asked, pointing over at Chad.
"Roommate lotteries can be juked. You could have fixed it to get next to us." Mindy told him, he rolled his eyes, looking away as Mindy turned to the next suspect. "Quinn. The slutty roommate. A horror movie..." Mindy smacks her lips. "Classic."
"Sex positive, but... Thank you?" Quinn said, but it came out more like a question.
"Mm-hmm. Um, how did you come to live with Sam and Tara?" Mindy asked.
"I answered their ad online." Quinn answered, looking over at Sam, who nodded.
"Okay, say no more. You've already implicated yourself enough." Mindy stated.
"It was an anonymous ad, Mindy. And you know we vetted her. Plus, her dad is a cop." Tara defended.
"Never trust the daughter of a cop in these situations." McKenna said, Mindy pointing at her in agreement.
"Thank you, Kenna. That makes it more likely that she's the killer, because having a cop dad is a great cover. Do you not remember how these movies work, Tara!?" Mindy exclaimed.
Quinn looked over at Sam. "Is she always like this?"
Sam just nodded.
"And finally... Anika." Mindy walked over to her girlfriend, who blew her a kiss, Mindy doing the same. "Never trust the love interest." Mindy said, her face dead serious, causing Anika's smile to drop.
"Okay! So, we have our rules, and we have our suspects." Sam said, leaning forward.
"But wait. What about you guys?" Ethan asked.
"I mean, I think it's pretty safe to rule out the five of us who went through this last year in Woodsboro." Mindy crossed her arms.
Chad pointed his pencil at his twin. "Agreed."
"Um, not agreed. What if the trauma you all went through caused one or more of you to snap?" Quinn asked.
McKenna gasped dramatically at that. "Oh, no! Sorry guys, Quinn caught me, I'm one of the killers. Shoot me in the head!" She said sarcastically, standing up and putting her hands above her head.
"Sit down, McKenna." Tara muttered, pulling the girl back down between her and Ethan.
"Yeah, or the fame you got from the killings made you thirst for more." Ethan started. "I mean, let's be honest here, some of the theories online about Sam are--"
Tara cut him off. "Don't you fucking dare."
Ethan raised his brows, looking away from her.
"Okay, she's right, though. I mean, face facts-- if we're all suspects, you're all suspects." Anika said, motioning between everyone.
"Yeah, and jeez, McKenna Macher really does seem like the type of person to be a killer." Quinn added on.
"Okay, alright, Quinn Bailey, sure, go ahead and try to blame it on me. You're probably the killer and just using me being Stu's daughter as cover to get everyone off your ass." McKenna shot back at her.
"Come on, we know McKenna, she wouldn't do anything to hurt us." Chad added on.
McKenna rolled her eyes, standing up and walking away. Her being Macher's daughter doesn't mean she's the fucking killer, God. McKenna walked inside a building, going into the bathroom, which was empty. She turned on the water and splashed her face before looking up and jumping when she saw who was in the mirror as well.
"Hello, mini me." Stu grinned.
"Fuck off, Dad." McKenna grumbled, whipping her face with paper towels.
"Why do you let them push you around like that? Why do you let them harass you about being my daughter?" Stu questioned.
"They don't harass me, Quinn, Anika, and Ethan are just being cautious, like the rest of us are. So, yeah, they have every right to think that I could be one of the killers, seeing how I'm related to you." McKenna stated.
"Well, on that note, then shouldn't they be harassing Sam as well? I mean, she is Billy's daughter after all." Stu told her.
"Sam has been..." McKenna trailed off when the bathroom door opened, an older lady walking in, she went to the furthest stall. Once McKenna knew that she was okay, she continued with her talk. "Sam has been through a lot, and it's not any better now that the rumors online are all blaming her for killing Richie."
"But she did kill Richie." Stu noted, tilting his head in confusion.
"Yes, but..." McKenna sighed. "They think she planned the whole thing."
"But she didn't."
"Gosh, Dad, you're stating the obvious." McKenna rolled her eyes. "Look, I've got to go, alright? I'm done talking to you." She said, walking away from the mirror.
"Bye, McKenna." Stu called after her, she flipped him off, even though she knew he wasn't really there.
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